Von Dutch

Hey guysbians. On Sunday we didn’t go to that freshtival I wanted to go to so instead we drove to Amsterdam and blabbity blah took a lot of photos, saw lots of stuff and things and things and more stuff, towns, cows, tulips, tourists yadda yadda here is the first installment.

I brought a couple costume changes. My surf maxi dress is versatile in that it is beachwear and a snuggie at the same time and people’s faces look like question marks here when they see me in it. YOLO EUROs.

It was supposed to be a sunny day. It wasn’t. There’s lots of windmills here. Both retro and modern. I have some trippy videos of them set to trance music or whatever it is the crap that we listen to.

I held my peepee for as long as I could then it got painful, we stopped off at a place where a nice lady let me use her cafe’s facility. She didn’t speak english. Obviously I’m not asking for a danish yo. Bathroom? Can I use your bathroom? Luckily no matter what nationality they are, the word toilet is understood. It’s gotten to the point where I just say TOILET even though I am perfectly capable of saying toiletten cos then they think I am American and know not to f around. I took the above picture after I wizzed, coulda just said that and moved on but nope sorry. Not sorry.

This town is like the Venice of this town. It’s the coldest May ever. Next time I am packing properly.

See how the flag of The Netherlands looks like France? France’s stripes are vertical.

Car pervs everywhere. I bet they all watched us through the windows of that restaurant with binoculars.

You can rent these boats and have a boat picnic and stare at everyone like you have staring problems.

South path.

Three girls, one guy, a ton of food.


Which one do you like most?

There’s a lot of Mr. Bean cars here too. Bf says they’re nice looking but break down a lot. Also they’re way too small, so unsafe. I prefer a tank thanks.

That one’s got a Batmobile-looking flare about it.

These are for my dad so just scroll if your eyes start to get heavy.

Think I like the blue one most.

Don’t worry lots of pics of me coming up. This is getting boring though I need to crack a beer to make the funny flow.

So sweet.

Then it was sunny for three minutes. Everything looks better bathed in sun. It looks awesome to begin with cos it’s Europe but the sun reeeeeeeally brings out the amaze.

I changed in the car after this. Walking in a bed sheet with my messed up ankle on grass is too dangerous and when people check me out I’m too shy for it I don’t want to walk into a sign like Kanye.

No idea.

Okay lets check out over here now.


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