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cowlick out of control, needs to relax. i was wearing my hair up in pebbles updo so many days in a row without washing it some got tangled in a hair elastic and ripped out. it’s growing but looks major stupid during the whole blow dry process.

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just going to breeze through these shots. that’s rabbit.

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it’s safe to say this nail polish shade is a big hit. now i’m back on the baby pink train for the time being.

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primo dining vantage camera point everyone comes out uber talented-seeming when they have a picture like this. guy all you did was sit the camera on the table and press shoot.

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big deal brewmaster what looks like my uncle roger. once he got a little gassed out came the vietnam stories. we were feeling it.

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10.5% oh what a hangover the next day was.

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still riding my one little bar trick wave. the lushes love it. a lot harder to do with these kinds of glasses.

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someone was actually paying attention or pretending to.

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ordered wine straight off the bat to mellow out. beer weekers eyeballing some arrogant twat with a glass of wine, guess how many comments? get over it guys i love winona ryder i also do whatever the fuck i want, are you new?

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this is when the buzzed shows up.

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i even matched my underwear.

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the lighting in that pub is very cozy. sigh fall. here it comes.

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ginger took that one.

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went nuts on the food photos. amped to take more with the pen.

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i have no recollection of what was paired with what. here eat this, drink that. done.

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such a brat.

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8.5% went with the soup. magnif combo and that’s when my taste detection abilities went out the window.

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they ran out of girls gift bags so we let ging take a dude one. wow what a fascinating photograph.

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this is more like it. my eyes were gushing so i had to bring out the garths. i have seasonal allergies. it really sucks.

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i have my moments. i bet you’re getting sick of these photos.

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why is my hair taking so long to get long????

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requisite shining shot.

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bailed on jd party last nite and i’m hung all the same anyway, carry over hangover. went on a date. did i tell you i fired up a new dating profile? i dunno what it is about my pics or the time of year but i’m being inundated with way more dudes this time around. must be photos or looking better or they’re just more desperate or it was always like that i just didn’t notice.

i have periods of being totally fine with being single and then totally angry about it. i’ve become picky as fuck in some areas. if you’re out with a guy and he’s not the one you can just dismiss and be on to the next. you don’t bother to bend your mind to see the possibility of getting to like him and make a life or whatever, well you do but only for a night then you wake up the next day pissed off at how much he sucked. totally seinfelding my way through dates, essentially.

i’m completely tired of men and dating while also completely addicted to the hunt. it IS exhausting. you connect with someone but can’t see them for a week or two cos of conflicting work/life schedules so in-between you go on a couple dates to kill time and test the waters out there, you haven’t forgotten about the first guy you just put him on a shelf til later and see how you fare with others whom without fail completely bring you down. i have no shame about internet dating. look how much it makes sense for me i wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the internet.

i know shit is taking off and about to take off really hard for me so i don’t know if i’ll even have time for a relationship, i make time for one even though there are so many more important things i should be doing for my career right now. i can’t help it i’m just “meant” to have someone around constantly to irritate boss around demand shit from pay me attention dote on me and be doted in return. it’s not difficult but once you’ve been single for awhile it seems to be the case. whoever this lucky bastard to be is must meet every single stipulation i have. stew and i were hanging at mezzrow’s last nite and he said he only bangs “the one” types and i’m pretty much the same. so basically if i sleep with you it’s cos you’ve passed all my tests and i could see us hanging around and becoming in like but then it goes to crap somehow and i get really pissed at this person for somehow not being a mind reader and just knowing that i thought all these nice things about them.

i have a few guys in the wings ready and willing to lock shit down with me but i’m perplexed. sort of a mess. sort of not ready yet even though i keep whining about wanting a boyfriend. do i really? can my next boyfriend handle all that comes with raymicorp?

i quit my job on tuesday. i have a couple more shifts but yeah i just can’t do it anymore. i got tired of looking at rich little chicks and their arrogant asshole arm candy dudes with their father’s credit cards and i realised i could afford to not take that shit anymore. i love that bar and i love everything its done for me i just need to focus on not being hungover all the time plowing through emails with one eye open half-assing my business. it’s time to make a change. clem said if i was working there a year from when i began then i failed. i worked there 8 months. it kinda fucked my summer the summer of all summers to be depressed by. the bar made me fat i am sticking to that excuse. the stress made me fat. the bar stress fat. having a couple shifts a week made it so i couldn’t really get away so i was stuck in the city constantly it felt forcing myself on awful dates to kill time thinking a new relationship would fix my problems.

i wouldn’t mind going back in the fall or winter for a shift or two if they’d have me. i didn’t go out in flames like i thougt i would tom cruise jerry maguire styles. i don’t think half the staff even knows about it yet though who’s to know for sure the gossip fishbowl there is ridiculous as are all bars. i am still in shock about quitting and i worry i might wig out a little over it but for the most part i feel liberated and proud of myself which is why i’ve been hungover two days in a row, celebrating. yes there is finally a reason for it other than “life”.

