i told my dad it was going to be like the cavern club for him. heh. they practiced a surprise for me, first jam was birthday and they changed the words to it’s raymi’s anniversary! for they say it’s your birthday. i gave’r. dancing in that dress was kind of fun and i dunno, total spectacle. everything is amplified.
behind the scenes with palais royale. that’s lox, crem fresh on potato pancakes. i served a tray to the room. the other stuff over there i forget but you got a little ladel to scoop it in your mouth. very delicious.
michael nus wrote the most flattering post ever about how fancy i made wrong bar. “I was actually taken aback by how classy Raymi made the reception.” i love that “i was actually taken aback” good. shock and awe people.
tarek looked SO GOOD with his murse. any man carrying a satchel is HOT. i do love me my fisherman lumberjack manly men types (so do) but i will always have a huge spot for those metro elitist stylish guys. you need to be able to be both like how a lady can be a lady and tramp, sporty, feminine and so on.
assistant two, emily. very big help. i hope you guys enjoyed yourselves at least a little. mandie was assistant one. writing you a glowing recommendation for future whatever. haha robert downstairs at cindy’s bday gathering was laughing at me for having an assistant. they’re all older than me kinda revolutionary fight the power/system types and all get a kick out of someone like me with my internet and my photos and my BLOGGING anti-traditional bullcrap so after like a solid half hour of snarkily inquiring into what it is that i actually do i say i gotta go i gotta call my assistant and tell her something and robert just howls with laughter as i am trying to collect my silly putty brains and get out of the place to my awaiting cab. yes i realize how ridiculous it sounds to hear “my assistant” coming out of the mouth of a platinum barbie outfit (pink turtleneck nipple city) mental case you just met but so what, that’s reality.
shannon helping me into dress two. i disappeared and changed without telling anyone. she also brought me outfit 3. she is amazing. she made my hair. taking it all out was really funny and fun kinda lucas and crystal did it while i sat on the couch in my room while everyone was crammed into my bedroom about 3 in the morning?
blue hair won a boat trip. my uncle let me raffle off one more for the torontoist kids they kept screaming FISHING TRIP! FISHING TRIP! meanwhile everyone in my family kept winning shit. i was up on stage forever going through tickets. eventually it was like ok you win a pile of my shit, go get it.
two suave brown guys at howling hour. kodak moment. both watering hole proprietors. russ made not my dog. do you know why it’s called not my dog? has something to do with peter sellers, pink panther. you figure it out lazy.
my hair was so big i didn’t even know they added a yellow flower to it. bob’s wife (in my dad’s band)(he and my dad have been buddies for FORTY YEARS) erin gave him a box of feathers and a tiara and a pink sash. i stuck some feathers in my hair for a bit. mom wore the tiara heheh. i referred to her/myself as the lohans when i told her to get away from me/the stage at one point.
steph, massive help and crucial support system i love you and you were so funny all night long getting hosed and making comments about every situation running peanut gallery commentary bahahaha.
very end of the night before we left. sent all my crap with the assistants to adventurehouse and we hit salvador darling before last call. we were a traveling hilarious circus.
this guy just kept going we weren’t even paying attention anymore and steph interrupts our drunk yell competition to say excuse me can you please look at that? he was whipping his own ass with our flowers and bucking.
and i was adamant about everyone knowing i had this exact same horse as a kid, it was my mom or dad’s before that? it was orange. we drew all over it with crayons and now it’s in my nana and papa’s basement the springs have been put through so much torture you pretty much touch ground on it.
can you picture me at an equestrian resort in riding outfits? lucas said that the look that’s in right now for men is fishermen, a departure from lumberjacks, and for women it’s riding clothes. rob was wearing a fisherman sweater last nite which is why he brought it up. then he asked me how i felt about that. i agree is how i feel. i’ll go into it more another day though does anybody actually care what i think about fashion? yes? ok good, raincheck then.
this made me nervous she went so far forward so many times. do not interfere with nature. that’s the national geographic photographer’s code, a quote that kinda got misquoted in eye but it’s ok the point is if a gazelle is about to be taken down by the lion you have to let it happen on its own even if you want to help it, that’s how it works in nature so for the same token if someone is trainwrecking, just watch. a bit shit heady yeah?
