These are amazing pasties. Hope they stay on.

new shorts from paddy! so tiny!

Feathers, lingerie, and bras everywhere it’s so funny. We’re nailing down dances, picking tunes and wardrobe. Jasmine is an amazing addition to troupe Beach Blanket Burlesque. Today it’s going up to 31 degrees. After dance practise maybe some beach. We’re excited to start working on our Halloween Showcase too. Burlesque FTW. See you Sunday!

Here’s some photos I uploaded a few days ago, in-between several other things then something shiny no doubt took my attention away and off I went to attend to whatever that was. I have major Toronto Syndrome right now. I like invented illnesses to blame my shit on, v helpful. Anywhoo, here’s the roof I’ve not been taking advantage of all summer long except for right now cos we’re facing the music and we don’t like this song. boo.

I picture myself in a month from now’s time sobbing over coffee at these.

Thanks to the neighbours being so private we get the tips of their privacy wicker branch things that look like beach grass. Thanks snobs!

We have a record of five flowers on this hibiscus, those plants are lasters, days without watering and they still truck on. If the cats won’t chew them up and barf heavy metal all over the house maybe we’ll take them in for the winter.

With the white umbrella open it lends a beachy/nautical vibe with the wind whipping it gently like a sail. I sigh so much I faint into my lounger and then take a siesta.

It’s a grand view, lots to take in.

Heidi came up the other day and was blown away, hadn’t seen it all summer, was like you just upped the value of this place by… before it was a pile of junk, literally. Took Raymbo Martha Stewart Bright to get it going. It’s very resort now. Parkdale Cove.

Teacher added lights while I was in Miami. Omg That was ages ago :(.

I avoid the rood because I cannot work up there, the glare of the sun on the screen plus lying down just makes you take too many breaks. Don’t worry, I will have guilt about this come winter. Already do. Already did when summer started. I like to take my time indoors. It’s a bad habit but if I didn’t do it you wouldn’t have this blog to read.

Look it’s my niece!

And me! Enjoying the roof! EVIDENCE.

LOOK! I am brushing my hair. EVIDENCE. WAIT’LL YOU SEE IT NOW, Oops yelling, glamourous and long.

Ever notice how mismatched socks can match? The pink checked one is missing its brother.

Jerk chicken (obviously) and salad that I sprayed with truffle oil. I really am fantastic. It’s true.

EVIDENCE. If one has minions…

Rooftopia bleeds into chicktopia.

One girl in my comments said I have turned her into a monster and she likes it. She does DIY minxes. I’m going to gather every minx manicure I’ve had and do a post on that. Nail p0rn for girl post.

These glasses always make me laugh. They’re from aldo, got them for a summer clearance, orig $30 or something ridic but I got them for $2 and they’re meant for dudes. They are the epitome of sun jammer summer.

Hailey is a hipster.

And I think she made off with my hello kitty ring too. I’m telling Nana! She was wearing the same shade of Justin Bieber blue nail polish that I have. Do you know how many bottles of that crap I’ve sold, oy vey.

She rifled through Aunt Raymi’s shoes. Oh man, I can just see it now.

So the tickle trunk has moved, it’s kinda funny. I have my own crazy lady room like steph’s, what did I call her room again? The time out room? (I think crazy woman room). I’ve been calling it my boudoir.

It’s exactly the same except the couch is downstairs, now with cat barf stains all over it. NICE thanks guys!

Getting ready for a turbobabe run. Look for me when you’re on the drake’s patio, I’m the one who looks like the psycho cop from Terminator II that’s the clip I run at. One day my heart will explode out of my chest and it will be magnificent. My shoes are dirty from climbing a mountain. Hi I’m Raymi and I climb mountains.

Cleaning house. Dirt should just be scared of me period. Look at that. Terrifying.

gahahahahhahahahaha bye!

my hello kitty bracelet from q city.

Back to the dancing board.

Getting back into the swing of things, when a song comes on that can effectively clear my bad mood away, I celebrate that (I like gospel chanting Goth songs, this one has elements of all of that if I can picture myself running to it in slow motion crying in a torn gown, I’ma youtube raymi dance attack it). We will quickly be over this tune and then I’ll be the last man standing, overplaying and playing it forever in my Hello Kitty make believe fantasyland. Gonna go get minxed today! ps. since I started wearing heels on the regular, my calves have become super runs too much toned (like a 56 year old health freak who mountain climbs and hikes) and thighs overall, ripped.

Speaking of slow motion running, here’s that video Britt Directed of me two falls ago.

seventeen degrees in a november forest from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

I came up with this title because it was November and HOT. Perfect film day.

