sorry i’ll try not to talk about haaaaaaaaters anymore. i become momentarily entertained but then it really pisses people off who totally do not hate me and then we have the same fight over and over again. here’s a quickie post before i have to dash out.
i’m growing out my bangs. summer is over time for the bang swoop. this is sort of what i look like right now. turned that mess of a hair into a bun thing.
this is where i lived at 19. the infamous crawford ghetto. ugh. hahaha. this is where lucas and i first ever lived together. then i let all the crazies in. that front window was my bedroom.
if I leave a nasty comment i am a hater if i leave a fawning comment i am alright oh raymi can so many negative nasty haters really be wrong? they just see you that’s all. no big deal. content. take a picture if yourself thinking about it over a drink and some gourmet pizza…
raymi: no you’re nothing that’s the thing. if you leave a nasty comment, you are a nasty person. if you leave a nice comment, you are a nice person. not just here, anywhere, in general. get it? look instead of just trying to dig at me as a person, tell me what it is that is pissing you off about me so much.
i worked for my gourmet pizza you jealous little twat so if you hate that, maybe step it up a little for yourself and earn your own gourmet pizza.
mom: The reason you get more nasty comments then most is because of the large volume of traffic. It comes with the territory.
So you attract the fans and the miserable jealous ones too who shoot off negativity for attention.
If you’re asking them to tell you what pisses them off
your opening up a whole can of worms because everything pisses off critical abusers.
If you are open though to being critiqued on certain aspects,
you need to be strong enough to know what is true & good for you, and what isn’t.
For instance. Sometimes you say yourself you have so many photos and you can’t decide so you put them all up.
So less might be best in certain instances.
Its all about experimenting with suggestions and figuring out which ones are more fitting to you.
why on earth would the volume of photos i post get on someone’s nerves? they can get fucked for all i care. me saying tell me what bothers you so much is basically being like, i dont care what you think but maybe YOU should think about why you felt the need to tell me this opinion of yours that you took the time to share. is it going to change me? what is the intent aside from the obvious desire to hurt me. i don’t even have time to have this back and forth volley because i am too busy living my dream and achieving my goals and sharing it on my blog. if someone is jealous that’s their problem not mine and guess what i AM human and i DO have feelings and i am sad a LOT of the time and this ISN’T always easy. it IS work.
Mjölnir:
I love your photos Raymi, every one of them – an interesting chronology, to say the least.
You look like you have some Norse in your lineage, and your actions are like those of a carefree swede, please tell me your part Svenska!
Thanks for brightening up my day.
Skal!
i love this comment!!!!
letsgethisstraightshallwe? Says:
ok, i’ll confess. you killed papa doc with your voodoo.
the bee says:
its so lame that people keep coming back, looking at this blog and leaving nasty hurtful comments. its so simple, if you don’t like, don’t look. the end. clearly they’ve got a case of the jelly mellies and think they can break you down and then what.. you’ll stop blogging? will they feel like they’ve succeeded if you stop? or would they just be bored now they don’t have a blog to read. aaaaannoying.
raymi: you mean i won you over?
well bee according to the first “hater” comment they’re all supposed to be right, but, about what? i don’t see the point. what does it matter to me if 400 people hate me, if they hate me why are they charting my every waking move? is it like ok magazine?
evendoctorlauraknows Says:
won me over? no, you played ping pong with me. it’s all just a base form of entertainment. like big brother meets the bachelor. you are not to take it personally, negative or positive. we come back-haters and fawners and in-betweeners ’cause there is nothing good on tv anymore and we are too tired to masturbate so we watch you in your cage. like silence of the lambs but shot in toronto. u see?
in my cage? ok you’re a little affected there. thank you for explaining to me that i am entertainment, i’ve been doing this dance for ten years and now i finally see that i am entertainment. guess what water is wet too i learned that this morning also. i do not take it personally as i don’t take it seriously, how can you take anyone seriously if they’re anonymous and saying the most ridiculous shit to engender a response? you aren’t human to me if you don’t act it.
