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needs to be vacuumed. it only reaches so far in the house apparently. i’m going to let that french maid guy come over and clean up the rest of the room and film it. someone has to be here with me though. even i know that’s pretty damn crazy. i’m trying hard not to swear anymore. damn in place of the f word is just not linguistically appealing enough for me.

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dear santa. i’m kinda pumped for christmas. it will be my first one single. i imagine i will be hibernating in burlington.

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gross.

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yesterday’s rain. feels like a lifetime ago.

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date from two nites ago got mad at me for how i portrayed him because someone called him a pussy in my comments. big deal you are totally anonymous and nothing i said wasn’t true so what.

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i think he just felt rejected. i told him i was a free bird. it’s not your fault you’re not the one. for me. should people take rejection personally?

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i only want the ones who don’t want me.

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and i don’t take it personally because i know there is a flavour for everyone and i’m not everyone’s but then i fall out of love with them and see them for what they are and go, meh. what was the big deal about that one? some are catches you let slip through your fingers too. you get picky. you accept dying alone.

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an ex said he knew he would die alone i found that sad that someone accepted the fact that they were so fucking stubborn and difficult to live with that no woman would ever tolerate it. i lived with that man in brooklyn and then maine. i left him.

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his father died in the house we lived in in maine. in the den. he moved there to be alone and to die alone. a priest broke in and found the body two weeks later. he died the day i was driving/moving to brooklyn with ward so i was immediately alone in new york city for two weeks while the funeral affairs and family mourning in new england was dealt with. i was eighteen. i wrote terrible poetry in my journal by hand. my time in new york city is like a dream. it is a memory because it wasn’t blogged in length. it is something of lore to my own self. you remember things more when you write them down at least once. or share the stories of. i have many secrets from that time, many stories.

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i called up vice magazine and said i’m in town eddy said come right over. i might have been blow hung. i did some things around the office. i scanned in photos smuggled out of afghanistan by a photographer i forget the name of (jason florio comes to mind if that is even a person or a real name) i still knew how to use a mac at the time because i used one at that woman’s magazine in high school. i fixed all the black and whites, pumping the contrast, brightening shadow this was early photoshop days eddy was like yeah do whatever i felt kind of proud that my “work” would be in the next issue. funny and ironic that the photos of old dudes in the desert street merchants total arabic-looking scenes and then some of that guy who was assassinated who would have been the che guevara of the country and gave ‘em all a good pr spin but then a couple months later the wtc thing happened and we all know how that played out…

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this is how i look without makeup. so naked.

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at that same time my parents were separating. their marriage was finally over. my mom called me a lot sobbing. it affected me but i had to be away from it i had finally had enough i was trying to break free for years. when i eventually left new york in october in time to show up for the diploma ceremony at my high school, my dad had a place above the judges in oakville like a bachelor for the first time in his life. i remember telling him my plan of moving to toronto and he yeah whatevered me like the unstoppable headstrong person i was. funny how fate is. i met fil because of all this a couple years later. i gave my mom my blog address so she wouldn’t be so lonely. regretted it big time for years completely affected how i blogged how i edited myself she would not leave me alone and to this day ugh. i’ve let it go cos everyone’s mom pisses them off on facebook these days welcome to my personal hell.

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gah cocoon!

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the duvet is still not on. i at least put the pillow covers on.

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based on what it looked like before this is totally clean. i haven’t seen my couch in months.

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a thing of art.

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and so after a few missions (returning clothes to designers from fashion shoots) and days of just sitting around blogging from their offices vice invented a bar job for me in their soho store. i had to walk around picking up mix and beer from bodegas hoof it all over once rejected by liquor stores for not having proper id (underage) one time it was super close i went to like 5 and the last one in astor place finally let me buy all the jugs of cheap vodka and gin i remember that day was insane i got my photo taken in a fashion magazine cos of my slammin’ outfit and i also saw sex and the city being filmed during my booze mission people were losing their minds i saw the cougar slut one and the redhead lesbo one i was like what’s the big deal here? i know chicks who claw their eyes out with jealousy when i tell them that story. and the time keira and i met rob pattinson ahhaha. holy christ do my stories ever go on and on and never reach a point it’s worse in person but anyway that was one of my jobs when i lived in new york city then 9/11 happened and the parties went bust we tried maine for awhile then i moved to toronto blah blah etc.

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before. so terrible. teenage runaway.

