i regret nothing

just wait til later. also might i add that if you pay attention you can hear how my brother pronounces my name. how it is pronounced. eat shit haters.


the most magical thing to happen to me. before midnight the magic stuff is to of happened. CANNOT WAIT.


the spirit and tradition of christmas is to be bombed by dinner. check.


is my pretending to care about christmas showing?


well there’s no boyfriend under the tree so i guess santa kinda blew it. it’s ok, i’ve broken a couple of hearts this past week so everything’s right in the world.


the holiday music playing throughout the house right now makes me feel like i’m in a shopping mall. i’m still at the dining room table waiting for this uber festive video of me singing enter sandman at wrong bar during the fubar party OMG DAD STOP TINKLING CUTLERY I AM GOING TO SET YOU ON FIREEEEE. haha he just said pretend i’m at boom in the kitchen or something and get over it.


not to be a fag or anything but i am a total fag for these.


gave one to my bro’s gf. FINE. i stretched it out too much anyway and i think 8 is enough for me. i want to turn everyone around me into me.


papa goes to visit my nana every night at the hospital. they are adorable. he plays snooker all he wants with his boys, enjoys his wine, living the bachelor dream, no nagging or bitching but still every night he goes to the hospital to send her to bed. precious.


my bow contribution. i am so creative. nana says auntie winnie (her sister) reads my blog everyday and thinks i am very creative and talented and a great writer. it’s not until you hear it from someone else do you realize it’s true so now nana thinks i am very successful. FINALLY.


i dressed up just for her too to protect myself from nanaisms and it worked.


are you going to a party lauren? yep, yours. just yours nana. she didn’t believe it.


mom is sweating my boots so bad i was this close to giving in. she will not shut up about it. she called costa blanca at oakville place. newp. i only bought them on a desperate halloween whim for my tracey cougar outfit. i can’t have anything nice that i like without her biting my style or demanding it. we’re like turning into the same person and i don’t even care i’ve already made peace with the fact that i am dying alone.


you should have seen me in the mall. i got all my shopping done in an hour and a half. chocolates for nana. mom said she’s chowing down on christmas chocolates like crazy and losing weight cos she hates the diet hospital food.


the hypodermic needle disposal container really amps up the festive what is this family portrait. hospital christmas fuck yeah! letting mom keep my headband.


family’s pride and joy my niece. mom tried to get in my head about that dress and hailey now being too cool for it. she’s in that cool stage you have to tread carefully. tons of attitude and lip and eye rolling. my brother and i dosed it out (and still do) copiously so can’t really be surprised. it stops us in our tracks a bit though. i can at least be rest assured that she’s not my daughter so i just sit back and enjoy the ‘tude in all its splendid glory all the while dressing her up exactly like me. she says she copies me but doesn’t mean to, it just happens, said it wicked defensively too. yep, totally my relation.


nana is the orig no.01 diva in our family. she’s little but man, so feisty. mom said she has a good arm on her too, when she and mike and kim would lip off and beat it down the hall one of nana’s heels would make contact before they could race up the stairs to safety hahaha FAMILY SECRETS BLOG EDITION BEGINS. she asked if my tattoos come off and i snapped NO NANA! she asked me that when i first got blythe done. oh what about your wedding then? over her shoulder as i was hugging her i mouthed to my mom i doubt you’ll make it til then. oh relax. maybe i should just marry the next retard just for my nana’s sake. i bet she’d like that. she wants me to be with an older man. i told her i’m done with older. spent my entire life turning myself into a trophy for some old bastard and for what? one day i woke up twenty-seven like what the hell happened?


melucas i think are coming by tonight to holiday rip’er with us.



laura secord cake.



merry christmas my internet friends. i like watching christmas happen on the internet (twitter) it’s funny, everyone’s wasted by the time i get out of bed and avoiding their families. twitter is overcapacity. KEEP VOTING PLEEEEEASE my mom’s obsession with it is making me obsessed too it’s like trying to win canadian tired money or something, so unimportant yet important!

here’s my mom’s pics.


everyone was mad at us for taking so long getting ready and coming over. it’s not my fault you guys started drinking so early. pace yourselves next time or nap that shit off. mom kept us up all night long talking my head off in bed. don’t get crazy moms stoned if you plan on going to bed early, good grief.




