guy is currently playing quantum of solace while i am currently drinking sake of solace.
here look at this thing, it is an extremely big deal at my nana and papa’s house, i’m pretty sure i stole it from some place as a kid, someone’s tree maybe? shut up i was 4. this little mouse comes out every year and lives in the christmas umbrella stand’s branches and i search all over til i find it and sometimes if i don’t see it immediately i scream out EXCUSE ME NANA WHERE IS THE MOUSE I GAVE YOU!? like i created jingle bells then nana scurries over and makes a big deal of searching for it with me. on our way there today my mom told me about how the mouse was brought out and i was like GOO-OOOD! in my not another teen movie attitude voice.
like sorry i burdened you with this cutest most retarded thing ever gift when i was a little kid but you’re just going to have to deal ok!
oh and i made this original piece of shit when i was a kid too, it also lives with the mouse I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT MOUSE EVER GETS LOST I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.
oh and remember this story? well i found the heart shaped tooth fairy pillow in my nana’s basement hanging off an old shelf of mine.
can you believe i shoved twenties in that teeny pocket and hung it up from the dry cleaner’s coat hanger in the car?
funny in a way that it is so NOT a funny story actually, for this guy, but it has a happy ending at least THANK THE FUCK THAT SHIT COMES FROM!
so basically for the past month i’ve been thinking i have JAUNDICE. i know right. at my last physical it came up in my pee test, i was also on my period (when am i not?) and was out late drinking late the nite before so my doctor wasn’t concerned, my eyes aren’t/weren’t yellow nor skin (seriously JAUNDICE ARE YOU KIDDING ME!) so she did not send me straight to a hospital, she did blood work and said she would not call me if it came back fine and dandy. so she didn’t call me for a month, but did that make me NOT think about my jaundiced liver for the past month? AH-FUCK no on that. do you know how many times i have stared at my eyeballs in the mirror over the past month and festered on this rich piece of juicy information from you dweebs? i did not tell my mom because she already nags me enough, i did not tell my dad (hi dad) for obvs reasons, or brother cos he would immediately tell my parents duh and i didn’t tell you cos holy crap, blog jokes forever right.
anyway, i went in today to find out my results and guess what? PERFECTO PREP. even my b12 is normal and that never ever happens. so how the hell did being halfway through my period and sucking back vodka sodas til 1am make jaundice appear in my urine?
oh who cares, i don’t have it so now it’s miller time.
ps. DO NOT wikipedia jaundice if your doctor says you might have it because you will then decide that you have every letter of the hepatitis alphabet too. every tiny pain in my stomach for the past month oh you better believe it was the JAUNDICE MONSTER and oh what fun its been.
GO TO SWITCH CONTEMPORARY TONITE MAYBE YOU WILL WIN MY PAINTING OF ME HUMPING HELLO KITTY OR SOMETHING EVEN BETTER AND YOU CAN SEE ZEESY BEAMED IN LIVE FROM JAPAN!
Zeesy Powers Live From Japan
Switch Contemporary, 2217 Dundas St. W.
8 P.M.-11 P.M.
So, I am in Japan doing a 7 month artists residency at CCA Kitakyushu, and I’ve run out of money, it’s a great program in a well-respected international institution (see kitakyushu.org and judge for yourself), but there are no grants for 7 month artists residencies in Canada. Anyhow, my amazing friends are running an amazing fundraiser for me at Switch Contemporary, and you should be there and bring your money.
Performances by Laura McCoy, Trudy Poot and Her Plurals, Darrah Teitel, a puppet show, and Live from Japan via interning and There will also be an art auction, featuring work by Yuula Benivolski, Xenia Benivolski, Jubal Brown, Lillian Chan, Amy C Lam, Elle McLaughlin, Tina Ratface, Simone Schmidt, Fiona Smyth, Nikki Woolsey, Zeesy Powers and more!
DON’T MISS THIS, I DON’T HAVE A TICKET HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
so has a bunch of xmas cards. this year i’m not sending any, sorry guys.
so, my blythe is scabbing, you know the type of scab you get from sitting in the bath with a wound and it gets all gross and wrinkly. except i didn’t sit in the bath and i am not allowed to for like two weeks now what the fuck am i supposed to do with myself? don’t worry this will definitely not turn into the tattoo blog like how nerds turn their blogs into wedding blogs (no offense ya snooze fests) and then being married blogs ugh. though i am somewhat into the minute tedious details, like how i enjoy reading the side of a box of cereal, it’s somehow fascinating to me? and of course everything i say is sprinkled with hypocrisy and bipolarisms (same thing) so basically yeah this is my new wedding tattoo blog for the next short while. we might even go to bed bath and beyond if we have enough time!
