Raymi’s tasting series tour begins: CAFE DU LAC

first we need a date. got one. co-ordinate outfits. check. matching my little pony extensions. no prob. legs for days. covered.

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hahahahaha.

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off they go into the nite.

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i learned last nite i’m gonna have to stop gorging and actually start tasting otherwise i am NEVER going to get a boyfriend. she died of a heart attack, childless, manless and faaaat. tres sad.

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i love this time of day between night and day i know it’s called dusk i was just trying to be poetic, jesus.

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britt, it is way too late to be wearing shades and driving. she took ‘em off after this. always commit to the cool even if it kills you. not me thought i am too important to die just yet.

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cafe du lac is at cheese boutique RIGHT NOW until four so if you wanna fight your way thru saturday foodie shoppers and sample their stuff i implore you to do it. i was so full from this dinner i didn’t even give’r last nite it was that satisfying.

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cafe du lac is (was?) a famous cafe in quebec so there you go french fucks stationed in onterrible, go there and be irritating. my hate on for french people comes from working at the central (french club friday nights, they don’t tip, they’re fucking rude and self-entitled and at the end of the night they want to split their bills and demand to run tabs throughout the night, sometimes paying for singular drinks with visa/debit ugh…) and don’t you worry they have their own special little post coming up, french people, not central, and i’m allowed to talk shit cos my mom was born in montreal.

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blurry. the other diners were beyond intrigued by what was going on over at our table. who IS she??? oh film festival? kathryn (the owner) just fucked with ‘em a little bit. mystery sells. as do long legs and blonde hair and big cameras.

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very cozy place and friday is band night. that guy sounded like huey lewis.

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you can spy on the kitchen a little too. huge respect for restaurants coming up with major food working out of a smaller space.

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this is the shortest dress i own. i can’t even sit down in public spaces in it it’s all ass.

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very good wine list.

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trying to recall what i might have been thinking at the time of this photo. starving actually probably just tunnel vision for food. britt was totally ravenous.

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and a total babe too. she looked at this and went, “fat” oh really? i would kill for your figure you little bitch.

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i look like blonde joey ramone.

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i felt really awkward. i love having my photo taken but not in front of normal people sitting down right beside you cos we already made enough of a scene in just showing up then the cameras roll out and ugh, i just have to learn to shrug it off and ignore ignore ignore instead of getting aggressively defensive and snapping I AM WORKING which would be totally rude. people are allowed to look and allowed to be curious i know but sometimes there is always one who decides to make a thing of it. i will come back to this at another point.

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i have so many photos of me “doing something” out there cos i feel like the wacky diffuses some of the tension in the room like they already think whatever they’re seeing is part insane so it doesn’t really matter how much more i push it.

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truffle butter from cheese boutique we inhaled it. truffle anything will make you do that which is kind of dangerous if you think about it. truffle gasoline!

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oh my god so it begins.

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calf tongue. a first for me. everything was explained to us by chef bernadette and i tried really hard to pay attenion but i’m sorry, it is really hard to remember all that but let me try again. the calf tongue was marinated for a long time. the beans were super spicy wrapped in prcosciutto and an amazing stinky blue cheese blobbed on the bottom to blend it all together. there good enough? if i didn’t know that was calf tongue i’d have thought it was some kind of normal meat.

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salmon tartar on the left, in the middle is foie gras (soooo rich)(so cruel!)(so delicious!) top right is elk and top left is thick prosciutto basted in blueberries. i hogged as much of this plate as i could, stupidly so, had no idea another taste appetizer plate AND three more main courses were coming out afterward PLUS dessert. VIP is the place to be.

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that would be my i am listening face.

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listening and alright already face.

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love the presentation. i want to stack food like this. they have this thing on the menu that comes in a huge upside down jar that you take off only when it reaches your table, it’s duck violated by foie gras. total artists those guys are. just check out the menu it’s ridiculous.

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i got up before pigging out to pose for this awkward photo. at the end of it all bernadette changed into her night outfit and we were all a-gog at how babely she is.

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elk. i owned it. i think i have to get my cholesterol checked soon.

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britt got the raw end of this deal.

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crab legs, ate the entire thing shell and all so i guess it’s soft shell, beet salad aaaand creamy deep fried parmesan and gruyere squares. basically high-end cheese sticks. when i had one of those my eyes rolled back in my head. britt got a picture but i deleted it cos i look disgusting.