dad set aside two wrapping paper tubes i am going to whip my brother in the head the second he gets here cannot WAIT. check my nana’s signature nana lips. FUTURE.


someone will give her a proper pedicure and file down those nails.


mom, you are not me. deal with it. told her to pose like that. hehh.


hi winnie!


doesn’t my brother look hot with his beard? he looks more brian austin greeny that way. he said i was “trying to do pretty face” while i was posing for a photo. dickhead.


i am turning into a wax-like statue. i’m getting more fit, you can tell in the face even though in some photos i look like a fucking cow (t-shirt arm cut off and big stupid white dress is to blame) i assure you i have a chiseled mid-section and my hip bones are coming back and i’m getting brad pitt pelvis now i just have to set it all off with a tan and bingo bango back in business.


my hair is retarded. nana loved it. said i looked like a movie star. i confused every single person we passed in the hospital and grinned at every doctor eyeballing me. ho ho ho.


like him for example. saw him before he saw me and said to nana now this guy’s in for a treat. flashed my big toothy whites and gwen stefani red lipstick as we wheeled on by. nana loved it she’s the queen sheeba. at 80(ish, younger but we round it up) she still dyes her hair, refuses to give up the glam. so this means i have 60 more years of makeup and hair oh fuck that’s a lot of money.




little pixie. that size is meant for an 8-9 yr old mom was like no get her 12. no man she’s skinny. fat kids get fat sizes i KNOW i am right here. i should be a professional personal shopper.


beep beep cunts coming through.


i look like the muse for some emotionally unstable brooding delusional jobless poet. AIMING HIGH. it’s all in the nose.


gave hailey this headband. she is so spoiled. i’m giving her my phone when i’m done with it too. hmm what did i have at twelve? zits, depression, greasy hair, foul attitude, NO COMPUTER. i actually used a typewriter in grade 7 for my projects and i typed on thick green stock and if i got one typo i was such a perfectionist i’d retype it all over again i didn’t care for the typewriting erase function it was too stampy. i watched casino from the dining room while typing up my forbidden city book report. TWICE. that movie is long. by like 1am i looked like courtney love.

for all the loners on this day, thinking of you. don’t worry, there’s always vices to turn to. my aunt is on the way with the turkey. dad’s on beer one. stay tuned for live christmas blog updates. i think i might assault the exercise bike a bit before getting dressed. actually no i won’t feeling lazy. dad’s on beer two. i’m going to brush my teeth i’m still in pajamas and alice cooper mascara.



is my pretending to care about christmas showing?

Rat In A Cage
to me

show details 2:20 PM (3 minutes ago)

Your title cracked me up so I thought I’d send you this. Merry
Christmas & enjoy that Boxing Day thing, too.


it’s so weird to see all these people walking by the house. christmas walking. shouldn’t you be fighting in your livingrooms right now?

it’s christmas and we’re all in misery






had the special in-house made hot sauce at fat cat and was a bit too big for my briches about how much heat i could stand. i coulda gone without the milk, really it was brought out for melodie. you just don’t see enough people drinking milk in bars these days. do they serve it at the clockwork orange bar? is that place any good? when i stopped seeing the red flag in that hood i stopped walking by korova milk bar so i forgot about it.


love this place. it was trust the chef wednesday. no problem. chef matthew is a pro. woah i just saw they have a patio. see you in spring.


starter. i love onions done up this way. butter and onions when cooking are deadly, the smell is so compelling and inviting, intoxicating. top a cheese and cracker with browned onions and die of pleasure. all your skid friend’s minds will be blown and it’s super easy. there’s also a bunch of mushrooms atop this, i forget which kind. some loser left me a comment on my cafe du lac post only once i was in the star flipping out about my AUDACITY of reviewing food, restaurants, if i don’t know what i’m talking about cos i couldn’t identify a mushroom (who fucking cares about mushrooms?) ok then superstar, why don’t YOU go out and do what i do exactly how i do it and call it entertainment then. foodie world is in a twist over me. so many passive aggressive clearly directed at me quips on twitter about bloggers with no cred vs food critics. um, who reaches more? who pays attention to food critics? if someone comes to toronto for a weekend and wants to check some chic haunts who are they going to ask, the gruff unhip demi-god fat mouth OR the girl who makes her living having a good time and showcasing it to those wanting to emulate that same great time featured in a post chock-full of resto photos front of house to kitchen? think about it. taste the burn.


