whiner Wednesday

Happy Wednesday! The sun is shining bright and burning in my eyes, it’s pretty alright better than grey skies where the entire world feels encased in smog, ash, winter clouds with floating Eeyore’s. With a name like that how can you be anything but depressed? Speaking of which, it’s mental illness awareness day #bellletstalk which has always been kind of black comedy to this guy – thanks for inventing a depressing theme day during such a depressing month. I guess if it was during the summer no one would care because sunshine. And wow what a depressing caption for an amazing photo of these two ladies (hi Casie!) and I whoops!

Lauren threw a housewarming jam with her bf and got all us kids back together for a reunion, well for me it was a reunion because I never go anywhere or see people but it was a sweet time and can’t believe it is such old news already c’est la vie!

I cannot even believe that I have not blogged this photo I milked the hell out of as a facebook profile last week or so. All these social platforms and instagram selfies my mind is getting too old and cluttered to efficiently process, like a robot breaking down on the assembly line.

Unless I am having a stroke in which case I have blogged these before. Glad we could sort this out so openly together.

Dieting kind of makes you mental. You really have to have a good back swing for every thought that goes through your mind which usually tends to center around seeking comfort in forms of eating or drinking. I kind of started drinking again, not a lot, but just kind of threw in the towel in exasperation and because I had dried out I notice the difference in happiness factor like night and day from drinking and not drinking. I am starting to stress myself more and more because I have a clock on me with this getting fit thing I’m doing so basically dieting is a headfuck, not drinking and/or drinking is a headfuck – combine the two and you’re one fine blended walking emotional disaster case who is most definitely p-m-essing too oh great so there you have it, the fine use of blogging at its, well, finest.

It was a super fun time. I think I get sad when I don’t have enough fun. But adults are not allowed to have fun because life is not about fun all the time which I disagree with so I feel constantly at odds. If your blog is about fun and you’re not actually having fun then you are pretty much fucked til it’s funtown again I don’t make the rules I just kind of abide by them.

I bought this postcard because I know a girl who has an instagram account with this name she’s friends with my friends blah blah. She died last week. Super sad. It’s kind of a wake up call, for some of us our lives are shorter on this earth so we should probably just live our lives exactly as we like and not be afraid of haters, who come in all shapes and forms. I am probably my own biggest hater and you are yours. I’d rather be my own champion. I’m trying. RIP Meg. You were full of so much light.

I’m as sensitive as a flea. A glass of pop (killer band name fyi) can really lift me up and is considered a treat to most, a cheaty treat and sometimes necessary. Sorry but I must tweet that I am enjoying a full sugar beverage right now the world must know.

I had two nightmares that I awoke from this morning, the second one I just didn’t bother trying to get back to sleep so I have been awake for awhile. So tired. Going to pump some iron and Raymi aerobics after I blob.

Ha thank you Jules.

Time to dye my cousin it hair again soon.

Lots of hatitude lately.

I finally used this bag. I likey.

Well, I see this post as going nowhere so I’ll wrap it up and get to other things now. Have a chill Wednesday.

I was being a recluse and wasting my youth

Can you tell these are jeggings? Psyche they are! Fake pockets in the front are frustrating (back ones work at least). They are also cursed because when I wear them I get things spilled on me, jackets stolen lol.

Hair appt this week.

Are we coming or are we going I do not know but I know I pissed everyone off with how long I took getting ready to go.

Ok we are going cos I am putting on deodorant here and Bechnique looks retarded haha I love you best friend toilet paper. Nobody laughs at that joke, we told it to a girl in the Wrong Bar bathroom when we gave her a wad of our TP and she is like yeah right whatever not listening walking away to piss hahaha FINE. I made her a gigantic obnoxious wad of the stuff too!

I am waiting on the photos from the hipster party photographers holy shit already I mean it, you wanna get hired or not? EMAIL ME: raymiATraymitheminx.com or commit social suicide. Just kidding I forget your names even though we are facebook friends, I’ll go look in to that now actually.