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totally lame boring photo that’s the clothing rack that made it all possible. i have too many clothes i’m going to bring some “peices” to the raymi blog anniversary party.

please help me win this i want to be toronto’s number one blog!

time to drag my ass to the gym ughhhhhhhhhhhh death lightning cramps.

holy it’s friday the week just totally went time is flying is it for you guys too?

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it’s worth a shot. go here click best blog, go to the blank space and type in raymitheminx.com as your answer please please thank you! this is an actual blog so it should win. just saying.

also my ten year blog anniversary party will be at wrong bar. i want to give you gift bags loaded with ridiculous shit. i am going to bust my ass to make that happen and i am going to do it all in exchange for cool branding/advertising. i want prizes too. i also want a laptop for myself so someone should just give me one to whore out already jesus. there will be bands there will be raffles there will be music. fuck i might even have it catered you cheapskates. it’s going to be big. i’m going to auction off art and give the money to charity i know right so generous. which cause i don’t fucking know, stupid kids who don’t know how to read very good?

it’s pretty much guaranteed i will have an anxiety attack about the time this happens. come watch! late november don’t forget. date to be confirmed.

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friends, meet aladdin mc hammer pants. pants, meet friends. these are not great photo posing pants well maybe if i did a reel like a flip book a succession of shots down the page of me gradually doing a tai chi movement holy gaaaaaaaay.

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dating is killing me. holy shit. like the “nite’s off” when i’m not eating pork terrine stuffed mussels rabbit whatever obnoxious shit bring it on i have to stay in i think otherwise i’m out on a date eating Pâté and other ludicrous shit and tons of champagne wine martinis this excessive lifestyle is doing a number but then how do i have a life when your life becomes your working life does that make sense? when you are a walking living breathing reviewing machine there is never a time off. so i left my camera at home last nite.

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i am totally going to be insane the next few days aunt flo is on the doorstep i feel like a fucking cow i’ve broken out so bloated and i have to somehow suck it all in for stripper exercise classes and more high-end cuisine. i am chugging water and nothing but until my next meal. ok water and espresso.

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i have no idea how to put a duvet on by myself (especially not whilst in a prosecco tequila cava martini malbec weed cyclone) well i know how i just can’t do it it’s like my one thing i pretend i can’t do because i haaaaaate doing it i will make lucas do it when he gets home. i didn’t want to drink that much but date insisted we were totally pissing contest all over the place he was like you look like you can drink i said oh yeah i can put ‘em away we have a shot i drink it nice and slow and casual no problem he had a little issue with his. i was the man. drew barrymore in charlies angels two pounding shots in that blizzardy lodge with a ruskie. he challenged me, i never back down. we did another shot later on at venue two. after watching people pound shots for eight months and serving people said shots and maybe doing some at the bar i dunno, not feeling drinking or shots, not that kind of person. challenge me and i will accept. i am very competitive.

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so i slept duvet cover-less is the moral of that last caption.

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stop hammer time.

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that was my first time hanging out in the four seasons bar. i will not exhaust you with all the opinions i have on the place nor the clientele. date is like you got a big chip on your shoulder. yes i do. and i’m very emotional. hahaha. he said that some people in there “got something to show” that being money. i demanded to pay because the pissing contest stakes were raised so high, he got the tab at panorama but my bill was bigger and of course i tipped huge i came back from the atm with a stack of money totally gunned and was grinning like a warlock my way thru the bar and all the hot money men looking at me date asks why i was smiling you know you just get a thought to yourself and you can’t stop finding it hilarious even though it’s not really. i think i was just mentally assuaging the money guilt i felt instantly upon extracting such a huge amount from the machine so i told myself to relax i get everything for free it’s fine it’s ok to spend money just enjoy it. money makes people crazy eh?

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hotel ground zero inflated prices also makes you crazy. then you’re like whatever i’m already here halfway deep may as well keep going.

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this is exactly like a daquiri except martini sized and 18 dollars and takes you two seconds to guzzle.

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edamame and charcuterie.

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i look like ugh i don’t even know anymore i hate how i look right now.

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see what i mean about the pants? i didn’t vamp because it was earlier on in the date and i could tell he already had his back up about my blogging and everything but they can actually be pretty sleek and make the small of my back look wild.

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guy wouldn’t let me play restaurant critic either. fine fine i wasn’t even planning on it but then i was like wait, why not? everything was good, happy? the end. we also went for chinese for last call and that’s the part i regret even though it was so. good. we ate eleven things. courses. date’s mind was blown by that excess. i am meeting a lot of control freak men lately, restricting themselves during the week. guess i have to start doing that too. i try and usually have a string of really healthy meals or no meals between rich meals and then punish myself at the gym. do you want to trade lives for a week? nahh i can’t stand offices or be anywhere close to responsible enough for a 9-5 that’s why i started blogging.