my review of these tights i cannot give you as i am not a legitimate tights critic. i didn’t train in hosiery at george brown so, you know, maybe you should ask a qualified professional that’s really what you should do because god knows anything i have to say on the topic of tights would just be invalid because i haven’t spent years wearing them. even though i have. cool logic much?


you are not allowed to be enterprising or good at what you do, or do it period, if others are doing it. every time i roll out a raymi food feature i see the nastiest things in my comments. rival restaurants, their food geek groupies, they all have something to say. you don’t have to be jealous, just cos it didn’t occur to you to make up a taste menu to be photographed and gorged by a blogger first doesn’t mean you have to fling shit at those who have. you could still invite me ’round you know, it is possible to live to dine again and again. gasp.





my foodie feature reviews, yes, because they ARE reviews, the idea for how i do them i gleaned from infamous blogger xiaxue of singapore. she has eclipsed and transcended every single “established” or “qualified” critic, reviewer, whathaveyou there is and she’s smart too. when i first came across her i much felt like how one must feel when they first come across me. you want to hate. narcisstic photos, opinions you disagree with, swear words, cuteness. you become addicted inevitably, whether you like or hate, you know it’s entertaining and possesses the hallmarks of what one wants out of their pop culture these days and then more than that. i was blown away by her food reviews, shock and awe and jealous. all she does is eat and she looks like that, totally petite, princessy, perfection. it all makes sense. i want to look at her eat. it’s fascinating. not everyone can get away with overkill on the internet but they can when they lure us in like a snake charmer and then blow us away. you have my vote.


so about five years ago i started photographing my food, my dates with my ex, from beginning to end. you live in a city you go out a lot and as a blogger you need your content. my food reviews would only have like one picture of me cos my ex it was like pulling teeth plus i was a little shier cos the city folk are assholes about cameras it’s like you’re the only one in the world who has a digital camera sometimes.


now, this practice is what we call accruing experience via real life so therefore yes, i am qualified just as much if not more than the regular joe. i give out restaurant suggestions constantly, i know exactly where to go in this city for a date, work lunch, where to take the in-laws, where to pick up, and so on. it does matter what the blogger says because the blogger is the influencer. people have been asking my advice on shit on the internet for ten years, relationship advice, music advice, movies, whatever, it’s cos i am one who willingly divulges opinions constantly (shit man i’ll even give you opinions of my opinions). this makes me a critic. a professional life reviewer. someone like your mother. i don’t care if it pisses off some boring crank who missed the boat on packaging themselves as a commodity and clued in on the fact that maybe a food review is more interesting with dazzle.


this is what WITH DAZZLE means.


personally, it also makes me feel better to jazz it up. if you look good on the outside then you feel good on the inside. i’m not saying i am the president of good looking or anything, i’m just saying when you combine everything like i do, spread yourself around some, and put a pink bow in your head, people get angry. blame it on xiaxue. she’s right. she got it right and you are getting it wrong so instead of trying to fight it why not embrace and appreciate it. you can only cycle through facebook so many times right? girls on look book are they fashion experts? damn fucking straight they are you will never know more about fashion than at the age of twenty, that’s when you’re on your game and able to be daring and the older you get the less you care or pay attention. it is work to keep at it. when i walk around forever 21 and i’m too lazy to invent myself an entire outfit i just check out what my fellow shoppers are wearing and cut out their stupid over-doing it over-accessorized crap, and pull from the DO’s, shave off the DON’Ts. take that girl’s heart necklace, that girl’s pencil skirt moccasin combo, and then that girl’s boho bag. that shit will not happen in northern getaway alright. the point is these girls clearly didn’t go to fashion school but are they qualified style influencers? how is that ok but it’s not ok for me, someone with many years of actual urban food eating experience, photographing, REVIEWING, to go head-to-head with a traditional foodie geek? to top it off, i made my own business out of it, i am winning. that’s the entire point. winning is not allowed. wah. wah. are we going to cry foul play on bloggers for another decade now? are you CNN getting in on this whole blogging thing that the kids are doing now? were we only blogging yesterday? didn’t you see this coming? stop sleeping at the wheel.


