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you CAN always get what you want

hey pals remember when i used to go to cheese boutique all the time and photograph the minutiae, just because? ahh those weren’t the days…ha kidding. somewhat. my point is i don’t even know where to begin blowing them it feels like it’s all happened so fast. oh my god i’ll stop blathering and just get on with the show. i took melodie along with for the ride for her first time there. all this time i’ve been telling my immediate circle about my goings-on in the city which is like 60% food 40% gym and then if you made one of those hipster graphs a big circle splicing through gym and food would be dating. anyway with the food always CB gets tied-in as they supply many restos in the city their cheese or meat or whatever, get the connection yet? so to make this all make more sense in my friend’s minds i figure i should just physically show them CB.

ginger asked me after we ate at cafe du lac how cheese boutique was, uhh fine, except i didn’t go to cheese boutique i went to cafe du lac LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK! then i realized yeah it might be a little confusing i shouldn’t expect everyone to be as smart as i am all the time. i have horrible impatience, it’s a bipolar thing for sure you just want people to communicate telepathically with you and they can’t and you blow your top when they get it wrong.

i took’er easy friday nite, hit the gym, movie rental, crashed at gf’s place, went to the gym again in the morning then biked home to the tail-end of a house party which sort of (totally) pissed me off. one party guest of which was the same person who would not fucking leave the morning after melodie’s birthday party. i came in the livingroom in my gym attire, heard as i was climbing the stairs “…i drank so much beer I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW…no seriously where am i..?” oh great i thought, open the door they see me i see them i go, “oh i guess there was an after party.”

so i guess melodie won’t be joining me today ahhaha no problem there wasn’t any actual “business” afoot aside from it was time she saw the joint but sometimes if you hangover blow plans it can make you way more depressed so she powered through and i was impressed. the last thing i’d want to do is eat rich food following a bender which sort of doesn’t make sense as i was hungover every single day last week right up to eating foie gras duck etc etc ugh. i have learned my lesson don’t worry. i starve myself in-between these night’s out or i eat like a rabbit.

it was the beginning of a wonderful girl day-date. lucas slept off his hangover and we hit the town and i didn’t try to escape off once for a date or something stupid. i am having the most mellow normal weekend ever it is kind of incredible.

i look kind of famous and important here i like it hahaha. i also like fucking with the cb employees cos they don’t know who the hell i am or what is going on and i dig that and exploit it. everywhere i go it’s like performance art pretty much.

oh look it’s humble (not so) howard. he really liked melodie and i. i told him i had my own radio show once. he didn’t care. put me on the air guy the people have a right to my opinions in real time. he said he will at least link my blog off the radio’s site. good.

another guy i won over, chris woods, phenom chef. he’s personal chef to some big names right now and he said he’s going to help make me skinny again. good luck buddy! his wife is adorable and feisty we really liked her.

omfg i want to go to italy.

i starved myself prior to this told melodie not to eat when i said i was going to cb this saturday. she was like well i have to eat something like toast at least. that’s fine for you but i am not eating beforehand. this is why. normally there aren’t this many food samples going on at cb well i always used to go there sundays, i think they go sample crazy on saturdays in general (seriously in every nook there is an open package of everything you see you can totally eat your way through the building) but extra special is the tasting series of diff big names cooking up a feast on top of all the samples you can gorge on a saturday so for the next few weeks go to cb on a saturday. you’re welcome.

i am trying my hand at portion control it was hard but i didn’t finish this. apparently it’s an honour thing leaving food on the plate it’s a sign of respect in china to the chef you’d think it would be a diss to leave food unfinished. also asians only eat 80% of their portions they always leave 20% behind that’s what norman told me at central, he’s asian. he said it’s not genetics why they’re all so thin it’s the amount they consume. i guess it makes sense as they’re really smart with numbers. oh man i’m so glad my entire math class at st. joes was asian i sat beside the nicest smartest one of them who was like dazzled by how insane i was i’m pretty sure i would have failed that class if not for her.

delicious. i got sent home with a bag of this pasta it’s called fregola grossa and it is not gross. it looks like rocks i can’t even believe it’s pasta it looks so retarded.

i have to remember my posture i look like a hunchback no one wants to talk to.

chris thought i was crazy but then he met me and realized he’s way crazier. see people you don’t have to be afraid of me i’m actually really nice. if you deserve it.

this picture is cozy. i am cozy and so are my surroundings. actually the new word to describe me as is endearing. at cafetaste afterward melodie said everything i do is endearing. people say the nicest things after Rosé.

