i love anti and i feel like i have been neglecting him. he can make me laugh by saying less than 4 words. hi anti!

Dear Douglas Coupland

i’m a substance user or abuser. so what. at least i don’t have blackouts and fall out of windows and i show up to work on a somewhat consistent basis. i have to go home for christmas and do family-type things. i haven’t bought a present for anyone, not even the kids. they’re so spoiled they won’t even notice. all i want this year is a trip to cuba and like maybe, four-hundred thousand dollars and my own karaoke bar. yah.

i haven’t finished reading all families are psychotic yet. i’m sorry. i’m sure the ending is very good. i didn’t like how VICE trashed that book. dopes. they’re total hasbeens. well, some of them. (has-beens? has beens? i need help with spelling and pronouncing certain words and i am not ashamed to admit this).

there is a guy downstairs in my basement bathroom and he is gutting the shit out of the drywall around the tub and making it all fancy. it’s about time. its been neglected for years. the ceiling surely would rot and cave in soon enough. i still haven’t opened the door to my laundry room after i flooded it.

i think a monster lives in there.

bye.

it’s christmas and i figured i should tell you that

youre hot and i love you and forget about what

everyone says. not everyone is going to understand

what youre doing or who you are, but i like to think

that i understand and i love it and if you were here

you would be mine or i would be yours, depending on

who wore the dick that day.

keep canada beautiful.

youre the light of my lust.

xoxoxox

tony

my secret blog

ps coolhandluke is in vancouver right now. we miss him. he has a rap band or something. and is on the radio and making a record? what? i am still mad at him for making me go see that paul barman fag.

FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS SUCK A DICK!

Thanks for coming to the audition, submitting your demo tape and considering MuchMusic as a place you would want to work. We had a look at your application, audition and tape, and while we appreciate your work, it’s not in the Much style we are looking for at the moment. If you wish to send in a new tape in a couple of months please feel free to do so. We wish you the best of luck in your future ventures.

oh yes and please do feel free to rate my blog here. be nice to me. i am sensitive.

white trash

n. Offensive Slang

Used as a disparaging term for a poor white person or poor white people.

Used as a disparaging term for a white person or white people perceived as being lazy and ignorant.

Dear Douglas Coupland

I feel ok right now. well, i’m quite hungry but that is only because i was throwing up a lot. i took too many medicines i shouldn’t have. i have to go to work in just over three hours. i stayed up ’til 7am.

i keep walking around collecting content for my book but i keep forgetting to write it down in the right place or i go get drunk off rice wine and then my fingers are too fumbly to do anything right. i keep forgetting to put AAA batteries in my dictaphone.

Do you have a dictaphone?

love raymi

ps i have a serious motherfuckin’ crush on capedmaskedandarmed and i think you should too!

pps hey tony, some fat american doofus posted about me today, some ward guy whom i won’t link because he doesn’t deserve the hits. he’s mad cause you replaced his link with mine. (good on you, btw). his perception of canadians is so wrong and he totally bites your styles, yo.

go read raymi and laura kuz there is a male hooker who posts there now. whee!

Andrea says:

hi

r le minx says:

hihi

Andrea says:

what you doing

r le minx says:

adobe

r le minx says:

and talking to jamie on msn

Andrea says:

wanna conference

Jamie has been added to the conversation.

Andrea says:

oops

Andrea says:

what

Andrea says:

i closed the other one

Jamie says:

rad

Jamie says:

i said I hoped you weren’t insulted by what I wrote about that pic

Andrea says:

im glad i saw you online because I was just about to go to work

Andrea says:

no, it was funny

Jamie says:

good

Andrea says:

when I sent it to him I said, we are retards

Andrea says:

so,

Andrea says:

it was fitting

r le minx says:

i liked it

r le minx says:

it

Andrea says:

i like it alot

r le minx says:

i like it a lot too

Andrea says:

my skin looks all peachy

Jamie says:

it’s a sexy pic

Andrea says:

did you photoshop me?

Jamie says:

no

Andrea says:

awesome

r le minx says:

i have a picture of me putting a stiletto in my vagina

Jamie says:

it’s just a beer glow

r le minx says:

uh oh

Jamie says:

you do?

Andrea says:

do you like the new male prostitute on our site?

Andrea says:

oh my god raymi

Jamie says:

who is that dude?

