Author Archives: raymi

in sorrow there is no rhyme

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my niece has arrived from japan!

so has a bunch of xmas cards. this year i’m not sending any, sorry guys.

so, my blythe is scabbing, you know the type of scab you get from sitting in the bath with a wound and it gets all gross and wrinkly. except i didn’t sit in the bath and i am not allowed to for like two weeks now what the fuck am i supposed to do with myself? don’t worry this will definitely not turn into the tattoo blog like how nerds turn their blogs into wedding blogs (no offense ya snooze fests) and then being married blogs ugh. though i am somewhat into the minute tedious details, like how i enjoy reading the side of a box of cereal, it’s somehow fascinating to me? and of course everything i say is sprinkled with hypocrisy and bipolarisms (same thing) so basically yeah this is my new wedding tattoo blog for the next short while. we might even go to bed bath and beyond if we have enough time!

i do not think i will get an entire arm sleeve so you guys can chill, i don’t feel like i need to make a mural up and down my arm with rainbows and stars and other shit now that i have ONE tattoo, who made that rule, a puddle of aids? (kat von d) when renita first started i thought to myself well i guess this is the only tattoo i will ever get cos this hurts so fucking much. then you get over it. i am a big wimp when it comes to pain, they have to use the infant butterfly needle on me at the doc office (i have teeny veins) and i still cry (mostly from mental exhaustion) and they always look at me like are you for real? now when i go back with this tattoo and cry from a wimpy needle they are going to die laughing, like how big fat menacing-looking guys are actually sensitive teddy bears.

my new psychiatrist talks like john nash (russell crowe) in a beautiful mind, eyes closed with glasses head nodding with every thought, kind of looks like him too, i was SO close to interrupting myself from crying and asking him why he talks with his eyes closed, didn’t. i have a feeling it is going to distract me only more so in future sessions. i wish i had a tick like that, all i have is constant ear picking and obsessive letter counting.

remember i said don’t fall asleep with a band-aid on?

get a load of my pinky, thanks nana!

of course having it as tight as possible didn’t help. it’s fine now.

my modest amount of blue menu chicken strips and i even gave one back to fil. later on he was telling his mom that we (i) had eaten SO MUCH that day and therefore did not require an appetizer that i politely requested. sometimes fil gets himself confused with me.

now fil’s, see. remember this next time you open your mouth fil.

i’ve had this bag lady sweater for 5 years now.

sigh, miss this guy so much, it doesn’t even exist anymore! my aunt drew this.

ps. everyone! fil’s birthday party is on friday december 19 so if you want in, let me know not like i am STRESSED OUT ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING!

me: hi

Elizabeth: eyyyyyyyo
new tattoo eh

me: yes ma’am

Elizabeth: how exciting!

me: it’s scabbing now
and when i put lotion on it kills

Elizabeth: I bet
thats one thing I prob wont ever do
too big of a weinie

me: yeah right you are tougher than me
you can tolerate dick in your ass
i cry when i get an infant butterfly needle

Elizabeth: hhahah
dick in the ass is short lived
I couldnt sit there

me: i am quoting this chat so BE INTERESTING

Elizabeth: hahah

me: yeah but you like crave it
ew
sorry
ha

Elizabeth: it keeps things interesting

me: anyway based on that you could get a tattoo
it’s in your head the fear about it, really it isn’t that bad, then u get to a point where it’s tolerable, plus half a t3 helps and some rye and five million advils from being on your period

weird, bad picture, possible new sweater trend?

hi mom!

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saying bye to naked arm. these aren’t in order, sorry.

thank you for coming out, cameraman.

what?

the cheeks aren’t that rosy, that’s my blooooood. i barely bled at all actually but just as i was bragging about how much i wasn’t bleeding a whole bunch of area pricked up.

oh fuck was i nervous, as she was showing me the needles i almost barfed and fainted then i had to use the loo. also, great day to get your period.

it definitely hurts more in your head than it does you if that makes sense, i mean, it hurts a fuck of a lot but you get over it, the pain comes and goes.

goosebumpy.

thanks renita!!

so this was my reward for not being a fat fuck anymore, i wanted this blythe tattoo for over three years but i didn’t want to be a chunky chick with a blythe tattoo, that’s just sad. kidding. anyway i worked hard at eating right, exercising, and now thanks to anxiety toning down the booze. <-- takes a bow.

