Colleague set the camera settings to IMPOSSIBLE so we had a bit of a learning curve.

Luckily another adorable party photogress was there to capture our beauty.

I should do a post round-up of all last night’s party style shots of my perfect hands, I didn’t even have to enforce this on her, she requested it. I like getting honed in on at parties, I spy the encircling cameras out of my periphery and then at the right moment when eye-contact is permissible I nod and wink in a Clive Owen manner, the crowd parts and I take game show stance, flash ‘em the Vanna Whites and give them my card. I know that was money and I want it for my blob.

Nus was at the bar with Chris Brooker (a name that escapes me whenever I see him) to which I introduced him to Reagan by and he was no longer my enemy. I said to Michael (Nus) you can buy us a drink, he laughed, we left. I don’t blame him at those Boutique hotel prices. VICheapskates.

Ooh la la then I see my girls.

Christine, grab my suspenders, and Reg, lets pretend to kis- snap. Before they had a chance to contest, it was a perfect family portrait and I, am a genius. You’re welcome for that gals. I really wish I dragged you off with us, you’d have some def secret bloggers club skeletons to come out of the rest of your night, or blackmail material. Kidding! I’m an angel!

It was freezing out there but I brought my sweater, Ironic Swank juxtaposition look. Saw a guy hipster version outfit of me in the lounge downstairs, how cunning of him but anyway, when you wear black to an event, prepare to be missing your body parts in photos. Also, black makes you look hard see: OLD. So be careful.

I’m going to do the dead man’s float in that pool next year or if I get wasted enough at another party up there I’ll jump in Big Brother UK styles, that would for sure guarantee making the papers. Which is one of my SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS: Make the paper at least MONTHLY.

Christine what were we talking about here and can you give me your VIA Rail job I want to go to the East Coast and see my Little Raymis out there. (REVEAL YOURSELVES!) if you want links then you have to comment on my blob. #rules.

Classic bathroom shots, all people know this is Thompson bathroom, I didn’t know that til I posted pics of Jen and I in them. HOT.

Lets bounce. There was a guy up there that I wrote a little awkward anecdote about on my tumblr yesterday.

And so, I decided to take “MY BRAND” elsewhere.

My pink earrings matched this deflated vagina at least. AT LEAST!

So I’ve made some new friends, old time readers of my blog I ran in to at Portishead. Do you know any other rock and roller type bloggers who went to Portishead like I did? haha I don’t know what that has to do with anything other than I am not a poseur and these were coveted tickets like, the weeks and weeks of text arguments with my set of pals who wanted to be my plus one for it, Darius better start carrying a bow staff.

Did you know that I am also part native? Looks like it here. I am modelling a homemade bondage jacket. Poorly.

I’m like, Reagan, do you want to go to my friend’s place where there is like $20000 worth of adult toys? I mean, kooky action figurines? And like, some of them are freaks? I knew she’d be down. She said it was way more her kind of party. Carry on then!

I’m going to feature the artist of many of these emo detailed freakish sexual gothic pieces of art. Also a new friend.

Everyone gets a moustache photo taken when they visit, mine was last week after the Susan Sarandon ping pong party (isn’t that a great name for a variety show? No problem!)(Ps. Susan reads my blob now)(just kidding)(No I’m not)(yes I am)(just kidding)(just kidding)(Kristin Wiig rules). Ew look what I found, hate on KW. Wtf?

I love this bitch.

LA RAZA! Spanish for respect. Remember that!

I’ve been doing triceps like crazy right now since seeing these. I’m a lightweight again but I need to keep my tone. My torso looks like an arachnid now cos I’ve been doing mad sit ups.

Are we steam punks? I say homies.

I don’t even know what that is.

This was a very fun time.

Enhanced only by a three-legged replica of our family’s first ever and longest owned/lived/adored cat, a siamese. her name was Mocha and that is what I am calling this guy, which I told everyone and no one cared. Fine. I bet my dad and mum’s eyes are misting over right now.