Let the bender begin! My last three months of being 28. (excuses for life!) I am what I am and I make no apologies. I told you my two year pre-30 plan is going insane and doing anything I want (whilst diligently on the side plotting and working on my career/the future).

Yikes! So, Twilight. We watched it and it was ridiculous like everyone said it was but we couldn’t see half of what was going on cos we were watching a bootleg of it and all of it is filmed at night and you can’t see any of those details oh well it sufficed as we were semi-conscious on the couch, stir crazy and bored. We went through a bottle of Sprite because Domino’s doesn’t carry gingerale (WTF not?) and dominoes I’m sorry to say that this is what “brunch” degenerated in to. I told you we were frat boys for two weeks and it ruled I will go back to being a princess this week starting now. Bechnqiue you gave me my lipstick back right, you slipped it in my pocket? OMG I just looked and you did! Thank you.

My new coat. I hate it. It is too big on me who the fuck am I Kreayshawn. Definitely buying a new coat now.

Didn’t wear my valentine K out, I knew I would sweat and Salvador Darling would be HOT and if that got stolen I would have lost my mind. No way jose. NO way. Ps. Look who’s on their press brag page? They’ll have more to add to that page from me very soon ;).

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

Bechnique got new shoes in Texas.

Stella loves everyone and everyone loves Stella. She talks now since I have come in to her life. I’ll have her barking words soon enough.

And Lady Garbage is depressed in advance over the tree being taken down, she likes to stare despondently into it.

Thinking emo thoughts. Aw we love you Lady Garbage. I spoil all of them.

Love my ohhh canada bra.

Fits like a dream and is more realistic regarding the size of my chesticles.

Dorks. SNL was on. She came over to break me loose, I was being a recluse and wasting my youth.

My roots. This is why no one recognizes me when I got out like that they are dazzled by how clean I am. I did a mask and my nails and was ready to split.

Oh look there she is now.

MEATBALLS!

Every time I go to Wrong Bar I feel famous. Had no ID, no problem. The night I leave it at home, no kidding right.

This was dope champagne.

Time for a tan again!

Goodbye Christmas, so the fuck long!

Had this exact same shit again last night. I have a tapeworm I bet. Na, shortest day yet just majorly partying and that’s the last of it. Pfft as if.

The best hot sauce ever. Cheese fries. Oooh I’ll eat my leftover salad today before my stomach eats itself from the inside. We were frat boys for two whole weeks.

WICKED. Globs of garlic sauce, tzatziki and hot sauce and we go through cans of gingerale and coke like prostars(lobs).

And now we have a nice collection of these take out things. Girls horde these like crazy. Tupperware shit we inherited from our mothers in the eighties. Fact.

Fabulous coat, girl.

Dorky pre-New Years Eve heading out shots. See how behind I am? Well not really I just cover all bases with various devices capturing the Raymi News. Noose. OOOoooh so daring.

Completely unrelated to this picture, watched figure skating last night and it was lovely. It made me feel sentimental for my nana and papa, and my grandparents why am I turning in to such a giant suck?