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greetings people. you know you’ve “made it” when you get a locks sponsorship. these people at redd hair studio have won my heart and hair. it’s about time i gave you a virtual tour of the place. let us begin.

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abstract photo i entitle, “still modern life”. i finally cleaned my hit by a tsunami sty of a room today, yes that sheet is clean its just been folded up for a century. in the handful of times i’ve been to redd to have my roots did tray (tracey)(tray is more gangster i overheard trish call her that today so i’m gonna start calling my mom tray cos her name is also tracey you’re welcome for sharing) always chastises me for not bringing my extensions fiiiiiiiine but she has a point. the heat of the summer has just made it impossible to enjoy and exist with long hair especially when half of it isn’t growing out of your scalp and separating away from your head.

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showed up late with wet hair. i am always late i hate that it’s so disrespectful. so i’m late and then i have this explosion of nonsense coming out of me. i ask trish if we had met before and she’s like no i said that’s right i’m pretty sure you’d remember this, gesture to self.

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tray. ok i can’t do it i have to call you tracey. she is amazing. shannon has a keeper.

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curling begins.

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accidental shot but i like how arty it turned out. that place is cozy. cozy atmosphere on a shitty rainy day is very important to me. i didn’t want to leave.

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when i was posing out front for photos a hot tall stylish chick walked by and said i love your leggings. thanks me too. navy blue cotton maybe some wool in there i should look at the tag. rain boots from zellers during wakestock.

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a nice camera can make anything look amazing and interesting.

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this is where the camera lives.

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i have misplaced one of the pink extensions. dad i think i left it in your bathroom did i? we evened out the other side of my head with hot red very aguilera.

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very good quality hair. not cheap but if you call and say you saw raymi’s hair post you never know…

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why can’t i just wake up with curly hair siiiiiiiigh.

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this photo is extra pretty to me cos of tracey’s flash of silver pearl bracelet and my sleeping beauty head profile.

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tracey wants to do shots of me in this thing. like seriously going out on the town in a wig.

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love this little nook.

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tracey stuck her mom and her friend in here last week when they came in for a cut they were puttering around like little lost old confused people it was pretty cute. they waited patiently for my roots to be done.

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pahaha my crazy eyeball.

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getting there. i look like jamie‘s kate moss mannequin.

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eep tmi face photo. feh. salon lighting is never kind to eyebags.

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i love my nails so much not one swarovski crystal has come off and i even did the dishes today and as a bonus when i attempt to fanatically obsessively pick my ears i can’t because the jewels make it hard to ok you don’t want to hear anymore.

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happy.

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with my purple oversized raybans and this hair i looked incognito on my walk home.

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that’s right. soak it all in.

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i look like a lionness mermaid porn star.

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that’s more like it.

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i really do feel like i’m incognito with this mop like if i wanted to i could play the whole damn part like other girls who take this hair seriously for years and have been using it to their advantage. i do feel a bit of a fraud but oh so what.

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remember these?

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maybe next time i will actually dress the part. probably not though.

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act your age not your shoe size. if everyone went by those rules cougars wouldn’t exist nor playboys. life would suck.

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ballin’.

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tracey gives good head (massage).

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maybe i’ll just come hang out one day and blog. i love this space.

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can’t wait to have my own place.

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believe it or not this wasn’t even MY idea. man i get a bad rep.

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reading station.

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in a hurry? get your makeup did. they are so laid back there and no bullshit i really lucked out. you can even do your own nails while you wait shannon has an epic collection of polishes.

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holy hell i’m looking juicy that’s an unfortunate pose for those pants. well it got the attention of that miles hotter than me chick so whatever.

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i can haz be spokesperson doyyyye.

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that’s 1187 king street right beside shoeless joe’s. 416-530-7717.

ok enough about me look at what redd did for melodie.

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i arrive late of course following nails appt. to oversee the operation and exhale a shit ton of gossip stress and camera.

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meanwhile calm and cool as a cuke.

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going copper.

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melodie loved tracey so much she said she’ll go back. tracey actually listens, doesn’t go ahead on her own accord and give the opposite of what you want which is important.

