Hey guys spent the weekend realizing my dream of being a hotel mall rat it was awesome. Splurged on the fam-damily too since I’m stuck around them all the time anyway. Plus my bro never really lives it up like Tray Cray and I. We had my niece let ‘em live a little and it’s my birthday month, beginning of March break for the Hailster before we know it she’s going to be too cool for us. We stayed at the Sheraton and had a rockstar blast. I’ve stayed there many times before I have a lot of history with the big S haha and I breathed a sigh of relief when a ton of shit was forgotten off our bill at check-out.
We had girl’s night mom and I at Milestoners yesterday the first non-hotel meal I think? 4 Bellinis and 4 apps for 40 pretty deece and some personal water bottle vodky may or may not have made its way in to our glasses mom was like nobody cares don’t worry. It’s interesting hanging out with her because we constantly fight but we understand each other, are resigned to the lack of patience but just deal anyway I appreciate her more than she knows or will let her.
I love the underground PATH of Toronto. How you can avoid being cold can catch glimpses of the city’s underbelly these mini fast food places, this photo makes me happy because it is sad. It confirms the sadness I feel afflicted with day in and out. A hobo was sleeping off to the left I didn’t at first notice. I don’t think people should sweep homelessness under the rug ever. I appreciate everything in life that I have and I accept my shitty short comings. My mom’s compassion for the down-trodden is a huge inspiration to me. At first I felt it exploitative but now I see it as kind and honest.
It’s an eccentricity linked-to thing, I’ve inherited it too. Colourful people and life is what my decade-plus blog’s foundation is built upon. I believe in self-improvement and the nostalgia-effect of a hotel staged as backdrop to certain periods of my life is sentimental. Everyone has a favoured hotel with sentimental attachment. It can be a home away from home when away from home and the constant flow of strangers, travelers, each as intriguing as the last perhaps, always an exciting tale around every hallway corner or lobby shadow throw in a pool and let the games begin.
The bonus excitement of it being St. Pat’s weekend was palpable. It’s no mystery I adore escapism so this struck each glory nerve. I am super under-socialized, like always I feel no matter what the hell is going on in my life so it’s like going in to the belly of the attention beast trap. I dunno, people at fashion week for example in the phoney world of that might be accustom to forced socialized pressures of “an event” in a different way than one might at say a hotel lobby where people of all walks are being real, for real. I prefer real. It’s been said of me in photos at events that it’s strained and the look on my face is obvious, it doesn’t mean I don’t like being there I just don’t like certain people who act funky to me there like they know me, I prefer the anonymous kindness of strangers to the pretense of Oh, so you’re here faces.
My birthday falls on Easter this year. Whaddup JC.
I made it to the liqbo before it closed on Sunday at five through throngs of drunks cutting through the mall on their pub thrush breathers. I missioned it through the mall I wasn’t sure what our night plans were going to be but I wanted champers and vodky on standby just in case to avoid ordering room $ervice. Some rummies eyed my precious bag of booze and had me worried I’d have to throw down.
Secret side door smoking section.
View zoom in.
H & S stayed for Saturday night only this was saying bye while waiting for valet.
Bellini accoutrement.
Can’t believe how long she lasted up there.
Fads are fleeting so I’d pass on these pinks but if I was platinum I’d consider them.
I should have bought that scarf hat thing
So gorgeous. I passed this display a hundred times.
So many still lifes. A lot of photos are still sending I gave up have to get ready for gym soon anyway. I’ll try again tomorrow.
The Irish bar smelled like barf so we decided to have a pool/hot tub girl party instead waaaaaaaay better idea.
Marnie was wearing this shirt on Girls last night Shannon pointed out to me which means I am clairvoyant because I bought it Saturday. Hers is likely the designer version of it but anyway it’s gone now cos there was a tear in the sleeve and although it’s really flattering the colour it’s a bit of a one-trick pony so I exchanged it for a cardigan and some jewelry. I didn’t buy it for St. Patrick’s Day either I just love this colour plus according to Sephora emerald is the colour of the year aka anything green which compliments my hair tone like cray. We stayed here long enough for mom to film the Irish dancing girls, didn’t bother ordering a drink and bounced.
Shannon’s scarf is famous guess why.
See how my shirt is static clinging itself to my body lol.
Pretty mom. I’ll blawg her pics later.
Someone made a wise choice and left this behind. OR it was the last one ahha.
Outfit win. They were sweethearts.
His purse matched mine haha. We didn’t want to engage so kept it at that.
I wanted to see Oz but mom doesn’t like fantasy movies WTF!!!!! We saw The Impossible and bawled our eyes out infinity times instead yeah cool story Tracey. Great flick though. Gripping.
