kinda boring kinda shy kinda getting used to dancing shy in a bikini kinda hating body right now.
i did one to midlake that’s way more interesting but the audio spits.
felt it was significant to capture my first piece of pasta in months like when i went through mcdonalds drive thru after not consuming the shit for 3 years! worth it. i dumped 1/3 of my portion onto beast’s plate.
this one is THE BEST, our commentary is pretty good. this pulled me out of my depression in a maje way. rob goes irish sometimes too, that is not a real irish accent but he IS irish. he referred to himself as an irish beast before i started calling beast by beast. he also thinks he looks like beast. the world is getting smaller anyway i will never forget this moment in time and the feeling of a flute’s echo coursing through my entire body. haunting and soothing. very shire. i want to go to ireland like yesterday. i won’t shut up about this band because i left the house wanting to blow my head off and they changed that.
so my brother he snaps at me at the end here haha fucker.
i just saved so much lifetime because i’ve learned that i can just plunk down the url to the photo w/o ten other html steps wow sorry i’m mindblown at the moment. i need a cigarette.
blurry scene. it’s like a mini vacation in bar mercurio. so italian so squished so high ceilinged so saw it in a movie once nostalgic poetic dark cozy christopher walken meeting madonna in that music video where he kills her?
i’ve been comin’ here for special occasions for five years now. weird right? well, i don’t like things to go to waste and i discovered this place so, it’s mine. annexing in the annex.
beast claims not to be a dessert guy. we didn’t talk while fastidiously fighting over the chocolate/whipped cream, moaning. realised hadn’t even touched the strawberry tartufo. oh my christ food reviews are the gayest. complimentary door stop thrown in for good measure. didn’t have a bite.
what stupid fucking pose am i doing now? i have to learn how to work this hair or i have this head cock to deal with for the next year. shit. i know, draw more attention to it!
ughhhh i look like an ant. a teenage mutant ninja ant like my mom calls them cos she forgot they were turtles HELLO we had all the action figures and video games, watched the show incessantly, had a board game. i brought beepop or rocksteady to school in grade one and someone stole it. how hot would it be to go as april for halloween? fuck halloween i can go as her tomorrow for that superhero party.
yeah you’re not bad either. it’s bad though when your blackberry camera is of better quality than your camera-camera. hopefully i just jinxed myself into dropping it down the stairs so i can get that new one (psst lia).
broke my earphones the other night when i came home from work on my bike late (sorry dad) and i got spooked by a noise, earphones dangling as i’m locking up bike as fast as possible to get inside safely, noise startled me and got tangled on my bike. no i did not wear these out in public i don’t have the self confidence for that. i get enough staring problems as is barely walking a block why do i need to throw earmuffs on in the summer time to encourage more?
melodie told me to go courtney love with my roots. i am too elegant for that. well, i’m the complete opposite of elegant therefore i cannot go courtney love.
wow my blogging quotient is going to go up up up now that i learned that new trick.
stoner chat date with spliffanie later this rainy afternoon. then she and him. who’s going to that? and to prove that i like zooey (two o’s!) more than you here’s my boner of the week post from july 7 2006. wow i just re-read that post, in 2006 i was a 23 year old idiot. big time. and now i am a 27 year old idiot. big time.
yesterday was pay day. today all i have is dance and then sweet fuck all (which is when the best things go down) til tomorrow wherein i have an appt with psychiatrist which is probably the most self indulgent of all, maybe. get party script off i go then it’s she and him (get to stare at zoey deschanel) vip sound academy and if that other bar across the way isn’t filled with execs get to have to self. drank tix with raymi the minx printed on them specially.
when they run out, get more.
thursday hair did with rose oh yes then rethink rhomp at steamwhistle (best gift bags ever) superhero theme can go dressed as any retarded fucking thing i want. friday cheese boutique is putting together a delectable lunch spread for me and we will discuss a collab. they’ve been spying on raymi for two years now. in-between all of this i will be power-guzzling wine and high-fivin’ every goddamn person i come into contact with. don’t work til saturday, wouldn’t have minded but oh well. i am also leaning out.
thanks for hitchin’ a ride on the bipolar express.
oh and melodie just told me terry’s gonna be hangin’ around the house soon. two words: FUBAR SEQUEL.