melodie looks amazing in anything she wears. that’s the heathers jacket my aunt gave me. i remember the last time i wore it. outfits tell stories. they trigger memories of night’s past. ghost outfits! oh my god we’re having a grammar fight now, past passed we can’t figure it out. cos it IS the past AND it passed. ughhh what do you think? lucas says passed. i agree but my initial instinct was past. moving on.

chris and his wife are having us over for dinner and also to have a raymi cooking show in their kitchen. pumped. you know what i want to do? i want to cook for elite chefs and have them insult me to my face or try to pick apart my meal. ooh i have an idea.

that’s it no more smiling from below photos my face looks huuuge. oh hi afrim.

cheese vault tour. every time i go to cb i learn something new whether i like it or not. there’s over a million dollars worth of cheese in the vault. you can store cheese like wine there if you want and you can visit your cheese and congratulate yourself on being so disgustingly rich you don’t know what to do with it.

i always think of the movie gangs of new york when i go in there. so old school, old world, no packaging yeah that’s it. packaging is disgusting and offensive i like to keep it pilgrim whenever i can.

that’s my i am learning face. wow that thing beside me isn’t a load bearing beam it’s cheese.

seriously now.

i was getting claustrophobic so i escaped on my own journey.

these touch my lonely heart, marche has little vintage toys going around the room as well. i feel like one day i will too.

people have always been curious about my food obsession. my dad was the first to ever point it out. it was when i was mental and fresh back from LA we went grocery shopping and i guess all the items i was throwing into the cart tipped him off. he said i was food obsessed, i was a twig at the time, can’t remember the actual wording but it was the first moment of clarity i ever had on the subject. i thought hmm he has a point here but what it means i do not know.

oh i know he said i had a food fetish. how prophetic, dad.

here comes fatty.

this woman is awesome she fed me this by hand as the honey was everywhere and she didn’t want my hands to be sticky. so sweet!

i am reminded of fried green tomatoes the scene when she sticks her hand in the tree and grabs a piece of honeycomb for her friend. hey guys this is the blog about stuff that reminds me of other stuff how very unnecessarily informative you’re welcome.

she shoved this in my mouth.

awesome. because i am a spazz i have to have flavour on flavour everything and then i have to have more on top of that and combine the most ridiculous shit and then there must be a dip too just in case i’m not satisfied for all of us wow i’m glad i don’t hostess anymore so exhausting. actually i miss it. the point is you should try honey and blue cheese. bam.

not finished yet. i took the toothpick fork out of her hand and was like gimme this you don’t know what you’re doing here and started making up my own cheese/honey concoctions hahaha. melodie get out here try this right now.

can you feed her by hand too?

she wouldn’t. sometimes when i am in a hyper and demanding cyclone people come up for air and realize they’re their own bosses but it’s funny to see how far you can push things sometimes. mostly i am not even aware of it it just feels natural to be in charge, be the leader.

what a glutton.

haaaha the guy behind me pretending not to be interested in our bizarro world.


yeah i dunno. the lady was calling bullshit on me for not showing food enjoyment face, for not being real, so this was my real.

can you spy my friend the pear i always photograph and say hi to whenever i visit. i’m drawn to it because it is so beautiful and magnificent. food is art that you eat.

melodie asked if i tried these i think i did at a wedding once years ago. show candies. i need to visit a factory and see how these are made. you spray them i guess? the eating experience of one of these must be strange, to look at a piece of silver and then consume it. do you like how i am blown away by the lamest things?

i know this isn’t a pumpkin but the colours oh man made me a little emo there for a second. if i see anybody carrying a pumpkin around with them i am going to kick it out of their hands TOO SOON ASSHOLE. i wonder if cb was just testing out their fall icing colour dye blend.

well seeing as i don’t have a boyfriend i guess it makes sense i’m hooked up with cb in lieu of and not some place like dominoes.

why thank you.

ok be right back with part two.

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16 thoughts on “you CAN always get what you want

  1. i read my boyfriend the part about the 80% on the plate and he said its a compliment to the chef because its like saying it was good im full i cant finish makes sense but i dunno if he knows what hes talking about or sounding smart

  2. I am past being hungry after reading this post! Thank you for bringing this place to my attention. I had never heard of this place before, but it is definitely now on my radar. Thanks Raymi!

  3. I know the comment was probably in passing, but you really should go to Italy, maybe for an extended time. Think about it as a serious option – it’s not as outlandish as it seems

  4. Anna and Kristina from the shopping bags had a show where they cooked for elite chefs and got insulted. Also, who was taking pictures??

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