2013. Now. Both during my looking like shit life periods IMO. Photo Becca Lemire thanks baby!
Sucking up McDonald’s free wifi thanks Ronald McBlogald. Diet Pepsi coke party.
A little bit Raymdead, can you call in Raymdead? Hi I can’t come in today I am Raymdead. Again.
Now the rain is snow.
Towel jogging pants. All set now life!
I love when my phone tries to tag me in my pictures of food it’s like NO I am not a chicken wing thank you!
Friends calling me on my one word emails – Me: no Him: whoa whoa I didn’t ask for your life story! Slow down! BAHAAHAshut up
Models leads to more models. Should I be the Heidi Fleiss of Model collecting?
I just had a fantasy about buying a pen for the house and delivering speech about it.
Groggy sunny sunshine Sunday.
Longest walk ever.
He revealed his entire charade by reacting emotionally and storming off.
People just cant handle the aftershock of their socks being blown off by how amazing I am.
90’s moratorium.
blue cheese smoked turkey on rye + the hobbit.
And Hobbit the second time around is still boring as shit. I can’t believe it either I know. Sad day. (I didn’t make it the whole way through this time either. Fail. Please Peter Jackson make the next one better.)
Last night was bananers.
AND I took my hair out of the bun and it’s like huge and big Aslan big, and long now for real. Awesome. Now I’m going to watch Girls.
Oh was that throwing sub shade too pfft.
I can’t wait to wear my new shirt what looks like a sloppy Hampton’s house guest coat of armor.
I’d say my shirt is a little more Montague.
Angry like a Russian sky fireball.
Now I’m watching #BBCAN Ep 2. after reading every spoiler and tweet about it last night.
Snowing. Oh it stopped. Lol March.
How much attention you want. > How much attention you get.
Another day in Raymidise.
megatouch omg I’m going to be a barfly again
I hate everything right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This phone flickr everything! those two things!
Ruuuuude and no waymi. why don’t you bring back not pissing me off?
Read the paper, the internet of the wifiless.
Aussie insult of the day: I think they’re a pack of whinges.
More faces than Big Ben.
You hate me when I’m here and miss me when I go.
Watching George Clooney bbq Julia Roberts a burger in his backyard while she interviews him for Oprah. ughhh why isn’t this my life!
Don’t: mix light caesar sriracha and ketchup.
There’s a party in my head and no one is inviiiited @tameimpala
Good thing password typing isn’t driving cos it just took me five thousand times to get mine right just now agahaha.
Uh oh I ate too many mocolates
I just inhaled black pepper seaweed.
Drinking Starbucks in bed. Even my shins are sore.
Fellow writers were always asking Kerouac how he did what he did so he set down 30 essentials in something he called Belief and Technique for Modern Prose – here are my interpretive notes on them.
1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
Agree. Have tons of these. So much nonsense on this computer, good stuff, meaty and zero recollection of anything other than it’s the shit I should be blogging but am too afraid to so put it in a book instead, let it marinate a little bit until I am tougher.
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
Yes. There could be a story at every, any corner. You are a spy of the world.
3.Try never get drunk outside yr own house
Oh please!
4. Be in love with yr life
Make it as fun as possible.
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
Don’t try so hard to push a voice or persona, don’t be false, be real. The flow will come naturally. Let it.
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
GO CRAYMI. Often. Opinions and observations, hopeful and true and above all else, honest. I don’t know what the fuck do you think this means?
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
Just do whatever the fuck you want man be a lit candle because the rest of the world can’t or don’t feel comfortable doing what they really want to do but if you don’t then don’t. HAhaha uh?
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
Like I already said.
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
Can y’all grandiose-size that?
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
Deep.
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
Yes we know you manic compulsively have to get that shit out, the thoughts.
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
Kind of buddhist monk-like, isolated, writers are very monastery but back then no internet so I bet he’d be like surfing multiple pages instead of staring at an apple, prob a bit of both.
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
BOOYAKASHA! It’s the message not the envelope.
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
Now you are speaking my language, hold the Proust. Teahead means pothead btw.
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
Hell yeah this is your Tyler Durden wet dream kind of thing, funny hilarious musings, running dialogue and commentary of every single thing going down at a supermarket. Essay-length accounts of walking eight yards to get a coffee there is what we think and what we say and what we can’t say, we write. Just remove identity if it’s secretive, manipulate time and space.
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
I dunno get to the point or the core of the drama, the root, the real deal business, no pussy footing around.
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
Love your shit. Own thy shit. Be amazeballs about your amazeballs. Fuck the haters. The hater does not exist. You are awesome. Don’t go full-Kanye though. No divas.