casie i cannot wait to see your shots. you were a huge ass help to me, i love you more and more every time we hang and collaborate. thank you for trying to public relations my mom away from the stage hah.
took this so i could see what it looked like (so dark in there) so i could then make fun of myself on my blog about it. it’s not even that funny. like, at all. great!
thank you very much one and all. it was a great time. i’m sure more and more stuff will trickle in, photos, stories, who knows. i am still recovering. did i say that already? my next project to be hyper-focused obsessed with is my book. very excited for dinner tonite at corey‘s. i’m bringing rob. jen will also be there. must grab a nice bottle of wine and prepare my outfit, charge camera and also shower at rob’s as we have no hot water in adventurehouse.
thanks to shkank for the fab fun dresses. thanks to everyone for coming out and celebrating with me it was a blast, think we pulled it off eh? love you all. i’ll post all my pics and casie’s later. xoxo
actually had three costume changes. my dress exploded on stage janet jackson superbowl style and i kept singing. kinda hilarious. ok more later my house is trashed. adventurehouse is now called detoxhouse according to lucas hahah.
Films. No, cinema. Which word is more obnoxious? Celebrities for sure, their beauty and talent, poise. I admire their perfectionism and tenacity, they also take a lot garbage in the media. I am inspired by nature, seasons, colours, food, art, music. A good bender, the perfect company with the right attitude. A night like that can keep you writing for weeks.
there it is in warmer lighting. cheese boutique has graciously given me their reusable bags to use for my VIP party bags. they’re really sturdy. i keep worrying about what i should eat later but then i remember CB is taking care of that AND palais royale. as awful as everyone likes to think i am i’m sorry but having two (amazing) food gurus cater your party is no small feat. in food world if you’re not liked, no strings get pulled in your favour. i can’t wait for you guys to be eating FOR me for once and taking photos of it. takin’ the night off guy. bring your cameras.
went through raymi’s tickle trunk last nite and selected so many things. three bags worth of clothes, that entire rack, plus more bags of knick knacks, nail polish, jewelery and i haven’t even tackled my shoes yet. i’m going to set it all up by the big mirror on the second tier of wrong bar so you can try all my crap on. donating half to sistering (learn all about it here).
cindy downstairs (happy birthday!) gave me this from a swag bag. i want stuff like this for my swag bags. i guess raymi army needs to multiply for that to happen. get to work guys.
this is me in a paralyzer stress moment. all my stress went away in the night. everything is taken care of short of a package arriving yesterday and i wasn’t here for it so who knows if it’ll get to the forwarding address in time, i feel it’s vital ish for my stupid bags that have been consuming my brains for a month.
i made six of these. dollarama chic. i’ll get the girls to fix and make them look better, maybe stick the beetlejuice glittered foliage up the middle so it’s more like a bouquet. will construct the rest on site so it’s easier to transport.
i went to dollarama with fake flowers feathers and beads on the mind. it would have been way too much work and i’d be covered in hot glue burns by night’s end so i came up with this? i can’t tell if they’re stupid or yuppie enough. you can take the glitter things out when christmas is over and leave it in a sitting room beside your books on wildflowers of new england photographs cos you’re a geek like that haha. (i’m raffling these off).
ugh dollarama nightmare. people do NOT know how to maneuver through this joint. the teenagers are especially irritating trying to be all adult in a store getting in my crafting way oh yeah girl in uggs this is your future SOAK IT INNNNNNN. (ps. i could have given away some pairs of uggs tonight but i wanted money on top of it as i have made fun of those boots for years, kind of a hypocrite if i went ahead with it right? my greed got in the way of your love of uggs. sorry).
pipe cleaners for bags also um, i needed them. girls and stationary, office supplies, pens, we have a mental illness for it i do not know why but i know several other chicks who are like yeah, and this drawer is devoted to my post it notes, duo-tangs, swirly pens, paper clips, and erasers. duh.
if it wasn’t for redd sponsoring my head there’s no way i could afford being platinum. i mean, i could afford it but i’d be poor and platinum. wait, i AM kinda poor so, i’ll use that another day. good band name. point is, redd is very girl-supporting it is always a treat to go there, very sanctuary.