Andrea says:

hee

r le minx says:

i havent read it the last two days

Andrea says:

he’s some college kid and a hooker

r le minx says:

u guys wanna see this foto?

Andrea says:

yes

Jamie says:

i hate abner….make him go away

r le minx says:

u wont blackmail me in the future?

Jamie says:

YES

r le minx says:

i fucking hate abner

Andrea says:

yeah abner sucks

r le minx says:

will u blackmail me?

Andrea says:

i told him off today

Andrea says:

i wont blackmail you

Jamie says:

yeah, but he likes that I think

Andrea says:

show us the shoe

Jamie says:

i might blackmail you…but probably not

Jamie says:

because youain’t got the money to pay

r le minx says:

jamie it sez u cant accept

Andrea says:

haha

Jamie says:

email it

r le minx says:

guhh

Jamie says:

please?

r le minx says:

andrea u email it

r le minx says:

ok then

r le minx says:

one sec

Jamie says:

i’ll be your best friend

Andrea says:

oops, i just acidentally zoomed in like 300%

r le minx says:

looks like snuff porno

r le minx says:

HAHHAHA

r le minx says:

PLEASE keep it to yourself pokey

r le minx says:

i swear to gods

r le minx says:

god

Andrea says:

of course

r le minx says:

than u

r le minx says:

thank u

Andrea says:

well, for one thing theres no way to know its you

r le minx says:

yeh there is

Andrea says:

and for another thing, you cant really see the stilletto going in your poon

r le minx says:

i have pics of me in that room

r le minx says:

on my hands and underwear

r le minx says:

well it is in there

Andrea says:

well i wont share

Jamie says:

can i see?

r le minx says:

yes im emailing it now

Jamie says:

ok

Andrea says:

oh okay then I wont

r le minx says:

k sent

r le minx says:

yer hotmail addy confuses me

Jamie says:

yeah…me too

r le minx says:

yeh i guess the foto isnt that bad

Jamie says:

i never use it

r le minx says:

in hindsight

r le minx says:

i was mistaken for a man at the liquor store today

r le minx says:

i went to the liquor store at 11 am

r le minx says:

wearing a sailors hat

Andrea says:

that happened to me at the bank

r le minx says:

a vintage sailors hat from greese

r le minx says:

did u get mad?

Andrea says:

the musical?

r le minx says:

and it was a dumb dyke who did it

r le minx says:

no greece the country

r le minx says:

hahaha

r le minx says:

HAHHAHAAA

Andrea says:

heehee

Jamie says:

that’s a pretty picture, but yu don’t have to worry about blackmail…it could be someone else

r le minx says:

we have the best msn conversations

r le minx says:

right

Jamie says:

what were you doing at the liquor store at 11 am?

r le minx says:

i bought a big bottle of sake

r le minx says:

ok im going to post this conversation on my blog

r le minx says:

seeing as i am all lacking of material

r le minx says:

oh i dropped off the spy at the station

r le minx says:

and took the subway home and thought i should get a big bottle of sake

r le minx says:

so i can stop having panic attacks

Jamie says:

good thinking

r le minx says:

yah

r le minx says:

i ran out of weed

Jamie says:

weed gives me panick attacks

Andrea says:

me too

Andrea says:

i cant smoke it i go crAAAzy

r le minx says:

until my psychiatrist prescribes me speed or something i am going to go craaazy

Andrea says:

what are you panicking about raymi

r le minx says:

lots of things

r le minx says:

last nite was the worst, i couldnt breathe or close my eyes

Andrea says:

did you just copy me on purpose or did we both write craaazy because we are gay

r le minx says:

it was like a heart attack

Jamie says:

what are you talking about?! your shrink prescribing speed?

r le minx says:

i felt like a fat man

r le minx says:

we wrote it kuz we are gays

r le minx says:

speed as in like adderall

Jamie says:

craaazy gay

r le minx says:

it curbs yer desire to do five million things at once

Jamie says:

and that’s supposed to help?

Jamie says:

oh

r le minx says:

well it will make me less depressed kuz i wont be climbing the walls

Andrea says:

like ritalin?