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aww and she got me a coffee just the way i like it but drank it herself instead of her own. it’s ok though cos i was jacked on 200 cups already by that point. she said a cop saw her on the sidewalk biking with two cups oops. he probably had a case of donuts in his cruiser is all, mel.

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me posing with the wales bag i “gave” melodie for her books and records and other weird shit she carries around with her. pretty sharp.

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wonder what my next nella bella bag will be.

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then i skittered off to the gym leaving melodie and tracey to their own hair model photoshoot devices. i’m such a control freak with photos a little it’s kind of a relief to just let other people loose to do their own thing and i am fascinated by the results. totally different to what i would have done. love it.

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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

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i love this one it’s so weird and like, really?

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that streak is the best.

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striking. blam.

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my favourite of all.

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so youth.

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not exactly copper but it’s a lot richer, more red. who cares looks awesome and the greys are gone which melodie is sad about what????????

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if i was pretty enough i’d have a retarded haircut too there is no way i can pull this off tried it once before and i got laid like never. well not as much as i had of liked.

ok i’m cramping hard and have to get ready for a fancy date thank god i blew a load at f21 yesterday.

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fubar 2 after party post part two. actual photos of party this time and not just us getting trashed and dressed for the party photos whoops even though that was adorable and shitty.

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continuation from home party traveling shit show right on in i think we were clocked at 8 out of 10 for give’ring waaaaaay ahead of everybody else but they weren’t too far behind. there’s a section in the give’r book about benders. that book makes me laugh my brains out you need to get a copy.

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christ i looked wrecked. last week was murder. that wasn’t even my beer it was just a prop. I’M WORKING HERE PEOPLE. haha just kidding. no i’m not. just kidding. just kidding.

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this guy is on my facebook now so i can’t make fun of him but i know i was being a little bit bitchy SORRY my personality was part of my being in character for the evening. people were just crazy excited for terry and deaner and i was being smug. i swear at one point he told me to go fuck myself cos i was pretending not to hear him when he was talking to me as i was taking photos of piles of empties he finally had enough of my passive aggression. what he was like can i cum on your facebook and dump a load in your inbox? no laughs. i told him never fucking say that ever again. i have high taste and comedic standards. yeah it’s funny if you pull it off in character, but you didn’t, also you need gum stop hot breathing all over me.

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aw matching socks.

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melodie’s eye is closed cos i punched it. nah nah she’s probably just gassed.

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fashions this night were off the chain. pretty much what wrong bar had in mind when they decided to get invented that’s how i feel.

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it was a couple days after having my hair did like borderline could shower but then melodie was like it’s a fubar party you gotta go skid. fine but i’m raymiii i can’t look like garbage i have to look elite and stand out not skid and fit in. skid won in the end. it always fucking does.

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seeing the fancies show up and get turned away or diva out on their phones because they had to wait ten minutes longer was extremely enjoyable from my side of the rope. i don’t even smoke you just can’t stay inside a bar for hours and hours on end you go mental.

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aw i feel like hugging this guy right now.

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i think this is called dancing.

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if i didn’t know melodie i think i would be intimidated by her or out-alpha female her which is what’s going on already in our household so i don’t know what the fuck i’m talking about. choose your battles wisely roommates out there. ooh tongue in cheek guide to roommates note to self. i’ll write it stick it on the fridge and in big red sharpie write I’M MOVING OUT atop hahehheh.

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my battery didn’t charge fully so half these shots are blurry which is completely in-theme with how poor my bar vision is anyway.

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take that! pretentious! ooh negative space great composition what is this LNP? oh wait i just noticed my feet up there on the left.

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time to show ‘em how it’s done babe.

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oh man she’s going to love this one.

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IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR ONE FUCKING PICTURE OF ME NOT BLURRED OUT???

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oh my god get the hell out of the way hot ginger girl.

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ok you rule but thanks for making way for my in-between dance move pose what the hell is going on over there i am making the dumbest most embarrassed face right now as i type this aghh brutal i am dying alone forever.

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adorable floppy bunny rabbit hair sculpture makes up for it there oh but of course the shot is blurry and some girl is in the way BOTH THINGS I LOVE AT ONCE AWESOME.

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how is this even a pose either? check that girl’s boots. also check that nerd.

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more pretention. what was wrong bar before it was wrong bar you usually see these floors in old school pharmacies or something in the city. apartment foyers. same floor at lakeview.

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wow that hair’s getting pretty skidly.

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never-ending line-up.

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this is what happens when there’s a mirror in the stall and a camera around your neck.

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love the lighting.

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singles called they said what’s up.

