that’s not my bottle i don’t drink jack only disgusting punk bands who decide to gyrate my face during their shitty rock show, drink jack.
last nite the entire universe hit on me at the horseshoe, it’s cos i wore the success dress. who knew not dressing like a slob is powerful coupled with my long mermaid hair. i need to get ten more dresses like it in different colours oh i have to upload some pictures so i can share them and prove it to you guys in case you didn’t know this blog’s theme is PROOF. too bad every guy doing the hitting was on the closeted gay insanely wasted side. we went to some of nuit blanche stuff after the great lake swimmers show with erin and i met the singer and told him he was very johnny cash (at the church of the redeemer show, left out the part where i was asleep and crabby) and he said he would take it as a compliment i was trying v. hard to contain my creepy i was THIS CLOSE to saying i know all the words to all of your songs.
at nuit blanche in one building or other there were velvet ropes set up i think it was in the hart house (part of u of t yeah yeah i don’t know these things) and all these people were slow dancing and it was like a scene out of eyes wide shut so of course i made fil sway with me for a bit and people videotaped us then we went into the tiniest mini bar in the world i shouldn’t even bother explaining it with words art is just so ART MAN wow WOAH think about it etc haha for the rest of the day don’t read any words i put on my blog thank you. oh i was posing for fil and some guy comes up to me and asks if i am ok i said yeah sure he said well you look like you are going to take a dump. yeah hilarious one.
i used my first admirer to make this one skidaddle away, drunk loner roidheads are scary. later on outside these three non-violent skinheads came up in my face one was super aggressive, oh that’s nice you are racists but non-violent ones, way to make a difference.
people were lined up to go into a tent to see this and on our way out i tried to explain it to a girl who asked me if it was worth waiting in line, i said it was, BURN!
i am sad because my friend’s husband died a couple days ago, i don’t want to say who, but he was the nicest fucking guy ever, he idled his car for me once somewhere in greenwich village so i could run sneak up behind this dude (who called me chunky) and dump an entire large cup of white castle soda on his head then he drove me all the way back to park slope. it was kind of his idea too, well i said it out loud and he encouraged it, despite being totally thirsty and not telling me he wanted to drink the pop pretty bad, nicest fucking guy. so so so sad.
we went to a show last nite at the el mo, here’s a little woodstock break, we’ll revisit it later, don’t worry.
looks way better than it actually is, red room’s “singapore” noodles, one piece of egg/chicken (couldn’t tell the difference = bad) i chewed completely took it out of my mouth still intact, put it back in my mouth chewed it more, wondered if it was cooked, took it out of my mouth again, tore it apart with my fingers (slowly ripped it was so rubbery), held it to the candle to see if it was cooked, determined it was egg, set it on the side of my plate because by then it was like, um, this isn’t even worth swallowing or putting back in my mouth for the fifth time, still looked exactly as it did before it even went in my mouth. oh and that cup of whatever sauce you have to pour all over, how about making it taste good to begin with, that’s like bringing out some pasta and handing me a cup of pesto MIX IT IN THE KITCHEN!
that huge princess diamond ring i got in maine when i was 18, no fil did not propose.
irish men are heart breakers? hahahaha!
classiest bathroom in toronto.
me and lindy, i just realised major maker does that rollercoaster song what a retard you can see fat raymi in their music video for window on their myspace page, scroll down.
there you go babies, double whammy stripper nails.
lewis and clark, i liked the guy he was like jesus and charles manson, i think woodstock rubbed off on me.
ungh guy in the middle was so I AM THE LIFE OF THE PARTY asked us if we needed an extra ticket, i call wendi, she is staying in, then fil is taking my picture with his new lens and he screams out FACEBOOK! FACEBOOK! haw haw hwa HWA that’s sooo going on facebook and i am on the other side of the sidewalk out of punching distance weighing whether or not i should say excuse me do you understand the amount of ribbing you will be receiving on the fucking internet tomorrow morning and NO it will not be on facebook? i walk over and he goes do you need an extra ticket? i said NO we already tried for you REMEMBER!? thanks for adding to my el mocambo enjoyment vest guy.
ahh we meet again.
it appears to be so, i propose a truce!
bat for lashes are amazing, very bjorky before bjork decided she was too experienced to keep it real. last nite’s fans blew fucking cock, i hate the fucking el mo and what it does to fans, so territorial possessive over where they are standing and loudly talk shit about you behind your head because you asked politely to get by for a quick picture. there is a story in here i am not allowed to tell because 1. it is fil’s story and 2. he doesn’t want to burn bridges yet but let it be known that i was successful in the passive aggressive dept. when a certain someone tried to get by me after being fully rude to fil i blocked her with my arms folded like i didn’t know she was trying to get by she said excuse me i wouldn’t move pretended to be deaf then she tried to shove me with her body, she couldn’t so i just leaned back and let her by with her fat short dumpy ass forced to rub up against me.
tonite there is a possible chance for retribution.