if you don’t feel the desperation at your heels to achieve then you just won’t bother and before you know it months fly by and you’re not getting any younger or prettier. if i have a safety net then i will not bother working any harder than i barely work already. so i had to do it. i’ve had very few “real” jobs in my life so to me it’s a big deal that i did this meanwhile i have friends who land and ditch jobs like no tomorrow. i’m a loyal person, a lifer, i don’t passively do anything. i know i’ll miss that place. i still have dreams of the hardware store i worked in and like, crave building scott’s fertilizer spreaders, or mixing paint. i could see myself living in the sticks sitting in a parking lot chainsmoking throwing top soil into the trunks of cars no problem. i require full body work stimulation. fuck maybe i should do something for the planet and build houses like sayid in lost somewhere remote for a couple months instead of being a huge selfish prick all the time.

i’ve got some other great news but it’ll have to wait. i need to learn how to sit on things.

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story time gather ’round. some shit has recently come to light. there has been some girl on girl crime against your hero. i’m pretty pissed off but more so generally amused by it, i mean, people talk shit about me a lot i gather, that’s fine and nothing i can do about it other than post attack on the defense. what isn’t fine with me is slander, namely, lying. lying about something that went down involving me and you. what a piece of shit. pathetic. high school. now to be the bigger guy i’ma leave your name and likeness out of this post but you know who you are and you know that i know who you are and it is NOT fucking cool what you said about me (the countless fucking things i can only imagine) and i’m sick of playing nice with you and that shit ends now.

if you lie about raymi the minx that’s a pretty ballsy move. if it gets back to me i can reach hundreds of thousands of people like that. i am only writing about this because it really doesn’t affect me, i am done caring, this is just blog content for me now also, i am addicted to righting wrongs and you fucking blew it.

how do i even begin this? basically, some girl tried desperately to get me to sleep with her. I TURNED HER DOWN respectfully and with honour and courtesy and proper judgment all that chivalry shit. totally WOULD have bagged her but i didn’t because i felt like it would have messed up a lot of things, so i didn’t. what does this girl do? spins a completely different yarn about it. LIES! says i came on to her, begged to sleep with her.

FUCK! THAT!

i think she thought i would go and brag about how i turned her down so she pre-emptively struck. this happened monnnnths ago too so all along our mutual people have been thinking this shit about me like basically look out for raymi she’s a predator.

!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT BEG ANYONE FOR SEX AND IF I WANTED TO FUCK YOU I WOULD HAVE DAY ONE AND BEEN DONE WITH IT YOU FUCKING EASY TARGET HOW DARE YOU LIE ABOUT THIS SHIT! WHAT A FUCKING LOSER LUNATIC DRAMA QUEEN YOU ARE GET A LIFE!

did i tell anyone this happened? i told my roommate and just now i was like do you remember that story i told you guess what this is the other side’s version of it. melodie is LIVID. wow. fuck so am i. such audacity. that’s like some a-hole in a bar you sort of made out with saying he fucked you all over town then everyone believes it. pisssed.

arrogant raymi could and would have laid you months before that even happened not begged your drunken crying mess self to get with me. even your friend tried super hard to get me to fuck you that night. he was like i’m going home with that younger piece of ass i don’t care you can do it too because i (numerous times) was playing nice raymi about it being all “oh i dunno…she’s just really drunk, it’s not a good idea etc etc” acting like i was really confused and on the fence about it to make her not kill herself and have the whole fucking scenario over with. yeah i get it rejection is a bitch and seriously this chick is maje baggable and it would have been an honour to fuck her (now that is hugely debatable) i am still being nice despite you dragging my name through the mud again and again.

you have also dogged me in other ways, and no, as you put it, we are not in fact “good” i merely played nice just to not have to deal with your bullshit, your never-ending dramatic garbage. we would have been good if not for this little information i gleaned as of recent.

you need so much attention you have to totally tell tall tales all the time. get your head checked that isn’t right. you talk way too much shit and you are untrustworthy. thank you for being a giant asshole to me i have never done anything to you. thank you from the bottom of my genuine heart for revealing how awful you are once and for all. i just wish i knew months ago. granted you’re a kid basically so your mentality is a little premature still and you’re not exactly book smart either but still that is unacceptable when i was your age, even younger, i would never make some ridiculous shit up about someone like that.

good luck to you.

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nella bella vegas bag is in the window of capezio right now apparently that’s a big deal in purse shoes designer world i bet my raymi spells is 1000% to do with it. i look fat here but my ass and legs are amazing so whatever. whatever whatever whatever bye. the stupid store that sells the lacy black heathers dress i ought to email them except the majority of their clothing sucks i bet they’d only just give me more clothing when really i just want money. these are the emails i need written for me by the interns i will inevitably require hiring.