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waaaasted. skid committal right down to the fruit of the looms.

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it’s our neighbourhood cowboy i forget the name of constantly. remember the time brosz7 got gum in my hair this guy was horrified as a fellow long hair at the time. i’ll resurface that post.

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these require no captions.

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karaoke time and raymi gets wicked nervous. the video of me singing is so large i need a usb thinger to take it off my laptop, too big for yousendit ughhhhhhhh but clearly it was an awesome performance as it made eye weekly (a photo) you have to see to get a feel of what this night was all about. you can see my name at the top of the list i went first after the host and then it was done hahhaa.

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i can’t believe they had my song too. melodie was like are you prepared for karaoke? THERE’S KARAOKE? yes metal karaoke. me, crapping pants, uh the only song i know well is enter sandman and they probably only have obscure death metal fucccck. so then when i saw it on the list i had a triple anxiety attack.

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gaaaaaaaaaaaah. i told everyone i was nervous then after the fact all these chicks babes bros were like what the hell is wrong with you that was amazing. everything is wrong with me.

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woooooh getting party nostalgic contact vibes like when you talk about E or coke.

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also i glimpsed this thumbnail. i know right. we skipped out on a party with him and cindy and reg last nite i am kinda regretting it but i feel amazing today, not hungover, i cleaned my room up finally i am buzzin’ off that.

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love random crowd shots so much to look at later on all the things you missed in real time.

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lucas was hosed and the battery was dying this is at the end of the nite the other one we got is better and a framer as skidfanie says.

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devil horns in there priceless.

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jogging pants lol.

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tron funkin blow.

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whats with the teeth guys did you plan it? reg is a giant i keep forgetting that.

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deaner was sitting on the other side of the room speaking french with his wig on his knee i sat there aloof as possible mashed out of my gourd.

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giver-ing.

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remember bars were open til 4am. that’s a lot. if we were like new york city i think all of my friends would be fucking dead.

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i have that book! too cool to ask them to sign it though. too shy. hanging with them is good enough.

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full leather body catsuit fuckin right.

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green room time.

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water under my arm that can’t be a good sign.

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i don’t even know what stupid drink i was drinking anymore. gasoline?

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i’m trying to remember where that shirt came from. i think it was casie‘s.

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please please no more party.

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ok more.

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aaand last one.

a tricked out stretch limo suv driver asked if i wanted a ride home when i was biking away from this at 4 in the morning. dude please tell me you realize how fucking strange and creepy it is to be asking me this. pass.

i have so much to talk about and so much i can’t talk about it’s like being a balloon someone has pinned between their thumb and finger, easy to let some air seep out but you know you shouldn’t but then you do it anyway and then the balloon is flflflfppppflflppp how do you type a balloon-deflating sound? anyway i read my lines with carly filmed them and sent the video off to wherever on the road is filming. i would jump over a fucking car if i got a part. tear a phonebook in half.

i picked up my last paycheque from central yesterday after the gym after a stressful phonecall after my long day of orchestrating myself around the city. clem was at the bar, gave me some legal advice, told me i was stupid a bunch (he’s in a dark place) i was like wow so glad i came by hahaha then he started getting on my nerves and i asked, “hey are you in a dark place?” yes he says then starts to go on about it i cut him off and say good, i hope it’s the darkest yet, so dark, like a cavernous cave…he apologized, jokingly (we don’t bullshit each other, our relationship is firey, challenging, he is always playing father advice with me and i let him think i’m actually dumber than i am and am so bowled over by his big mouth sometimes that i can’t even remember what it was i was going to say) asked if i was going to be leaving in a bad mood i said no i’m going to be biking away smiling knowing that black cloud is behind me. there’s a drill sargeant staff meeting retreat coming up i’m invited to. bootcamp. can you guys picture me doing that? how fast do you think i get lippy? oh man i can’t wait to see teppei get screamed in the fucking face worth it alone for that and the exercise.

i caved and went on a date last nite. well, i make tentative plans for a date then i forget about it then i check my messages then i’m like yeah sure i don’t mind some company i’ll just get this guy to watch me eat and he’ll like me so much he’ll pay for it maybe if not who cares i’m going out to eat anyway. so he suggests 751 i say ew so ghetto do they even have food there i’m a princess no way he asks about squirrely’s i say sure done and done.