all the girls will be out tonite too. shannon is teaching them how to do man cuts. why doesn’t someone become a billionaire already and invent hair mannequins you can reuse the scalp hairlines of? they’re so expensive and also such a waste and every single hair salon goes through them. sure i’m not the first to think about this idea. i guess you can’t just put in new hair as part of the idea is to work with the hair lines coming out of the head and if you inserted new hair…? there, that was my brain just giving up.
this is going on my head in an hour must remember to wear a button down shirt. i bought a stocking, they’re stuffing it and pinning it and then somehow making me look like marie antoinette i am so. excited.
i’m going to cut some flowers and other things to stick in this. my favourite updo from this movie is when it’s like a foot high, everyone claps and she goes, too much? meanwhile it’s about to cascade right off her head so ridiculous all these inserted feathers and birds and bows, dreamy.
i’m in blogto today and i am visibly tired. i always look tired but especially so from planning and stressing over an event i’d like to see how you would look.
ten years of blogging makes you look like this. i also made Torontoist. i sat on the best quote i think i’ve written lately for a couple weeks. it’s hard to contain yourself as a blogger when you write something for someone else, it’s like gossip, just itching to type it in caps lock on your heart blog for all the world to see instantly.
Instead of worrying about what others think about me, they’re the ones who should be worried about what I think of them.
people thinkin’ they’re so great all the time yet have nothing to show for it, nothing to back it up, all anonymous. what projects are you passionate about? what dreams have you that you’re accomplishing other than wasting your own time being sour grapes over what i have achieved?
my life isn’t any more interesting than anybody else’s i’m just blogging it. there are loads more annoying and obnoxious wastes of space out there you’ve never fucking met or ever heard of at least i’m the real article here, i know what is and isn’t annoying in the world, i comment on it so you don’t have to. i’m pretty sure we agree on lots.
my dad can’t believe that cutesy pictures of me and witty things i say warrants such hatred. i think the haters have gotten enough airplay and actually you know what, you’re in the minority fuckers. we coulda been good you know, i’m not a snob like some of your other idols who would no doubt shun the fuck out of you. i’m actually open and receptive to all walks, that’s the irony here.
overheard a table of winners bragging, discussing, and cross-comparing DUI stories while getting hosed at this pub.
ok dudes, see you later, thank you for celebrating this milestone with me and for inspiring, encouraging, supporting the raymi spectacle after all these years. i guess i have to make a speech tonite? casie can we stream it? also sjm is going to mic me and film everything, i dunno how i feel about that as he’ll get down all the little secrets and dumb things i whisper into your ear. also the mic will interfere with my dresses. ok no mic.
Dearest Lauren or your persona “Raymi”
Congratulations on your 10th year of your blog and it felt like it WAS just yesterday that Bob and I were drinking our favourite beverages with your Dad while he told us how you were starting a blog. “Blog?” We nodded as if we were very informative and knowledgeable about blogs, which of course was not true.
Look at you now!
But seriously, give yourself a huge thump on the back for being consistent (stubborn if you may say so), and for your awesome talent! Have a great night tonite my dear cause you earned every accolade you receive from your fans.
Sending a little box/pressie with Bob so plz make sure he gives it to you!
xo
Erin
+++
shedoesthecity will be putting up a Q&A in a little bit too. here’s one thing i said to get the ball rolling,
If you could have drinks with anyone, who would it be?
My grandpa if he were alive today, we would be drinking scotch, he would be actually and I’d be drinking Jameson and I would ask him to explain why the fuck he drank cheap scotch all the time, it tastes like shit! John Lennon (plus weed). Kurt Cobain, Gallagher brothers, (either or though I think their drunken accents would be impossible to make out what the hell they were saying) and one more why not um some kind of big mouth hot shot with opposing political views as my own in a Bay street bar where he is one part agog by me and one part totally fucking infuriated. I love me a good argue.
i’m like, this close to goin’ muff don’t care if that offends lesbos or not. i was in a relationship with a girl once. she was way more mental than me, ended in a big mess but anyway, i can be a good boyfriend.
walked by the place three times like a genius, thought i was going to mitzi’s other location (my marbles are scattered all over the road presently) um wrong-o i am not doing that place today haha. the men working outside were very pleased with my settling on this restaurant as well as selecting the window. i dragged both tables into a four-spot and nestled in.