Look dad! This was out all week and I didn’t even know it. I like that I got attached to the blurb about this event which they probably learned about via me therefore MUST barnacle Raymi. VICTORY. Sitting on that motorcycle was the best idea I had all night, no, one of the top ten best ideas I had right behind photobombing EVERYONE.

After reading the piece on Layton yesterday at Watusi, well, during reading it, as I bawled my eyes out all over the grid, I made a decision about caring more about more important things other than my hair and how many swarovski rings are on my fingers and I thought hmm, maybe I should go into politics. I mean, I already have a cult following, I ride a bike, I care about women and equality. I don’t pose to know every little thing about every little issue but that’s where my Dick Cheney would come in. We know I have a nice face that will age well-ish enough (thanks mom!)(french blooood) and ok back to Jack. No wait he gets his own post. RIP JACK XOXO I love Olivia too, I partied with her when I was 16 but now that I am more famous I can’t spill skeletons anymore. She came to my (older) ex bf’s apartment for the annual tropical drink making contest, one of his roommates went to Mcgill or Uof T I dunno, they were all older, it was the Annex, it was normal for adults to live together like that I guess back when a 29 year old was a real adult not like today and how I am infantilized (both by self and other surrounding enablers) one year shy of 29 and I do not at all relate to who those guys were back when we hung out, next year I will be the same age a them, blows my mind. I was secretly 16, posing as an 18 year old to some or a 20 year old. Everyone bought it. Then Olivia Chow shows up, relevant, in an undercover cop posing as an urban youth type get-up, v politician. I had no fucking clue who she was before this party. I clung to her just so I could share this story with you today. I know I seldom go political here because that’s for other people who “pay attention” and the only other recent time that I bothered to was seeing Jack Layton on TV not 4 months ago he didn’t look at all sick. Ok I am rambling now and will continue blathering at a later date. All I know is I doubt other candidates are as cool as those two. I saw a side to this woman, I felt her importance, her glow, and spirit. I wanted in.

That’s at Harvest Table in b-town. We caused a bit of a stir at brunch and by we I mean me and my insistence of making everyone around me think I am a movie star. Hey, we do what we can to make it through the day right. I love Burlington, it’s my Versailles.

My mother and Fairy Godmother are at a fat camp in Utah right now. Mom’s texting me updates. I wonder if she’s been yelled at Boot Camp drill sergeant styles yet? God help those trainers ahahhaa. She said these other women are all constipated. They started off eat bingeing and shopping in Vegas. Oh man.

Check all my Nella bags. Collector.

Stalking Marco. Lisa took this picture. Hi Lisa! I was hung out of my mind and sweating in my hangover jumpsuit, totally shaky, with burning elements of boiling risotto all around all the while networking my ass off and selling planet raymbo to anyone who will listen. I’ve had to store his signed cheese rotting apron in the crisper because of said smell.

Team Canada Ford Blogher babes Looking forward to bumping into these girls again at the She’s Connected Conference in September. I’m speaking at it. I found that out yesterday which reminds me I must write a bio and submit a photo, I knew I was invited before but I didn’t know Donna wanted me to speak I figured I’d just be used to hype and cool up the event and maybe just stand around being angry at everyone ahaha but no, I’ma Tom Cruise in Magnolia motivationally speak the shit outta it! Exciting.

Dad has been pestering me to put a photo up of his new Ric for weeks, like, you put up all those pictures of your mom and Dan Aykroyd and the mayor but none of my guitar. Dad, I am the editor here at the Dad Times. When I feel the news is relevant I will insert it. Sometimes the extra self-indulgent shots that are only interesting to a handful of people must wait on the back burner til I can cluster them in to a blackberry round-up of shots.

So long ONterrible and those Raybans. (gave them to stew).

How we drove to Quebec. I threw my white office girl button up in the car to put on when we made road stops. It was a scorcher. I love road trips.

Yellow Kitty polish I covered in graprefruit glimmer. Took it off by the time I went out cos I nicked it too many times. I hate this polish, it’s so trying to get on right but if done well, looks so cute. Dilemma. I don’t know how Paige has the patience for it. Patience Paige, run with it.

Speak of the devil.

No, that one.

While jamming my headdress on for my florence dance I crowned myself in such a way I turned into Marianne Faithful. Ah bless. Roots outta control 80’s style.

Happy Tuesday!

Don’t forget, if you’re around for the long weekend it’s a SO LONG SUMMER Jamboree! Starring ME. ME! And hopefully you too.

We’ll be screening nothing but summer movies all night long. My aunt also told me summer isn’t over officially for 3 WEEKS. Thank god. Then I’ll be whining about autumn. You know I will.

I wonder what the next monster bikini will be? I saw the skeleton hands one, pretty cool, this one wins though.

