one of a kind show part deux

you really should go, you have until sunday and i bet all the artists will be reducing prices on stuff to get rid of it all. cheap cheap recession cheap cheap economic crisis etc sigh frowny face. warning: ridic. amount of photos with ridic. demented captions post wait warning? more like (what is the opposite word for warning?)(fil and i are fighting about this now, i am insisting there’s got to be an opposite meaning, like, ugh nevermind) you’re welcome! in case you missed the first post on this, here it is.

fancy breakfast i didn’t eat so i wouldn’t fire hose spew on everybody.


erin, do you see your grandma somewhere in there?

i don’t deserve any of this, do fancy functions make you feel inadequate, or are you a totally gluttonous self-righteous narcissistic ungrateful snot? just wondering.

the hour to cruise before the public was permitted entry was appreciated.

i want to see the look on hipster parents’ children’s faces when they unwrap something “one of a kind” like scott, i am hip and i made you therefore you are to be hip too and this is what you will play with, a freaky fucking puppet, use your ironic post modern imagination now piss off daddy’s got a southern comfort headache to drink off.

i guess i should talk seeing as i got zeesy to make a doll for my niece.

i wanted to throw myself kiefer sutherland styles into that thing. if you haven’t seen his movie i trust you to kill me yet you simply must.

so you got like, yer minimalist hippie come yuppie dinnerware over here.

then some jewelery seen worn by celebrities you barely give a shit about.

owls are out dude, didja miss that memo?

hmmm maybe.

there’s your plug, sorry you weren’t around when i touched all your jewelry. this one booth chick put her hand up at me like talk to the hand when i whipped out my camera, pfft. this other old lady wouldn’t let me take pictures of her matryoshka dolls she asked me what for (clearly i’m media look at the badge) i say for my website she says oh no no i ask why not, it’s free advertising for you (retard) and she says no i don’t do the website, i think she was matt’s mom haha.

nice rings, gross hands. how come in real life they look normal but when posed (ha) in pictures they make me look 40? it’s the british right?

too hippie for me.

love it.

i am a nerd for miniatures thanks to my mom. one day i would like to photograph her collection. i remember she took me to a miniature show when i was a kid, i know, so fun! (shut it)

a good gag for your obnoxious cigar smoking buddy wait what’s all this fucking junk inside? then it goes straight to his teenage daughter’s bedroom, then the garage sale.

i don’t know what the hell this is but it’s huge. CID LEAVE ME ALONE.

cd holders made from record sleeves, you can mount them on the wall or have them on a swivel stand.

dirty hippie dread/hair headwrap.

um no you can’t come over, in fact, we’ve moved.

WTF man-repellent vests galore.

shit for your garden.

cute original clothing for your totally hyper-unique individual free spirited annoying child i will not babysit.

i’d like to think that lady made an effort to smile for this picture but i know she really hated me for this and hey guess what ethel? i was up since 5 in the morning with mega anxiety and still soldiered out to take a picture of your lamps stop being an egomaniac.

these make me think of kid rock and that makes me think about how much i don’t feel like having sex with whoever is wearing them.

haha for fil.

ok that’s cute and patriotic at first but now i am picturing your ugly parents “making you” so thanks a lot kid.

the effort and detail put into this booth was really endearing, she also had a kid and i overheard her talking about the daycare he would be going to once it opened up, french accent, the kid was spazzing out too it was funny. i would be so pumped if my parents brought me to their booth for the day. wait what the F next year i can just get my own booth.

sooooo love these.

you want this for your daughter and her name is Wednesday Violet, you disgust me.

easy there fil.

i carried that cup with me everywhere how bohemian, yeah and then i played hacky sack and wrote some poems at a drum circle while smoldering plumes of clove smoke encircled me.

perfect, my next visit to the psych ward wardrobe is now complete.

these guys represent how much acid the artist consumed over the course of his life.

still can’t figure it out.

should i start wearing a beret so that people will know i am an artist before i even open my mouth?

there was a point in fil’s life when he wore a fanny pack UNIRONICALLY, likely around the same time his hair was down to his ass. probably after that too. fil, what in the hell did you keep in your fanny pack? oh and he had a pet ferret too. case closed.

these guys were nice.

fil’s step dad collects weird knives.

neat, from top to bottom the process in how a knife is made.

is that a bow staff? i bet these dudes are LARPs.

see how deliciously free of people it was for us, ahhhh. on our way out the herds of women and bummed out kid nerds were hilarious.

just give me a minute to crab out a sec.

TMI asshole.

um your kid swore at me that means i can break one of his toys.

these people were nice, i gave them my card so i have to say that in case they are reading, but honestly they were decent, they let me take pictures of every single faerie.

i really like little things, is there something wrong with me?

resting on a nest for some sort of creature what is going on here?

um you passed out on my purse i kind of need it right now hello.

even smaller ones!

fil stopped me from buying this and my heart still aches for it a little LOOK it’s on a teeny BED made from the forest i can’t STAND THE WHIMSICAL PUNCH ME.

i suggested this little tiger lily for fil’s mum or a similar one to it (for a tree ornament). these things seem like a good idea at the time then you bring them home and are like, oh my fuck what did i do? then you get to watch your loved one pretend to enjoy your little trinket that cost way too much money and then you hate yourself for the rest of the nite. i am one of those eager to please gift givers, it goes along with OCD, being neurotic and desperation to be loved and accepted by everyone and it so totally sucks.

have you had enough of these things yet?

funny name. we sampled a blueberry chocolate, interestingly yummy. as he gave it to us we had to pose for pictures so i of course made stupid phony open mouth excited face, overdoing it is my thing. it’s amusing to me when people (strangers) expect normalcy and then i funny their asses into outer space they are like what just fucking happened?

capital YIKES.

thank you for bringing heaven’s gate back i missed those guys.

see? something normal.

shit for your mom.

dad this is the book i was telling you about. this 24 year old kid working for the national film board of canada found himself in india by fluke with the beatles and decided to stick around like a little genius.

can you believe the luck and aren’t you disgustingly jealous?

he wasn’t there when we were he had just stepped out, good thing too otherwise i’d have spooged all over him on behalf of my dad.

here‘s the official website for it if you have 875 dollars to burn.

ok that’s it, this post is finally over.