Jamie says:

i like doing a million things at once

r le minx says:

like, “hi lets do coke and do karaoke and stay up til 5am and then go get breakfast” until my pancreas explodes

r le minx says:

i am buuurning out

Jamie says:

that’s only 4 things

r le minx says:

i want to be more productive and stop spending money

Jamie says:

6 if you count the pancreas explosion

r le minx says:

ga ga ga

Andrea says:

well raymi, you will probaby just eventually taper off

Andrea says:

you are young

Andrea says:

so you have alot of energy

r le minx says:

andrea it has been like this my whole life

r le minx says:

whole life

r le minx says:

i self medicate

Andrea says:

youve been young your whole life

Andrea says:

me too nigga

r le minx says:

nothing to do with my youth

Jamie says:

go to a yoga retreat

r le minx says:

i have so much free time it is ridiculous

Andrea says:

im just saying, it doesnt mean you are crazy

r le minx says:

i dont want to talk about it anymore there is more to it than you know, each case is different

r le minx says:

i know im not crazy

r le minx says:

it just messed with my noodle

Jamie says:

yeah…you’re craaaazy

r le minx says:

GRRR

Andrea says:

alright, sorry.

r le minx says:

i need a beach and a maitai and a little umbrella in my maitai

Jamie says:

how long was the spy in town for?

r le minx says:

and pink tacky sunglasses

r le minx says:

since the 11th

Jamie says:

so now you’re sad

Jamie says:

hey

r le minx says:

well im sad for ten million reasons

Jamie says:

did someone ask you to put that shoe in your cootch?

r le minx says:

whatveer

r le minx says:

no i decided to

Andrea says:

oh my god

r le minx says:

and spy took a photo of it

Andrea says:

i just found a really old blog of mine how embarrassing

r le minx says:

is it the lez be friends one?

r le minx says:

i linked it u know

Andrea says:

no another one

r le minx says:

hhaa

Jamie says:

what’s it?

Andrea says:

no way

r le minx says:

hahaa

r le minx says:

did u get yer puter fixed jamie

Jamie says:

yeah

Jamie says:

it still smells when it warms up though

r le minx says:

weird

r le minx says:

i hope it doesnt happen to mine

Jamie says:

it was just a freak thing

r le minx says:

i want to get that holiday rap album

r le minx says:

that gay 80s shit

r le minx says:

so good!

r le minx says:

“a dingle dang dingle a dingle dong!”

r le minx says:

and they were bad sweaters in the video and are in a disco

r le minx says:

so polish!

Jamie says:

i don’t know what you’re talking about

r le minx says:

me neither

Jamie says:

but i like it

r le minx says:

last 80s issue of vice they reviewd it

r le minx says:

a dingle dong!

r le minx says:

is my new saying

r le minx says:

please remind me

r le minx says:

to say it all the time

Jamie says:

you know i will

Jamie says:

raymi…did you ever have any good pictures on your digital camera from nyc?

r le minx says:

not really

r le minx says:

fuck i have so many porno pictures on my puter

r le minx says:

gahh

r le minx says:

like fuck what will i do next, inject heroin into my eye?

Andrea says:

oh my god

Andrea says:

i just found my old blogger account

Andrea says:

where I can post

Andrea says:

on YOUR blog

Andrea says:

heee

Andrea says:

but I wont

r le minx says:

post what

r le minx says:

i am posting this conversation guys

r le minx says:

all of it

r le minx says:

ill edit it a bit

Andrea says:

im a memner of Raymi the Monx blog

Andrea says:

minx

Jamie says:

i had to back up all my dirty shit so I could wipe it off my computer before I took it in

r le minx says:

u still are

r le minx says:

oh yah

r le minx says:

well please dont mess around with my life’s work

r le minx says:

thanks

Andrea says:

i wont

r le minx says:

ok

Andrea says:

you can delete me if you want

r le minx says:

people mite email u guys and offer money for the stiletto pic if i post this conversation

r le minx says:

i have friends who’ve been offered all kinds of shit

r le minx says:

for dirt on me

Jamie says:

like what?

r le minx says:

man i cant wait to be famous and have all 400 exlovers dish out the dirt

Jamie says:

money? sex?

r le minx says:

money

r le minx says:

connections

r le minx says:

whatever

Jamie says:

exactly

r le minx says:

http://www.indiko.com/slunk/raymibluur.jpg

r le minx says:

i dont care

r le minx says:

not like i pretend to be a virgin

Jamie says:

wow…you look beatiful there!