yououghtnotmixyourmetaphors! Says:
well kid, of course you take it seriously so drop that affectation. look…all we are saying is give peace a chance and think about larger dreams. you gonna learn to write about shit that matters? or what? this here not the chronicles of narnia. it’s the chronicles of excess. i enjoy reading about your early stage alcoholism but i need more cowbell. you got one thing right though. i am an asshole. a nothing? that’s excessively cruel. and inaccurate. the end.
when you prod at someone unnecessarily you become a nothing to them as a means to protect theirself from harm. you fucking slung mud at me with that alcy comment, uncool. you have offensive social manners. you have mentioned the pink elephant in the room because you are bored, therefore, boring. this is the chronicles of pays my fucking bills if you are looking for literature WALK TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY. ASSHOLE. you seek attention from someone who makes their living based upon it. i have won. i take my blog seriously. you, your comments, i do not. i knew you would confuse that and i kept it there because i thought perhaps i might actually be dealing with a smart person here.
what shit matters to you why don’t write about your fucking self?
also, my buddy tyler stewart of the barenaked ladies had this to say, prior to your stupidity, (his opinion matters, he is a legend),
You are so ALL RIGHT it’s ridiculous. Don’t change your path, quest, anything. You know what you’re doing more than any of your peers. Keep on being RAYMI. Until you can’t…. xox
all of this went down here i have no idea the relevancy of the comment linkage to the post itself. do you guys even know how much crazy i deal with behind the scenes? like, people who don’t even know they’re crazy. you threaten to make an example of them and they come back with ludicrous shit like documented evidence of my attempting to screw with their miiiinds. seriously. so, do me a favour “haters” unless you have some actual constructive criticism for me, leave me the hell alone. i mean, go to town all you want just realize i have actual mentally (scary) ill people contacting me alongside you. some people don’t have the capacity of understanding that part of my job is making people become obsessed with me. the scariest part can and is the part when it actually works but yet, they don’t know how effective a salesman i am so they legit obsess and freak on me, remember the most random obscure bits of information about you i can only imagine how terrifying it is for real celebrities aghh i’m freaking myself out now bye i wasted the day like an insane shut in like the good old days.
ironic how i feel no guilt over blogging yet immense guilt over the time it takes to do such. also writing. being an indoor kid. i feel disgusted with myself when i feel like i have wasted time, or a day but i know i do a lot, more than many. i am learning how to mellow out it’s hard.
flickr is being a bugger so no pix just words for now see ya.
last night i flirted with pole dancing lessons at flirty girl fitness studios with carly (ripe off a week-long tiff bender she was). do i seem like the pole dancing type? (obviously) i mean do i seem like one of those girls? kinda cheesy no? well, i’ve always wanted to try it i think its been around for years now since women decided to start owning their sexuality, taking back their power all that cougary awesome shit. i put pole dancing classes in the to do pile years ago it’s not something you wake up one day and go oh, think i’ll try that. you need motivation. you need a gaggle of girls to go along with which is cool as i think it’d be a perfect bachelorette party activity for sure. i’m the type of person who will do or try anything, i am not rigid, i have fun. this obviously seems like a fun thing to try and one day you may find yourself in a dive bar with a pole, how cool would it be to dominate that? like the one at tattoo rock parlour (gag) i always try to do some moves on it. there’s also one at annex wreckroom. and one in the back room of the bovine and i love it when crust punks climb it myself included.
tramp stamp! i told carly she needs an image makeover she can’t go myspace anymore people keep pre-judging her everywhere we go and it infuriates me, they don’t take her seriously, they’re rude, ugh, i will come back to this.
i will preface this with yesterday was day one ground zero menses bloated. i am way leaned out today i would have preferred to be photographed on a lankier day though. over it.
i’m going back today with my week long media pass to try other classes they have as i suck at pole dancing. the studio is located closer to me than my gym so i’m going to do something each day this week. i am so pumped fabfind found me to begin with to hook me up with all these services in the city, perfect for my spazztastic will do and/or try anything MO all you have to do is suggest me something and i’m game. pretty easy. also when you have ample time for this shit. next i’m getting a facial, all this super normal stuff i never do because i never have time and i never pamper myself. i have been doing it wrong for a long time. living backward.