BOOM!
we’re goin’ to lady gaga at the end of july. we have two pairs of 4 tickets. for two dates. we’re going to flip the second set of 4. going to the first show. good seats. i have a date spot. you have to pay for the ticket though (cheapskate) this is the first ticket i have paid for since, um, a looooong time ago. also most expensive. worth it. tell me why you should be my date. you have to put out and buy all my drinks. YOU CAN EVEN BE A GIRL. and we’re dressing insane too. you have to dance on your chair. i’ve never planned so far in advance for something, paid for something i don’t get for months. we’ve been patient. so the extra four tickets for the second date are available for sale. email me if you’re interested.
i have this photo on my phone and stare at it when i get emo hahaha. something about the rich green leaves on a cold summer overcast day kissing at your window.
have your heard that jaydiohead karma police mash-up? well, you should. track 3, no karma.
++++
Kenneth Carr June 7 at 9:17pm
not that it matters, or that it should matter, but i’m not exactly digging that clamshell on your forehead in those fucking floppy dog redneck t-shirt photos. probably the lighting, it looks especially “deep” in those photos.
what happened to your pussy? i haven’t seen it in awhile. did you kill it? perhaps it got lost? tell me you ate it…
Raymi Lauren White June 8 at 11:55am
what the fuck are you talking about don’t ever write me something so irritating and confusing ever again. my time is disgustingly important and limited.
a girl artist wants this shirt baaadly, wants to pay for it and do an art trade. i was like for how much, she said 20 i said i was thinking more like 100 hahaha greedy guts and well, it’s one of a kind and it DOES say bob on the back and it IS my colour and i DO love it and it fits so well. i feel justified in selling things i love at inflated prices because owning them has made the value go up. a girl bought a stop die tee off lucas just because she knew raymi the minx wore it once. STRANGE. anyway, nebraska and i, we’ll do this bartering back and forth email dance for years to come until the shirt is backless like my queen t-shirt i gave skidfanie. speaking of, we need to do a resin raymi stoner chat asap.
Dear Raymi,
I would like to buy your Nebraska shirt from you. It is super cute and I love it, but not as much as I heart you! ^_^
Name your price woman.
Also –
I am a new knitter and your crazy flip flops with the built in leg warmers have inspired me to learn how to knit leg warmers. I think you will single handedly bring them back into style. I plan on making you a pair as well as it is only fitting. What color would you like?
Keep being awesome Ramibo.
Hugs,
Amanda Panda
Hmmmm I reeeeally love this shirt and its one of a kind and says bob on the back but I’m into weird exchanges and money so u say a number first and ill decide. Start high!
20 isnt worth it sorry its one of a kind
that scarf is amazing tho too bad it isnt scarf season
Haha. Sorry I am broke and jobless dude. But maybe when I get a job. Also – if you ever get tired of it … ^_^
And yeah, maybe in winter you will be more receptive towards it.
We can keep this nebraska tshirt dance going for years
shit i should just do it based on how adorable and flirty her correspondence is alone.
REAL TIME UPDATE!
Ok I managed to ho myself out.
$75 + the scarf for the t-shirt. You and that post were a freaking TEASE! I hate you. But I love you.
Hit me back.
DEAL and i’ll throw in the raymi scent free of charge.
christine ordered herself a pair of gold tubeflops. see how i can sell sell sell just about anything? EXCUSE ME, PEOPLE WITH MONEY I HAVE INFLUENCE. i want to see a picture of the gold ones like right fucking now.
mango tour courtesy carlton. look at this non-touristy land he has in jamaica!!! um guess who’s down for that? rule of the bone is one of my top ten books and a good portion of it takes place in jamaica. LORD’A MERCY!
this is what i look like after crying off and on all day. i can’t remember who but she said crying makes you look prettier sometimes. vulnerable? same as glassy-eyed blotto drunk. combine the two.
cheese too. does your bar let you do this? i’m glad we’ve expanded our drinking hemisphere for strung out sunday’s mess club, rob. before this we were at, where else, mitzi’s and took in the best soul healing irish band. i’ll post some videos in a bit. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
heard music when i was trying to disco nap saturday evening and it was actually carlton’s reggae backyard garden jam. i was close to scaling some backyard fences to say hello. next time i will. and yes i called him carlton banks. he said it was a nickname anyway.
two kind of mangos. so great. i love people who carry food with them everywhere. especially organic indulgent delicious foods.