the performance was so precious and special and magical but i couldn’t enjoy it because of everyone’s hostile bad attitudes and clustering, all my pictures are shaky too. so we missed a lot of the pretty bells jangly dancing shit. here’s a tip to any band thinking of playing toronto DO NOT PLAY THE EL MOCAMBO, IT IS A TERRIBLE VENUE, IF YOU NEED TO KNOW OF A VENUE TRY LEE’S PALACE OR THE HORSESHOE OR THE PHOENIX OR ANYTHING ELSE. i immediately do not enjoy myself there upon walking through the door.
regarding two chicks sitting beside us at the red room.
im sorry u had to come to america, it will be better soon, i promise, since george cant run again we will soon get our shit together and then we will kick the worlds ass again, cuz we’ll be on top again, and we’ll open lots of stores again and we’ll go to the mall again and we’ll buy lots of stuff to keep the world turning…i havnt got enough dead shotguns yet to make kurts pic fantastic , but i will soon, and thanks again,cuz he loves to hang out in the band room, by the jagstang….i promise ill send a pic at some point……..yes im wasted…thanks for asking!
mike
i’ll regret this tomorrow im sure…..as usual
too late this is going on my blooooooooog! i want a picture now! thanks for writing! haha
see my wicked roots what look ashy grey? it’s actually a dirty blond medley, i’m just going to let it grow out until it’s so incredibly disgusting to look at and every girl copies it or my mom takes me to get highlights.
got this for my niece.
leslie painted that.
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
ew is a picture of a crab really necessary?
disgusting.
usa sure does love its chemicals. fil hated these.
pee stop number three i bought these, looked around me and saw how incredibly fat everyone is and FAT teenage girls shot me infinity dirty looks while some just looked really uncomfortable standing beside me with their fat parents too which made me feel really bad and guilty, i know people make fat american jokes a lot and it is hurtful and mean but seriously, the states needs to fix it, i dunno, outlaw snacks and video games maybe?
people stare more in america, or maybe it’s just me or the truck stops, who knows. i am happy to be back in polite shy canada where people are too cool to let you know they think you are pretty and stare at the ground.
sharpie had to translate what this text meant to samir.
salmon fillet.
sharpie email me that booze delivery number so next time we are prepared thank you from now on i will only write you emails from my blog.
i am very tired in this picture, this is at dinner with leslie the first nite in after a long drive.
american tim horton’s right after we crossed the border.
garden vegetable on cheese croissant, they couldn’t toast it i said are you sure you can’t just throw it in that bagel factory she said it would set on fire dear american tim horton’s, change your bagel toaster settings to NOT ON FIRE.
i didn’t even bother to get the stains out of that dress, it has pockets too and when i put my hands in the pockets and walk people float away into dreamland.
leslie had this and got the rest to go which i inhaled some of before bedtime at 4 in the morning and then ate the rest the following afternoon.
fil had general tso’s chicken. we ordered a bottle of wine and barely had two glasses, asked beforehand if we could leave with it out the back door if we couldn’t finish it. score.
i had shrimp with looks like vomit lobstersauce and finished it in two minutes.
oh really are you sure i thought it was the other way around?
well duh why do you figure that’s where dead bodies go?
oh please, i am all ABOUT me-focused duties.
whimsical pillow party.
leslie has great taste.
she let me keep that i hope she doesn’t have second thoughts.
people in america line up in their cars to mail their letters at the post office’s mailbox outside on the sidewalk and the chute faces the road and sticks out at window level wtf it’s called walking! look forward to my obese america post.
it was so hot, i wanted to go swimming, that lake was deserted. fil didn’t bring a bathingsuit and leslie is porcelain-skinned. assholes.
this is where i was going to do stand-up.
and a girl yell-talk barked at me that i had wicked boots.
leslie is allergic to the entire universe she said no tomatoes.
fil’s burger was too rare, he sent it back for more cooking. he said it sucked.
from what? oh you are being cute i get it.
i told leslie to buy that to scare fil but i spoiled the surprise by telling him there was a surpise outside, i was worried it would be too effective as he was very fragile hung that day.
hippie atm directions.
my baby chicken burrito.
it was pretty good, you don’t have to tell them what you want in it, that’s one annoying thing about new-wave fusion restaurants where there are fifty different variations to one simple thing. i am hungry, make up my mind for me, thank you.
this one t-shirt place in town had a wicked bad attitude and because of that i didn’t get a shirt.
opus 40 <3
down in between the walls it was very cold, up above it was very hot.
here i am asking fil why he is being a bitch cos i was waiting for him to walk with me through the labyrinth part for the first time (the guy who built it was killed by his own creation so it’s a bit eerie-feeling) i called his name he answered but didn’t appear, then i called again louder and he didn’t come then i screamed his name i thought he didn’t hear me he appears and is like WHAT!? i said hello i asked you to come with me five minutes ago why are you being a bitch then he asked why i was being a bitch etc. do you get crabby with your bf/gf on vacations sometimes? anyway i got over it and explored the rest by myself.