i work very hard. i work very hard like you work very hard and i don’t sleep enough. i personal train three times a week in the morning. when i’m done it’s still an hour til noon and then i move on to the next task and the next and the next. i am not just some blogger, some blogger is just some blogger.


if you let yourself go don’t be surprised if a newer model beats you at your game. i am not competing against you i am competing against myself.


dog eat dog world.


rosemary turkey. delicious.


proper REVIEW later.


elliptical time.

keep voting i don’t know why the hell i’m losing and i don’t care. clearly it’s more important to her, she doesn’t even rank on alexa. she added me to facebook then de-added me. cuckoo.

muse your illusion


hello and welcome.


kinda gross kinda hilarious.


look at that little bee in the hive. can there be two queen bees? we had an argument over who was gold and who was silver then i stated i was platinum. the casie raymi show might make you want to blow your brains out, like jersey shore, therefore it is compelling television.


ripped’er good the nite prior and still showed up and did our thing thang. other hangover partiers from the night prior who couldn’t do the same, tsk tsk and you bet your ass ‘dems fightin’ words haha. you know who you are. casie was the perfect little hostess. love her.


my little brosz7ki showed up with the best christmas present for me ever, a hangover. which means one beer in and it’s hilarious town. it’s the gift that keeps on giving, your big polish mouth. i made his salmon bagel with extra love just for that.


admiring and doting on the sixteen year old little raymi (daniel) who showed up, first too, and he’s so shy it was adorable so can i get you a beer? i ask, he’s like no, i’m sixteen. uh whoops guess not then how about some pancakes? no problem. casie and i are going to host a getting laid symposium for all the social media guys out there. it’s really simple, really. it’s called MANNING UP and quittin’ with this shyness shit. fyi look how motherly i look i just came from my warm kitchen with snowflakes floating slowly by the window over the sink and i was baking you cookies and listening to all of your worries and then i gave you a big reassuring hug.


what a brunch for him eh? ambush! stay in school kid!


taking my personal trainer‘s order and pretty much everything he ordered was f’d up. not my fault. bailey punched it in and i told her every (diva) specification james laid out for me. peameal grilled not flat top, tomatoes not potatoes and three ridiculous super well done scrambled eggs. he sent it back. you’ll see. oh bother.


hangover section.


little meower wendi shows up with a present that i did not understand at all until i was cooking. SMRT.


microphone tongs i TOTALLY needed these and they’re EXACTLY what i’ve always wanted i woke up that morning and was trying to decide what one object (if any) could make my life complete. bingo!


i’m really good at pretending right? hahah. that’s stew i’m blocking.


fyi it’s mean to give someone something in a wine gift bag that isn’t a bottle of wine.


stew goes over his order that took me forever to get out for him cos there were a few orders for “real” customers in the way first, while james talks shit in my ear about whatever. i am learning how to tune him out.


see! evidence. writing it all down. meanwhile stew looks like the ring. which is the movie where their faces get erased in pictures?


pancakes and bacon. simple. last to get his food hahaha. more people kept arriving and somehow got their way more complicated orders ahead of poor daniel.


one of many valuable life lessons i’m sure he gleaned yesterday. just give me a second to make up some kind of funny irrelevant life lesson he could’ve learned um, waiting around with urban hungover creative go-getting types at brunch is enriching can’t possibly narrow it down to one singular lesson. there. it’s called the future. soak it in.


the man himself tony checking in on us kids.


again with the white bread and heavy mayo. i guess some people can just eat garbage and look great forever.


shawn (spelled the right way, same as my brother) arrives.


of course.


order punching time.


my coworkers. columbia on the right was snappy at me, i liked it. i kept trying to get him to eat scraps, none of them would. so professional.


cupcake cake concoction. super heavy on the icing. like i need more to spazz out by.


i had a slice because i am a pig but more so it’s rude to deny cake you didn’t ask for for some reason. bad form and manners.


mr. ward rolls on in and i’m talking more shit to someone else and you can see a guy eyeballing me curiously albeit skeptically against the wall there.


maybe he was looking at this.


remember when i was a smart person? that ended around grade 8.


fun fun fun. i kept going ok now what, now what, done, now what. next? what’s next? over-eager helper spazz.