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
Is he referencing Nirvana here?
19. Accept loss forever
This one is tough.
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
You only got one.
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
Bend the rules. Make your sentences melodic. Don’t write like a robot. Go with the mania.
22. Don’t think of words when you stop but to see picture better
Be descriptive but not of necessity show the vase don’t tell it, talk like yoda like how I am right now. Learn karate?
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
Blog. Daily posts are entries of your life. Rise early and reflect.
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
Respect that what you do don’t keep skeletons or secrets just out with it.
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
Exactly.
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
Like On the Road, the book is like a movie so they adapted it which allegedly was killed by K. Stew but whatever a good writer is like reading a movie.
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
Pain is good for writing. My writing has bettered ten-fold because I am the most miserable I have ever been in my life at this period in time. I am humble and real about it and soul searching, working on myself, whatever, basically loneliness is a painful thing that people endure. It makes you stronger, creative. It has many benefits, builds character because there is less noise, other people’s garbage in your way.
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
Yeah but make it rule and don’t just invent crazy, tame it a little.
29. You’re a Genius all the time
Thank you.
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
RIP buddy. I think you mean make it God-approved? Don’t kill or hurt people, have a conscience. Gotta go get ready to not try number 3 now why is that one in bold ooooh mystical. Alrighty then. RLW out.
Hi world I am back, still angry but not as much. Don’t blog angry I always say. Never say. Just said to myself in the kitchereeno rolling a dewb. Today just feels like there aren’t enough hours in it which makes me bitchy and the time change plus staying up longer because of this extra hour, I dunno. Also I lost five pounds ahah so my body is out-control I am giving up on dieting and just living my life that’s how I will lose weight by eating cupcakes and being happy. Sick plan bro.
Okay I’m going to stop talking about myself for a bit now. I took the girls to see Ginger and Rosa last night. Bloggers and media and brainy hipster influencer chicks get to see premieres before everybody else because then they go home and write hyper-focused and detailed accounts of the film that they saw. I was grilled in the car ride home about why we got to see that movie before everybody else and it was funny copping a buzz and saying any retarded fucking reason I wanted because social media arrived out of thin air and there are probably endless reasons why I’m an influencer which was not the question posed but yeah, I like the arty dark stuff, I know Jen, my blog is media I guess then there’s the brand Smörgåsbord getting in on it but really there’s a huge movie scene in Toronto which is one of the places Sally Potter’s movie premiered like a blink of an eye gone again until the rest will see the film at month’s end and I will be in Aruba the movie will catch like wildfire, memes will be created, quotes, tumblr-spreads and animated .gifs – seeing it first is a privilege and special offering to in-crowd and movies leave indelible marks on the psyche, hallmark cult classics you never forget where you were and when you first saw it.
Tracey and Lolo are a bit like Ginger and Rosa to me. They’ve been fighting lately. Things have been stressful, rough, long winter, I hear that everyone is suffering in their own way to get through it so we are not alone, world, that’s comforting. I thought the triad should get back together again, Lois kept saying it was our comeback ahah like Tina Turner? And who are you saying that to anyway? Just kidding. We had a smashing good time and 40 Argentinians were staring at us and winking all throughout our couch hang. We went up to Panorama because I wanted them to see it so we stayed for a drink and some flourless chocolate cake. Mom thinks it felt like New York.
Toronto looks good with a chandelier on it. In the day the view is fabulous I have a blog post if you google raymitheminx panorama you can find it.
I wonder how pissed Dakota is that her sister gets all the indie gigs and she gets Twilight roles, aside from crying all the way to the bank, pissed off? I mean, she paved the way for Elle Fanning. Thanks for the Evian, Evian. Some vodky may or may not have slipped in to mine.
The triad is going to Aruba for 2 weeks. It was my intention to float away forever there, turn into a brown raisin, and die. Channeling Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas which I’ve never actually seen but insist upon detailed accounts of from friends who have seen it. Anywhooters I haven’t accomplished enough for suicide/disappearance yet so RELAX YOUR FACE. The point is I am going to Atlanta for a bounty of trubs beforehand so I can press pause on screaming at the sky until winter’s duration ends. I’ve had wanderlust since September. Single people SHOULD travel. I’ve done enough loafing so now it is time to make tracks. BTW I just found out our magician frenemy in Aruba isn’t there anymore so now I can’t be sawed in half. Wahh.
Nip slip dammit. I have 40 pics like this. I didn’t notice because I was paying attention to looking skinny. I forgot to buy spanx yesterday. Guys if you are fine with embracing a fat hero I am totally fine with turning in to Jessica Simpson fat ahha.