i’m just used to putting someone else first and doing little things for myself IF there is enough time after that like i look at my life and all the luxuries i have, the ins and outs and i am confronted by so much empty time that i know will fill up and it does but beyond that i have laid out this life for myself that is unstructured, free and open it’s kind of overwhelming to be so free.
which is precisely why i am boyfriend hunting like i need a babysitter or something. i am attracted to my opposite, someone controlling and stern and structured. well i thought i was up until very recently. had a hang out with one of the men in my life and he was the moodiest motherfucker ever i could not believe it. brought me back to a few past relationships, it was borderline abusive and i have only known this person a handful of weeks. too soon to be operating as such. also, oh no you dih-in’t.
i will never call this person again and i don’t expect them to get in touch with me and i do not care either way. i am never putting myself into a situation like that ever again. i don’t know why or how i am able to tolerate so much abuse and stress and make allowances for people who are shitty to me. i think it fascinates me how awful one can be i feel challenged by it emotionally and i let it continue and the person’s moods rollercoaster all around you they are like begging you for confrontation and you never give it so they act completely mental and you wake up one day and go ok this has got to stop now i’m sorry you thought i was an actual cruel person and you like want me to tell you where to go, spar with you, i just don’t operate like that. my heart is good and it is there. i am not evil i actually seek harmony i don’t know why you have to piss all over everything all of the time.
some guys sabotage the relationship too. they can’t believe the catch they have caught so they test you every fucking day. it’s sick. i have been in so many fucked up emotionally abusive and physically abusive relationships just had a moment of clarity about it i feel like murdering these people right now but i learned how to let anger go. i don’t really blow my fuse ever despite it seeming so on here. i have minor little spats that take me so much courage to get the nerve of releasing that by the time i actually say something i am already unburdened and the person is like, that was it?
so i go between being completely fine with being single, fuck that i don’t need a man self-empowerment moments to outright loneliness. but i was always lonely so i’m used to it. it’s a different kind of loneliness. it can make you bratty and spend way too much money. it makes you picky. it’s nice to be able to pick and choose who you spend time with and you don’t have to worry if you and your partner both like this person and the best part you don’t have to force your friend into hanging out with your wet blanket (who treats you like shit anyway ahahhaa).
and everyone invites you places again because it’s easier to be a plus one instead of a plus two and you don’t have to fight over whether both of you feel like doing this thing. sorry we can’t come because someone wants to stay in on the couch. which i DO love but you know, it’s nice to spread yourself around when you’re in your twenties.
i notice some of the men i meet or talk to (“work”) make a point of mentioning their wives or girlfriends. never really noticed that before. it’s like they are out loud reminding themselves not to do or say anything inappropriate but also so you don’t get any ideas and not to be a priss or conceited but some of these guys there is not a high chance in hell of me doing aaaanything with them ever so this is why i feel like they feel it’s important to let me know from the get-go they’re taken like if i know this but still make a move i at least knew and therefore it’s on me.
wow this was so not the idea i had in mind for this post hahaha. carly and i showed up late and sweated profusely within like 4 minutes of twirling. brutal. humiliating.
hahahahha making this my fb profile photo. i was like can you imagine if casie were here we were mental enough without her. of course i showed up baked. slightly. biking cancels out my high. also my period made me super weak and i was really crampy and i’ve been too lazy to buy advil so i’ve been all hippie dealing with the pain, literally, weed (if it’s good enough for cancer patients) and just letting the cramps happen.
ok so this post went off topic (slightly)(don’t they all though and isn’t that what my blog is all about anyway?) when i started being a martyr about how selfless i am hahahaha and apparently i come across as down to earth. ??????
we learned this move called the fireman’s pole. i sucked. well, i already know how to do some twirls but my brain is dyslexic and i just can’t do it the way i’m taught. carly was really good and smooth.
coincidentally after all this i went to for your eyes only for a night cap with a date. only because it was closer to bier markt (horrible cake and service, rude to carly) and closer yet than that awful pub i went to two sundays ago. i have a habit of going back to places that suck, i blog that they suck, then i go back for more suck and yep, they still suck. see how i am an abuse enabler? please remind me i want to go to that adorable pub at the corner of wellington and portland. so charming and irish aghhh that’s the type of place that makes me want to have a boyfriend.
