Monthly Archives: January 2009

this blackout is serious shit

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allison is on her way over to shower, another affected zone dwelling friend. yes yes come to my palace, bring coffee, oh and i’m low on shampoo and conditioner bring that too. people keep calling from the burbs to check on me i feel so bad for everyone else, apparently every street is packed with people walking, braving the cold. eerie.

i just had to skidster clean the shower for her while i showered, best time to do it.

my face has erupted in zits and the one on my neck that was slowly fading away, welp it’s got a new friend RIGHT BELOW IT. awesome. there’s a huge crater on my right cheek.

britt and i watched leatherheads last nite – let me save you the trouble – all it is is george clooney over-doing facial expressions for 2+ VERY SLOW hours and Renée Zellweger wrinkling up her face as tiny as it can go with lots of red lipstick on (ps i love her). some guy from the office is in it too. i think i laughed negative 4 times. the old timeyness was appreciated, everything else did not deliver.

i was just thinking about how i wanted to tan today so i won’t look like such a ghost tomorrow on the court but i think the salon i go to would probably be out of power, also, the idea of superbedding whilst people are freezing in their homes feels like the biggest prick move to pull at the moment. kind of hilarious in a way though.

we got matching tube socks for tomorrow, i’m going to draw a tiny star on one of my cheeks with black eyeliner and fill it in with pink blush, JEM kinda. also i’ll wear my ghetto adidas jersey for show between games.

fil got wallabies for 80 bucks, i hate him.

but there is hope for me cos they’re uk sizes, i’m a women’s 8 north american, so uk men’s that’s a 7, not a men’s 6 north american which is what i would need. yeah the math makes absolutely no sense to me either.

have you seen this thing yet?

blackout toronto

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check it. we is fine over here at camp raymi, though fil is out on the town, we are just borderline in the safe.


Last Updated by National Post 2 minutes ago
Flooding in a hydro sub-station is the cause of the blackout, according to Toronto Police.

Reports say that Toronto Hydro crews are on the scene but there’s no word on when power will be restored. fight the power

yikes guys, and it’s fucking cold cold cold get warm somehow!

this reminds me when my crazy roommate moved out and flipped the furnace switch off on us on the coldest winter nite ever and we had no idea all bundled up in one room and she called with total guilt in her voice inviting us over of course couldn’t simply come out and admit to what she did even said well did you check the switch and i guffawed why would i do that? maintenance dude shows up next morning and says someone flipped the switch off, furnace is fine. cunt. yeah i know you did that psycho. on a nite exactly as cold as tonite if not worse.

anyway, raw deal, i feel quite extravagant at the moment what with the tv on right now and the xmas lites and a light. i just ran down to fil’s car to give britt our headlamp as her new apt. is in the affected zone, she’s fuckin’ off to the burbs for some heat and light.

we also called the cops on a loon in the park earlier who was swinging away screaming mumbo jumbo songs at the top of his lungs in this siberian climate, once the po po showed he booked it though. britt called, team toronto that girl. we were concerned for his mental state and the frostbite. anyway. hey.

the whale he roamed the lonely sea

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this is the hustle, it looks way better when the whole room is doing it, and to an actual disco song, AND if you leave out the stupid I AM DANCING RIGHT NOW face. my grade seven teacher taught our entire class how to do it we had so much fun we chose to skip last recess to do it more. ha. i fuck up the first sequence of it though, you’re supposed to twirl with your fingers pointed up in the air not roll ‘em like a fucking whatever raffle drum? the raffle drum part comes after the fingers pointed spinning part.

i am happy to announce that in wii fit i have unlocked all of the stamps and the last one is a stamp of my mii character’s face!

last nite we (sass, caitlin, britt) ate at kilgour’s before heading over to steamwhistle – our server was smitten with britt and pumped to be serving a table of chicks, but then everything went to shit, he was overwhelmed by how many inquiries we made (separate bills, waters, a HUGE curly hair implanted in one of britt’s french fries, more mayonnaise etc etc) however i went with the wings so i was solid until i felt a panic attack coming on so i had to have some white wine and part of a chill pill and play head games with myself. panic attacks are so embarrassing, you commonly want your party to see you as aloof and it is such a feat to appear calm and well normal meanwhile you feel like you’re suffocating and the walls are closing in and other stupid metaphors. i know stress is the trigger and i can be fine all day long then blammo once finally out on the move it rears its ugly face. natch whatever, thankfully it didn’t stick around long, i was going to be super pissed if i had to miss out on my wings (you cannot mix food with anxiety, just doesn’t work).

where was i, oh yeah, the service was a little fucked up and i specifically blame britt’s blond hair (compliment) and cute face. next time take-out ok? sass had the platter, she dug it. i really like it when your friend orders something off the menu you’ve never seen before, you get to size it up for next time.

on saturday fil and i are doing charity dodgeball, we did it last year and i am so amped for it cos i’m in better shape (we were sore for a week after playing, it was ridiculous) than i was last year and our outfits will be sexier. we were mr. dodger’s neighbourhood and that was a cute idea in concept but come on, running around in a cardigan sweater is retarded, we just threw them on the benches. this year our team’s theme is oldschool ballerz, so now i have an american apparel knee socks excuse, two pairs too cos fil is going to need them. i’m going to wear short shorts and some kind of tank? bikini top? any ideas? does anyone have bling i can borrow? fil and i were also scooped up first off the bat in the draft, they saw our mad skills, i hope our team is stacked! we came in second place last year it was SO SO close. i am not the best thrower (cos the balls are sponge, it’s like trying to launch a balled up piece of paper and you throw your shoulder out over and over and over again) but i am really fast and agile when it comes to dodging and i have staying power to have another person come back on in after a minute is up of me pulling stupid dance mock dodge poses and smack talk.