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sooo pretty. guys if you fuck up you should take your girl to cafe du lac to get out of the doghouse i saw a couple making out in the back that almost made me barf the kiss was so passionate, i think they were french. hahaha.

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potato things i thought were onions. you throw these a-top anything you want though we just ate them with our fingers. all table manners went straight out the window by this point.

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have you ever had the chef come out and explain your food to you? that doesn’t happen. what i’m saying here is yes, i am royalty. actually the owner kathryn (who tweets and is awesome) when i sat down was like oh YOU are raymi wow you’re cute. i think she was expecting a huge fucking ugly nerd not glamourazzi paparazzi.

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halibut on mashed i forget but i told my no carbs to eat it so i could scrape it all off the plate. i remember hearing that those skinny green things are sea asparagus. super salty. so yum.

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oh wait here’s the photo of me eating the cheese. orgasm.

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bernadette was kinda calling bullshit on my being overly agreeable to everything we were eating so i tried the halibut right on the spot to show her live what my thoughts were. i was like it’s not dry at all, moist, delicious tasty. this was my favourite main actually and they tried to take it away multiple times and i snapped at kathryn with a knife in my hand ahahaha sorry. i think she liked it.

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they’re letting me come back for another round so if one of you a-holes plays your cards right you can be my date.

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parsnips!? must be. are they less starchy than potatoes? if so i’m copying them for thanksgiving well i’ll just make a fucking mountain.

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i think this is venison. those orange things are mushrooms that aren’t even in season yet so i guess bernadette yelled at them and made them grow to term? how does that even work? there’s so much i don’t know about food.

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i was an extremely picky finicky eater as a kid i drove my mother insane and there is no chance in hell i’d touch this if you put it down in front of me but now i am such a snot it’s pretty ironic, my mom wouldn’t eat half the cuisine i spoil myself on. one of these days i’ll make her though.

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one of those weird mushrooms. very good. i hate portobello mushrooms. i think that’s my only food hatred come to think of it. they always get soaked in balsamic and the combo just grosses me out and the fact that they’re portobello ooh so fancy am i supposed to blow you now cos you’re not the simple basic kind of mushroom? i’ve always been a bit weird about mushrooms actually. they’re alien-looking, some can kill you, some taste super bizarre. i guess they’re the fish of vegetables and are they even vegetables? confusing much? another thing is people get offended if you don’t like portobello mushrooms. it’s happened. i don’t want to take this post in that direction though cos we ate foie gras and calf tongue so….

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what the hell is venison? i just wikipedia’d it it’s deer. great! i’m just eating the entire fucking forest now.

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oh my god there’s more you’re killing me here (loving it) but yeah at this point we were blobs. that’s rostii on the left (YUM) and duck stuffed foie gras.

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and that’s single forever dead center.

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the one on the right, better by far than haagan dazs, bernadette was quit proud of it. britt said it tasted like rich easter chocolate. it was both and we fought over it. the middle is the maple syrup tart (i think??) whatever it is it’s the cafe du lac signature dessert, very nice, yeah it must be the maple syrup tart cos my brain is recalling the hint of maple flavour. on the left is earl grey creme brulee so you go from right to left sweeter to less sweet and then you’re done and you go into a food coma.

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i am an eating warrior. once this post is done i am totally going to slaughter myself at the gym.

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cute sous chef remy.

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bernadette gets ready for the night.

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dragged kathryn into the vamp shot.

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remy came out to see what the fucking big deal was. hi what’s your name? raymi. oh i’m remy. remy and raymi.

it’s 9/11 anniversary hopefully i don’t actually have my annual massive anxiety attack. here‘s my blog post from september 23 2001 of the photos from 9/11, there’s more we have but yeah, scanning is such a chore. i blogged hella infrequently back then. i know september 11 is just a date and i shouldn’t let it affect me but i just can’t control it. part of my brain is permanently damaged from this event.

lucas and i were just trying to figure out if it’s affect or effect. then he said oprah had a grammatical error on her twitter today, she typed than instead of then. BURN. we have grammar fights in this household all the time. melodie is fascinated by how strongly i feel about the proper usage of language, spelling, speaking. so when i fuck up they all laugh at me and use the word i said wrong against me. dicks.