i have never been checked out so much before in a night. i dunno what it was but it was retarded and every single guy was fucking hot as hell and here i am on a date and kind of trapped in the corner playing demure and humble then all out conceited. i wasn’t even the one pointing it out the date was he would not let one single guy walk passed without making fun of it, total jealousy defense mechanism. there was a guy there i saw straight off the bat i wanted to approach but i didn’t, he was on the back patio who kows who was out ther but it was like professor corduroy jacket nite or something. hottt.

we think it was my hair or where i was sitting. he took a picture of me to further investigate what exactly it is about me that made guys triple take. i am not fucking joking. extra unnecessary trips to the bathroom even and i didn’t even make an effort last nite just changed out of my gym clothes into this crap. i bet it was the venue. date goes, i’m sorry but i just have to tell you this don’t take it the wrong way, i’ve been out with many many hot women before but never never have i been with one where EVERY SINGLE GUY in the room falls all over themselves when they walk by. date was getting sized up like crazy. guess i’m going back to squirrely’s very fucking soon haha.

probably because they got the side ponytail vantage point with light shining down on me like a cherub and my bright platinum angel hair fuck i know i know open up the window and let some of the arrogant out please. he made it a thing i was willing to let it go. then bartender i picked up once who is still fond of me came in and had his back to us on a date or something and i told my date all about him and the girl he was talking to was clearly in lust so he goes out to smoke eventually not knowing i’ve been watching him my date goes down to bathroom i walk out alone and the girl on date with bartender is RIGHT on my fucking heels like red alert hot blonde is going to be alone on a sidewalk with my man it made me cringe for her a little cos i know she saw me pat him on the arm and old raymi would have violently hit the roof over that for sure so he’s standing there done his smoke asking me what i’m up to and i don’t think he knew i was out on a date not that i would hide it but i had that one-up of being alone in my favour which always makes one more appealing. i say i’m about to get stoned i acknowledge her she makes a face and says pointedly I’LL BE INSIDE leaves we say our hello whatevers in private and he goes back in. she ran out in her t-shirt (it was freezing she was shivering and immediately starts hugging herself) just to make sure he wouldn’t be alone with me, for no reason i mean she had absolutely no decoy excuse to be out there like I HEARD THE SKY IS FALLING oh hey hi there who’s this? if i have suspicions about people secretly making out you better believe i have a damn good excuse to be spying up on ‘em in case they’re actually just talking about oatmeal. in short, that chick ended up looking very stupid. and jealous.

we had a good pow wow business chat. very productive. then we went to mitzi’s for half price nachos. as my agent, you hereby are no longer allowed to ever let me eat nachos again (also get that glorified carsalesman back-links selling slimeball to pay up already before i start dragging his name through the mud just for fun) and from all the fine dining eating out i do, will be doing ugh, i am just never going to be a whip ever again. my excessive lifestyle is getting the better of me. i might join the liberty village gym despite being all paid up at mine across town and can now work out for free til march. i hear liberty village gym is a mega pick up joint.

part of yesterday’s stress/drama was some gossip/hearsay shit talk about me around the scene. sigh. i make a point to do my own thing, have for years, but i STILL get snotty catty remarks and when i DO play along, i get snotty catty remarks. don’t hate the playa hate the game baby. or just play it bettah.

my personal business plan/structure is BE a celebrity, think celebrity, make yourself famous, get people obsessed and addicted NOT go celebrity coattail bandwagon jumping. did you see me at any tiff party/event aside from fubar? (which doesn’t count cos it’s skid central) i don’t feel like partying and gushing over other people’s (celeb’s) successes a path to success unless it is your job to be news correspondent whatever but still they’re the star and you, aren’t. i also hate groupies. how over-saturated are blogs/twitter feeds right now with tiff this tiff that blah bla bla so. boring. tons of coverage out there and that’s fine we’re all in the same social media league here, we run in the same circuit and this is our city it’s all available to us but it also boils down to choice. do i choose to be there for it? no. i prefer to cover over things, i always have and always will. be different. if i was actually AT these events with you you’d be shooting me dirty looks and snotty above it faces but instead, at my absence, you talk shit. raymi does this raymi does that wah wah wah what do you fucking care? my not being there doesn’t mean i think i’m above it, i just choose to put my time to better more important (IMO) and productive use, you got it all covered by my peers, yourself included, i’ll just go back to working on myself if it pleases you. this is why my fanbase like me, i am always doing something different and why should i expect someone in omaha who has been reading me for years to give a fuck about me going to movie after parties, how do they relate to that content? i mean fine sure anything i do i have the golden touch they love it i can cover someone eating an apple and make it fascinating but i think we’ve all seen me partying enough, i need a timeout and my hangovers last for days.