oh man what a weekend. so many cool things, so many uncool things. definitely running on steam. empty. almost fainted at dance today, well practically did. luckily and coincidentally it was during this part of the do your duty dance where we take a knee so i was all wobbly weak teetering and had to put my hand on the floor then i timed it with the canon arm circle wave and went to have a time out. i was so weak from exhaustion heat stress starvation dance dance dance physical activity in the heat and anxiety. had an attack, took part of a chill pill waited out the panic attack (typically 20 minutes) then it goes away and then you turn into a zombie from the ‘pam. yesterday i ran on empty too and the day before that and the day before that and pretty much every single day before that since back to i don’t know when. it just feels like i am going from one hostile environment to another and there’s something stressful behind each corner some of it you can predict but can do nothing about. cannot adequately vent about it here.
my cousin came out of the closet and family things for him are not good. this was my phone call en route to dance, sort of a mini-crisis sponsor chat during the 15 min ride of meditation i had planned for. then attack at dance. then some shit after dance. and some shit yesterday. guh. anyway. there i mentioned it, released it and now can carry on with the week.
my nap was great. i always feel victorious when i nap like when i blow my nose properly (i am nose blowing deficient) as i never nap, feel like losing the day is a horrible offense.
the first date i went on friday was a bust. not to dog him, but no chemistry. he talked about his sister too much and was a little rigid. very cute though. jewish. photographer. errr. anyway. i took him to watusi and wouldn’t you know it our girl the waitress was there and this time we did our secret spoke club wink wink at each other. quick changed in the bathroom off to czehoski and pass date one on to date two on my bike practically in front of czehoski’s ahhhhhhh hi ding ding just meeting my gf meet ewan mcgregor looking guy drag to harlem underground where THAT waitor says to me at the bar in front of erin who i bump into that this is the third time now he’s seen me with a third guy. that guy needs to learn the spoke club code of mistress silence like my watusi girl hahaha. date two was better than date one. walked all the way home in the rain. late. woke up early for work. and so on. saturday nite made up for everything though.
rob is on the way over to look at how bloodshot my eyes are from bawling them out.
here i am in date two outfit.
date one does not know about my blog. date two is an architect.
pretty indulgent. afterward went to sweaty betty’s where i tried to be a baller and bought 18 year shots of jameson. kind of a dumb $30 last call thing to do but funny, sort of? i live like a begger, tips to tips mostly, no savings. out of control. i don’t think i can even afford to be blond anymore how tragic is that. hilarious almost. i have to stop slacking now i have so much opportunity here i’m done being a child.
this store confusd my brother.
you can buy me one of these any time now.
guess which one i picked out for kamila.
my brother is a hunk and hailey is just gorgeous.
oh crystal. slammin’ outfit.
right down to these puppies.
dr. robert killed it. we want them back.
…as Gord has said “It’s not like it’s some big mystery, it’s practically on display”
The world loves a fighter, Lady. Keep fighting.
i win because i pulled my shirt out of the laundry before going out to this fancy engagement party. i look like the annoying euro at the party nobody wants to talk to anymore. i love being a shithead. white dress behind me did the worm in stacked heels so awesome. hi!
the blink pose is one of my favourites. i almost cut my bangs. f that i’m growing them out and getting my roots done this week.
every time beast took my photo this other guy started taking mine as well with his camera so i vamped for him instead cos i don’t want a stranger having a shitty photo of me yet i can show thousands of strangers my shitty photos here? cool logic. also, beast’s friends are all calling him beast now hahaha. if you become my homie you are guaranteed a nickname. i’m changing my facebook box from FAMOUS PEOPLE LIKE ME to I WILL GIVE YOU A NICKNAME.
it’s been awhile since we’ve made fun of me to my face together so here’s the garbage i put on my dating profile that i’ve decided to take down for the time being or just straight ignore until i do. messages keep piling up, i don’t know how to change my photos which is half the fun of it like on facebook or blogging i am constantly evolving looking hotter or not hotter and not being able to show dudes this is irritating. i have not looked at one other girl’s profile so i don’t know what the competition is like though i hear they all suck compared to mine. shit like I LOVE TO LAUGH. please. as with everything i do in life i half-assed my profile.
anyway i feel like in the short time i’ve tried this out there’s just been too many duds, not that they’re duds just no chemistry. how many dates did i go on? 4 5? i have some great stories i’ll share another time. so here’s my laying it on super thick advertorial, bold is my afterthoughts commentary to you guys:
I am Seeking a
Man
For
Long term
Do you drink?