r le minx says:

thanks

Jamie says:

pretty

Jamie says:

nice bum too

r le minx says:

i wish i could float around naked all the time

Jamie says:

it seems like you do

r le minx says:

and it’s nothing to do with exhibitionism

Jamie says:

except when you go to the liquor stor in your sailor hat to buy sake

Jamie says:

clothes are for chumps

r le minx says:

its like, whatever, i like my tits and my tummy and i am gonna let it all hang out so everyone can go blow

r le minx says:

clothes schmoes

r le minx says:

i like to take them off a lot

r le minx says:

im like that member of no dount who gets naked all the time except when i do it it just makes people uncomfortable and it’s not at all funny

Jamie says:

who gets uncomfortable?

r le minx says:

everyone

r le minx says:

girls?

Jamie says:

bah!

r le minx says:

girls who are fat

Jamie says:

yeah? so?

r le minx says:

i wanna be a dancer

r le minx says:

woah i wonder who will actually read our fucking conversation

Jamie says:

i don’t think it’s such a good idea

Jamie says:

are you gonna post the whole thing?

Jamie says:

leave out the part where I said i met a girl that I like…because the wrong girl is liable to think I mean her

r le minx says:

yes it is funny

r le minx says:

there is nothing incriminating

r le minx says:

ok ill take it out

Jamie says:

thank you

r le minx says:

but can i put the part where u say, “take out the part where i say i like the girl” ?

r le minx says:

hahaa

Jamie says:

i know…that’s the funny part

Jamie says:

where’d pokey go?

Jamie says:

are you guys talking girl talk behind my back?

Andrea says:

i am trying to get into my old blog and delete it

Andrea says:

but they are saying theres no record of that username

r le minx says:

ahh

r le minx says:

hmm

r le minx says:

ok so i took out the part where u say u met a girl but i am leaving the part where u told me to take it off

r le minx says:

it is like irony or something

Jamie says:

people will think I just said that to be funny and they won’t know if there was really anything that you took out or not

r le minx says:

im posting this part too

Jamie says:

how much money do people offer for dirt on you?

Andrea says:

oh fuck

r le minx says:

so everyone will be confused

Andrea says:

i forgot all about work

r le minx says:

im not telling

Andrea says:

i gotta get ready

r le minx says:

uh oh

r le minx says:

ok bye

r le minx says:

do u massage dicks?

r le minx says:

i want that job man i am very good at it

r le minx says:

i should just be a stripper and get it over with already

r le minx says:

jesus

Jamie says:

i suppose if our gonna do it, now would be the time. Better than when you’re an old hag

Jamie says:

but i wouldn’t recommend it

Jamie says:

but at least I might be able to get the money you owe me

r le minx says:

right

r le minx says:

do you accept food stamps

r le minx says:

how about i go on welfare

r le minx says:

well i have money see, but i keep giving it away to strippers and bartenders and cab drivers etc etc

Jamie says:

ok…but I can’t buy beer and cigarretes with food stamps

r le minx says:

i am too fat and lazy to walk oh and i go to the tanning salon

r le minx says:

well buy food and trade it for drugs and then sell the drugs

r le minx says:

i think i should just be a drug dealer

Jamie says:

how about a coke whore and just cut to the chase?

r le minx says:

i already was that

r le minx says:

well not really

r le minx says:

what is a cokewhore again?

r le minx says:

i blow people for coke?

r le minx says:

i totally romanticize being a drinker

Jamie says:

yeah

r le minx says:

im all kerouac’d out with my cigarettes and my panic attacks

Jamie says:

i know a guy who was in the park one night and this old black dude offered to blow him and give him coke for letting him do it

r le minx says:

i want to be the most famous cigarette smoking drinking sad pathetic smartest whino ever

Jamie says:

there

r le minx says:

and hottest

r le minx says:

too

Jamie says:

there’s lots of competition

Jamie says:

well..no…not in the hottest category

r le minx says:

i like it when people get mad at me for being all naked and sexy and they think that i think i am the prettiest

r le minx says:

but really i am so insecure and dirtbaggish

r le minx says:

joke’s on them!