Then we watched the Jassi Sidhu killing case/investigation on fifth estate CBC and thanks to the magic of television, these disgusting people who master-minded the murder of an innocent woman for marrying whom she wanted will finally be brought to justice. A mother, father, and uncle. Living freely in Canada all these years after having their own daughter raped and killed, unbelievable. It’s not the colour of their skin, Teacher said, it’s the ideas in their head that are disgusting, it’s not about race or culture, an honour killing? I asked if it was racist to say they were disgusting people, because when we heard that her mother was involved he made the remark, I was just clarifying. I also believe in an eye for an eye and EYE think these people deserve to be tortured, ugh I never write this way about things that scare me, or matter because it’s a small town but who cares, I CARE. It’s about justice and you just cannot kill someone and get away with it and have it just sit on a desk for over a decade. The entire family is implicated in my opinion, living on that farm compound together keeping the secret. Pretending to not know shit and that he’s “in India.” You know what else this family did? Not only did they pay to have their own daughter killed, they paid to have it put on the man she married so that guy spent 4 years in jail (is fully emotionally battered from this experience and will never forget, he remembers everything and he feels like when Jassi died, he should have died when she died. HEART-WRENCHING) and he was completely innocent. They had her raped too. WTF does that have to do with “honour” killing? I guess dehumanizing as is possible and shamed for disobeying her family. Where can I sign up to get in on such a lawless people? It is smiting to feel so helpless in your own culture, like you were born into suffering in to not having a say god forbid you be born a woman. There are photos of the lovely couple in love and in no way shape or form could it be possible for her husband to commit these acts upon his new bride. Repulsion doesn’t begin to cover it. I know that within an entire culture, every person is a snowflake and not all apples are rotten, but I do know that this happens a lot and gets swept under the rug because Canadian government doesn’t want to get involved. It takes the bravery of a man to write a book about this and bring it to a shock jock tv outlet to make the police get involved (and tips from anonymous sources) and this happened in my own country. If this were a white, or black family, boom, instantly dealt with. There was nothing honourable about how that poor girl died. The mother, father and uncle deserve to rot in jail and then in hell. Eternally.

Knew I’d be a sweatbag in this so I left the vest at home.

Gave myself a wee trim. Too many asshole comments about it, now go complain about something else. That striped dress/shirt came with/beneath my black loosey (rip off of chanel) tank, I don’t think they look very good together so I got two shirts out of the equation and while I was making the purchase, spanish carolers were up in my grill. Nothing says Feliz Navidad like a homicide in a Kensington market t-shirt shop. Hope that shirt I bought my bro’s gf’s son fits, it’s a rare photo of Bob Dylan enlarged and screen-printed, and so amazing though he wanted a Bob Marley shirt (they only had ones of him smoking blunts and I doubt that would fly at school) but I said this one will get you more girls and he said he had a girlfriend, I said fine whatever it’s cooler you just don’t know it yet. My dad was blown away by it.

I love lime jello.

Only when I’m sick though (bought this on whim), it is the total cure, these individual ones are not as good cos you can taste the fake sugar and chemicals. I would not give my child this garbage, I’d follow tradition with a lunchable like my mother did lol or five bucks safety pinned to their jacket and a note saying TODAY’S SPECIAL PLEASE. By the time I’m a mommy blobber, mommy blobber’s will be disgruntled by their teenage monster children and despise them then hit their second or triple adolescences and join us at the keg. I wish.

Don’t cover the lens please.

I am hot at being awkward.

And now I look like a mini-mom, MY mom. And Jimminy Cricket. This is at the drake in a hotel room. Teacher has no recollection of this point in time of the night. Looks like someone’s got to cut back on the sauce.

Too bad you forgot this part it was a great time. We ditched you with the boys and went down in to the belly of the sky yard to do our thing. It was like a fairytale a really good time. One kind of dorky guy at one point (no not you)(prob reading)(another dorky guy). was talking to me and I liked talking to him, no flirty or anything he said I was way out of his league and the drunk future cougar me who was in-tow with Lauren O and I says stop talking to him blabbity blah he’s gross. The older women are, the less time they have for dorks, some of them anyway, not my ma and I the more decrepit and Steve Buscemi, the more we love you hahaa. By the time we have a show I will LOOK LIKE Steve Buscemi so hurry the fuck up people.

I think this is when Teacher broke his phone too, dropped it. When a door closes a window opens and now he’s got a new phone yay!

And here a pointless loop conversation takes place as I am unawares he’s gong-showed (thank you Lauren’s boyfriend and every other guy that meets and falls in love with teacher) he came-to at Brock’s party.

There’s my girl. I cannot wait to spill the beans about MTV Creeps. You guys will die. And then I will have to leave town if it blows up in my face. I am making friends with Rashida and she has pleasantly been a great help in preparing me for my episode (January 17) and the fall-out of haters, she said the positive ones are the ones that count. People are telling her she is their idol. They go to her work to get photos with her. I want to find her a good man. Update: She ain’t lookin’ lol.