being in this class and then later seeing the skills put to practice (in the club), well, mad respect. i am keeping my blogging job though. met a guy through a guy friend recently told him i was quitting my bar job, now this person knows of me through bartending, not blogging first, so he thinks i’m an idiot with nothing else going on for me. i’ve had a lot of these conversations recently but anyway i say no i’m not getting another job because i am a writer, pause, blogger. he cuts me off and smugly says that i should just say that i’m a writer and keep the blogger part a secret. i snapped at him and said actually no, i shouldn’t. blogging has opened so many doors for me more than many writers i’ve ever met. i’ve been meaning to do one of my raymi signature railroading blog yelling manifestos for awhile now inspired by this moment in time. i am proud to be a blogger. i am not sheepish about it at all in any way shape or form. i listed off on four hundred fingers all the opportunities blogging has gotten me, parties, concerts, fame, merchandise, money and then i said so that is why i will not say writer and hide the blogger. a blogger is so much more than a writer. a blogger transcends. ten years of my life is shackled to this it’s the longest relationship i’ve ever had. a blogger is dedicated. a writer, starves. ahha ok ok i’m both i’ll shut up.
i’m pretty sure i tangented at him in a very smug tone oh yeah, i should be embarrassed? did you know i made my fucking self famous off this blogging thing i’m supposed to keep secret according to you, whom, might you be by the way? no seriously. who the fuck are you? then everyone at the table laughs finally cos my change of tone had released some tension thank christ. i get very indignant and defensive. i am ready to fight a war at the drop of a hat. it’s terrible. deal with it. you think you’re taking someone lying down when you meet me but you’re wrong and i apologize. this only happens when i meet someone equally as defensive as i am so can i really be to blame? it’s like 50% my fault so i’m not that much of a monster. sorry for challenging you intellectually. i think this is why the whole (hater) commenting on (my) blog thing works for me and in an over-saturated medium (blogging/social media) i stand out because my voice is so, angry at the world. i got heart and half the time i am an idiot so it all works.
i had to get chalk for my hands to make it tacky as the pole gets slick fast if you sweat a lot like i do. the girl was like not too much cos it will get too tacky. um my sweat disintegrated that chalk immediately i could go through an entire bag.
carly was mesmerized and enchanted. it’s a fun environment, the lights are cozy, my favourite desctriptive word. the facilities are pink, which i love. hot pink chandaliers, pink boxing gloves, inviting and girly. no boys allowed is the best part.
conveniently located too, spadina/wellington. you can tell money has been pumped into the place as the facilities are gorgeous and the instructors are pros.
can’t you picture a girl’s night out/in beginning here? wine pole dance movie rental crying on the couch trash talking men cathy comics chocolates… in fact i saw a flirty girl fitness demo last year at the precious metal gala and knew one of the girls, daina. also played against her in dodgeball. look how fit she is.
she said they keep it sporty as it can go pervy just like that when a bunch of dudes are watching a demo. this was an all chick event put on by harley davidson. i went alone and felt awkwaaaard. woah check my hair out in there i’m not looking i don’t want to get trapped in my archives. it happens. meanwhile i purposely selected the perviest screen shot for my vimeo video. prick.
had to stop myself from breaking out the jazz moves alone in here. sometimes at my gym i am tempted to use the empty studio room but then everyone would watch and i’m too shy for that they think i’m mental enough as is in the crazy outfits i wear.
would i do this again? well not pole dancing but everything else totally. i still think you should try it (pole dancing) you’re probably a better listener than i am. i didn’t take it as seriously as i should have because i know my body’s limits and i’m stubborn. like, i will never get the knack of knitting. or putting a duvet cover on. or enjoy the sound of accents. people just have their “things” and you can’t fuck with that but i WILL be going there today for something so maybe i’ll bump into one of you, or something else this week. i think i’ve convinced them to let me take someone with me to take more photos. if they say no then fine no more coverage i’ll just treat it like an actual work out and tell you about the results with wooooords.