Mom you have to meet this cat, it lets you cuddle it. It’s Mocha’s second chance plus 3 LEGS! Burly!

Thank god they don’t have that “rubics cube” I exploded into pieces at Harth which made me forget my cell charger for the weekend there when I put it down out of humiliation during my standing ovation for said exploding of a rubics cube in disguise. Don’t you feel like this should be in a book and you’re lying down in bed right now? Should I lose this too casual conversational tone I’ve affected over the years cos I think I am “all that” and a “bag” of “chips”?

Think it’s time for a Raymi Stella doggy walky break. REAGAN RAYMI SHOW RETURNS LATER!

so while all this cuckoo bananas was going down, I was getting nice emails like this:

“.. you’re getting the REASONS you’re hated all wrong. Yes, you’re hated alright. But not for why you seem to think so. Which is kindof the saddest part. People are smarter than you think and see so far through your fairy-lookatme-i’m SO special bullshit, do you really not thinhk so? Are you so far removed?

“I like when new trolls discover me, they fall all over themselves starting up dummy twitter accounts to troll me and comparing me to heidi montag. So naive and lazy these reactions to all things RTM.COM it never changes. They’re like this OMG WHAT? Pictures of herself! SO MANY! And her clothes! OOOH ^&%#&$#&! Like seriously people did you just stumble into the internet yesterday? How else do you get people interested in your life if you don’t fucking show it?”

NO. Nooooooooooooo girl. The thing is, I actually believe you to be very smart. MAYBE even as smart as you like to proclaim all the time. I know, SSSSHHHHHHH, you’re a genius, people are maaaaagnetized to you, you’re SO beautiful, you’re a SHELL OF DOLL BEAUTY, you’re so fucking smart and amazing, just everyone wants to fucking blow you. SSSHHHHHH. I know. And yet… I don’t buy it for a fucking second. You claim to be all show, show don’t tell, dont’ you? But you REALLY don’t think you’re blow a whole lot of hot fucking air around? Do you actually think this is what makes someone likeable, proclaiming their amazingness, TELLING you that you must be in love with them, that oh, I’m so thin and gorgeous and my hair is made of marshmallow and I can’t go anywhere without PILES of adoration and envy? YOU’RE ALL JUST JEALOOOOUUUSSSH. Eeww. Cut that shit short. No one it buying except you sad little Raymi turd loser army and your oldest dearest friends, and only cause they knew you before the asshole grew into this huge of a shitpile.

“How else do you get people interested in your life if you don’t fucking show it?”

Yes, SHOWING IS FINE. No one is telling you not to show your life. Or your body for that matter! That’s FINE, that is NOT. THE. PROBLEM. (I’d lay off the pout desperate loser face though, it’s so obvious) Showing your life is fine. Showing your life and TELLING PEOPLE how vain, shallow, sexy, thin, no sorry, I’m faaaaat today waaaaaaaaaah (do you not think girls who feel less than great about their body read your blog? That’s a nice thing to give them. I’m 120 lbs and boohoo, I feel faaaaaaat! You know better than this and I know so. Have you lost all sense of empathy? You claim to be SO sensitive to shit, well where is that then??).

Look, I don’t have the energy for this rigght now cause good lord I could go ON, but I’ll leave you with the synopsis: you are someone who could be someone great, hilarious, insightful, warm. Instead you’ve created this raging, shallow, absurdly self-involved, vainer than in humanly possible, BEYOND obnoxious, idiotic Hilton-Montag-Denise Richards-Tara Reid-whatever other moronic contribute-nothing airhead of the moment persona. I just wonder why. I KNOW you’re smart. ANd have substance. Why do you hide it in the disgusting shell that you do? Who told you that was the way to go???? Do you know ANYONE who likes, or will ever pay a fucking CENT for anything any of these deluded twats does?! Be honest, with yourself, do you? No. No.

You are just. So. Obvious. Everyone knows your act. Everyone hates your act. But maybe not the real you. Step out of it. And stop being such a phony, arrogant bitch. It’s not NEARLY as cute as you think.