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i was still the very new girl here so i was acting like i wasn’t taking a self-timed photo. i was just acting hung which was perfect and not actually an act at all.

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sigh. but who has time to just sit anymore? i asked this guy what he was going to do today (yesterday) and he was like laundry, read, etc. wow, reading, when is the last time i made time for that? i see it like such a waste of time now because i have so many personal projects on the go that i’m behind on i won’t have time to read until i’m like 45. anyway, hi bench.

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cozy collection. love it.

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sans tubes. warning, this post contains “hip”sters. WHEN HIPSTERS VACATION!

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i’m kind of sort of ludicrously hung and sleep-deprived so this might get retarded. ha might. this picture couldn’t be more hipster if there was a fucking hipster in it. oh wait. ok fuck i am not even remotely making sense right now. nothing like a ghettoblaster. nothing like the WORD ghettoblaster.

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stew’s sis was like how many bikinis did you bring??? me: three. unabashedly so. then i turn to stew, how many shirts with wolves did you bring? i think like 8. hahaha. he got this off threadless, look at the one eating flesh. stew is vegetarian.

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first morning, kinda hung/drunk still, pre-coffee, pre-wake n bake. full on skitzed-out. my hair and face just became more and more parkdale throughout the weekend. i didn’t brush my teeth once. it’s the cottage so get over it. apparently it’s good for your teeth to go skid rat once in awhile, natural cleaning? if there’s a dentist out there who reads this thing can i get a confirmation on that?

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trish’s family owns moon basin marina and she’s the only girl in the family so we got the princess cabin, multi-level, two balconies. her cousin was up there too fishing with buddies and he was all pissed and jealous. why do you get the sweet cottage? cos i’m fucking awesome she said. also, shit together. try having that too next time maybe. holy fucking hilarious ginos they came over and got ripped and were like cranked to 11 in terms of everything. so intense. i was lying in bed upstairs totally spent listening to them scream and destroy shit killing bugs by punching them into the table. i came downstairs and almost murdered them.

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that pose is so bad it’s good. stealing it.

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our dynasty bedroom.

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screwdriver coffee cigarettes lets do this.

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everyone on twitter thought that was a stripper pole in a photo i tweeted. yes. there’s a stripper pole at the cottage. get fucked idiots hahahaha. i trashed that room with my clothes ten seconds after taking this. overpacked so much i really need to stop doing that.

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i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i have so many photos of this guy.

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ridiculous fucking looking thing right? our children are going to be like YOU GUYS TALKED ON PHONES LIKE THAT WHY???! THAT’S SO STUUUUPID!!!

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i love it because i appreciate the effort that must have gone into putting a payphone out in the middle of nowhere just so a fisherman could call his wife.

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WHEN HIPSTERS VACATION CONTINUED!

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not mine. should be though.

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i could puke. right now my view is of a garbage truck and ten crazies talking to mars.

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the bratty pack kids. i’m doing eileen (nana) face. i have ten thousand of those jack daniels hats from wakestock. speaking of, the jd 160th ann party is tonite at the drake. i’m only going for a little bit because i know tomorrow will be an utter write-off if i stick around too long not to mention i”m at the drake so fucking much i could be a stool. or propositioned as an escort in the lounge. bahahhaa.

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get over yourself nature.

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oh shit someone somewhere is writing poetry.

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my toe polish is heinous, fixing today.

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such a good crew of people.

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i’ll get stew’s photos never. he’s moving from across the street to trish’s building. so bummed.

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i must be blasted these are horrible poses.

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we hit the casino on our way back to the city and agreed that if we won big we’d just drive straight to canada’s wonderland. i lost 40. she lost 20. the guy at the door who carded us said in my photo ID i look like kat von d (black hair). that guy needs to get out more jesus. also do you know how depressing a casino is on a monday morning before noon?

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dance party time. i had to delete the video it was too obnoxious for existence. some moments are meant to be killed not captured.

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look how boy i can go. this is why bitches be hatin’ cos they’re all dainty and girled-out. i stroll in, they get confused by how turned on they are by this girl who is like a girl, but like a guy, but like an awesome and it makes them feel ordinary because they can’t gender-bend like me. please say that made some semblance of sense just a little aside from how conceited i am.

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now watch as the northern masturbating forest spider awakens to a new day.

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i can’t tell time (which day) anymore based on all my costume changes.

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can i get a hash sponsor please? look how happy i am to be smoking hash. do you know anyone who frowns when they smoke hash? i peeled a chunk off the gino boys’ mound and was like this is mine that i earned for being annoyed by you for the last two hours i need this for my hangover thank you goodnight. always plan ahead amigos. too bad we didn’t get any shrooms then i could come back with 4000 photos of a leaf that mesmerized me and was meaningful. i can own you like that double rainbow.

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trish getting dissed by the dog.

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the water was brilliant.