how dangerous is it to let a nerdy harmless-looking fetishist cross-dressing french maid come over to do all your laundry and clean your bedroom?

oh my where did the time go?

meet MoSheTa Salon & Spa ready for a mani/pedi? don’t you hate assholes who say that? something about older women regressing to baby speak really makes my skin crawl. appys too. barrrrf. a little bg info as to why i can all the sudden quit a job then plunge immediately into high-rolling lifestyle is sites like fabfind exist. they’re like an aggregate website pooling all these products, services, businesses in the city you can cruise through for deals and they send out an email blast (only) once a day giving you a head’s up on specials sales cheap shit you get the point and mosheta is one of the many businesses a part of that. also, mosheta loved me so much which equals love to you guys too so for the next week you can get 20% off any service they offer if you drop my name. ok lets do this i haven’t had a pedicure since i was 20 years old and my mom had to force it on me.

first, this woodland elf needs an outfit. is it hot is it cold? i wanted to wear tights and super short shorts but i remembered i was getting my feet did so that wouldn’t work.

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so i went the route of gap ad pretentious preppy rich girl d-bag.

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love the fuchsia pink girly theme and the graffiti font makes me nostalgic for that shitty catholic high school i went to for a year before i went to public high school.

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then the mania hit me what do i want what do i want??? the stand on the right is for sale, the display to the left is what you choose from. i love that convenience, if you dig your shade enough just buy a bottle of it.

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do i go for my regular baby soft pink or do i go wild?

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the even temper of my outfit requires something out there. next time i’m getting minx nails. dunno why i spaced on that so hard yesterday? i want plaid nails.

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i was a nice guy and removed my polish at home. not on my toes though. don’t get greedy mosheta.

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i already own my favourite shade of pink making it impossible to settle on another pink cos there are so many to choose from and i felt like it would be barely noticeable anyway…so hard.

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alright i’ll give summer one last hurrah.

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you’re the wiener.

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to the back with ya.

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the guy who did the mural spelled vajazzle wrong (how can you spell an already made up word wrong? well i guess that’s exactly how) but hello this place vajazzles!

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cozy and sumptuous ahhhhhhhh here i come.

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fashion television was on no matter i was spazzing on my phone and talking about myself like crazy. yesterday was supposed to be relaxing more like complete opposite. so much drama. being an entrepreneur? your own boss essentially can get a little overwhelming and intense especially when things pile up. the dreamer in me is whining because now it’s crunch time and i have to be organized, something my entire life i’ve avoided being. i am a child.

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plunge. these little foot baths have lights that turn disco colours and have jets like your feet were invited to a hot tub party you weren’t, who gets jealous of their own feet is that even possible to be jealous of a part of your body, jealous of yourself? woah time to get stoned a door in my brain just opened like when i learned about guy gold diggers recently. remind me to discuss that.

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this makes me crave listerine. ew.

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polish removal.

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me and all my friends.

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you can judge a place based on their coffee. this place gets an A+. showed melodie my pics when i went over to redd to oversee her hair job afterward and she said oooh that’s a good cup of coffee. she’s a coffee snob so she is an expert. i am too, espresso-based coffee yes please.

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terry the owner is hilarious, laid back, eccentric, good vibe off him AND it was actually his birthday yesterday. i gave him my camera and said excuse me can you take my picture then demanded a few more, didn’t know he was the owner at this point but i had a feeling he might be. i like when owners try to trick you and play meek servant as they bring you your coffee. nice try there terry. he played along all the same, i said sorry, i’m very bossy and demanding he’s all what are the photos for and then i sucked all the air out of the room, boy, do i have a story for you….

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the salon is very cozy. cozy modern if there’s a thing that’s it.

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yeah. so glad i didn’t wear tights.

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when she slapped my legs i pretended she really hurt me then i felt bad cos she immediately blubbered apologies. come on look at me obviously i am fucking with you.

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this part is hard for the hyper spazzes. harder to type out stupid text messages. ‘scuse me can you press shift for me thanks.

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it looks like i am being tortured.

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my toes look lovely, the final product i mean.

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so then i wanted this colour for my hands but manicurist suggested gel nails instead, last way longer.

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oh great now i have to decide all over again. i am impulsive. i figure things out right away or i take aaaaaaaages settling. there is no middle ground. i suffer so.

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they were out of the gel shade similar to the china glaze colour i wanted. balls.