My blog is a business guy fucking relax

Yeah, I GET THAT part. That is certainly not hard to tell.

What I’m saying is – are you actually proud of this fuckface girl you’re presenting to the world as your ‘business’? Really??? You know there are successfull bloggers, entertainers, personas with SUBSTANCE. With humility. With miles, universes, less ego/selfcenteredness/dipshitishness/shallowness/uppity faux-wannabe-rodeo drive-clawing urge. There are. Tons. Do you really think this “business girl” is the only one who’ll get you anywhere?”

Please leave me alone

These arrived while I was out with my mother. I blocked this guy on twitter who started an account EXCLUSIVELY to harass me while someone else started another one as @bipolarskank because I started one called @blogslave for my blog slave. I blocked them both and retweeted one of the disgusting things this teeteeticka character said and claire said she saw it and was disgusted. It really was a doozy, I forget what he said but it was so polarizing that I had to retweet it. I make content out of this garbage. He reveals himself in everything he says, my commentary is unnecessary. I didn’t even read the second email just replied with please leave me alone. Their twitter pic alludes to their being a man but then that comment about me talking about weight seems very girlish which is funny because it makes you react differently based on the possibility of a different gender delivering this garbage.

That being said, I know that I am real and I know that I like to establish grandiose goals for myself and then I reach them, so what le fuck? You get in my way, you try to bring me down, you email my clients, my mother, you spread shit and hate about me, you are obsessed with me admit it! It’s ok too! I mean, really, maybe one day you won’t do any better but it’s not my fucking fault, it’s yours! This is my blog, I made it out of nothing, out of free! We are all given the same access and opportunities for the most part in life, start your own blog, guy. Dye your hair blonde! Go to Rodeo Drive you are obviously obsessed with starlettes or tmz, sorry for wanting blond hair? You have woman issues, whatever gender you are. Anger issues too. Why don’t you get a therapist or you can send me $100 and I’ll counsel you cos honestly, your mental problems are yours to deal with, I got my own thank you very much.

This hangover is brought to you by a wicked party from last night.

Go live and love your lives and kill them with awesome!

Kenneth Koles, about $500. HAHA. That is awesome. Those are the FUCK AVRIL LAVIGNE shoes (autographed by her too). She has a ‘fuck’ tattoo, but it is funny because it says Fuck (with a Registered R sign) and her face is right beside it. To me, it reads Fuck Avril.

Honestly, it has been one bomb after another with this crazy story unfolding about a girl in germany AND it seems a girl in the UK impersonating me, for four years and one year respectively (NOT RESPECTFUL AT ALL IF YOU ASK ME) and I have felt sickly about it, paranoid, sketched out, I feel violated and enraged, dumbfounded, amazed, and so on. Just when you think you have seen and done it all, something like this happens. One of the guys this person strung along is a semi-famous dude, designer, and she used MY likeness to lure him in and she succeeded and NOW he and I are talking and becoming buddies and he’s gonna send me these shoes so THANK YOU YOU STUPID $^@#^ CRAZY BITCH! I am now going back to the gym and getting healthier stronger and better in case I have an actual single white female scenario happen to me. I figured the smattering of SWF raymi blogs there are out there and buds I have bosomed with through the years over the, well, me, was enough but no. You can go further with this apparently and BE ME! This same chick has an accomplice too, and they used my friend alicia’s photos, I haven’t even told her yet til we got to the bottom of it but I don’t think we will, this idiot is a ghost. The german girl posed as me for FOUR years on a german hardcore site (The hardcore mag/site owner said maybe 5). There are 40 pages about this entire story all in german on it, I just got a login. Apparently this phenomenal story was going to be sprung on me in interview by said hardcore site which I was on board for unbeknownst of the german girl raymi (!!!!!!!! O_O!!!!!)(I just had a semi-black out there this blows what little mind I have left to blow) but a messageboard dude beat them to it and told me on facebook. So I have to look at these boards and it’s reminding me of vice days and being trolled and blaaaaah. Luckily I have no more feelings.