brunch is easy to cook it’s very straightforward but left to my own devices i’d have to actually train and learn where everything in the kitchen lives. i don’t think brunch on a sunday is easy or fun though.



columbia kept going hot stuff behind you meaning don’t move suddenly even though i’d be standing stock still like a mummy not even flinching so it started to get on my nerves a little i then decided it was rippin’ time for columbia. not one of my jokes went over well and then i had to do the defensive paranoia back pat pedal my way out of whatever insulting thing i just said. being me is exhausting especially in high stress moments.


sending it back. no one is willing to take responsibility for it (they never do in the service industry) so basically it was james’ fault. yes.


the first thing i said this morning in training was like, of ALL the orders to f up that’s the last one to f up. at least it’s funny. to me.


cracking his own pepper. diva. what is stew showing me on his phone? oh and i see mr. nus too.


casie giving april stink eye looks like. kidding. think it’s camera guy stink eye.


i wonder if my left arm is going to atrophy pressed against my body like that like that guy norm macdonald always impersonated on snl, which president? that’s my I AM THINKING arm. oh hi christine.


i was a machine. no one believed i was actually cooking their food. what the hell did you think i was doing up there the entire time exactly in that apron, doing my nails?


my nicoise salad mmmmmmmm favourite. put it down and went right back to work.


making a benny boom for stew. salmon eggs florentine basically. BENNY BOOM 10.99
Nanuk smoked salmon, fresh baby spinach


bean salad. i love the little ramicans. fancy. the extra class presentation mile pays off instead of having sloppy wet beans all over the plate. see how columbia is hawk-eyeing my steez jeez guy it’s just bean salad relax ahaha.


shoving my way by.


so fast you can’t even get a clear picture. having central flashbacks now.


i even bussed tables. what other employee shows up on time with a film crew, does all this then blogs about it? um, employee of the month plaque please to go along with my microphone tongs shadow box.


mmm starving.


april you have amazing brows.


i love those paintings.



party time excellent.



it was a really fun time i don’t know why i stress so much.


me and my new watch which i have to set.


brain’s still whirring.


aaaaand now it’s mimosa time.


the italian way. no champagne flutes here.


just a mini guy.


then i saw the “fresh juice” jug the oj came out of and went to town on that. what is this beckers in minden?


yes yes we get it raymi likes booze.


interview wrap up i hope half the philosophies (aka smug s-talk) gets edited out. or in. who cares. the people gotta know how i see’s it.


boom is actually located in russia.


they’ll be expanding eventually so now’s the time to get in on the raymi gravy BOOM train and make use of that raymi D List i’ve generously extended to you. who likes discounts? your mom does. tell her i said you’re welcome.

also could you please KEEP VOTING THANK YOU from whatever other ip addresses you have available to you, it’s a close one. tweeting the url would also help. i know my haters are voting for my competitor. THANKS ASSHOLES! i do not suffer losing nicely. picture the rachel mcadams scream scene in mean girls when she realises blowhan has been feeding her bulking up chocolate bars that will be me if i lose. not pretty. also i deserve to win because i am a whore for this blog that you get to make fun of every day.

happy holidays.

you’ve been warned.

2010 Canadian Weblog Awards

it’s really close and i don’t like that.


look it’s me doing what i do best, holding mean girl court and getting everybody’s attention. FUN.


look it’s me wearing my toms shoes that everybody makes fun of (jealously) every time i (rarely) wear them (not the season) someone says YOU ARE SUCH A F–ING HIPSTER. if i knew they were such a big deal in that regard maybe i wouldn’t have bought them. not true, they were massively discounted and i cannot avoid sales. i feel like i’ll stop breathing if i don’t buy that beautiful for sale thing.


just wanted to let you know that you should look at this. -management.


time to go home.






totally not loaded.


miss you like a hole in the head, sayonara!

also would it kill you to leave a comment JESUS.

no matter where you been the people try to do you in


here i am last nite oh i guess you figured that out already from my video before. how do you like your brains, scrambled?


here i am relieved today is all over. so wound up i could have sprinted a block. i was meant to be a super lazy waste of space OR the complete opposite, like a person on an assembly line, go go go go go. just keep barking at me til closing time. that’s april. i made her breakfast and for lots of real customers too. actually i made everyone’s food today who came and it was free sorry if you missed it.