Jamie says:

you shouldn’t be insecure

Jamie says:

you are sexy and pretty and smart

r le minx says:

yah but

r le minx says:

hmm

Jamie says:

you’re too dumb to be sad

r le minx says:

i am not use to hearing it from real life people

Jamie says:

i’ve just erased about three things here

r le minx says:

why

Jamie says:

i’m a real life person

r le minx says:

i know

r le minx says:

i know

r le minx says:

haha too dumb to be sad

r le minx says:

i am never going to be happy

r le minx says:

even when i am happy i am sad

101 Things about me

1. Both my navel and tongue are pierced. You decide if that�s tacky.

2. I don�t have my driver�s license but I can drive standard just perfectly.

3. I once performed the heimlech maneuver on this fat epileptic dude who was choking on a hamburger and I also scooped barf out of his mouth so he wouldn�t choke on that too.

4. I don�t own any records.

5. I was not at all phased to learn Paul Reubens likes little boys.

6. I have never tried heroin or acid.

7. I have a zit-popping fetish.

8. The smell of uncircumcised dicks is growing on me.

9. I ate Lemon Meringue pie for dessert during a flight to Florida when I was three years old.

10. I am convinced lesbians hate me.

11. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth.

12. I have eaten a whole bag of chips and a whole tub of onion dip to myself on many occasions.

13. I�m a fag for romance.

14. I�m affectionate and I can be needy.

15. Sometimes I cut my own bangs and they never turn out the way I want them to.

I will continue this later

Dear Douglas Coupland

Sorry i haven’t written you in awhile. i’ve been a bit busy. i haven’t been replying to emails or updating my blog. it lends (can i use the word “lends”?) me great anxiety to not do these things. i don’t want people to not come back here if i don’t update regularly. i’ve been getting myself into a nice little ball of debt. i want a credit card so i can get paypal and then sell things to people. like my journals or my shoes and stuffed animals. i like to share. you keep things in your life for a short while and then you let them go. nothing in this world is permanent. except maybe for styrofoam.

i spoke with many nice people last nite at the underwear modelling gig. it was hip hop nite and we confused the regulars. i wore nipple pasties and a thong and dirty sneakers. we video-taped it too.

i want a new job or another job or to never work again. i just want to go out and stay in a lot and have money and have money and have money. i think i am bipolar or manic depressive or whatever the hell it is something that’s wrong with me. i can barely work, you know. it’s hard. my work hours are very minimal but still, i am there and after a couple hours i have to leave. and then i go somewhere and spend money.

well anyway, i have to think about what i want to do today.

take care.

love raymi.

go to y2k lounge tonite and see how drunk and uncomfortable i am in nasty underwears.

Thursday, October 17, 2002 3:27pm

I�m about to have a serious major fucking nervous breakdown.

My internet never fucking works now.

This shit cat keeps meowing.

I am so baked.

All I wanna do is listen to this cd I just got (Bombay the hard way) and my fucking winamp cannot read the thing and my cd walkman is out of batteries.

The heat is on pretty high too.

Someone is going to be stabbed real soon.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

4:23pm

I have just decided that I am NOT going to work today!

I do not want to go outside in the cold so I won�t.

And there is a good possibility I won�t sing with Coolhandluke at the hooch tonite. I am all delusional and stoned.

Disillusioned, more-like.

I just wanna bath and to lie under my blankets.

I feel sad all of a sudden.

I fixed the internet and I got my cd player working but the cd is not what I expected. I was thinking of this one song Sarah use to play at the VICE store in Soho and I can never stop thinking about the song and I don�t know who it is by or any of the fucking words.

Shit.

hi darlings. i bought a sailor’s hat yesterday. and some creemore beers. and i did some designer speed. hmmm. not much else to tell you. i’ve been watching you watch me.

ok so here’s the deal. i’m in the process of producing/filming/crafting raymitheminx videos as well as scripting treatments for broadcasters. first and foremost i think a series of several films will be done and sold online. like a raymitheminx show. all the shit you read here but now you can have a stupid video in your very own hands. yeh yeh. so tell me, do you wanna see it or not? whatever. right now i’m stockpiling a bunch of raw footage. being drunk. karaoke. my dumb friends. tanning salon visits. sueprmarket porno…. and i want you in it too. like tomorrow evening for instance, we’re bringing the camera to y2k lounge on wellington to get me in my gotchies and nipple pasties and walking around loaded and you can come and see for yourself that i’m really not as obnoxious as you think. sure. so any involvement would be greatly appreciated. i’d love to hear what you guys think of me, don’t even stroke my ego. i’m a fucking boring loser. is all. and i’m going to take this mo’fo by storm.