tickle trunk land. britt came by the other day before i cleaned my room and was like uhh is this what your brain looks like? yes. it does, i said. my mom used to say a messy room means a messy mind. clutter free room, clutter free mind. we were spoiled rotten and never had to do chores as kids, or clean our rooms so our rooms were always trashed. my mom would pay neighbourhood kids to clean my room isn’t that retarded? close friends of family kids, they got to go through all my things so many things i couldn’t even catalogue what i had so when my mom would let them leave with my shit i’d see something around the neighbourhood and be like HEY THATS MY FUCKING SHIRT! stuff would be missing for months and i wouldn’t notice til i saw it. i found so much shit next door at kristi’s grrrrrrrr mom so pissed what the hell is wrong with you?
i love knowing a sous chef. especially one at marben. guess who is eating this city. jesus wait’ll you see what happens tomorrow and the night after. anyway alex wouldn’t let me leave until he made me something. his delicious bass was so delicious (when do you get to go napoleon dynamite reference in real life ever and mean it? never!) carly ate it and she’s vegetarian! you know how alex and i met? he insulted me on twitter in his feed. i screamed back at him. he said @raymitheminx you’re such a fuck’n show off. so i DM’d him (i don’t give people i decide to be enemies with attention in my feed) YOU REALIZE THIS IS MY FUCKING JOB ASSHOLE something to that effect. love at first sight hahahaa. thanks for the food (and the wine) alex!
someone far more famous than i asked me last nite if i enjoyed being this provocateur so out there and so on. i never really stopped to think about that before. yes and no. i would like to lead a simple life someday a private life i think. i said unfortunately this is the only way for me now this is how it is.
the flash delay on my bb was messing with my posing game. sometimes there is a compulsive need to document and capture every moment it’s not a need at all it’s an addiction? a habit that you don’t take note of, it’s normal but then you wake up to a billion stupid photos and wonder what the point was. oh right, that thing called blogging.
i said thank you and he goes NO THANK YOU guess it’s not everyday you see two girls one truffle feeding up in there eh boy? pretty funny he’s totally blushing too aw.
waiting for my meat i made the boys really nervous and they couldn’t get the right one i asked for cut me like two different kinds. hot quebec genoa salami i get it every time. make a note of it. the hotter and nuttier and older the better.
i look hot and fat and bloated. so pumped for flity girl fitness today. i worked out all weekend long drank very little i feel like a switch went off in my head finally i am ready to own skinny again. do you know what it’s like to be fat with a six pack? i do!
i was given a bar of the raspberries and dark chocolate one, it comes with a love poem i was going to save it for a date or something, someone i love, and loves me but there is NOOOOOO ONE so i ate half of it and told melodie to hide the other half in her bedroom. i started to read the poem aloud in the kitchen but then got annoyed and jammed a thumbtack into it into the corkboard and stormed out frustrated instead and we went for a glass of wine.
every time we chat it’s when i am being handed some ridiculous piece of cheese or meat that i am about to consume so i have tunnel vision for it thus canceling out anything you have to say or here’s a bag of stuff specially selected for me as if i am listening.
i look like stephanie tanner when she had to get glasses and hated life. mel tried these on and was blown away by how strong the magnification is. apparently i am blind. she said to lucas hey did you know lauren needs glasses? i said they correct stoner eyes. i don’t want to get my eyes checked i’m too young waaaah.
that pasta he’s holding is what legit italians use for macaroni like it’s no big deal and cheese boutique imports it exclusively. exclusive is the new NEW on a product.
don’t you want to smoosh your face in my hair? it’s really soft and pretty and smells nice. just saying. i’m digging through the bag now that we’ve started i want to see what else christmas brought.
we’ve pretty much consumed everything in that bag. all the cheeses and sausage, roasted almonds, the cherry butter spread (i’ve been eating with a spoon) the strawberry compote we still have. melodie cooked the french lentils last nite (best healthiest meal ever) we have yet to hit the olive oils but we will.
afrim gave me two cheeses that his wife loves. one of which is twenty bucks. high roller. it’s all gone now i ain’t no poseur (foodie) eater, i eat. and eat.
i love melodie in this blazer. that’s the high roller cheese afrim is showing her. they took prices off everything so i couldn’t add it all up at home like a grinch but they missed that one.
had just received palettes of this sparkling lemonade so he threw in a couple, blood orange and pomegranate. guzzled the hell out of them. afrim suggested making a cocktail, way ahead of you there haha. had them straight up virgin though cos we were good kids this weekend.
i would seriously be a cow if i worked there i dunno know how he’s so thin. hustles his ass off and doesn’t eat enough i guess. he is like, a real business guy. that’s how you can gauge one’s business by how skinny everyone is or isn’t. stress = skinny = success. you can figure out on your own what the opposite is for this equation.
