also scored a great purse and finally a bodum! big news! we’ve been doing singular cup brewing from boiled kettle water for years which is fine for when i visit solo, but not when an assembly line of coffee fans are propping up the kitchen table and as for now, a convertible cruise (then back to dance rehearsal). it’s SO HOT! OMG HOT. HOT. But on Monday it’ll be only 9 degrees so enjoy the sauna while you can though it could just be a forecast of bullshit.
I also bought a huge towel. I love the salvation army out here. Clean, expansive, CHEAP. Paddy and I also got 50% off opened toe heels. She is cancelling her date so she can stay another night. I tell you, Burnoutington has a pull.
Feathers, lingerie, and bras everywhere it’s so funny. We’re nailing down dances, picking tunes and wardrobe. Jasmine is an amazing addition to troupe Beach Blanket Burlesque. Today it’s going up to 31 degrees. After dance practise maybe some beach. We’re excited to start working on our Halloween Showcase too. Burlesque FTW. See you Sunday!
So, when I invented my brand at the age of 17 a hundred years ago luckily I had a crystal ball combing the future of a thousand cosmos for meh. Future forecast: MINX.
You know those “learning yourself” questionnaires on getting to know each other on the first day of school, or a work retreat (as if I know anything about that sort of thing) you’re typically asked what animal you are, I usually chose something from the cat family or a monkey, something cute and vicious. The older and more provocative I became, I knew my animal was a minx.
Kathy and I get right down to biz. We minx together so often she’s now my buddy. I fill her in on all my ridiculous shenanigans, gossip, publicity stunts, lascivious celebrity run-ins, you name it. She is a legit celebrity nail tech, she DID GAGA and tells me newer bits of info regarding lady gaga’s minxing each time I get a manicure. You’ll have to go hear for yourself, it’s not my story to share.
This’ll be the one. I’ve had my eye on this design for months. We’re still designing a raymi minx. Excuse me I just recovered from fainting. I ran to my manicure, have you ever done that before? I recommend it, the exercise euphoria makes your stories more interesting, I think I squeezed in about 400 anecdotes. We all love for our artists to be eccentric and insane. DONE and DONE.
If I had the time I could get a minx manicure a week. My nails are sponsored like my hair but they don’t have roots so I don’t have to get them done as often as I get my roots dyed. Funny how I turned my job into being kept and purporting an image as such, I’ve never been accused of being a kept woman so many times in the last week, not accused just assumed, a woman of leisure. Trust me, I do not take my not having to appear at an office every morning life for granted and while this superfluous activity packed life seems like ring-around-the-rosy, I assure you, I hustle my ass off and have the mania to show for it.
Heat lamp. I am careful to take my hands out from under it at intervals cos I don’t want them getting tanned.
Then Kathy files off the excess expertly with her glass minx file.
I am going to select a special lucky lady out of the crowd for a raymi the minxing on the house during my talk this month.
Teacher met me with camera and bikini top cos I knew I’d be sweaty and gross from my run and hyperventilating. I run so hard I see stars, to the point of blacking out in the sun. Everyone I know who runs says they do that too, so stupid and hilarious.
I’m over-privileged.
Can’t wait to wear this AA bikini THIS SUNDAY SEPT 4 are you coming?
SUNDAY NIGHT SALUTE SUMMER ONE LAST TIME! BEACH BLANKET BURLESQUE. GET YOUR BEE HIVES ON BABES! GRAB THAT ZINC AND GINGHAM RETRO TWO PIECE. SEPTEMBER 4 9PM $5 STARRING RAYMI THE MINX, PADDY CAKES AND JASMINE. XOXO
You can see my nail flesh through the decal. BALLIN’!
Another famous minxing. Katy Perry is a huge minx fan too. Google it. This isn’t her.
I bought my friend Leslie a nice show soap from Kathy’s salon. Show soaps is an inside joke we have.
The more I age the more my Kerouac eccentricities come out, weird skinny naked manicuring hahaa.
Mind is obviously being blown.
One satisfied and happy dorky customer later. Speaking of sponsorships, if you want to sponsor me some exercise gear I would be more than happy to represent your brand. This ROOTS number is about to bite the dust, it was a good run. No pun intended. RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM I find that I am much more confident when wearing appropriate fitness attire and people think I am “doing it right” when I blast by like a looter being chased in futuristic sleek spandex. When I run I hold my water bottle out in front of me like I’m at a casual cocktail party I refuse to get those water bottle waistband grenades. (OMFG HOW MUCH DO I ACTUALLY WANT THEM?)