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hipster splosion! i feel like tattoo artists should or will phase out all that tribal and asian symbols shit and have stuff like this in their books so you can just walk in and be like i’ll have hipster mural #236 please thank you but instead of the unicorn defecating itself i’ll have a shark that’s half bear.

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i was taking a picture of this old school ice cold drinks sign and this baller was all excuse me miss you’re taking pictures of the wrong thing so i go oh yeah well then pose for me baby. love the gold chain.

ok i have to get on some people’s asses now in email land. talk to you soon.

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oh hi there it’s me your friend in the tube flops that pisses everybody off because they don’t have flip flops attached to their feet they can trudge through lake slimy rocks by or be prepared for an aerobics class just like that.

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there i am again. this was when we first arrived. second morning. i am an idiot look at that morning sun or afternoon whatever light.

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betty and veronica wanted at large, crimes: being single. for some reason.

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this is going to be a pathetically dismal update as my laptop is burning hot from picture d/ling so it might conk out on me. which i love. i think i just figured out how to make photos smaller so this won’t happen anymore. i love the requisite hummingbird cottage feeder. reminds me of the homestead cottages the first time i ever saw one. i was all, Por Qué? and they were all, you know spanish? and i was all, i know spanish!? anyway, it fascinated me that you could feed these weird little birds with sugar water like, why? don’t you have better shit to do? that’s my four year old mentality. what a prick eh?

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epic stand still traffic jam it was like the stand or any post-apocalyptic movie kinda eerie like that’s what it would really be like if the system stopped working what’s that movie with shia labeouf and bruce willis? was that another die hard movie? anyway, it starts with traffic then all goes to shit from there.

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hi trish! these aren’t even remotely close to being in order.

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this is when we escaped the traffic i don’t think we even made it to barrie before that happened.

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taking pointers from the party bible of givin’er.

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these kids were referring to trish as the crazy lady cos of her pants. they also thought we were all teenagers. i love kids. they’re so fucking stupid.

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i’m gonna go on a weed break again. i was an eatasaurous rex this weekend. i largely feel like the off button is missing thanks to this garbage.

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became intimately familiar with this stretch of land thanks to whatever bunged up the flow of traffic up ahead.

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one of the first dudes out of their car. wicked. obvs.

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not a bad way to spend a saturday afternoon when everyone else you know is back in the city. probably the best weather ever too.

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on like zero hours sleep from closing up bar nite prior.

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kinda somewhat see ab definition here amongst the flub. as well as my rod stewart cowlick.

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those shorts are wicked tight too. i made another pair of shorts last nite. i have way too many shorts now. i figure it doesn’t matter cos they’ll see me through winter and all the dumb tights i plan to wear with them.

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how irritated does this one make you feel?

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when’s the last time you were caught in something like that? ever? ps. ABS!

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so casual.

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back at it. love these shades. same frame style as this other pair i have that bit the dust.

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holy shit i look tanned. which means i must be hyper-tanned right now cos this is before the suntanning went down.

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ugh. it’s like that zombieland movie (how come i can only relate real life things to movies?) kind of.

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beeeeeeeeeeautiful!

be right back with more. maybe. also, please vote for casie, help get her back in the lead to be virgin’s provocateur so that i can mooch off whatever perks come along with all that. thank you. it will only take a second or two. if i had my shit together enough to battle it out in a contest i’d have made an attempt at this myself, but i don’t have my shit together, so i didn’t. the end.

from my good old friend jeremy

How are you doing? I hope things are well for you and that life is good. I’m very happy that you (unlike the rest of us) get to do the work you dreamed to do as a teenager. I wish I could say the same. I hope that you have the continuing creativity, good luck and skill to do this for a long time and that you understand that you are very lucky and not very many people can say that they had a goal as a teenager and accomplished it. Becky reads your blog and says that you are funny and entertaining. I hope you are well and life is good and that you could get me up to speed on what you have been up to. Tell you brother and mom I said Hi and that i hope they are well. When we were young I knew you had the skill and IQ to become a great writer and that I thought you would write some great book. That fact that you did it online shows that you are even smarter than I thought. Good Luck and keep up the good work.

and then this one from alecia of which we go way back as well in internet years.

RAYMI!