I read some of your “writings” on the internet. You’re right at the top of the list of being DISGUSTING. You should apologize to your mother……..for being born. NASTY NASTY NASTY!
+
your hair looks fucking ridiculous.
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You are conceited in your posts, more so than lately. I know you think you’re all that, but really, you’re not gorgeous enough to be so so self-centred. You’re what my friends and I call “fake pretty.” You’re one of those girls who dyes her hair platinum, and you get attention because of that, but you’re a butter face.
wow you sounded super desperate to hurt my feelings. that’s sad. your grammar is atrocious “more so than lately”??? how can something be more so than something that has already happened you sound like a fucking idiot and i get a ton of attention no matter my hair colour but if it’s fake pretty to you it’s still pretty all the same and too bad there is more to life than being beautiful. luckily i am blessed in so many other ways to be jealous of i bet you command zero attention in a room. your fault darling.
+
Good Afternoon,
My name is ****** and I’m part of the Promotions Team here at http://www.********.com . We have been seeking out high quality websites and blogs, gauging interest in doing a giveaway with one of our sites.
We love the look and feel of your blog and think that your US and Canadian readers might be interested in a giveaway with our sites http://www.********.com, http://www.******.com, http://www.*********.com or http://www.*******.com.
Have a look at a couple of our sites and let me know if you think that this might be something you’d be interested in. Perhaps we could give away a selection of our kitchen decor and gadgets or cooking and baking products . I’d be happy to brainstorm some other ideas with you if you’re interested. Alternatively you could do a review of something from our site.
Please let me know if you have any questions for me. I hope to hear from you to further discuss the details of the giveaway.
Kind Regards,
*******
Sure totally game. I don’t promote anything for free fyi.
Thanks raymi
Hi Raymi,
Thanks for getting back to me! I am so glad you are interested in doing a review or giveaway with us, here are the details.
For a giveaway all you would have to do is write up the post with a keyword (I will let you know what it is) and pick a winner! Then you just send me their info, and I will place the order to be shipped to them. It’s a great way to generate buzz about your site and gain new followers as well as increase traffic, especially when you ask other bloggers to post about it! no way thank you so much for helping me and caring about MY traffic you peon! i don’t need your shitty little traffic and i don’t want it, this has zero way of paying off for me only an idiot would bite at this offer.
If you would like to receive something, than you may do a review of one of our products instead. The product or products for $125 that I can offer you from our stores would be the compensation I can offer you at this time.read: we want it all and we expect it for free here is some useless shit you didn’t ask for as payment.Please note that this promotion would be available to you once every 30 days.please link all our websites again in a month so we can milk the hell out of this whilst compromising more of your integrity you get nothing out of this exchange you fucking idiot.All I would require is a teaser post about the upcoming review including a keyword link (I will forward it to you later if you choose to participate).oh ya will, will ya? gee thanks! no i will not on top of this slimy game show thing insert key words what does that even mean? ugh no deal.
Please feel free to look on our site, www.*******.com for an item within the $125 range (including shipping) to get a better understanding of some of the products that we offer.you are out of your fucking mindAdditionally we have over 200 different websites,of couuuuurse you dothat you can also pick an item out within that price range. Some of these are www.******.com , www.*******.com www.******.com www.*********.com and many more!no thank you!
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Thanks again for responding to me, I look forward to hearing from you soon!