Casie gave me a sticker of her and lauren for the back of my blackberry and it hasn’t fully disintegrated from hand sweat and partying yet but it’s getting close. RIP my jacket :(.

I look like fraggle rock. Lauren is a cupcake princess. I almost wore my black ohhh canada corset. Can you imagine. Cosmic jealousy turned best friends twins. We have the same name after all but mine is pronounced better lolol.

Coffee break brb with more.

Saw so many stars at the Drake. Also whenever I looked in the mirror too.

Before I trimmed my ends.

Grand Electric.

Bar Vespa. Brb with more. The dog has to walk me now.

Ok I am back. Why would they take my jacket over Rebecca’s? WTF!

And now I’m gone again I put the new pics at the top. It’s Manic Monday I got a meeting to get prepare for.

XO RLW.

May the new year bring me lots of riches and bitches in stitches

Lauren and I could have a nice show together, Loren and Luhren (and for the ten billionth fucking time that is how you say my name and why I invented Raymi and it is confusing to be around Laurens cos I think they’re calling my name because some REFUSE to pronounce my name properly, it’s been my name since playschool birth get it right or get a spear through the face!) I’ll scan this for you kay. You have the other one which is ten times worse than this right hahah.

Photobooth at the Drake is better now.

Even though she’s the retarded friend, we accept Lauren Onizz. I like goofy girls. Cos when I do stupid shit they’re the first to nod their heads and go I understand. When we all went to wakestock together do you know how many times we’d leave something on the top of Lauren’s car and then drive away, I win for doing that the most, my purse, a pop, a salad, haha.

I was going to wear a sparkle dress but everyone told me not to so now I will never be able to wear it unless I get hired for a Caesar’s palace housewife shoot. I didn’t want to copy Casie or get stared at all night or make up in my head that I was being stared at all night which is dumb because I live to be stared at.

Me and Kate and Casie knows who she is, her cousin? Raymi stoo-pid forgetful and I don’t listen either. All good things!

Opened the middle one first for ourselves cos it’s least posh, wanted to show off with the cava, which we opened and can’t remember if anyone else saw or cared and then by the third who knows the fuck what was going on HAPPY NEW YEAR DONE RIGHT!

Thank you Kate for hooking us up with the cheapo tix. I’m glad we went out, I can’t party with myself and the tree in the living room and call it a party when I do it everyday.

All the boyfriends fell in love with each other man and we got to hear HEY MAN I LOVE THIS GUY ten thousand times yes you’re welcome we know thank god and we can tell the bromance is blossoming.

Felt a lot of pressure to turn out a hot outfit. Didn’t. I was feeling too much party stressed.

WTF is this beauty and the beast? I want to watch cartoons all day long I wonder if I could turn that in to some sort of job.

It’s hard to get group portraits with everyone but we seemed to have managed to do it, and some of us have zero recollection of this even being taken.

Teach doesn’t remember any of these, where is this he asked? The Drake. Who’s hotel room? Oh some guy with vampire sunglasses on. Lauren and I stole his girlfriend for a cruise of the Sky yard for a bit leaving the boys up to play in the room.

Every hotel room needs stolen balloons.

I think she made it herself?

I was shy at this point so I couldn’t get a picture with the dragons, I went all disney in my head like politely waiting for my turn instead of the hipster cluster mob encircling them. One day I will ride a dragon.

Amazing dress this amazon was wearing. I wore flats so no I am not a midget. I wanted to be able to have control of my feet all night so I kept it safe and Sally Jessie Raphael.

That girl is just asking for a melon squeeze. All girls will be lesbians one day and that will be the time of Raymi!

I’m so special.

Teacher is in a black out here.

And here.

Here too.

I should have known by how we were squabbling and I couldn’t get through to him. Meh. No one was hurt. I was just super fucking annoyed. I need to lighten up and worry about myself more, new resolution is I am going to stop caring about everyone around me (impossible). Also, Teacher’s iphone is broken, won’t turn on, probably happened in his black out probably rested it in a pile of water at the drake maybe. Poor baby.