i do not think i will get an entire arm sleeve so you guys can chill, i don’t feel like i need to make a mural up and down my arm with rainbows and stars and other shit now that i have ONE tattoo, who made that rule, a puddle of aids? (kat von d) when renita first started i thought to myself well i guess this is the only tattoo i will ever get cos this hurts so fucking much. then you get over it. i am a big wimp when it comes to pain, they have to use the infant butterfly needle on me at the doc office (i have teeny veins) and i still cry (mostly from mental exhaustion) and they always look at me like are you for real? now when i go back with this tattoo and cry from a wimpy needle they are going to die laughing, like how big fat menacing-looking guys are actually sensitive teddy bears.
my new psychiatrist talks like john nash (russell crowe) in a beautiful mind, eyes closed with glasses head nodding with every thought, kind of looks like him too, i was SO close to interrupting myself from crying and asking him why he talks with his eyes closed, didn’t. i have a feeling it is going to distract me only more so in future sessions. i wish i had a tick like that, all i have is constant ear picking and obsessive letter counting.
remember i said don’t fall asleep with a band-aid on?
get a load of my pinky, thanks nana!
of course having it as tight as possible didn’t help. it’s fine now.
my modest amount of blue menu chicken strips and i even gave one back to fil. later on he was telling his mom that we (i) had eaten SO MUCH that day and therefore did not require an appetizer that i politely requested. sometimes fil gets himself confused with me.
now fil’s, see. remember this next time you open your mouth fil.
i’ve had this bag lady sweater for 5 years now.
sigh, miss this guy so much, it doesn’t even exist anymore! my aunt drew this.
ps. everyone! fil’s birthday party is on friday december 19 so if you want in, let me know not like i am STRESSED OUT ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING!
me: hi
Elizabeth: eyyyyyyyo
new tattoo eh
me: yes ma’am
Elizabeth: how exciting!
me: it’s scabbing now
and when i put lotion on it kills
Elizabeth: I bet
thats one thing I prob wont ever do
too big of a weinie
me: yeah right you are tougher than me
you can tolerate dick in your ass
i cry when i get an infant butterfly needle
Elizabeth: hhahah
dick in the ass is short lived
I couldnt sit there
me: i am quoting this chat so BE INTERESTING
Elizabeth: hahah
me: yeah but you like crave it
ew
sorry
ha
Elizabeth: it keeps things interesting
me: anyway based on that you could get a tattoo
it’s in your head the fear about it, really it isn’t that bad, then u get to a point where it’s tolerable, plus half a t3 helps and some rye and five million advils from being on your period
the cheeks aren’t that rosy, that’s my blooooood. i barely bled at all actually but just as i was bragging about how much i wasn’t bleeding a whole bunch of area pricked up.
oh fuck was i nervous, as she was showing me the needles i almost barfed and fainted then i had to use the loo. also, great day to get your period.
it definitely hurts more in your head than it does you if that makes sense, i mean, it hurts a fuck of a lot but you get over it, the pain comes and goes.
goosebumpy.
thanks renita!!
so this was my reward for not being a fat fuck anymore, i wanted this blythe tattoo for over three years but i didn’t want to be a chunky chick with a blythe tattoo, that’s just sad. kidding. anyway i worked hard at eating right, exercising, and now thanks to anxiety toning down the booze. <-- takes a bow.
tomorrow after my THE RAPIST appointment, meeting the real deal guy for the first time super early (for me) i am doing something cur-azy that i’ve been subtly talking about for awhile now FOR MY FIRST TIME EVER. a promise or gift rather to myself for losing weight. i am both nervous and excited about it, stressed but kind of in shock because i don’t really believe it’s going to happen yet, and it will be filmed don’t worry.
lookit what my nice little buddy miranda giveded to me for freezies, right after she got in a mini car accident and we dropped off her unicorn painting. man that one half day w/o a camera i felt so, so, empty and useless. i had lunch with sharpie/samir at the gladstone that day while cameraless and you notice so many fucking things that nag your eyeballs and you can’t do anything about it.
s-p-o-i-l-e-d.
rocky, sigh. my dad has informed me that my niece is now a “bad girl” wuh-oh. gonna have to have a little aunty talk with her over christmas.
singing and drumming is hard, but how i tried. video evidence of that garbage to come.
NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! FULL HOUSE SPIN-OFF! excuse me while i find something suitable enough (think, moon) to JUMP OVER! i am beside myself with shock and awe and disbelief and glee i might even puke. this is like bringing someone you actually give a care about back from the dead. i have to go squeeze something until it explodes brb.
