Hey dudes here’s a bit from last night’s piss-up. Oh it delivered alright.

Warren took this one.

Thanks all SO much for coming! More sharesies later! Maybe Ill post some of my material. Dave’s impersonation of me was insanely perfect. He memorized a blog post and said it word for word with sassy Raymi the Minxisms. I died. Ill upload it for sure! Thanks for being part of my world, guys you mean the world to me.

Hello Raymi – time again for my approx six-monthly “hello” to you. This one occasioned by your 15th blogversary.

S.

+++++

So I decided to give you a break from bed photos of me for ONE post and by you I meant me as well cos fuck does it ever get boring coming up with new captions for what is essentially the same photo over and over again like a big symphony of so what but I then realized I had no extra energy to blog anything other than photos of me on a bed right now so lets just get this over with. I’ve been writing stand-up material so all the creative juices are going that-a-way so just deal with these beautiful pictures of me instead thanks for understanding.

Tracey gets props for demanding I get into this get-up again.

This one is pretty water nymphe.

Here I am being blown away by the test shots on my phone.

Back in my look before the white dress.

My mom said not to use these ones because too much butt. BUT. This is what I look like. Is that not body shaming? Think about it. If Beth Ditto was in the same outfit in the same pose everyone would be fucking cheering good for her. Sorry that I have an ass fit for a statue.

Yes I am dying about it too it’s hella obscene ahahhaa.

This is the orig of the one everyone liked a lot that I instagrammed blahblergitty blah.

I think my ass has that quivering warp because I was ass nervous in front of my mom cos she was so against us being too provocative. It’s art. There is a story about a porn star being filmed by her own father, I’m saying grosser things have been done and there is nothing inappropriate in this shoot here. Look at Miley Cyrus. The end.

Okay I’ve come to the end of the pics I want to share now. Back to BOYLORD rehearsal + writing stand-up material. I am rather stoked about this Friday. Click the banner at the top of my blog to connect to the FACEBOOK event page, love!

Ps. Drag Queen Raymi!

Hi guys sorry I didn’t blog yesterday I was tired! You’re sick of me anyway so I’m sure you didn’t mind. At least I went through these shots and whittled down part II to 60 of them. O_O. I’m going to be posting less than that don’t worry. Being me is exhausting, in case you were wondering. I had other shit to do as well. I wrote more stand-up material too. Every time I say some sex jokes to my bro-friend he’s like NOPE! So that is a bit of a deterrent. Maybe I won’t invite him so I can make fun of him freely. I’m gonna have to get wicked fucking drunk to get through this.

I have confirmed a few celebs who will be in attendance this Friday. A celeb is someone who is more famous than me. So if you’re a Raymi fan and fan girl me plus see ME as a celebrity then boy are you in luck.

Guess why this one is cool it’s because it’s number 666! Blargh! Devil horns etc & so forth.

I bought those glasses that very day and look how dirty the lenses got so quickly.

The flyer original.

Lots of out takes. We had fun.

I was bed dancing. Trying to. We were having camera battery issues and losing daylight.

And I guess art was made.

If you want to ask me about that thing on my shoulder go right ahead. I can’t wait to go back to the plastic surgeon who screwed it all up and show him the fruits of his labours.

This is probably my typical resting emo face. I can ice you out like no other.

I’m in a baby crib. Symbology!

Hi again. Full original shot.

Can you figure out why I am laughing here. Hint: I farted.

These are all backwards in order btw.

And totally 100% my mom’s idea.

Try everything at least once no matter how cheesy I guess.

Sorry to be a douche and cut this short again, there’s just too many more to go.

Olive branch for now. I have writing to do. byeeeeeeeee

In true blogger fashion I have pissed the morning and day away takin’er ease, takin’ my time, spilling my brain rhymes into the abyss of my life. What does this all meeeeeeeeean people? Absolutely nothing. It’s my (blog’s) birthday and I can cry if I want to. It’s actually my Dad’s birthday today and I feel like a gigantic asshole taking it over with “this” but I am treating him to a fancy burger tonight for the day along with other presents I got for him too. I am a good daughter I will have you know. I know lots of people who don’t have dads and I want you to know that I do right by him despite my scandalicious blog. You have no idea how much you will miss your Dad when he is gone but I already do know that so we’ll be tight through thick and thin. A huge part of blogging for a blogger for fifteen years is now and again writing or featuring your family can you imagine the collective familial weight (and joy) of Raymi the Minx? A lot of people can relate to this because they have their own social media foibles and fanfare of family. Long story short Happy Birthday Nacnud you’re a gem as well as a blog star too so enjoy it lol xoxo.