Socially more like epicly
Marital Status
Single
Profession
Writer (a real one)(as in paid), bartender, artist the writer thing is irritating cos the guys pretend to be all interested and then we have to discuss it and it goes all hipster artist music art scene and so on. snore.
Smarts
Some college lied
Do you want children?
Undecided/Open
Do you do drugs?
No so lied
Do you have children?
No
Do you have a car?
No
Interests
Blogging
Burlesque
beach
nice wine no broke motherfuckers
oldies tunes
all the right movies also annoying cos then they ask to see how quirky or film-buffy i am. guy who cares?
beatles
kerouac
tom waits
mcqueen
dylan
weed
hippies
artists
comedy
good times
travel fly me somewhere
health and debauchery you can be a fuck up as long as you feel guilty about it
ok get ready to laugh
About Me
Clever, quick-witted cross between zoey deschanel i am weird and beautiful? and my mother she will love that but yeah, my mother is incredibly nurturing as much as she drives me insane she’s solid and so am i, well i could be if i needed to be, hahah ugh exactly. Somewhat of a serial monogamist I WANT A FUCKING BOYFRIEND, first time being single in ages by choice, first time making a go at this dating site thing also i am not a loser. Was engaged last year, left fiance after being together five years. i have to stop telling people this but i felt it was an important thing to mention like i’m worthy enough to be considered marriage material looking for more out of life i’m bored lets do this, enjoy the simpler things as well as spur of the moment indulgences. work hard i am busy, play hard i party and look good while doing it no uglies. Into closeness smothering the shit out of you, and building a life with someone you will be pussy whipped. Experiences are so much more enriching when shared with a partner fact. Am good for long periods of time spent together but also understand the importance of space read: when you’re being a crabby piece of shit i will let you think that i am the problem not you so go read the paper in the park and get the fuck out of the house your passive aggression makes me want to puke. I like to ride my bike or amble across the city on foot on my days off listening to music in the sun BAKED. going out to nice restaurants that you will take me to, dancing, patios, hanging out in the park on blankets, reading, doesn’t matter ultimately it’s the company that matters. I love music too but am no music snob by any means, it doesn’t define me could care less we all know this by now. I’m a pretty creative cook, fearless i have fucked up eating issues. I love animals. debt-free, kid-free, ready to rock you can have kids cos i don’t? just turned twenty seven i will be saying this until the night before my 28th birthday. Oh i love movies and live music and live sports only if drinking is included I like cottaging please have access to one. I can be equal parts princess trophy girlfriend and dirtbag sometimes i don’t shower. i’m into pubs i can hang with the guys and fine dining you better be too. put me anywhere and i will make it fun i am a hyper spazz.
this next part was the afterthought because i started reading guy’s profiles and saw how much everyone was fluffing up their steeze so i felt i should bring it a little more.
essentially, i set out to make myself famous ten years ago and carved out a specific little niche, successfully. don’t really want to advertise it on here, trying to get by on looks and charm alone, for once. basically i’m a smart one, a lucky one. maybe i’ll tell you about it someday.
and then there’s this little wacky part you fill out.
First Date
on our first date i’d suggest a handful of options or let you figure it all out you’re paying. somewhere atmospheric, cozy. once i get over nerves if i like you i’ll probably demand to squeeze your leg or something affectionate grope the shit out of you more-like so you better be into PDAs otherwise piss off. i’m a secret romantic though can be shy about it. i can know a person my entire life and still have moments of shy around them i am adorable. once we decide that there’s mutual chemistry between us the rest pretty much just writes itself. we can hang out on a dumpster doesn’t matter we’re in lust.
i dance like something you’ve never experienced before. a little motown, old timey funk, with great rhythm i will school you. not to brag or anything but i’m that girl your friends hate you for getting to first guys love competition and the thought of their friend having something before them makes them sick. manipulation tactic.
basically i feel like anyone on a dating site is a loser. me included. the worst part about going on dates is seeing hotter tail cruising on by when you’re in the middle of being stuck in an hour or so long meeting. i am way too polite. meredith was right, the guy for you is not on the internet. he’s in the park not talking to you because he’s a fucking idiot.
sometimes i just can’t help myself. that’s me and mr sapporo also mr sleeman, same company eh who knew? not me i know shit all.