lastly, this is how you can apply for my LEOPARD PRINT ONESIES giveaway thank you for voting for me – leave a comment stating that you voted for me, however many times or just that you simply voted, i will collect all these names, write them on a piece of a paper, put them in a hat and film myself drawing TWO NAMES (one onesie each). also type your name first and last as well as nickname if you have one (some of you have the same names).

thanks bro.

hello sirs

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yeah yeah yeah vintage fur blah blah snoooze. i never got the whole IT’S VINTAGE justification, so bullshit, (no offense world) yeah it happened before you were born but so what, you bought it. blood is on your hands too. ps you look like a mental case who are you, whitney houston?

person 1: is that a fur coat?

person 2: it’s vintage

person 1: is it real fur

person 2: vintage fur

person 1: ok, and that solves what exactly?

person 2: it’s ok because IT’S VINTAGE

person 1: how so?

person 2: JUST BECAUSE

person 1: superb argument i’m convinced!

that being said, i love this coat.

the one time i make a go at steph‘s big scarf another girl turns up wearing the exact same one.

little impy came out despite being sickly. we did the photobooth there and the pictures came out very dark, if you ask the bartender nicely for two loonies for your toonie he gives you tokens. i’m going to scan them in and get fil to lighten them up.

the man of the hour i wanted to bring him a flower but they only had gross dried out antique looking forest garbage at sobeys so i got him his favourite instead, garlic bagel crisps which we all slaughtered by nite’s end.

paddy jane’s outfit was amazing.

check that one piece red velour number and you can see me asking the dj for fifty songs she didn’t have.

these are jeff‘s pictures (you can see the rest of the set there) he knew raymi before raymi was raymi too, don’t bother asking him for stories though.

hi everyone coming from here my hits are ‘sploding!

AN ECCENTRIC MESS

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what am i drying my fucking nails here?

Matthew: what time are you heading to steamwhistle?

me: 6 or so maybe be there a bit after

Matthew: cool, I’ll probably get there at like 7
I have to pick up my tux for my brother’s wedding

me: ahh
are u going to wear it
you should
fil is wearing work clothes

Matthew: hahaha
that would be awesome

me: that would be SOOOOOO funny

Matthew: I can’t fuck it up though

me: then you can be uptight about it all nite long

Matthew: just in case anything happens

me: omg that would be the funniest surprise ever fil would laugh his head off

Matthew: oh my god that would be so fucking cool though

me: like dumb and dumber

Matthew: bahahahahahaha

me: except u are one-upping fil at his own show

Matthew: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

me: PLEASE do it
im going to sort of dress up
well wear tights and a dress at least

Matthew: I totally can’t, what if I spill shit on it or something

me: dude there’s nothing to spill other than beer and that comes right out
are you planning to fall into some red wine

Matthew: you never know how the night will go :P
it could happen!

me: oh man

Matthew: I fall in some pudding or something
There’s mud wrestling there

me: well i think it would be one of your more greater accomplishments in life if you just started wearing a tuxedo
like as your new thing
other than socks and shoes mainly being your thing

Matthew: it would be quite awesome

me: you dont have the balls for it tho

Matthew: my brother totally wanted to get dumb and dumber tuxedos for the groom’s men actually but the wife vetoed it :(
hahahaha what are you trying reverse psychology??
like if you dare me to do it I will?
I think you’d know me enough by now that I totally would

me: im just saying if you have an eccentric thing, you stand out – an eccentric mess is always appreciated
i dare you to wear your tuxedo tonite
i am posting this conversation

Matthew: you should buy me a blue tuxedo with frills

me: and then if pictures turn up tomorrow of me and you and you in your tux you will come out looking like a champ

Matthew: I would totally wear it
dude, I can’t wear it. If it was mine yes, but it’s rented and 2 days before the wedding

me: bok bok

Matthew: wow, that is totally gonna work

me: hahaha fuck you fine just wear your regular shit garbage

Matthew: I will, I’ll be dressed like you
:P

me: pantyhose?

Matthew: no, I mean the male version

me: i already dress like a man

Matthew: haha how do you figure that?

me: well there are certain manly things i add to my wardrobe
sloppy shit

Matthew: dude, it’s all in your mind
I never once thought you dress “manly”

me: you’re all in your mind

Matthew: crazy, yes. manly, no

me: well i guess the perception i have of myself is a little outdated

Matthew: you dress normal girly, maybe you’re thinking of your lesbo short hair cut from 30 years ago

me: 30 years ago!
it looked kinda how yours does now

Matthew: yeah, you’re like what, 47 now?

me: i am going to charlie horse you

Matthew: hahahahaha

me: i dont dress nearly as crazy as i used to when i was actually crazy

Matthew: I was just fucking with you cause you write it on your blog, I don’t think you dress crazy

me: like punched out lenses sunglasses and lipstick on my teeth
i didnt take it to heart nothing you say affects me

Matthew: I think the lipstick on the teeth thing happens with old age
I read about it yesterday
nothing to heart? not even nice things?

me: when was the last time you said something nice to me
and im kidding

Matthew: I know
lipstick teeth explained!

me: dude that is like the only place you get your information from, the only links you ever send me are from cracked

Matthew: hahaha it’s part of my lunch reading along with your blog
and porn

me: so you are becoming progressively more stupid with each passing day

Matthew: by reading your blog, yes

me: and cracked
i lobbed you that one purposely

Matthew: there was no other way I could respond to that

me: you were supposed to one-up not barely match it redundantly
ok i have to pick out a shit garbage outfit now

Matthew: I’m working at the same time
I’ll be at the top of my game as always tonight

me: wicked!