-Alecia
(SCREECHBONE!)

aw.

back in town holy heatwave ugh. i am such a dirty skidrat right now. killed it at the gym now i’m sitting in my fave rickets position in bed playing internet catch up. i am cottage fat. such a great time we had at the moon basin marina it was like being on another planet driving in there, the terrain of the earth all reds and orange rock retarded paths in the forest ahhh sucks to be back but also nice to be back.

if you wanna PARTY ON RAYMI’S DIME this friday SEPT 3 at the mod club for does it offend you? yeah! let me know. went last year with sass and the gang and it was such a fun show. dance city. that was back when i didn’t spazz out at shows i’d just stand around trying and failing miserably at getting drunk but dioyy got me dancing. also i was loaded from all day drinking on the island. this time will be just as great cos you can have my balcony spot with food set up (buy your own damn drinks cheapskate) plus, free show raymi’s guests of honour. how nice am i? just email me raymi@raymitheminx.com your name and how many plus 1’s and there you go on the list. here is a video of me dancing like a lunatic to one of DIOYY’s jams. woah this is from 2 years ago. time flies holy crap.

i haven’t showered since saturday morning. i look beautiful right now.

guess how many chicks want my black dress? hilarious.

i have so many photos to upload from the weekend. it can wait. internet connection in my room is so slow i want to strangle it into submission ughhhhhhhh why is the signal so weak it’s probably from all that p0rn lucas downloads.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4934997546/in/photostream/

my eyes are so bloodshot i feel like i was just swimming in a pool filled with chlorine and nettles. i don’t even know why i’m here now as i haven’t even showered or packed for gbay it’s the avoidance procrastination dance. didn’t get to bed til 5am closed down the bar not even a shit show wind down close pretty mellow not a paper or pipe could be found so we tried to figure out how to make a bong which was impossible so a peace pipe type of contraption was crafted. solid class. ugh i just realised my bike is at the central. did i tell you the right hand break snapped? and all my gears are shot so now it’s a one gear bike i’m back to where i was with my other tank bike. i was gunning across college and felt like my brakes became really in-tune (magically?) all the sudden then snaaaap gone. kinda scary. the left one works fine, i think the left one does the back wheel? you’re welcome for sharing. look at this email i got last nite,

How are ya tonight Oxford girl ?

all the best rich ‘aka’ malcolm xyz , ‘aka’ , well you know.

i can’t tell if i should feel creeped out (don’t) or hyper-flattered or both or annoyed he didn’t say hi. i understand the shyness factor and it being slammed. craig came by also and i barely got to hang but anyway, i’m intrigued. i’m trying to remember everyone who was sitting in that area and i just can’t place a face to that spot. i just see darkness.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4935003942/in/photostream/

i will tell you where this dress is from if you email me. i’m not promoting shit for free anymore also i don’t want everyone to have the same dress as me. not that i expect this dinky store to come at me with free dresses or money i just i dunno, fuck them? i do like to help out my girls though so just write and i’ll tell you but don’t tell the universe. i went to urban behaviour to get my other dress the green one, i wanted it in black but they sent those dresses to orfus road location. um thanks? basically i pick stuff off the rack that no one wears cos it doesn’t hang well or look particularly beautiful while hung so no one can envision it on themself. if you see something with a boxy-ish shape on a hanger, kinda potato sack-like, shifty, it will look good on you if you actually have a figure, hips, curves, etc. raymi tip. i also belted this dress with the teeny belt that came with the other thing i got. this dress comes with a little brooch too. in the store a lady saw me come out, she was with her daughter who was mid-convo and went that is beeeeeeautiful! sold.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4934408143/in/photostream/

strongest beer ever holy shit you guys are in love with this redhead it’s insane. calm it down a little please i’m getting irritated. especially with the omg he’s hot marry him! really? OK! that’s how this works now!? DONE! thank you for deciding my life for me.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4934994970/in/photostream/

hare feast.

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was good. not sufficient enough base for all the beer we were “tasting” though i mean i know you’re supposed to go light but no one ever does. ever.

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beer passport map thing of all the bars/pubs in the city doing beer week.

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my hair looks like a feather. in new orleans it’s going to be so fluffy so fucking fluffy ahaha can’t wait.

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my ass looks like a heaven. nice stretch marks poppin’ from my tan.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4935006624/

can’t talk, working.

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what’s that inxs song, something something wasted? elegantly wasted.

blah ok shower bye saturday here i come. first time FIRST TIME ALL SUMMER going to a fucking cottage. may 2-4 weekend doesn’t count. i told clem it will be my first time going up north all summer isn’t that sad and he goes yes, your life is sad.

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ready for a rant now? here’s an email i received during wakestock about 4 in the morning while i was crashed out in the hotel room of the production manager hahah. i’m actually getting anxious, pre-rant anxious about it cos i haven’t bothered to address hate mail lately. i don’t have the time for it. oh remember the boring days when i had time for negativity? me either. onward, certainly not upward, as this one’s pretty stupid, ignorant and downer…

subject: Oh Lauren (meanwhile she opens with “hey raymi” ugh you don’t know me, don’t call me anything you fucking bitch)

Hey Raymi, (snicker)

I’ve been reading your blog for a really long time and have always been a big fan of Raymi’s. As someone who really relates to your newfound single-hot-child-in-the-city life, I just, well, don’t anymore.

why do people feel compelled to delcare that they are “over” me? dude i don’t even know who you are, like, at all, period. you were beyond invisible to me for years so your disappearing blip to be (yeah right) will go largely (LARGELY) unnoticed. YOU know me. i don’t know you. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.