oh man so serious. clem is wearing my teeny weeny sweater cos it was pretty damp and cold. he is a skinhead now. he looks like an asian wilson brother in royal tennenbaums when he shaves his head and attempts to kill himself. bush league. love that scene.
central party sweepin’ the city.
here i am trying to be anorexic.
yep none. well, ‘cept for like a lot. and some.
bumped into rob on my way home today he’s a bit bummed. stealing someone’s video footage is like stealing a diary. it’s useless to them right? brutal.
in kind of a weird order.
total superhero outfit. i’ve gotten missed connections on that shirt alone. she was complimented all nite and it made me bratty.
like i wasn’t getting enough attention already. my outfit actually saved luke and i a biking through red light ticket from the popatronz. shaba!
uh whoops. meh. lucas has two wives. big love.
if i don’t blow off steam i blow my head off. that’s the way she goes.
a leather vest holy last nite’s party much.
uh whoops again free show what the hell is going on behind me?
this is why i don’t bother taking my camera out all the time. i got no explanations. just off i go into the ether.
earlier at mitzi’s always great. we complain about how much we go there, practically live there but we love it. it would be cool if everything was at least two dollars cheaper though. there’s just something about the number 10 in a price that freaks me out. you could put 9.95 and then make up a 1.00 additional charge just so i don’t have to see 10.95 you know? city life is not cheap.
my first pho experience. yes, i have been living in a cave on a moon orbiting a sun in a galaxy far away. it was PHOnomenal!
oh joseph you crazy diamond shine on shine on why am i talking like this right now? i had a late nite. was up early. dad’s band playing was a success. i just tried to nap but a rasta band or a rasta party has been afoot since i got home outside my window. i am so tanned miami beach jewish ladies are flying me in to make me an honorary yenta.
i went to shopper’s to grab a trimmer for down there. i use one of those 5-in-1 things that are meant for dudes but they all trim trim (heh) just fine so you don’t have to get one specifically for ladies. i’ve been secretly using melodie’s and the batteries died so i thought i’d just go get my own. of course i drop it before it’s even out of the package and the one best attachment breaks off and won’t affix back on. ever. i sat on the ledge of the tub and stared at myself in the mirror and watched steam come out of my nose. the other attachment will work and the trimmer itself isn’t broken but it’ll take ten minutes longer to clear the teeniest area and it’s quite the jungle down there. awesome.
dragged the family to wrong bar last nite and it was a dub step night which essentially is the same old garage music, jungle (two jungle mentions in one post!) house whatever the crap that ecstasy makes palatable in your ears. i didn’t wear short shorts beneath my risky business dress this time. my underwears are booty shorts anyway so who cares. i complimented these hot rich lame chicks on looking good, said one looked like sienna miller, they ignored our drunken gaggle then lucas gets all offended and starts beakin’ they say you talking to us i say no i was talking to the cab, that cab looks exactly like sienna miller. then inside in the bathroom one of them says i look good, not putting it together that i started the compliment war but anyway that was an example of how positivity (no matter how obnoxious) spreads. no way that girl would have doled out a prop if not for me, not the type of girl you know, snotty, competitive-seeming. hope she sticks to being a saint like me.
speaking of here’s a video of me crappily drumming as a brunette at my dad’s house from 1964.
i just wish my face was more orange here.
so my dad’s band DR. ROBERT is playing tomorrow at the central 3-6pm afternoon show so bring your kids on by for lunch or your crew cos finally it’s convenient to see them playing not in a suburban location. i will not be drumming don’t worry i’ll be getting paid to listen to them for once. check their posters…
bring your moms and dads and every wasp in the annex, they love this shit.
dudes in bars chatting me up please have better breath next time thank you.
what the fuck am i doing inside right now looking at pictures of last nite?
there are a ton of hilarious shots i’ll blog later. also from our sapporo party wednesday nite with the central crew. shit show!
poor rob. while this was being taken his place was being robbed. hello i’m rob and i was robbed. good thing he wasn’t there at the time though, not safe. i hope he’s not thinking but maybe IF i was home they wouldn’t have come? at least they didn’t jack his longboard. that sucks. go parkdale!
if you haven’t seen rob’s movie yet by the way (he’s made many) and you live in (or hate) toronto, you really need to.
still doing waif-like diet. the headaches are the best part.