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********
now after wasting more of my time after i implicitly said I DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING FOR FREE she tries to offer me pots and pans as payment and then tries to boss my ass around about all this stupid crap. nuh-uh. my reply: Sorry I don’t do anything for free.
her reply:
Would you be interested in a sidebar text link for $200 for 12 months or $125 for one post with our keyword that will be archived for $125 paid via paypal?
my reply:
200 for a month (alone) would be generous of me. (but 12 months at 200 dollars is bullshit). Sorry way way below my rate. aaaaand no reply.
i realize now upon reading this i’d accept 125 for that key insertion but she mentioned paypal which is a headache and will waste more of my time volleying emails back and forth. i bet if i said yes but you have to pay up front she’d balk and demand link goes up first to which i’d tell her to get fucked. this is how we do business over at raymicom. so much work for so little, not my thing. yeah if someone out there actually needed or wanted cookware i’d do that maybe five winners? it has to be worth it for all of us but these a-holes want to milk me and pay me in cookware short of that make me hound them for money. not professional or serious at all. if you want to seriously make use of your money with me you give me the product that actually makes sense for me that i might actually buy anyway and is believable, you give me more of that product so i can spread it around and then you pay me on top of that which encourages and inspires me to go to work.
hey pals remember when i used to go to cheese boutique all the time and photograph the minutiae, just because? ahh those weren’t the days…ha kidding. somewhat. my point is i don’t even know where to begin blowing them it feels like it’s all happened so fast. oh my god i’ll stop blathering and just get on with the show. i took melodie along with for the ride for her first time there. all this time i’ve been telling my immediate circle about my goings-on in the city which is like 60% food 40% gym and then if you made one of those hipster graphs a big circle splicing through gym and food would be dating. anyway with the food always CB gets tied-in as they supply many restos in the city their cheese or meat or whatever, get the connection yet? so to make this all make more sense in my friend’s minds i figure i should just physically show them CB.
ginger asked me after we ate at cafe du lac how cheese boutique was, uhh fine, except i didn’t go to cheese boutique i went to cafe du lac LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TALK! then i realized yeah it might be a little confusing i shouldn’t expect everyone to be as smart as i am all the time. i have horrible impatience, it’s a bipolar thing for sure you just want people to communicate telepathically with you and they can’t and you blow your top when they get it wrong.
i took’er easy friday nite, hit the gym, movie rental, crashed at gf’s place, went to the gym again in the morning then biked home to the tail-end of a house party which sort of (totally) pissed me off. one party guest of which was the same person who would not fucking leave the morning after melodie’s birthday party. i came in the livingroom in my gym attire, heard as i was climbing the stairs “…i drank so much beer I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW…no seriously where am i..?” oh great i thought, open the door they see me i see them i go, “oh i guess there was an after party.”
so i guess melodie won’t be joining me today ahhaha no problem there wasn’t any actual “business” afoot aside from it was time she saw the joint but sometimes if you hangover blow plans it can make you way more depressed so she powered through and i was impressed. the last thing i’d want to do is eat rich food following a bender which sort of doesn’t make sense as i was hungover every single day last week right up to eating foie gras duck etc etc ugh. i have learned my lesson don’t worry. i starve myself in-between these night’s out or i eat like a rabbit.
it was the beginning of a wonderful girl day-date. lucas slept off his hangover and we hit the town and i didn’t try to escape off once for a date or something stupid. i am having the most mellow normal weekend ever it is kind of incredible.
i look kind of famous and important here i like it hahaha. i also like fucking with the cb employees cos they don’t know who the hell i am or what is going on and i dig that and exploit it. everywhere i go it’s like performance art pretty much.
oh look it’s humble (not so) howard. he really liked melodie and i. i told him i had my own radio show once. he didn’t care. put me on the air guy the people have a right to my opinions in real time. he said he will at least link my blog off the radio’s site. good.
another guy i won over, chris woods, phenom chef. he’s personal chef to some big names right now and he said he’s going to help make me skinny again. good luck buddy! his wife is adorable and feisty we really liked her.
i starved myself prior to this told melodie not to eat when i said i was going to cb this saturday. she was like well i have to eat something like toast at least. that’s fine for you but i am not eating beforehand. this is why. normally there aren’t this many food samples going on at cb well i always used to go there sundays, i think they go sample crazy on saturdays in general (seriously in every nook there is an open package of everything you see you can totally eat your way through the building) but extra special is the tasting series of diff big names cooking up a feast on top of all the samples you can gorge on a saturday so for the next few weeks go to cb on a saturday. you’re welcome.