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Raymi Sings U2 from Phil Ogynist on Vimeo.

unrelated, from nacho nite with skidfanie.

today is the anniversary of john lennon’s death as well as my grandpa’s.

so yeah

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tomorrow after my THE RAPIST appointment, meeting the real deal guy for the first time super early (for me) i am doing something cur-azy that i’ve been subtly talking about for awhile now FOR MY FIRST TIME EVER. a promise or gift rather to myself for losing weight. i am both nervous and excited about it, stressed but kind of in shock because i don’t really believe it’s going to happen yet, and it will be filmed don’t worry.

lookit what my nice little buddy miranda giveded to me for freezies, right after she got in a mini car accident and we dropped off her unicorn painting. man that one half day w/o a camera i felt so, so, empty and useless. i had lunch with sharpie/samir at the gladstone that day while cameraless and you notice so many fucking things that nag your eyeballs and you can’t do anything about it.

s-p-o-i-l-e-d.

rocky, sigh. my dad has informed me that my niece is now a “bad girl” wuh-oh. gonna have to have a little aunty talk with her over christmas.

singing and drumming is hard, but how i tried. video evidence of that garbage to come.

the crazy lady’s house on my dad’s street.

oh you guise!

CUT IT OUT!

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NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! FULL HOUSE SPIN-OFF! excuse me while i find something suitable enough (think, moon) to JUMP OVER! i am beside myself with shock and awe and disbelief and glee i might even puke. this is like bringing someone you actually give a care about back from the dead. i have to go squeeze something until it explodes brb.

TGISunday not monday

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i have to go back and write some more bio cards up for each one, many had F words on them, family place right? i get the walls for two months, wicked. once the crazy of xmas is finished i’ll have a party, and add more paintings. i love you grapefruit moon!

fuck, i was hungry.

so there now you know where it is, 968 bathurst and this street. i wrote about GM before here their food will blow your brains out. (haven’t figured how to quick search old posts in wordpress yet that’s why i linked to blogspot, whatevs.)

then off to switch contemporary to drop off a painting for zeesy‘s fundraiser this wednesday dec 10 (you MUST go see she will be making a live appearance all the way from japan! and you can bid on some amazing art)

obama claus!

so cute.

yuula amazes me.

check ya later.

rush home to get ready for fil’s work party where i pretty much did the complete opposite of all my rules, I DANCED MY HEAD OFF!

this sweater swallowed me up too much in this dress, so i did not wear it after all. i wore my beige cardi for like one second, that place was balls hot.

dropped hat, yo nikes i know you want it if you could just look under there you’d see the hidden treasure beneath.

so frustrating.

banquet food is hit or miss, this was miss.

somewhere in there would be turkey.

liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiianne! her sister works with fil omfg quelle surprise! liane is back from shanghai, she was my favourite buddy from my england exchange and now she’s all grown up. i’ve been trying to dig up nerdy pictures of us from back then but can’t remember any search terms i used in the original post. here’s one for now.

then it was snl couch time, i didn’t even drink when we got home cos i obvs got blasted enough on wine at the work party. SMART. don’t worry i wasn’t the only one.

what a day.

then i woke up at 5am in an upset stomach panic remembering every stupid thing i said and did at the work party, refrained from taking a chill pill, an ultra strength tums sufficed. the only thing fil is concerned about me sharing with his coworkers was how cid nuzzles his ear and paws at him like a baby everyday. phew. good thing he didn’t overhear all the other shit i said.

ps. do not fall asleep with a band-aid on you would barf if you saw what my finger looks like right now.


Raymi Getting Ready from Phil Ogynist on Vimeo.

you can’t stop me

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um i have not see ONE fucking pigeon or rat you passive aggressive little babies. next time put in your notice something about loud abusive yelling THEN i will consider not feeding my little friends. yeah and thanks for the lesson about bird germs. see how i am treated in this place? hahaha. right now the squirrel is enjoying some popcorn sitting on top of the zero gravity lounger ACTUALLY staring in at me to tell me he needs more food, not kidding.