hahahha. last nite casie and i sat front row at the rivoli with nick our asian chaperone cool guy, not the same asian in this photo, that’s shawn hawaii. he also has style. but anyway we were total mean girls at the front and threw everybody’s game off and/or were incorporated into all their jokes seriously just sitting there made everybody nervous. one guy was like, hi judges. sean ward was super good last nite at that holiday jam. i played the drums. ambushed everyone from behind like i was fucking aerosmith they were doing a social media gathering hug a la band aid no live aid and i started blamming on the drums behind them on stage and they collectively were like WHAT THE F– about to reem out whatever xyz drummer was ruining their sing-a-long they turn around and SURPRISE it’s ol’raymbo. kept a beat, someone freestyled and then it was outtie.


shawn brought us watches i demanded the my melody one, casie got hello kitty. such a gentleman. thanks for the champagne at the drake buddy.



casie got to devirginize my steve madden dress. no spilling!


happy birthday BOOM!


come on edie lets go.


libraries to talk loud in. books to dog ear.


i am 89.9% stressed out in this photo.


here, no stress. i am 89.9% wasted in this photo.


casie has way better photos than me can you pester her to get me them so we can stare at my dress which shockingly wasn’t spilled on.




those tights were so worth it casie.


feelin’ narnia up in hurr.


somehow i got a massive rip up my inner left stocking. sigh.


see right there. no, ignore it i mean. like my spider legs? imagine those bad boys wrapped around your ass in bed. they call me the black widow.


we lured the door guy into taking our picture multiple times. you know they want to and all you have to do is play it real coy and naive then ten pictures later they’re over it.


who’s sugar?


and who’s spice?


the drake is covered in lennon right now, how is that, why is that? dad you gotta see it. i thought i was hallucinating.


this looks familiar. there’s pic of me doing this with casie at hemmingways and i’m wearing hearts undies too. should do a side by side.


christine looks like a cute little bug aw.


it’s ok we all know what i look like.









i love comedy. i love activities and being entertained, laughing. so good for the soul.


i was telling a story about how my parents accused me of being a lesbian for wearing a tie to school in grade seven and how i was casually sitting all defiantly dykey in the livingroom, no, i’m not a lesbian but so what if i was! they gasped. i said it was pretty lesbian of me, i was lying all kd lang’ed out with my tie smiting them so casie copied my mannerism and then in a following we are mistresses of the universe rant she said if anyone messed with me she was going to kd lay(ng) them out. consider yourself warned.



as much i love to own the blond sometimes it makes me extremely uncomfortable you see people’s judgments about you before you even have a chance to sit down.




dinner was fun and nice. had the holiday vibe. good will towards men level shit.









i was very nervous about the soy sauce overflowing wasabi soup i made and my white skirt i asked for lots of napkins and was like duh, look at this shit do you want me spilling on myself in your restaurant you guys should be very nervous for me right now and bring me an apron.


sake bombs.



that’s the money and the first one she took and it’s perfect why does she have to get inside your head like that and say one more. meh. more for me.


waiting for casie. i was on time, and early! she took a cab. she lives around the corner. how much was the cab 3 dollars? awesome level lazy.


i even waited for her to arrive. i am a gentleman.


nut cracker anyone?


girls dates are fun.


that ring is impossible to do anything with so i’m giving it to my niece who has even tinier fingers than me. she’s very into pearls anything right now so here you go. maybe i’ll put it on a chain so she has that option. i still have to buy her present for christmas. i’m a perfectionist gift giver. i am obsessed. no really, you should date me.

ok listen up i need your voting help i’m not winning (it’s very close i want more of a lead) it’s very close please spread this around and vote for me in the people’s choice RAYMI THE MINX thank youuuuuuuuuuu we don’t lose ’round these parts. what do i win? nothing. not the point. love me or hate me you are addicted to this thing every day so you better feed it its ego medicine. may peace be with you, also to show my appreciation here is some behind the scenes of me being useless, charming, a diva, and cluing in to why wendi showed up with some novelty tongs for me of microphones. i need a tv coach to teach me how to remember to hold my face up i have fat kerouac face all the time when i talk ughh yes like omg i am so sick of hearing about your kerouac relation cram it down my throat more why don’t you. you sound so stupid when you repeat that in hater feeds since 2000 fyi. if it was a white trait, (dad’s side) i’d say i have fat white face. another thing i am not allowed to remind people about is that i WENT TO ENGLAND TO SCHOOL ONCE. sometimes i just want to put the internet into a massive chokehold. a one-hander.