I know you have “haters”…and I’m not one of those.

ok then what the fuck ARE you then?

But I do think that some of them have a few, if not many, good points.

that you, again, feel compelled to for some reason inform me of like i asked you? do i wake up everyday and proclaim to the world i’m awake now please tell me what to do? does it not look like i carry on fine enough self-sufficiently as is without your/their/anybody’s say? do i need handlers? i am the one providing entertainment (generously) here and i don’t need your fucking feedback about it before the next show goes on. shut the fuck up unless you’re kissing my ass i don’t need your “points” thank you.

I think you’ve really lost touch of what made you cool to begin with.

which is what? sorry girl, i am cool, born cool, will die cool. i am not a poseur like many many others in this city. i am legit and i like what i like if you don’t like it you can stick to your fads that died yesterday, half the shit everyone else signs up for isn’t even fun. punk? is that fun? no! is it “cool”? yes! is it punk of me to punk, punk? do i care about ANY of this shit no i am just typing into my stupid blog that the entire fucking city reads because they know it’s the real deal, they might think i’m a joke but a successful joke, so really who’s the joke on?

You’ve become the opposite of that, the opposite of everything that 20-year old me (or 26-year old me, for that matter) would read about on a somewhat-daily basis and think “fuck yah! fuuuck yah, Raymi’s awesome.” It has nothing to do with who you ‘were’ (Phil, old friends, etc), but about who you are trying to be now, or seem to be now, or whatever.

well since you are the expert here please tell me who or what i am trying to be or was cos i haven’t a fucking clue to be honest. i do not “try” things. i am a DO-ER. not a TRY-ER. and what the fuck are you or who the fuck are you? you’re fucked out of your mind for one to write me such an intense email at 4 o’clock in the morning on a saturday after eyeballing my blog and seething at the bits, fuming from my wakestock (WORKING) weekend. you bought the hype so much you had to write a letter to the fucking editor what a nerd! you are not a doer. you are a commenter. you are a watcher, not an engager. you follow, you don’t lead. you think you have any experience on the matter of passing judgment on another’s life here? go make some waves in the water first before shooting your boring influenceless mouth off.

Every post I read now reminds me of my last year in high school, or first year in University, or worse.

you’re doing an awful lot of comparisons here, are you in love with me or do you want to be me or think you were living parallel to my life single white female style in whatever the fuck bland existence you have/had for yourself? so your party peak was high school/uni, cool story?

The point is, you’re old. It’s not that you look old, or act old, you’re just, well, old news. It’s all been done…and you’re way too late.

then why are my blog hits through the roof then? consistently, through the roof. i bet i get as many as torontoist. tell me ONE blogger in canada who gets more hits, a personal blogger, not a lainey gossip rag or tech bullshit artist blogger, someone who made themself the product/subject, not OTHER subjects. you can’t cos there isn’t one. high traffic = relevancy. numbers do not lie sister. why am i still relevant, hugely. sorry babe but i’m still of the moment and as i grow (age) so does my loyal audience. it’s a show down between me and them of who goes down first. it will obviously be me but as if they’re not going to watch. i will never ever ever disappear, people will never not be interested in what i do next. i am just that good. this is my skill set. have you made yourself famous? did you know you had such a magnetic dynamic personality that you’ll just fucking explode if you don’t come into contact with as many people as possible every goddamn day of your life? casie knows this, she is a force, a fucking force that i am proud of and proud to know. what am i late to, the game that i merely fucking invented? christ you’re lost.

I know you love to snark on “boring” couples, people, whoevers, but honestly, you just seem so pathetic…and angry. Yes, maybe you’re acting out your early 20’s now or ‘living the good life! the fun life! the better-than-your life!’ like I assume you might say, but I think what you’re really living is sad and boring.

good for you person who should have just stopped reading and not written a personal love sonnet on their way out

I mean, Raymi, Wakestock? With Casie Stewart and hair extensions, no less? Come onnn. The worst part is, you’re not even influential anymore.

BAHAHahahaha if i wasn’t influential why did redd hair studio sponsor me those extensions (and another set) AND all my hair styling, dye (expensive), cut, anything? hmm well for a start, they’re a boutique salon and very exclusive, high end, coveted, their celebrity clientele roster is ridiculous. anyway, the point is i walked in there, took some photos playing around with hair extensions with my friend britt, blogged said photos and the next day shannon’s phone blew up with all her friends asking for the same hair extensions. friends whom for years have known about their friend’s salon yet also read my blog. who sold them those hair extensions? raymi did. you see maggie, this is what we call influence. this is just one example of many in which i have (based on my star power alone) influenced others to try out a product or service, not only because i am attracted to it myself and believe in it and give it my raymi’s book club stamp of approval and people depend and rely on my word of honour, i sold that motherfucker cos i’m raymi the fucking minx and that’s simply what i fucking do, whether intentional or not it just happens. i get “copied”, emulated, whatever. there’s hundreds of raymi copy cat blogs out there. i do something to my hair, i buy an outfit, try a new look, it gets copied. i am a trendsetter, not a follower, i am my own person and i’m just blogging it, i don’t care if it’s old or not allowed or “done” or anything i’m a doer, still doing, my thing. and i don’t care what anybody has to say or wonder or analyze (psycho) about it. if people want to latch on to the raymi train then good. if they don’t, so what. write an email to me about it i guess? you know who else sponsored me? wakestock. you’re favourite. you sound obsessed. sorry you weren’t invited.