And look how long my hair is. If you want to get Minxed, hit up Kathy at Heartbreaker Salonlocated at 889 DUNDAS ST W. just northeast of Bellwoods. Say my name and get a discount and enjoy your tidy little nails for a week as well as not having to do any dishes lol. 416.869.0440
Now I will hunt for all my Minx manicure choices. There’s the ska set, the gator, metallic, pink/black tartan, I can’t remember them all can you?
Nail art is huge right now, it’s worth it to spoil yourself with a hip put together ‘cure, instantly makes you feel great and like a lady. Like, a Minx.
Here’s some photos I uploaded a few days ago, in-between several other things then something shiny no doubt took my attention away and off I went to attend to whatever that was. I have major Toronto Syndrome right now. I like invented illnesses to blame my shit on, v helpful. Anywhoo, here’s the roof I’ve not been taking advantage of all summer long except for right now cos we’re facing the music and we don’t like this song. boo.
I picture myself in a month from now’s time sobbing over coffee at these.
Thanks to the neighbours being so private we get the tips of their privacy wicker branch things that look like beach grass. Thanks snobs!
We have a record of five flowers on this hibiscus, those plants are lasters, days without watering and they still truck on. If the cats won’t chew them up and barf heavy metal all over the house maybe we’ll take them in for the winter.
With the white umbrella open it lends a beachy/nautical vibe with the wind whipping it gently like a sail. I sigh so much I faint into my lounger and then take a siesta.
It’s a grand view, lots to take in.
Heidi came up the other day and was blown away, hadn’t seen it all summer, was like you just upped the value of this place by… before it was a pile of junk, literally. Took Raymbo Martha Stewart Bright to get it going. It’s very resort now. Parkdale Cove.
Teacher added lights while I was in Miami. Omg That was ages ago :(.
I avoid the rood because I cannot work up there, the glare of the sun on the screen plus lying down just makes you take too many breaks. Don’t worry, I will have guilt about this come winter. Already do. Already did when summer started. I like to take my time indoors. It’s a bad habit but if I didn’t do it you wouldn’t have this blog to read.
Look it’s my niece!
And me! Enjoying the roof! EVIDENCE.
LOOK! I am brushing my hair. EVIDENCE. WAIT’LL YOU SEE IT NOW, Oops yelling, glamourous and long.
Ever notice how mismatched socks can match? The pink checked one is missing its brother.
Jerk chicken (obviously) and salad that I sprayed with truffle oil. I really am fantastic. It’s true.
EVIDENCE. If one has minions…
Rooftopia bleeds into chicktopia.
One girl in my comments said I have turned her into a monster and she likes it. She does DIY minxes. I’m going to gather every minx manicure I’ve had and do a post on that. Nail p0rn for girl post.
These glasses always make me laugh. They’re from aldo, got them for a summer clearance, orig $30 or something ridic but I got them for $2 and they’re meant for dudes. They are the epitome of sun jammer summer.
Hailey is a hipster.
And I think she made off with my hello kitty ring too. I’m telling Nana! She was wearing the same shade of Justin Bieber blue nail polish that I have. Do you know how many bottles of that crap I’ve sold, oy vey.
She rifled through Aunt Raymi’s shoes. Oh man, I can just see it now.
So the tickle trunk has moved, it’s kinda funny. I have my own crazy lady room like steph’s, what did I call her room again? The time out room? (I think crazy woman room). I’ve been calling it my boudoir.
It’s exactly the same except the couch is downstairs, now with cat barf stains all over it. NICE thanks guys!
Getting ready for a turbobabe run. Look for me when you’re on the drake’s patio, I’m the one who looks like the psycho cop from Terminator II that’s the clip I run at. One day my heart will explode out of my chest and it will be magnificent. My shoes are dirty from climbing a mountain. Hi I’m Raymi and I climb mountains.
Cleaning house. Dirt should just be scared of me period. Look at that. Terrifying.
You have to wait out a lot of stupid dancing to get to the stripping part. WORTH IT.
DON’T FORGET THIS SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 4!
going through more shots from the mayor/dan aykroyd night. haha.
This minx job is amazing, a laster for sure. You can see them Sunday. Alas, the high maintenance work is never done. Today it’s roots day, I have many hours in the salon chair ahead of me. As well it is hump day. Jour de bosse! Make it a good one buddies.
Getting back into the swing of things, when a song comes on that can effectively clear my bad mood away, I celebrate that (I like gospel chanting Goth songs, this one has elements of all of that if I can picture myself running to it in slow motion crying in a torn gown, I’ma youtube raymi dance attack it). We will quickly be over this tune and then I’ll be the last man standing, overplaying and playing it forever in my Hello Kitty make believe fantasyland. Gonna go get minxed today! ps. since I started wearing heels on the regular, my calves have become super runs too much toned (like a 56 year old health freak who mountain climbs and hikes) and thighs overall, ripped.