-snow white

sliced my finger on tin foil, like a paper cut EXCEPT TINFOIL guess how great that felt! i was secretly thrilled because it gave me an opportunity to use my new my little pony band-aids.

cid’s ears go flatter than that when he sees the squirrel.

how is that even comfortable for you?

learning matt’s camera, it’s coming along. ps. fil JUST got that new canon 5D mark ii that all the camera pervs are sweatin’ about. apparently thousands of people are waiting for this thing, like it’s the iphone of cameras. L-O-S-E-R-S. i am ten times more invisible now. thank you 5D.

amazingly tasty president’s choice tandoori chicken wings, the cause of my injury.

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cocaine much? how’s whitney? i dare you to watch this to the very end.

check out In My Bed Magazine, they’re new and did a little feature on me in the november issue that i was too lazy and selfish to bother linking to/mentioning. they are always looking for submissions, talent, you know, stuff magazines do/want.

how to not talk about yourself for a nite

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so tomorrow is fil’s christmas work party that i said yes we should attend, one part due to curiosity (what do these people look like?)(and i should let these people see what i look like, it’s only fair) and one part novelty, ok mostly novelty, and yes i am nervous about it. they know his girlfriend of four years is an artist of some sort and a writer with a popular website, they have nagged him for the url and he has been adamant about denying them access. basically i’m going there with zero material, which is great for this situation (not really) when your personality is uh colourful it’s kind of hard to be comfortable in a work atmosphere setting. when they talk shop i am going to be grinning my brains out and nodding so hard i’ll set off the fire alarm. fyi work nerds it is rude to socially alienate your co-worker’s spouse, and i know you don’t do it intentionally, you just have fuck all to say to this stranger. it’s kind of insecure.

i went to a work xmas party of fil’s before a few years ago, different company, i was bigger then and my hair was selma blair short = NO GAME. plus i was wearing a really bad dress. sometimes you think eccentricity will carry you that last mile, and sometimes yes it will and does, but mostly, sorry, it so doesn’t. in this situation especially. no one “gets” your babysitter potato sack dress because their focus exists in the corporate world alone. all they “get” is that you look dumpy and unladylike.

i cannot say the word raymi once tomorrow nite, i get to stumble over my words and accomplishments and what i normally have ten answers for i must tone down to one, or two. luckily at our table there will be a talker, you know you say something about a sprinkler and turns out this person invented irrigation.

your partner’s work function is NOT your place to shine which i guess is the root of my fascination of attending, smile nod, smile wider, show teeth, agree agree agree – because it is the complete opposite of who and what i really am, i feel like i am acting for the nite. i dunno, i get off on uncomfortable situations perhaps?

i feel fraudulent all the time, i feel inadequate all the time, i feel everything all the time, so whatever.

this was supposed to be a goofy little guide now it’s just a note to self, really.

i do not plan to compromise my entire existence don’t worry, i will wear my frye boots with this dress, i don’t know what sweater/shrug to wear with it though, my friend said if i pair my new belted sweater with this i will get cut eye from the office women, don’t know why though, maybe cos it would be bordering on that eccentricity shit i was talking about.

safe topics of discussion are cute/funny non-offensive viral videos on the internet, when someone brings up that fucking lion hugging its long lost owner video, do not say you saw it ten million years ago, subtly fill in the story gaps like you just remembered them yourself. do not talk politics. only do sarah palin impression if fil says so. don’t drink too much. do not dance. period. don’t cry when you see other couples dancing and poke fil incessantly under the table and sternly whisper in his ear about why he NEVER EVER dances with you. when fil says it’s time to go, GO. (i have a problem with instantly liking certain people too much and bonding with them when i first meet them thus swatting away fil’s hand when he gestures it’s time to leave) get drunk on the couch (instead of at the work party) watching snl. good nite.


Meet Green Thing from Green Thing on Vimeo.