You’re comic relief. You know how people love reading fake/ shitty celebrity magazines to make themselves feel better about their own lives? That’s why people read your blog.

all celebrities are comic relief, they know this and that’s why they have millions of dollars and you don’t you stupid fucking retard. i know what i’m doing here where is the mystery?????? it’s four in the morning GO TO BED!

The really interesting, cool people in Toronto who do actual cool shit (the SNP’s, the Vaneska’s,the.list.goes.on.), they’re never even on the same party list as you (Wakestock! ha.),

yaaaaaaawn. did you know on snp’s blog she mentioned she was thinking of getting hair extensions cos she’s trying to grow her hair out? do you know she’s in the fashion world and vaneska’s in the dj world and do you know i think they’re great and cool and all that shit i’m contractually blogligated (hahahah) to say, but anyway, you sound like a baby desperate poseur dying to get in on their scene but you’re whining to me about it why? do you even know how the pr media world works in toronto? do you know how many parties i turn down because i don’t have the time or the care for the “scene”? it’s superficial, superfluous and exactly the same shit you were complaining about up there about my “better than you” lifestyle vibe living. you’re an idiot. fuck you pay me is typically my response to people if the party itself doesn’t seem like it’s going to “give” me enough of what i want, namely free booze and food. those are the things i bother going to and not some boring whatever at whatever soon-to-not-be hot bar in the city “thing” going on that everyone goes to because that’s what they’re supposed to do and THAT’S what you think i should be doing or am being “excluded” from? laughable. it’s called choice, maggie. it’s boring, trust me. i have some people who don’t even bother typing a word, not a solid word in an email before the dollar amount. i have trained these advertisers, type it in the fucking subject line THEN explain to me what you want me to do i’m not going to pretend to care about shit on my blog just so everyone thinks i’m cool. that’s what’s “really cool and interesting” to me maggie. money.

let alone the same blogroll.

what does that even mean? what blog roll? god’s blog roll? WE HAVE OUR OWN LIVES AND SCENES THERE ISN’T ONLY ONE SCENE IN THE CITY and there is nothing wrong with jockstock which by the way we had the high-rolliest of times at it was so much fun being treated like celebrities, it was retarded and amazing and obscene and everyone should get an experience like that at least once in their lives. in case you didn’t notice in all the years of jerking off to my blog, i kinda dig sports and am kind of a tomboy myself look how california beach surfy tanned i am does it match anyone else in the fucking scene right now that is or isn’t happening? i also love casie stewart. she’s a bigger man than me cos when i told them about your shitty email and alluded to her being slagged too she cut me off and refused to even give you any fucking airspace. so impressive. i wouldn’t have the power to not demand to know every single thing about that email straight away. she’s a bigger and better person than you will ever be. she gets shit on so fucking much it makes me sick. she hustles her ass to the bone and deserves everything she’s earned. she is a star and an idol. she IS ladyblogga, to the core. she shut your ass down maggie, you are an insect. you got straight dissed. sad face.

There’s no Minx left, not at all.

don’t make me choke laughter.

I guess we’re finally just seeing Lauren

did you just learn that the tooth fairy wasn’t real too? you were seeing lauren all along are you schizophrenic?

…and Raymi was all a facade. What a waste of my 6 years.

OH BOOHOO sob and why didn’t you reply to my angry responses via email you pussy! this is what i said i can’t even remember this is old news to me now. wakestock was a lifetime ago. you’d know that if you were involved in any sort of scene and not just a passive voyeur.

“Wow really, a 4am email, this? Cool!!! It’s a business girl. Thanks. The entire toronto scene is a dead joke anyway I have never been fully immersed in it. Am I not allowed to go away to work for a fucking weekend with friends to a joke festival? Be a bitch much? And I’ve hustled my ass to the bone to be where I am now.”

in summation, this email made me feel claustrophobic. there was just so much wrong about it i felt overwhelmed with all the defensive i was gonna have to be about it because that’s my own biggest mental deficiency, being defensive. i always feel like i need to address shit and clear things up. i like a good fight when i know i’m right.

ok time to re-read the nonsensical, edit, shower, work. my mom thanks you for wasting my time so that i had less time visiting with her and my niece today. asshole.

also, i know “raymi” the facade thereof, is supposed to be “too cool” to have feelings or whatever but on the subject of mean, that email, MEAN. that’s dirty, dawg. i don’t play that way at all. you are a rotten person maggie. your core is gross. good luck with that.