So i guess one day she was cruising my blog and decided she wanted to BE ME ON THIS DAY FOREVER.

closer look.

Here’s “my” flirtomatic profile holy crap right, bottom two left photos.

So the Uk broad has strung along a lot of dudes and it’s making the rounds and my guest counter up there cranked 24/7 which is adding to my creepy feeling :(. I’ve also been getting some new shitty trolling from the “regular normal” trolling variety? Hahaha. Wow it’s like Good trolling and Bad trolling. Before and after.

The two Uk girls, she either made up two voices or there were two but they killed off alicia last week and the story broke. Alicia’s name is Bethan and my name is Lucy here. Lucy wrote instruction manuals in Canada (evidence of young stupidity, not a real job super vague but explains canadian setting raymi photos, upwards of 500 of MY photos were used.)

All these guys are heartrboken about the death of bethan (alicia), actually forming feelings for her, one pic used is of alicia and i at the skydome for flashback friday and I have black hair. Lucy jumped from black to blonde raymi!!!!!!!!!! !!!! I am floored by this. Do you know how this feels it feels like my stomach was taken away from me? It’s so gross. It feels so so gross. It’s gross enough how exposed I am already online it takes enough balls for me to do this and insanity but now this, it’s insulting and makes me feel gutted. My ex said to feel proud. yeah whatever.

And here I thought I had a huge following on a hardcore board because of my monster bikini haha. it’s cos she posed as me on the messageboard which linked to her facebook profile and twitter!!!! WTF! I think they killed bethan to get out of this mess, guys tried to make dates with Lucy and they’d make up insane excuses, one being a broken leg, hospital, in the end “lucy and bethan were in hospital lots”. BUT! There is a bank transaction which we’re going to force this guy to pony up cos Lucy sent money to one guy to buy his cd (What a fucking idiot!)(her!) so you can go to the bank and say give me the name on this transfer. This is like a tom hanks caper now what’s that movie called that was filmed in Paris? mind is blank. The Da Vinci code. Oh also there is a small hardcore community and german raymi has befriended tons of girls too and totally lived in a fantasy make believe virtual reality and has made me mega-more cult-like as a result. So, THANKS AGAIN!

As a social experiment gone horribly awry, these guys are now talking to the actual girl of/in the photos (me), and she’s a bitch nightmare nothing like the princess made out to be over the years HAHAH! One guy begged me to stop yelling at him over email. They’re all a mess. There’s maybe 6 of them? This is far worse than anything I could ever conjure up on my own. They’re humiliated. This is so hipster grifter. outspoken.de is the messageboard magazine in question. I am having mad patience issues with getting in to it proper, well I am now in my handle is RAYMIMINX. I wanted to put a photo of what it looks like, like a german suicide girls but anyway I found this photo. Isn’t it great?

As is the following and how our false raymi must have felt for many years. FIVE! This photo I stole from Darius awhile ago, not from german site.

…actually, I made a bit of an interesting discovery today, could be closer to uncovering the truth than I thought x

one guy just sent me this.

Oh and I spoke on Fb to one girl who is allegedly friends with them, an accomplice! I’ll fetch the chat before it’s too late.

****** no, it was ‘lucy’ who said you were best friends….you didnt contest it!

Welcome to another edition of DINKS GONE MILD! Doin’ shit for no reason other than the season (of pumpkins). (shouldn’t I write ad copy instead of this stupid blog?) Do you know what a DINK is? Other than a wicked burn if delivered effectively. A DINK is a double income no kids couple. All this time I thought I was just a person in the world living their life, wrong. I’m a statistic!

It smelled retarded. Like pot pourri limoncello.

They had every thing known to man in a jar. We bought chipotle salsa, it was ludicrously smokey and burned my brains out last night at Sunday scrabble. Dinks enjoy Sunday Scrabble.

Pumpkin Donuts. We got a bag of 8 and Britt I swear I was going to save you one but I put the plate on the table during scrabble and we couldn’t stop. Yesterday was def a binge eating day, I am ashamed.