Lets talk about Jian Ghomeshi now. I initially felt bad for him because his father died a couple weeks before all this went down, maybe his father homage was a pre-sympathy-plea? Last night while thumbing through the SUN’s (trash) paper on Jian Ghomeshi’s walk out of court made me think the fool was actually lucky his dad died bfore all this shit went down, lucky bastard right? Or maybe the hurt is two-fold. All the women he has hit in the past no offense their pain is over like a slap’s sting eventually fades. It doesn’t make it right but I can relate to someone who had all these grand notions for themself and unfortunately being pretentious and unlikeable is a big part of that ideal, and then the fall from grace. No one’s life is perfect, we all have a shit show moment at some point or other. Being a Canadian is tough too if you’re in the media. All of Canada slings dirt at you. Can dump you.

Anyway, this isn’t about Jian today this is about ME! It’s my turn to be a big suckhole brat today. No matter how old I am or how long I have been checking in with these mission statements over the years, the human is an ongoing vessel of developing improvement and continuing growth (here’s hoping) and like Political Correctness, we all evolve to adopt the trend of the new society or be witch hunted in fashion. The time of the woman is now. Don’t fucking ask why women are only speaking up now you Bill Cosby’s because you bloody well know why. Let the pitch forks be turned on you for once and boo hoo if it’s en masse because THAT is how many women you’ve besieged the advantage without consent of. -end rant-. HBD RTM LOL.

Woah sorry for the buzzkill although I know some of you like it you verbose pundits you. I was trying to summon the Raymi of yore. Of yore? Yes as there are many years to summon from. Fcuk am I ever scared about next Friday I might nervous fart myself to death. I’m going to talk about my date with Jian Ghomeshi there! Plus a bunch of other crazy shit too.

Lots of cheesy ones but whatevs I’ve had a chronic go of pain the last several weeks I am grateful for howver good I can look these days and I am done with fronting insecurity bitch I look good for my age.

Wienerific et al. I think I look better now than I did three years ago to be honest. That blonde hair aged me as well the lifestyle.

Had a great time working with my mom she’s way professional and certainily has an eye.

I’ve already been offered a few gigs from this shoot alone ;).

BTW remind me to link the OCAD U Itunes thing so you can see my talk!

What else is new.

$$$$.

ETC.

Oh btw have you checked out my Ello lately? Friend me on it if u r! https://ello.co/raymitheminx

Can’t do one w/o the fake handsies-onsies.

And now for the casual beach lover pics.

What? Mai tai? Sure I’d love to!

That thing on my knee is a volleyball scar.

Just gonna whip through these now it’s getting late.

Yahhhhhhhhhhh.

Speaking of volleyball time for some Top Gun.

And some of this!

Plus that!

And that’s it for today time to get ready for burgers! Thanks for being so good to me all these years Little Raymis. I’ll make a part II very soon from this shoot with my mom, just too many for one post I’m not THAT arrogant haha. Happy Blogiversary my blog I hope we win the lifetime achivement award for once and for all because I know we will hit the 20 year mark. When people ask me if I will be blogging in the future as if I will turn into a mega-celebrity at some point and abandon this I know for sure no fucking way I will never stop blogging, not ever.

eternally yours, Raymi the Minx.

Read it + do what it says and because you’re such good sports here is the original photo unobscured by my sick poster skills. Eventually there will be a few rotating fliers created for the whole family to collect and trade.

Tomorrow, November 28th, is the actual blogiversary date btw. It’s also my dad’s birthday by coincidence. Happy Birthday Dad I made a blog for you to read.

Tomorrow I will flood my blog with all the best pictures my mom took that you haven’t seen yet. We took 200. I’ll post 31.

Good day internet and happy Wednesday to you! Do you like my Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish called Wanda glasses and specific fashion reference, you betcha!

While we’re at it, notice how she got typecast in every single movie she’s in to look like this:

No matter what the era, you know she’s wearing an 80’s thong hiked way up at some point in that flick. I think it’s to make up for her shitty hairstyle. Why would you ruin a slammin’ bod with a teeny haircut like that I just don’t know. No offense short hair girls but it’s obvs I play for team long hair (you can pull on it all you want) to each their own, K-K-K-Ken!

Many years later in True Lies I rest my case. She did it also in 1983 in Trading Places and showed her boobs check it out. Should I feel sleazy peddling this to you cos I don’t. Okay that is enough about Jamie Lee Curtis (my spirit animal) for today!