remember when everybody first got digital cameras and all you saw were pictures of crap on restaurant tables ooooh so indie colour me IMPRESSED look we have a real artist on our hands now. heh. did my nails at the table it was like putting a layer of schmuck coating over grimey middle earth claws.
is there a baby boomer club out there and if so do they have their meetings here? they should. i’ll make sure to be in the vicinity that day and tweet every single thing i overhear so we can make fun of it together.
that left handed cup again. me and my americanos. had two double. no, three? i should NOT be drinking caffeine right now but just try and stop me. i think the day of my party i’m gonna curb it just to be safe.
speaking of muff (i know you lost it or knew where i was going with that when you read it up there fyi. you know who) this is muffy. she, is awesome. the first ten people to go to any boom location and drop the raymi D list bomb to her or tony (or mike)(or whoever) you will be punished with amaziiiing things. also no she’s not missing an arm she was hiding a tray.
she ordered a hardcore truck stop breakfast with WHITE toast. i tsk tsk’d that and she put me in my place. you go all the way with eating grease i guess. breakfast is the one meal of the day you do not compromise or make comments about other’s choices by lest you wanna get cut.
what is this a movember cross-promo or what? sneaker. i’m going to hold a huge raymitheminx.com sign behind whatever next thing you’re doing or like run passed a window a bunch with sparklers and shit. don’t think i won’t.
i look big and bootylicious here. i am actually an inch taller than beyonce and doesn’t she look like a big ass dragon on tv? just wait til i’m in heels and my crazy dresses (yes two) on thursday. i’m going to be all over your eyeballs.
no this! jerk chicken salad. not on the menu. muffy said a guy in the back had a bottle of jerk sauce (forget what country he’s from) i know i earned me some street cred with him on this. halfway through my face pricked sweats it was awesome. people get endorphin surges from spicy food cos the body thinks it’s in pain and wants to protect it.
forget what we were joking about but she said “just the tip” and we died laughing and got shivers and said ew gross. ew penis. hahaha um i think you need to be invited to my brain to get why i think this is funny right now.
if you responded by slamming my face in this i would just laugh and give you props. i am not as uptight and crazy insane bitchy as you think i am really laid back and easy going, anti-reactionary in situations where one might embarrass me. you can go through life and nothing funny can ever happen around you, boring. the worst moments is when you prank someone and they have this godawful reaction that makes everyone nervous and uncomfortable and like, wow, did he really lose his shit like that?
and pretending you are listening to everything (and there’s lots!) i have to say meanwhile you are picturing me dancing around in stupid underwear haha.
oh i remember what you said here hahahah. we only get mean when we talk about all the mean we get (apparently i am the only one of us who gets it) but really it is such a waste of time focusing on that stuff.
i laugh in the face of danger. i look like your parents on vacation in europe in their leather jackets they bought just to wear around the urban settings. where is a fountain when you need one?
money shot. i should have held up my body with my butt cheeks alone like that hot asian chick multiple seasons back on ANTM for the trapeze whatever shoot man they gave her so much grief over her wicked body. i don’t care anymore about how hourglass i get, i am going bombshell.
food would go ice cold if i were in charge of presentation i’d be all macgyver PASS ME THAT TOOTHPICK AND I NEED TO CORKSCREW THESE ONIONS then blam we all die cos i took so long.
boom pens for my swag bags have clocks. i brought a handful home last time for adventurehouse didn’t know if melucas noticed or not, i presented one to lucas and melodie said she already stole one hahah. um as if i know how to set the thing.
gift cards for my swag bags for YOU guys and pens (with clocks)(i am practically your sugar daddy here i bought you a watch with a pen attached to it you’re welcome). they know how i love the coke in glass experience so i got another 6-er, bigger bottles this time eh eh niiiiice.
then yoko showed up to pick my brain for blogto. she thought we were the same age. i am younger. i want to die. kidding. dayna and i met at beer fest, is that what it’s called? anyway, i love BOOM and so should you. i also love that they have extended hours so the next thing at mod club i am getting my pre-drink and eat on there. SMRT.