So I was burdened with big boobs for the day just so we could take these three pictures. Lovely.

Still down with OPP. Oh man I have content for days, speaking of, what day is this? Monday you say? Bah.

Lots of wicked dude duds here.

This look is actually growing on me, oversized hip hop vest with a bikini. Outfit accomplished. Must dash now my lovelies, the sun and roof calls. And Big Brother. I love missing an episode, saving it up and thinking about nothing but watching it until I watch it. Big Brother tunnel vision. HAhha and then I wrote this entire post so I haven’t watched BB yet. FASCINATED? Continue..

Haha I look so sad.

Artistically sad. Sadness and fashion go hand in hand. If it’s not working then the model isn’t sad enough.

I will be needing some fall wedges, how can I make the closed toe heel adjustment seam- (and pain) lessly? suggestions please you know i’ll be wearing the hell out of whatever we decide. It’s for the best.

Now THAT is a model face.

And THAT is a girlfriend face.

Ah yes, dress by Aah Jee. Gorgeous.

I can easily envision wearing, entertaining, and hostessing in this dress. No big deal. This old thing? Oh why thank you!

Good call on wearing the romper right?

Would also be fantastic in black.

Perfect with my hair. I need to wear more white.

In the back it comes up higher, so glam. Very fun dress to be photographed in and everyone just goes “Oooooh” about how dreamy you look. Enchanting.

I was trying to turn myself into an art installation

Hehhheh fabulous fun.

Hope your Monday was great, mine was super productive. Monday will hereby be referred to as ME MONDAY until I am forced to get a real job then it will be called, I want to die-day.

And finally we have the pose.

Me and my monocle. I see all.

I look like a wrestler.

I styled this look. I requested some big gold necklaces, they brought me the monocle and owl pieces. Classy gorgeous. Who are they by again?

There’s yer girl. I remember I found a photo of these style jogging pants 4 years ago and knew I’d eventually get my hands on a pair and the style would become a classic and stick around for awhile, also, not many girls will adopt the trend so you don’t have to worry about rip-offs (chicks style jackin’ ya), only a certain body type can rock these and I also said that they must be worn with wedges, some kind of crazy platforms otherwise you’re just wearing tapered jogging pants like who gives a shit right? If you can, and have the fashion chutzpah to take the look further, then do it. You only live once and life is too short to be ordinary. I want you to stand out so I don’t have to have all the attention all the time.

Then it was my Hilary Banks moment.

Wait a minute, this is also happening.

That shirt is amazing amazizazzizizaizaizaizaziing ZING like circus freak backflips infinitum amazing. It’s definitely an F U to everyone else’s shirt in the room when you wear this shirt. I would be super pissed off if a girl showed up wearing this loud attention hogging shirt, but I wouldn’t show it, yeah I’d compliment her shirt but in secret I would be seething and cutting her eyes out of a picture while slitting mine at her across the room and turning it into a friendly smile when she busts me ahhaha.

I don’t know how but it made my face way skinnier. Score!

Look how smug I am. You can see my new earrings Angelo gave me. One says Oui the other says Non (they are copper) so when we go to dinner and you fuck up I’ll sit with the NON earring on the appropriate ear and direct it at you at every opportunity. I’ll show you a close-up of them later.

Perfect with my hair. I got the tone right this day. When my roots come in there is a week’s period when my hair gets really ashy blonde in appearance from the combo of dark roots contrasted by the light hair colour and then I dump purple hair wash that makes my hair even whiter. Some people like my roots and then we get in hair fights over my hair colour oh good grief just wait til it’s waist length and you will all STFU about it.

The hot thing about this shirt is its translucency and we all know that this guy does not fear the nips, but I was too tired by this point and hungry so I didn’t take my romper off therefore this blog gets a g/pg rating for the day Phewf now I don’t have to sweat those corporate sponsors for anotha’ day. Hall-ay-loo-yuh and praise be. People were in support of me wearing nothing beneath it so that some perv would buy the shirt I modelled. I was too lazy to disrobe.

How intimidated would you be by this girl at the party? Super. It’s a shirt that can work for or against you. Knock-out. “She’d probably just reject me and I’d be frustrated.” Name that quote.

Ok I gotta go do other cool stuff now. Bye I love you! See the burn mark on my arm (from bbq to oven, jerk chicken) i’m gonna have to put a MINX tattoo there. FONT POLL! VOTE! Probably the most important polling ever. Pole. Ha.

OPP even cares about my teeths!

I have a lot of fan mail, I’ll be needing this.

Then I took us for the best mexican of our life. Angelo MAIL ME SOME. Why aren’t you 1000lbs it’s right across the street. Ok bye for real, not one of those fake goodbyes, but a REAL ONE.