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still looking. wasting the world’s time one minute at a time.

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ooooooh i should have chosen that.

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or that. so easter.

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either there was a miscommunication or i was hallucinating but i was under the impression by now that i was getting extensions so i settled on this simple clear sparkle polish then my girl said no extensions once she was already painting. it wasn’t wild enough so i said ok now you have to give me swarovski crystals otherwise no one will know i got a manicure. this is why i never get manicures i see it as a waste of money why bother i can just do it myself? i think it’s one part cheap but mostly i don’t know how to relax properly. it’s the experience and the pampering that’s also the point of the experience.

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this is my relax face.

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my hair was fluffy. jordaan liked the colour he tried to steal me away from redd. turns out he knows shannon. everyone know everyone in hair world. i wonder if there’ll be a hair reality show fuck there’s so much beef and drama between salons.

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nice and clean and tidy though coulda just did that at home myself. needs more bling.

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i have nice hands except for my crooked pinkies.

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my baby toes are horned from years of dance.

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more choices oh god.

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instead of going retarded i wanted a theme, baby colours. pink blue and yellow.

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i guess this is what they vajazzle you with too?

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i’m looking pretty curvy these days. obscene. don’t worry it won’t last. IT FUCKING BETTER NOT. apparently bigger is in now anyway. collective phewf.

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the girl at the end was getting minx nails. you’d think that company would be ringing me up already seeing as we have a similar brand name.

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speaks to my miniatures fetish. so darling.

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does this vicarious blog post make it feel like you are getting a manicure right now?

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the flower matches the princess headphones i bought last week.

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dry lights. i hope these didn’t tan my hands they’re getting old enough looking as is you’re never supposed to get sunlight on your hands. a lady’s hands and neck age her big time i mean you can always tell age by these things so treat them well, baby them, or hide them like crazy. my hands are super tanned from cycling this summer.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4992885301/in/photostream/

jordaan took these. everyone was having fun with the olympus pen i didn’t even have to ask anymore thanks guys for doing that.

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these photos remind me of that luxirare site.

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see way too much information photos plus uv lighting looking at my hands right now in real life they do not look that leathery thank god.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4993493474/in/photostream/

i’m talking on the phone here. my phone would just not shut up yesterday holy shit IT’S ALL HAPPENING MAN.

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jordaan thought that was a mark ryden tattoo. no it’s a blythe doll. but do you know who mark ryden is? yes duhhhhhhhh. i scored some maje cool points what else is new.

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wow i’m tall sometimes.

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sooo happy.

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oh my god my job is excruciating.

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top coat.

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hope i don’t overkill you in other posts with these babes.

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matches my bracelet.

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it’s been a night and morning later and not one crystal has come off. i did swarovskis before and they all popped off, you need someone to do it for you.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4992890155/in/photostream/

made everyone go out for a photo (bossy and demanding) and saw this kid. now that’s a commitment to your look, he’s too young to have a career and that hair isn’t cheap so i assume every paycheck goes straight to his clothes and hair. awesome.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4992890453/

i want pink streaks too.

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mosheta is right by shanghai cowgirl. i was late and a creature of habit and i have to know precisely where everything is located, didn’t have time to check the address on my way out the door so i just remembered shanghai and this pink sign, impossible to miss.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4993498170/in/photostream/

i bet my niece would love to have her nails like this. i’m going to spoil the hell out of her on her birthday this year. turning twelve. time fliiiiiiies.

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come on now don’t be shy.

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getting there.

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thanks guys for the vip treatment i wouldn’t settle for anything less. look how funny i look against their uniforms. so completely opposite hilarious contrast. so if you want all what you saw go say raymi sent you and they’ll treat you right. if you can’t make it this week for the raymi special you can go through fabfind and print out a coupon/discount voucher instead.

and yes in answer to the question you were wondering, i AM awesome.

THANKS BYE!

what’s next? you’ll see…

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i love the city when i hit exhibition station i remember how awesome life is here. momentarily at least.

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good thing i look like a teenager when i longboard so gross men leave me alone. jailbait!

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squint!

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sigh i miss oakville streets.

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look how anal my dad is, the lawn is perfect.

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that’s the house i watch across the street.

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then i took off for awhile to board around parking lots. left my board there for next visit.

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bye mom.

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in serious need (want) of new gym attire.

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be right back today is all about me.

mani/pedi, gym, hair extensions. also no date/nite plans i’ve decided to stop planning that shit, just see where life takes me. i am fulfilled.