Speaking of slow motion running, here’s that video Britt Directed of me two falls ago.
I came up with this title because it was November and HOT. Perfect film day.
Look dad! This was out all week and I didn’t even know it. I like that I got attached to the blurb about this event which they probably learned about via me therefore MUST barnacle Raymi. VICTORY. Sitting on that motorcycle was the best idea I had all night, no, one of the top ten best ideas I had right behind photobombing EVERYONE.
After reading the piece on Layton yesterday at Watusi, well, during reading it, as I bawled my eyes out all over the grid, I made a decision about caring more about more important things other than my hair and how many swarovski rings are on my fingers and I thought hmm, maybe I should go into politics. I mean, I already have a cult following, I ride a bike, I care about women and equality. I don’t pose to know every little thing about every little issue but that’s where my Dick Cheney would come in. We know I have a nice face that will age well-ish enough (thanks mom!)(french blooood) and ok back to Jack. No wait he gets his own post. RIP JACK XOXO I love Olivia too, I partied with her when I was 16 but now that I am more famous I can’t spill skeletons anymore. She came to my (older) ex bf’s apartment for the annual tropical drink making contest, one of his roommates went to Mcgill or Uof T I dunno, they were all older, it was the Annex, it was normal for adults to live together like that I guess back when a 29 year old was a real adult not like today and how I am infantilized (both by self and other surrounding enablers) one year shy of 29 and I do not at all relate to who those guys were back when we hung out, next year I will be the same age a them, blows my mind. I was secretly 16, posing as an 18 year old to some or a 20 year old. Everyone bought it. Then Olivia Chow shows up, relevant, in an undercover cop posing as an urban youth type get-up, v politician. I had no fucking clue who she was before this party. I clung to her just so I could share this story with you today. I know I seldom go political here because that’s for other people who “pay attention” and the only other recent time that I bothered to was seeing Jack Layton on TV not 4 months ago he didn’t look at all sick. Ok I am rambling now and will continue blathering at a later date. All I know is I doubt other candidates are as cool as those two. I saw a side to this woman, I felt her importance, her glow, and spirit. I wanted in.
That’s at Harvest Table in b-town. We caused a bit of a stir at brunch and by we I mean me and my insistence of making everyone around me think I am a movie star. Hey, we do what we can to make it through the day right. I love Burlington, it’s my Versailles.
My mother and Fairy Godmother are at a fat camp in Utah right now. Mom’s texting me updates. I wonder if she’s been yelled at Boot Camp drill sergeant styles yet? God help those trainers ahahhaa. She said these other women are all constipated. They started off eat bingeing and shopping in Vegas. Oh man.
Stalking Marco. Lisa took this picture. Hi Lisa! I was hung out of my mind and sweating in my hangover jumpsuit, totally shaky, with burning elements of boiling risotto all around all the while networking my ass off and selling planet raymbo to anyone who will listen. I’ve had to store his signed cheese rotting apron in the crisper because of said smell.
Team Canada Ford Blogher babes Looking forward to bumping into these girls again at the She’s Connected Conference in September. I’m speaking at it. I found that out yesterday which reminds me I must write a bio and submit a photo, I knew I was invited before but I didn’t know Donna wanted me to speak I figured I’d just be used to hype and cool up the event and maybe just stand around being angry at everyone ahaha but no, I’ma Tom Cruise in Magnolia motivationally speak the shit outta it! Exciting.
Dad has been pestering me to put a photo up of his new Ric for weeks, like, you put up all those pictures of your mom and Dan Aykroyd and the mayor but none of my guitar. Dad, I am the editor here at the Dad Times. When I feel the news is relevant I will insert it. Sometimes the extra self-indulgent shots that are only interesting to a handful of people must wait on the back burner til I can cluster them in to a blackberry round-up of shots.
So long ONterrible and those Raybans. (gave them to stew).
How we drove to Quebec. I threw my white office girl button up in the car to put on when we made road stops. It was a scorcher. I love road trips.
Yellow Kitty polish I covered in graprefruit glimmer. Took it off by the time I went out cos I nicked it too many times. I hate this polish, it’s so trying to get on right but if done well, looks so cute. Dilemma. I don’t know how Paige has the patience for it. Patience Paige, run with it.
While jamming my headdress on for my florence dance I crowned myself in such a way I turned into Marianne Faithful. Ah bless. Roots outta control 80’s style.
Happy Tuesday!
Don’t forget, if you’re around for the long weekend it’s a SO LONG SUMMER Jamboree! Starring ME. ME! And hopefully you too.
We’ll be screening nothing but summer movies all night long. My aunt also told me summer isn’t over officially for 3 WEEKS. Thank god. Then I’ll be whining about autumn. You know I will.