Lauren O has the longest fingers here. We should buy her an award. A finger.

Should have worn my white fur jacket with the bow but again I was in the mood for casual. Not that I am competitive or anything.

Dim Sum party was fun, we got the VIPLEASE treatment from the Mansion boys and our boyfriends had to stay on the other side of the rope for awhile hahaha. Thanks be to blog and know your place. Mansion (Conrad?) was like those three blonds let them in, no wristbands necessary, remember this face. So self-entitled. Earned.

We are good at taking selfie pics but when there is three of us too many arms in the way and shadows. Need to hire more blog slaves.

A lot of these are Lauren’s cos she was the most operating functioning sober person and dragons were dancing around us aaaaah.

Two people in there? Or one guy with really long arms or sticks I dunno.

Bottle and cans of beer service in our area, we brought the dudes drinks and then when all the vultures were let in the booze was drank. People dancing on tables and all talking nonsense and getting along, very nice. I am not afraid of Toronto anymore, well I never was but you know, people don’t go out to clubs cos they’re insecure or nervous, you just gotta do it and see that the majority is out to have fun and hug and scream in to stranger’s faces I LOVE YOU MANS. Being around young people helps keep you look and dressing young, oh I see this is what they’re doing, short skirts? Groovy.

My nose is so big it captured all of the red light. Lauren’s outfit was awesome. I was almost going to wear my new black corset too but I chickened out.

I dressed up to go to the supermarket, it’s all about the face though I feel and everyone said I looked pretty and that’s all that counts. This dress of hers is very Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Bony cat. C’ept she has bigger bewbs. Score.

Wheee. First time seeing what the Drake hotel rooms look like. You get extra permission to trainwreck through the building with a hotel key.

We met this girl’s friend who was a bit wasted downstairs and hung out by the fire, bumped into Carly’s sister Kristin and everything was running smoothly on the sky yard typical drake shenans.

I made a new friend. He bought me a drink and said I do not buy drinks for women who aren’t going to fuck me but for you I will make an exception because I had made such an impression. I think I weaselled a shot out of him for Lauren I can’t remember. I don’t know his name he was nice but there are a lot of man cougar rocker eccentric types at the drake for you single cats out there.

We were so close to making it out of there with our blankets, Lauren made it out further didn’t try very hard to obscure them, the security guy was like I’m gonna need my blankets back and I gave puppy dog, no, puss in boots eyes and it ALMOST worked.

On our way back to Santa’s village.

Sparkle stars everywhere.

I figured a way to beat the competition.

Why do I pose like I’m on a soap opera? Gaydorable and the restless. Lauren always looks good and Lauren does too lol.

Back to more stupidity another time. Did you guys lose your minds that I didn’t blog yesterday? Don’t answer all at once now. We ended up at our place and I came downstairs with a boulder-sized bundle of tickle trunk costumes and dresses and we had a drag queen party and took 400 mystery blackmail camera photos I will have to see what I can and can’t post, if it were up to me, EVERYTHANG. Will have to ask Casie and Sarah what they feel comfortable being exploited with and how far, the dudes I could care less what their feelings are. GIRLS RULE LE BLOG.Sarahwho we all have a crush on now btw, has been reading my blog for years and knows everything about me, super specific shit I have long forgotten, it was mind-blowing to be blown by her infinite Raymi wisdom one day there’ll be a quiz game on Raymi the Minx to test the knowledge and memory of all Little Raymis out there, questions like WHAT YEAR DID RAYMI FIRST TRY PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS? How many boyfriends has Raymi had? When did Raymi’s mother start commenting on rtm.com, What is Raymi’s middle name? (It’s Krista).

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my burger king stacker I hope it goes right to my tits.

Happy New Year. Payce!

Tell me what you did last night I mean two nights ago we missed a day over here haha.

(Casie I need your pics)(Still from both times haha).