Here I am being annoying as shit at Canadian Tire. I owed some handy man store patronage cos I got to do some girly shopping. My vision for this bow photo was to jump in the pile of them and act like I was being sucked in but someone didn’t have anymore patience. Now, while I know I push my luck with selfies and picture posing I’m also adamantly protective of my role as this navel gazing blogging weirdo. It’s what I do. Period. If someone can’t take two seconds out of their busy schedule to take my picture then it’s simply not gonna work out. I used to buckle under men’s moods in the past and let them NOT photograph me. Well, never again even if it causes WWIII.

I am 31. I am too old to be told. If crotchety men can be set in their ways well daggnabbit so am I. Not all men are dickbags about it however, some are delighted or will ask me before I ask if I want my picture taken beside whatever ridiculous thing we encounter.

Someone said men are the preferred second class citizens now thanks to all the woman help we get with rape crisis centers or whatever (which exist BECAUSE OF BEING RAPED BY MEN IDIOT!) and my response was yeah and it’s about fucking time so get used to it. Man whiners make me sick. Like, I hear man whining and I turn into a very not nice person so man up. I must be pmsing.

The source. Another boring man store. Yeah yeah kinda rich for me to be saying man boring this or that but it’s a joke, I know women buy tech shit too, chill. I just call bullshit on both genders how about that. I’m like a misogynist feminist. I called Canadian Tire a boring man store because: 1. boring 2. men go there 3. it’s a store. How much more transparency do you need here? I can send flash cards if necessary.

That’s what up my nose looks like. You can also see the ghost of an old lip piercing. There are cheaper knock-offs of my winter coat all over town I bought it last year. It wasn’t cheap either. You know when you see someone wearing a similar coat to yours you like, hide in the bushes and study every stitch, seam and pocket on that thing while scowling like Maggie Simpson’s baby nemesis at it and whoever you’re with or were talking to is like, hello, Lauren, uh, what are you doing?

I always want to order the fun thing but I always order this instead. The fun was made up afterward when my friend texted that he hoped I didn’t use the bathroom cos the owner was busted filming in the bathrooms here last year and I totally did use the bathroom, cool great. We only ate here cos the White Oak diner is donestown now :(. I get grilled tomaotes in lieu of homefries cos I know I’m going to be stealing some of those bad boys anyway, win win win. Re: bathroom filming, lets say he was only caught last year that means he had been filming for years! What a perv.

After band I was fomgry. We went for Afghani food and it was inhaled.

Everyone asks if we have boned like I’m a sex machine who can’t control themselves it’s starting to piss me off. It makes us laugh though. People project their own desires on to you, their guilty dirty consciences because they essentially are saying in the same situation they would be shagging for sure. Bloggers are fantasy life dolls people try to manipulate their own minds about. Don’t think I didn’t study you back. Fuck speaking of study I better go over my notes before the OCAD thing today I almost forgot from being so wrapped up in myself. Mom is almost here, we have to get rolling on photos for my blogiversary party flyer and I guess something cool for this Friday. Do you think if my blog had a dick I would suck it do not answer that.

Bengal kitten head!!! Her name is Meep because she meeps a lot. She followed me upstairs while I finished putting my war paint on and it was truly adorbs. I was like really? All this attention for me?

Chain smile.

In the summer I run nearly naked that’s why I am scowling here. People who don’t know anything about running who try to provide winter running grief relief and say isn’t it better to run when it’s cold because you get hot? Um no! You have to wear infinity leayers when it’s cold. When it’s hot you run out in practically nothing. Way more enjoyable and comfortable that way when you start gushing sweat. When you actually run, you can talk to me about it. (Ok I will stop being mean for the next little while now).

Me the night I dyed my hair I don’t know why I was being so prog rock though.

Thai tea.

When an establishment gives you a free martini cos they suck so hard I will take it. They were super sweethearts however. I told them don’t bother dimming up the lights I like sitting in the dark. I enjoy giving unnecessary extra info to strangers. one time I told a waitress I needed to sit facing a certain way so I could stare at all the people walking through this hallway and asked her if it got a lot of foot traffic and she loved that so fucking much she was like AND I HOPE A LOT OF PEOPLE WALK BY FOR YOU then we were best friends for the duration of my stay at TGIFridays in Niagara Falls the end.

Kingsley is great I want to make a video of him walking around he looks prehistoric long and scary but is actually a humongous suckhole and now we are in love and I am the favoured one he follows me around everywhere you have no idea how good that is for my ego ahhhhhhhhhhh. He’s nestling with my bag cos he doesn’t want me to leave and is visibly upset if I don’t bring an overnight bag with me, he sleeps with anything mine it’s a great 180 from stress puking all the time I think.

BYE FOR NOW! To be continued…