ready for round two?

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i look like the pied piper.

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i spy melodie.

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soooo pretty.

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this is where i belong.

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melodie’s wall of tea.

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totally where she belongs. this is her shangri la.

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from another vantage point.

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what does greedy guts want now?

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i selected the grand marnier chocolate truffle because i was getting the DTs bad.

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i bought four of these for my niece’s birthday a couple years ago. not cheap.

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ridiculous. some on my face too.

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melodie have some. look how close i am at licking that piece off my mouth it’s driving me nuts to look at it.

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oh yeah baby.

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don’t worry was told about the little piece on my face but only of course after enough photos were taken with it on my face ugh.

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i said thank you and he goes NO THANK YOU guess it’s not everyday you see two girls one truffle feeding up in there eh boy? pretty funny he’s totally blushing too aw.

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this way.

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serious face.

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darling.

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lucas lost his mind when he saw these pictures. that’s what you get for partying. missing out. i’ll bring him next time.

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my face feels so oily looking at this photo.

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waiting for my meat i made the boys really nervous and they couldn’t get the right one i asked for cut me like two different kinds. hot quebec genoa salami i get it every time. make a note of it. the hotter and nuttier and older the better.

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hahahha awesome hi humble.

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ridiculous stuff everywhere. could spend hours browsing. melodie was glad we had minimum time otherwise she would have spent hours in there.

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seriously what is that shit i dunno but i want it.

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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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let me get a better look here. ok. wasn’t hallucinating. it’s ok because it’s imported, expensive?

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old school in the new world.

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black on black figs look awesome. melodie had one.

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i want to change it to 8 days a week. beatle joke!

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melodie’s take.

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more legs.

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for days.

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what a nutcase. sometimes i don’t even have words for myself. what is going on over there don’t you want to know that person with really high hair?

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sell it baby.

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melodie heckled liar you don’t eat chips. what it was the closest piece of merchandise.

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i look hot and fat and bloated. so pumped for flity girl fitness today. i worked out all weekend long drank very little i feel like a switch went off in my head finally i am ready to own skinny again. do you know what it’s like to be fat with a six pack? i do!

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i don’t eat that either. melodie did.

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i was given a bar of the raspberries and dark chocolate one, it comes with a love poem i was going to save it for a date or something, someone i love, and loves me but there is NOOOOOO ONE so i ate half of it and told melodie to hide the other half in her bedroom. i started to read the poem aloud in the kitchen but then got annoyed and jammed a thumbtack into it into the corkboard and stormed out frustrated instead and we went for a glass of wine.

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was told to go easy in cheese boutique as this raymi goodie bag was in store for me on our way out!!!

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ethical bags so cute.

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afrim begins…

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sorry you’re blinking here but i look adorable.

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every time we chat it’s when i am being handed some ridiculous piece of cheese or meat that i am about to consume so i have tunnel vision for it thus canceling out anything you have to say or here’s a bag of stuff specially selected for me as if i am listening.

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i look like stephanie tanner when she had to get glasses and hated life. mel tried these on and was blown away by how strong the magnification is. apparently i am blind. she said to lucas hey did you know lauren needs glasses? i said they correct stoner eyes. i don’t want to get my eyes checked i’m too young waaaah.

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that pasta he’s holding is what legit italians use for macaroni like it’s no big deal and cheese boutique imports it exclusively. exclusive is the new NEW on a product.

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showing me the cheese boutique stamp in my head i’m going there is no chance i’m eating pasta i’m such a cow. relax i’ll have some.

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don’t you want to smoosh your face in my hair? it’s really soft and pretty and smells nice. just saying. i’m digging through the bag now that we’ve started i want to see what else christmas brought.

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oh yessssssss.

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mmmmmmmm.

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greedy spoiled brat.

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we’ve pretty much consumed everything in that bag. all the cheeses and sausage, roasted almonds, the cherry butter spread (i’ve been eating with a spoon) the strawberry compote we still have. melodie cooked the french lentils last nite (best healthiest meal ever) we have yet to hit the olive oils but we will.

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i’m just assembly-line passing it all over to mel goin through it haha this is what real looks like.

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afrim gave me two cheeses that his wife loves. one of which is twenty bucks. high roller. it’s all gone now i ain’t no poseur (foodie) eater, i eat. and eat.

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mind blown looks like this. melodie looks wild-eyed too. we all look mental, in fact. sane is boring.

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so happy. totally scored.

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i love melodie in this blazer. that’s the high roller cheese afrim is showing her. they took prices off everything so i couldn’t add it all up at home like a grinch but they missed that one.

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had just received palettes of this sparkling lemonade so he threw in a couple, blood orange and pomegranate. guzzled the hell out of them. afrim suggested making a cocktail, way ahead of you there haha. had them straight up virgin though cos we were good kids this weekend.

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i would seriously be a cow if i worked there i dunno know how he’s so thin. hustles his ass off and doesn’t eat enough i guess. he is like, a real business guy. that’s how you can gauge one’s business by how skinny everyone is or isn’t. stress = skinny = success. you can figure out on your own what the opposite is for this equation.

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i don’t think there’s one thing from that place i wouldn’t eat. ooh raymi food challenge. spotted dick? coming right up. good afternoon.

xoxox