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(warning nerdberts at work who freak over the n00dz here, there’s some noodz here)

I am having an upsetting day, its giving me the push I’ve never had before to tell you how much I admire you. I realize I’m going to come across as- whatever-(crazy stalker) I’ve been reading your blog since Jan 2005 and twitter since 2008 and I want to thank you for being an interesting strong beautiful role model. (Girl crush) I have great personal stories but this email isn’t for that -(I’m not a writer if you couldn’t already tell).
I guess I’m just announcing my presence after so long and thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
(And now I’m relived I got up enough courage to write to you- I’m sure my day will be better)
So much love and happy vibes

-Michelle

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4932019221/

Heyyyy! Sooo don’t ask me HOW, but one day I randomly came across your blog and I gotta say – I absolutely love it. It’s kind of my new obsession. I love the way you write and how you seem to have this ‘fuck it, I don’t really care what you think about me’ attitude. Its refreshing (in a world where all people seem to do is care about is what everyone else thinks….) and admirable…I wish I could be more like that!!

Ashley

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4932617760/

meet tarek!

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meet nella bella. ahh gad dreamy.

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new gym bag. tarek chose it for me. i performed a series of back flips in my head.

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he said my outfit was very chloe. my hair was a rat’s nest from the gym. he also gave me the bag i’m holding. wales bag. every bag is named after a city. how appropriate my grandpa was welsh. tarek is so peppery i love him we are going to hit the town together soon.

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evening bag so so so soft. it matched my dress last night perfectly.

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do you know how fucking much i love the olympus pen? every time i bring it out i’m like why don’t i do this more often??? well now i have a proper bag to protect it in. so there.

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vegan. suede. vegas baby.

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love the royal purple lining. purple is the colour of royalty did you know that?

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don’t think i won’t be back for more.

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went to ginger’s to prepare for toronto beer week launch dinner. historical shit, finally toronto is on the beer week bandwagon. who cares look how cute ging and i are.

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great lighting great camera great muscles. great.

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you’re gonna lose that girl.

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no sex count day 4000. now it’s a thing that i made it a thing ughhhh. my friend yesterday was like why do you feel the need to even explain yourself to the world about it? probably due to all the nudey photos and assumptions based upon them. i feel the weight of the world’s judgments all the time so i’m pre-dodging it?

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aging gracelessly.

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i am so hung today. beer attacked me. strong beer. i never drink beer so every time that i do i am blindsided by hangover and totally shocked by it. for some reason i feel like i can beat hangovers? like i’m so special. ugh.

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sort of making an attempt at modesty. why do i even bother?

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trying to cover up bruises. i walked into a barbell at the gym a couple weeks ago. winner.

oh god those pics took way too long to upload i want to explode.

going away this weekend with trish and stew to gbay so so so pumped i will be very bagged tomorrow cos i’ll be working all nite and it’s a friday biggest bar night of the week come on by. also booked flight for neworfuckingleans i cannot wait. early september.

the stills are playing tonite in the distillery don’t forget that too! 7-8pm.

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it’s getting chillier eh. time to partner up soon to make it through the winter.

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kept shirt on at the gym this time felt way too strippery. the desk girl was nicer to me but it feels forced now. she so knows i dated that guy who has no interest in her. oh well.

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i fear my thighs are getting thundery from all the biking and treadmill. gah!

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cool sideways not. holding the other dress i didn’t wear. maybe i’ll wear it to work tonite i don’t care if it gets trashed it was cheap. like you.

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guys go retarded for socks i don’t care how bitchy the comments of girls are about them i’m not wearing them for you, you stupid cow. go home and put your own damn socks on and see for yourself. they’re also practical i am tried of putting band-aids on my heels everyday. anyway it’s hilarious to me how many times i hear i love your socks or just simple caveman utterances SOCKS! all jock wakestocked-out.

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someone corrected me that this is a nectarine not a peach.

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orgasmface hahaha so unattractive.

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that’s more like it.

Dana: I really hope to be like you you have no idea

Raymi Lauren White
awwwwwwww serious why?

Dana: you dont give a shit about what anyone thinks does or says. your you which is a very kickass fuckin girl which I could only hope of being friends with

Raymi Lauren White
thats flattering and very perceptive of you to notice. all chicks should be this way.

Dana : to be honest I am. I just lack the fun and the happiness and the friends and good life you have and thats what I want haha!! so bad!

Raymi Lauren White
my life in pictures makes everything seem way more glamorous than it is.

Dana McBride : doubtful you’re the fun and fantastic Raymi

Raymi Lauren White
thats true but it isnt always fun and games. it’s a charmed life for sure and i try not to take it for granted. i do crave normalcy.

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