sort of blogged these before sort of didn’t. mel and i were looking through my photos not too long ago and came across this folder and she said they were awesome pictures why didn’t i blog them all? after looking through your personal archives and time passes you forget things. so if you’ve seen scraps of these before or i repeat myself, sorry.
here i am doing what i do best GOING ON A DATE. it might also be what i do worst. more on that later.
this is date two with guy i picked up at my gym who i think hates me now but whatever he is pretty crotchety and i totally am not the right kind of person to tolerate his anal moodiness so match from hell pretty much and i think i’m too fat for him i blame all my date failures on my body and not at all on my winning personality disorder.
we had a great time though and we never even blasted. go me.
i’m going here later on today. if i make it passed round one of initial meet and greet stages.
see the golden flakes? amazing.
i guess we ordered a lot.
i wish there wasn’t something on my face like that.
my hair looks totally stupid. this summer heat wave and my hair cut ruined my life. working in a bar under third world working conditions (no a/c) also fucked it all up too.
sake cooler. i need one of these.
mental hair. that jumper exploded apart too many times in the car but luckily gym guy had a huge safety pin for some happy coincidence to pin it together again. i bought that at urban outfitters.
the exposed brick reminds me of the underground path beneath (underground, beneath, nicely redundant) manulife center. ghetto.
this photo is shit i know for fact there was a better one. can’t be bothered to dig it up. i don’t look like this anymore anyway so who even cares. social irrelevance.
nothing like seeing crabs when you are eating raw fish.
we sake walked over to the soho metropolitan for drinks in the bar.
those things are amazing.
hot mess garbage.
definitely posted the betters of this batch.
gym guy is the best to people watch with he is super catty and smart and snotty, snottier than me. we made fun everybody and got totally tanked.
we copied one of these drinks when we went to his cottage the following weekend. or whenever we went. i just found some uber adorable photos of myself from then i never posted.
i look at this and all i think is I WANT MONEY. fuck boyfriends it’s all about money.
i’m in a strange mood right now.
i do remember blogging a parkdale martini joke in the past.
look at my arm and nip slip.
this is an example of not caring.
stephanie tanner face.
fat arm complex.
lamp post lit complex.
forgot to measure my legs before leaving the gym today. i had my assessment and the tape measure was out. i’ve reduced a lot of body fat.
i want cuter girlier glasses, enough of this malcolm x shit and you can forget about me wearing these with my hair down i look like garth.
that little pub all on its own there looked precious to me.
alright that’s enough of that.
if you want to date me you can bid on me for charity on february 10 at the hideout and if we fall in love maybe we can be each other’s valentine’s date or i can bring you to a singles mixer which essentially should be called, none of are good enough for the other so lets get slammered.
Below are the details of the event.
Date & Time: February 10, 2011. Doors are at 8PM.
Location: The Hideout, 484 Queen Street West, Toronto, ON M5V 2B4
Cost: $5 at the door
Bachelor/Bachelorette Cost: Bidding will begin at $25.00 – there will be
10 bachelors and 10 bachelorettes – we will auctioning off 5 men and 5
women at 9:30pm and then the awesome cover band we have lined up will play
a set and the second group will be auctioned off at 11pm. * All of our
amazing people being auctioned off first will have to be there by 9pm
sharp & the rest by 10pm. We will figure out who goes where once all
participants are confirmed.
*Please note that the band and venue costs are being covered by The
Hideout so door cost will go directly to Heart & Stroke. *
– Highest male & female bidders from the audience will each receive a
Nella Bella handbag (f)/duffle bag(m) as well
as a $100 bar tab from Sleeman’s.
-The 20 couples will be given the option to either spend the evening
together or discuss plans for a date on a different day.
this will be great to see which ones of us get the highest bid or the lowest. i’m sure there will be some crushed and/or inflated egos. to save face maybe casie and i can pair up for a combo-date. i think we both put out. depending. naturally.
here i am right now and here is an awkwardly embarrassing clip of what i thought was a brilliant performance at the time.
now feast your ears on this one.
i have an audition tomorrow i am nervous and excited about. i am trying to go zen about it and not over-prepare. that’s enough jinxing. also on thursday i am doing another BOOM party this time it’s a MEET THE COUGARS jamboree so please do come out. if i cook for you then you don’t have to pay. what fun and how generous, right? 808 COLLEGE STREET 2PM.
i cried today during my assessment. the muscle weight i have is fucking with me large. i know i look better and the weight has been redistributed but it’s just frustrating living the life i live eating and drinking the way i do and i’m just about to sign on for another festival of chefs. something’s gotta change. i have to take on cuisine like a wine tasting, chew don’t swallow. i’ll have a big wad of napkins full of mush. then i’ll compost it.
in a week or two is my meltdown phase where the fat comes off more and the sleek tone is revealed. i have reduced my body fat over 2%. that’s a lot apparently, for women. i still cried though.
went to an after hours saturday night. it was quite the experience i wrote about it for sofi’s blog. she said the following nice things
P.S. I am not licking your ass or sucking up or anything, but I think you are a bit of a genius. I will buy your book.
THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH THIS STORY IS LIKE JACK KEROUAC MEETS JACQUELINE SUSANN MEETS LAUREN MOTHERFUCKING WHITE.
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa amazing! What form of alternative universe do you live, because this funtime party is NOT the Toronto I am familiar with. This is so awesome. Thank you for doing this.
clearly i am a professional dater so obviously you want to pay the heart and stroke foundation to court me.
i had haggis for my first time. it was squishy. that cheese was amazing. we inhaled that platter in under two minutes.
i thought i was the hottest girl there. um, i just changed my mind.
not to advertise for free or anything but this is the best coaster.
i got blamed for this. TWICE. saturday night i got blamed for all sorts of things by older dowdier chicks it really pissed me off. that paper hadn’t even touched my hand, it’s pbc’s poem he was going to read (that he still read) then it was on fire and guess who was the one to pour beer on it to save the pub? that’s right, ME. i was like oh you scotsmen are so cheap and drunks you’d rather the bar burn down around you then waste some of your pint. then one woman to me says ok watch the candle, in a nice way, ok fine yeah i got that arleady but then this other woman down the table says can i have that paper? as i am lining it up for this photo here and i say, why is that? knowing exactly fucking why she’s requesting it. she goes, SO IT DOESN’T SET ON FIRE AGAIN in total teacher voice. me, calmly (fuming) reply yes sure just let me take this picture of it first. both times me trying to get a shot of it and i get lectured twice before i can even take the fucking picture. i take the picture and toss the paper down the table to/at her. melodie says to her i think she’s fine. i have never been treated like an inept child so much before in my life before being blond. i swear.
i must be off now.