Jk I’m going to yoyo until I’m a skeleton again and hopefully get lyposuction in Fatlanta.
I asked Sally Potter if she was Ginger or Rosa? She hemmed and hawed of course then said Ginger. I’m not going to spoil it but obvi Ginger is the one who gets betrayed so it really is a yin & yang sort of flick. Annette Benning is a treasure as well, I love her. Perfect. It’s a period movie set in ’62 so nostalgia original gangster hipster ground zero, a mental holiday flick and I took turns looking at my mom’s face and my godmother’s, we had a really good time, bonding like bananas in the super front row right in front of the chairs where the Director herself Sally Potter would sit and we would be guaranteed answers to our questions posed only to just talk to her as I “got” her entire film, it turned conversational and mom and I got a few questions each. It was moving and inspiring to see a woman who dedicated herself to something for four years, something artistic packed with emotion and lessons, relatable pain. We’re all kinda emo right now so it’s comforting to get lost in other people’s pain. AND these two broads were born around the time of this movie’s setting – I knew some shit might hit home for Trace and Lo. Mom said she’s Ginger. Everybody is Ginger I think.
Get yourself thigh high boots. Shannon “wants to take care of these” while I’m in Aruba ahaha oh please.
Old news sorry I kind of liked it. My boobs btw are bigger it’s ridonkulous I’d think I was preggers had I not blasted in months! Longest dry spell ever I may as well write stand-up about it. I am equal parts proud of myself and a robot. COOL. Cool?
I went on a hilarious date here before oh that’s right you’ll probably pull that blog post up if you google raymitheminx panorama as well ahahahha omg I had blond hair and a lot of extensions in. If the photos don’t appear tell me and I’ll re-html them for you #iamaniceguy.
For her dating profile go and get it boys.
Omg that shirt is so adorable. Lois has EVERYTHING. Every dream girly shirt you could ever want. Bangin’.
We caught up on all our gossip and I rapped real talk to her about some of her biz ahha mom likes it cos I cut to the chase and then Lois thinks about it. We are a good pack.
SO angerry right meow. Passively kinda angry. I can’t even upload one photo at a time on flickr so I must shrink my resolution size aghhhhh thanks for telling me. No pictures no blog post get it. Double-dipping from instagram revokes the newness of the murrterial and no one likes to watch someone brag on all channels. Anyway over it I’m doing one-by-one now. Take a deep breath and blog I have limited time so that means it’s gonna get craymi.
My bro and I have been constipated for days. Don’t get me started even though I just started. Lets talk about problems, you got problems!? Haha. So we constantly discuss our issue and how we can cure it and what day we’re at and why the fuck haven’t we exploded yet I swear to god it must be a family-thing? I also swear to god please don’t make it happen in the middle of nowhere Jesus holy Christ that’s all.
I have been cheating on my diet like I don’t care anymore I don’t think it’s working for me I’m going to stop suffering and start eating tubs of ice cream I GIVE UP. No. I’m just going to regroup and lower the fats/eat some carbs/cut out booze. Why in the hell did I even think that eating high fats would make me thin???? Obviously I am a cheater plus kind of dense and bound to screw it up and now that I am bloated from not crapping in for fucking ever I’m paranoid that that’s not bloat but a fat person gut. I have accepted that I am going to have a shitty summer as in not a skeleton so I’m going to just embrace and enjoy and take the teasings about my body because I figure “I deserve it” but I have also learned the rage trigger when one too many comments get made aka mother and brother so I cannot be blamed for when one of those assholes gets a black eye and I am not joking either so it’s pretty safe to say I am going to Atlanta this week to avoid all that haha.
Luckily these fat shirts are en vogue at the mo so I have time to try another psycho scheme to drop weight. Another reason that this has happened is that I don’t party anymore so like all the bloat plus the eating more just happens, plus it’s the burbs and winter nowhere to go or people to see so why go anywhere. I really hope I get skinnier in Aruba. This is going to be the most annoying blog to read the next while, more annoying than you already find it my friends.
Mall lighting. You’re so Warhol.
Time for a shower. What an interesting birthday month.
No filter. Just pose in the window to be flawless. I’m not even wearing tons of cakey makeup either honest I’m just super pale. Not for long! Arubbbbbbbba here I come. Oh and that’s how long my bangs are and my roots. Virgin hippie hair in no time. Yeah I got lots of wizard whites and greys slightly poking through I wonder what the sun will do to my hair top? What are the hair forecast trends anyway should I go to that or spearhead my own? Kay bye. Monday Monday can’t trust that day.