i am trying my hand at portion control it was hard but i didn’t finish this. apparently it’s an honour thing leaving food on the plate it’s a sign of respect in china to the chef you’d think it would be a diss to leave food unfinished. also asians only eat 80% of their portions they always leave 20% behind that’s what norman told me at central, he’s asian. he said it’s not genetics why they’re all so thin it’s the amount they consume. i guess it makes sense as they’re really smart with numbers. oh man i’m so glad my entire math class at st. joes was asian i sat beside the nicest smartest one of them who was like dazzled by how insane i was i’m pretty sure i would have failed that class if not for her.
delicious. i got sent home with a bag of this pasta it’s called fregola grossa and it is not gross. it looks like rocks i can’t even believe it’s pasta it looks so retarded.
chris thought i was crazy but then he met me and realized he’s way crazier. see people you don’t have to be afraid of me i’m actually really nice. if you deserve it.
this picture is cozy. i am cozy and so are my surroundings. actually the new word to describe me as is endearing. at cafetaste afterward melodie said everything i do is endearing. people say the nicest things after Rosé.
melodie looks amazing in anything she wears. that’s the heathers jacket my aunt gave me. i remember the last time i wore it. outfits tell stories. they trigger memories of night’s past. ghost outfits! oh my god we’re having a grammar fight now, past passed we can’t figure it out. cos it IS the past AND it passed. ughhh what do you think? lucas says passed. i agree but my initial instinct was past. moving on.
chris and his wife are having us over for dinner and also to have a raymi cooking show in their kitchen. pumped. you know what i want to do? i want to cook for elite chefs and have them insult me to my face or try to pick apart my meal. ooh i have an idea.
cheese vault tour. every time i go to cb i learn something new whether i like it or not. there’s over a million dollars worth of cheese in the vault. you can store cheese like wine there if you want and you can visit your cheese and congratulate yourself on being so disgustingly rich you don’t know what to do with it.
i always think of the movie gangs of new york when i go in there. so old school, old world, no packaging yeah that’s it. packaging is disgusting and offensive i like to keep it pilgrim whenever i can.
people have always been curious about my food obsession. my dad was the first to ever point it out. it was when i was mental and fresh back from LA we went grocery shopping and i guess all the items i was throwing into the cart tipped him off. he said i was food obsessed, i was a twig at the time, can’t remember the actual wording but it was the first moment of clarity i ever had on the subject. i thought hmm he has a point here but what it means i do not know.
i am reminded of fried green tomatoes the scene when she sticks her hand in the tree and grabs a piece of honeycomb for her friend. hey guys this is the blog about stuff that reminds me of other stuff how very unnecessarily informative you’re welcome.
awesome. because i am a spazz i have to have flavour on flavour everything and then i have to have more on top of that and combine the most ridiculous shit and then there must be a dip too just in case i’m not satisfied for all of us wow i’m glad i don’t hostess anymore so exhausting. actually i miss it. the point is you should try honey and blue cheese. bam.
not finished yet. i took the toothpick fork out of her hand and was like gimme this you don’t know what you’re doing here and started making up my own cheese/honey concoctions hahaha. melodie get out here try this right now.
she wouldn’t. sometimes when i am in a hyper and demanding cyclone people come up for air and realize they’re their own bosses but it’s funny to see how far you can push things sometimes. mostly i am not even aware of it it just feels natural to be in charge, be the leader.
can you spy my friend the pear i always photograph and say hi to whenever i visit. i’m drawn to it because it is so beautiful and magnificent. food is art that you eat.
melodie asked if i tried these i think i did at a wedding once years ago. show candies. i need to visit a factory and see how these are made. you spray them i guess? the eating experience of one of these must be strange, to look at a piece of silver and then consume it. do you like how i am blown away by the lamest things?
i know this isn’t a pumpkin but the colours oh man made me a little emo there for a second. if i see anybody carrying a pumpkin around with them i am going to kick it out of their hands TOO SOON ASSHOLE. i wonder if cb was just testing out their fall icing colour dye blend.