We got there late cos one of us insisted that we go despite weather and my tardiness. I take my time, I like to have my weekends. I live my life at 90 million miles an hour, yet there is pressure to go out and experience this thing called life especially on Sundays, in autumn. Conundrum.

I look like a lard ass i looked like a stripper girlfriend imitation of the girls next door northern brampton style with those huge cans plus my sweater vest is thick, toddler sized. I keep it pin-up as often as poss.

Oh jesus. Smothered in cinnamon sugar.

Same colour as my eyebrows. Dinks buy ironic treats. We didn’t get to do the corn maze, it was closing. You can do it in the night which is why we thought it would all be open. The weather changed things? I dunno. I get bored fast so I was fine with our mini intense minimalist tour, we bought fudge and a bottle of cab franc, no wonder he suggested that one it was most expensive. DINKS problems no biggie. It was delicious and I hoarded it at the scrabble table after forcing a sip on my dad to prove my dinkness. Ok I’ll stop. It was cold too and my fingers were going wizard white. I have poor circulation.

I’m sorry but my outfit killed it right down to my desert trek clarks that I have climbed a mountain in, actually a few, partied you name it.

Too bad Candyman is a boring movie. It’s scary as hell though. This is scary movie season. We saw the commercial for that movie with the imaginary friend of the little girl and were terrified to death oh my god I love that so much oh my god im so scared right meow! ahahhaha! aghh ! I am also beside myself in cramp pain too and chugging coffee and waiting for the acetomephatemaine whatever that word is kicks in O_O 0_0 o_O HALP! UPDATE: PAIN GONE GOOD.

Thanks a lot mom for ingraining this cheesy shitty cottage home country penchant a la martha stewart. Go through tons of candles. Patricia Romance holla! ‘n kin I get a What’s up Antiques Roadshow, I almost wrote roadkill antiques roadkill haha what the fuck? I think I get a mental leave free pass today in my little story tale blob. Entertainment is better when you go full mental.

I look fat. Donuts won out over these cookies. We were wearing matching DINK sweaters.

Our invitations must have got mixed up in the mail.

Oh my whimsical barf puke much?

I yelled out TORI SPELLING GRADUATES! Teacher goes, DONNA MARTIN! Blahaha I am cute.

Those are legit beatle cards from back in the day. obvs.

I’ve been in like ten vice mags. How many have you been in? I have a three pager too. Teh trollz hate on me for this but whatever guy, it’s called proaction. Don’t take your inaction out on me.

This garbage was in this issue.

Mom’s either gonna be pissed or delighted by my absconding with her little witch boots. Absconding is an embarrassing word I used in THE LAST MINX. The first story of “Raymi.” When I first wrote to vice magazine I needed a zippy name so I stole raymi from my story and made her street, hip hop/dj-ecstasy club kid. At the same time Fritz the cat was around too, coincidentally.

If you want them bring me back my tracey boots then. If not, then fair is fair. Thanks for working them in!

They’re fabulous high-anklets, designer? I know they were expensive. Witch-like, now hipster for sure. Mennonite.

Great close-up on my zit. Someone was feeling artistic.

I look like a potato.

It was a good time. I beat my dad each game. Teacher and Alison one won won one (DYSLEXIC!) each. My dad contested every word of mine cos he couldn’t “handle expressions.”

Then we watched another BB UK when we got home but couldn’t make it through an episode DINK PROBLEMS!

Hallelujah it’s finished!

We watch a lot of big brother uk and geordie shore and talk in accents now. Deal with it until I get a new show to watch. I think my dad was mighty impressed with my accent ability, better than he is now. Oh and I’m stacked cos I wore a bra obvi. Cartoon character much? It’s worth it cos my girls respond favourably to fighting gravity and now that I’m gettin’ on up there like an old bird I should wear a brassiere more often though everyone knows precisely how flat I am so it’s clear that I’m misleading. There needs to be a designed Raymi bra for flatterish chicks.