creatively lately i’ve been feeling kinda, blah, i’ve been having panic attacks, wigging out for no reason, i’m almost entirely certain it is booze related (edit* also it runs in the fam BIG TIME). i’m gonna have to seriously take’r easy cos i do not want a repeat performance come the nite of my art opening, yeesh. i might even need a ‘script for housewife chill pills, my mom is trying to lure me back to the wild world of anti-depressants, no fucking way, this isn’t depression i’m dealing with, it’s just straight-up anxiety. anyway, cos of the creative zap it’s harder to make dick jokes here for you, so instead i give you these interview questions i just answered for a profile for some other site whatever not important.

1) When did you start your blog, and why?

I started my blog in 2000, I have an obsessive/creative nature and I quickly found that blogging was a perfect outlet for that, at the end of the day if I still had a ton of steam to blow off I’d hit up the ole internet and write about something stupid that happened to me that day, I also saw the potential to become “known” and to practice being funny.

2) What is your favourite aspect of blogging?

There are no rules, no boss to answer to, it’s freeing.

3) How does your blog represent Canada?

Well by the places I habit and mention it is obviously a canadian blog, I don’t think my life is extraordinary or anything compared to other canadian’s lives, I don’t doubt there are thousands more interesting canadians out there leading crazier lives, the only thing is are they blogging about it or not? I am a bit perplexed by this question, I think it’s funny. Am I properly canadian enough? Does my blog prattle on about canadian politics? Fuck no.

4) What do you hope that your readers take away from your posts?

nothing, there isn’t really a grand statement to it, some come away incensed to all hell while others are inspired to start up their own little blogs. I see my blog as a way to kill boredom for me and for you and if some days there is a bit of genius to it, awesome.

5) What tips do you have for new Canadian bloggers?

Why just Canadian? hahah. Depends what you are wanting to gain from your blogging experience. If you are into crafts, lots of pictures of your creations, people love to live vicariously through your work. Don’t overdo it, don’t try too hard, don’t bombard people with a ton of crap and then get pissed when no one reacts, don’t be long-winded unless you’re being interesting and are certain people are still with you come paragraph seventeen, unless your story is New York Times height interesting, shut up.

6) Do you use any other social networks (twitter, facebook, etc)?

facebook, but i was just permanently forced into the new one, once any site changes its platform for the “better” or “newer” that means the glory days are over, seriously, i have about 30 unread messages in fb, it’s only good for creating events and alerting people to what’s going on but even then it’s a waste of time cos everyone clicks ‘maybe’ and never shows. You should never force your users to evolve when they’re not ready for it, facebook is myspace for conformists who worry what people think and as for twitter, ugh, if your blog needs a blog that’s a bit much no?

7) Tell me a bit about your book (and others that you may be working on), and how it relates to your blog.

My first book Marketable Depression is basically about how when I was younger I was depressed then did some drugs, dated some assholes, went crazy etc etc. I have another one that’s going to be published soon as a chapbook, just excerpts from a larger story, I don’t actually know which parts the editor is choosing, i feel a bit distanced from when i initially wrote it cos it’s been awhile since i’ve looked at it, once that’s out i’m going to republish the rest in its entirety. I feel a bit stressed thinking about it, I feel like I should be focusing more on my writing and I don’t. Writers constantly feel guilt over not writing and all eventually kill themselves, whether by drink or other hands-on means. Right now I’m getting together pieces for an art show october 7, i’m focusing on that.

8) How would you classify your blog?

Basically my blog is what the inside of my brain looks like – narcissistic, bipolar, obnoxious and constantly embarrassed by all of it.

livin’ the dream

Hi Lauren,

I am Phil’s cousin, we met at my parent’s house on Saturday I saw your pictures and have attached a couple more ones showing you playing Texas Horse Shoes. It was good to meet you and even better watching you beat up on my cousin at the game.

my period according to disney, thanks!

The Story of Menstruation is believed to be the first film to use the word ‘vagina’ in its screenplay.


prix fixe perfection

not my title, i’m not that lofty, or gay, ripped from NOW mag’s description of sidecar‘s sunday to wednesdsay dinner menu, which fil and i tried last nite and it was the most delicious meal had in ages. for $22 you get a choice of two salads or soup for starter, and for your main a selection of four dishes available and dessert on top of that.

bonus points for pre-softened butter.

v cozy atmosphere.

amazing caesar salad with pancetta, very heavy garlic w/ equal part anchovy flavour.

fil chose steak frites, A+.

to be perfectly honest and fair, my roast chicken was the show stopper and i felt sorry for fil. asparagus, delicious potatoes and two pieces of chicken, great skin, mysterious jerk-type jam-like gravy, i bet the proper description is on their menu online i’ll get it in a sec. k all it says is this Oven Roasted Chicken, asparagus, mashed potato, pan juices. i’m drawing a blank at what you call that stuff, it’s not exactly the consistency of chutney, well maybe it is and i am an idiot. it in no way overtakes the dish, don’t worry.

oh man i’m on the fone with fil right now and we’re moaning and groaning over how food pornorific this dinner was.

chocolate mousse raspberry coulis SO FUCKING GOOD.

we already want to go again, who’s in?

new winter coat

omfg winter i know but whatever, this guy is by hurley, and the hood lining is an adorable blue velvet (same as by the big blue buttons), size xs, JUST SAYING.

i tried on a zillion, no small feat on a hot day. i am still jeals of steph’s leather guy, she has an extra for me though, if i can fit into it i will be stoked. one day i will stop typing like a surfer, here’s hoping.

anniversary gift, which isn’t til halloween’er but yeah, get the ball rollin’ now why not?

and here is a new apron shirt

really i was searching for a dress to wear to sharpie/samir’s wedding which is so soon, came out with nothing. i’ll post pics of this one hoochie’d out thing that made me look pregnant, fil gave it the a-ok, but he’s a dude, dude’s don’t get it. day of wedding you visualize everyone in their finery and you look at your get-up and have the world’s biggest meltdown. i also have a few dresses up my sleeve i have to re-try on so maybe i won’t have to get a new one, i might even hit up the success dress for one last hurrah. if my frye’s show up in time i am set.