my camera guy’s mic picked up someone talking shit about him not filming anything haha yes. dear notables, watch your mouths always and never forget the mic.

the man in the looking glass is looking back at you at last


hey do you want to come over and knit to steamy mugs of creamy tea and crackling vintage radio playing us jams to jitterbug and watusi to?


i only wish my room was more christmas right now.


obviously a creative sloth resides here. it’s been trashed for a month. i want to swipe everything off that dresser into a box and then pitch that in the ocean. there’s important bric a brac all over it scattered throughout so i can’t do my tom cruise dream of losing it. is it true he and kate are breaking up?


had a great workout today. got casie in on our inq montreal new years eve party i think that’s going to be the most ridiculous travel party clusterfuck since wakestock. so so so excited like never before for new years eve i feel like collectively no one ever looks forward to it. i need a good stress blow out.


here i am in my new second skin. i also keep walking by my new skirts and smiling and sighing at them ahahahahaha ahhhh dreamy. women feel on top of shit when they have a good outfit and we can control the world like obviously this is going to be a success because i am wearing louboutins DUH. i mean obviously.


hey guys i’m here collecting for the paper.


new nudey headband.


my hair is actually even more blond now if you can believe it to be possible.





someone take me on a leafs date holy shit already. you can wear this and i’ll wear something a little more figure revealing.


practicing lookin’ young. i will be 28 at the end of march. BOOM. actually, native richard gere said i look younger than 27. though i dunno how someone 13 years older is allowed to say something like that or is he pulling my leg. maybe older guys know about this kind of thing.




love it. dad loved it too. i was paid to hype this before i’d even seen it or before it came to theatres. they got their money back cos i went, then rented it, i’ve seen it many times and THEN i bought it. i stand behind the shit i promote.




doused myself in this one this morning. love it. will be giving both away. sad about it. GREEDLOR MUST BE SLAYED.


put the biotherm away too. no extra spending. i hate this. painted nails red as seen above to match red lipstick i plan to wear tonight for raymi heartbreaker outfit crawl.


see?! seduced. not my fault.


oh god. the little ones they were out of otherwise who knows what i might have come out of there with. there’s a four pack of them though at other locations. no thanks i want the big shakers.


look how light my brows so brassy i’m going to use the blue conditioner on them in the shower now to amp it up even more.


exact moment christmas $$$$$$tress kicked in.


empties memories. i’ve bought many fancy high fallutin’ french wines at my dad’s.


and that great mezcal too. this wine is amazing.


this label is so beautiful. sighh.


one big box of pretension coming right up! pimm’s! sake! brut! haha. each bottle is representative of every weekend or cluster of days spent at my dad’s this summer. it’s like an alcoholic manic depressive creative time capsule right there. every time i’ve decided FU city. i don’t know if this is defeat or victory. a bit of both i think.


this guy is also a time capsule. we’re letting his hair in for once. such a little beast.

now i have an announcement to make no fucking around anymore i mean serious business here !! tonight you will find casie and i having our reunion monday (it’s monday right?) night shit show celebration at The Horseshoe for corey‘s 26th birthday party AND sean ward‘s electric christmas 2 jam.

the rollover sister party to this is tomorrow’s Holiday Brunch Party at BOOM 808 college street location. i’ll be doing my thing in the kitchen right out there in the open for yi’zall to see. it will be filmed. you will be blogged it will be great. couldn’t decide on egg nog (with rum) or mimosas so i think we’re doing both. let me know in the comments if you’re gonna be there. happy to be in the city i love leaving it and i love coming back.

2010 Canadian Weblog Awards Nominee

and at midnight sasquatchenan time the voting begins for people’s choice which i qualified for the top 5 of for 2010 CWAs (canadian weblog awards) please vote for this guy thank you. i’m also up for lifetime achievement too. if i don’t win that i will be super pissed. heheh.