i selected two dresses for thursday. i walked in like a mental told them what was what and they said totally lets do this raymi. i was in gym clothes and mania and it worked heheh.
this one too. oh man i look tired but yeah, look! i’ve always wanted to wear something ridiculous like this. i’ve been staring shkank in the face ever since i joined my gym. this is in shkank’s window now i tweeted it and was thinking why don’t i go in there instead of buying a playboy bunny costume (which i am still tempted to do, might throw a party on my blog anniversary’s actual date nov 28) that might look cheap and too costumey. normally shkank only works with stylists but, when you are your own stylist like i am, f that you dress me and you dress me now.
they have so much to choose from so many styles. the blue one is worth $550 and the pink $600. i am borrowing them unless some baller wants to buy them for me and if you spill anything on me i will be giving you the bill.
before leaving dad’s this morning. we practiced some tunes last nite. he has material prepared to rip me on stage with oh god i hope you are grateful for the spectacle you’re going to be privy to.
ps. my grandpa was in the war. i invited him to speak to my class in grade 6 for remembrance day which made everyone laugh their asses off but my teacher asked me to ask so i did. instead he wrote a long account of his wisdoms regarding all that (he was in intelligence, i come from a long line of brainiacs) and i read that to the class i’m sure no one knew what the hell it was i was reading but my teacher had tears in her eyes by the end and then he died just over a month later on the same date as john lennon’s death. it was the last thing he wrote really. they read some of it at the funeral. the funeral dude said my name up there on the podium during and it resonated, it was one of those self aware moments you get, one of the first i ever had i think. people are giving me shit about having an event on remembrance day like the whole day should be respected and somber. i think my grandpa would be very proud of me. i know i was young when he died but i still remember him and have dreams about him sometimes. he taught me chess and took an interest in me because he knew i was smart. oh my god i better not say any of this shit on the mic i will be bawling. i am not allowed to embarrass my mom either i was going to drag her on stage to present her with something in front of all of you. she gets really shy in public for some reason you think she would be loving the attention but no, she is a lady. she said that it’s for me, the spotlight. i am just as shy as her. i really do have to fight it you see snapshots of me hamming it up but they’re snapshots. i am already flushing all over from the couch just thinking about people looking at me so much.
my nana had a bad bail yesterday. compartmentalizing stress and grief. ugh.
two more sleeps. email: mandie.j.armstrong at gmail dot com for media rsvp g list cheapskaaaates.
this is my crap that i have loved (and still love) dearly and now it can be yours. pre-dibs call or simply just gawk at the ish vicariously. if you like it enough i’ll tell the clothing rack girl to put it aside for you, speaking of, mer doesn’t want to do that so if there’s a responsible money-loving keener out there who wants a role on thursday get in touch and i’ll put you in touch with mandie (my assistant). i’m donating a huge portion to sistering.
you have to tell them eventually that it’s not going to happen. a succession of them, it’s not going to happen (so stop putting so much pressure on it every time we hang out) or that you haven’t decided yet either way, getting huffy about it prematurely certainly isn’t going to make it happen. adrenaline surge just before you have to make your this is staying in the friend department speech and why again do you even “have” to make it? why can’t it just be obvious and unspoken? and then you get put on the spot reasons why. do you want the truth or a lie? why does a woman have to tell a man it’s not going to happen why can’t there be normal relationships and why can’t guys just be normal? i see guys and girls walking around together and the guy’s face looks so pinched you can tell he’s about to snap and acting funky toward her is on the horizon. guys get obsessive.
something mean will be said to me at this juncture of course, that’s the nature of things. people are never delicate with your feelings when you are careful with theirs, the courtesy is not reciprocated.
to consume someone and have an intense healthy passionate relationship now, that is a beautiful thing. i saw an uptight squeezing his girlfriend so insecurely hard in the florence and the machine crowd he was like trying to be a tent around her. it wasn’t lovely. i do love being cuddled and to cuddle but i also need to be free. i am loyal i do not stray when you have me so it’s ok to be hot and cold toward me as long as that balance doesn’t waver too far to one side or the other for too long. you have to go through a lot of people to find the one again. the one you want to burrow with at night, in the couch, at a show, who won’t snap at you for opening your mouth to say something charming and clever.
don’t think i think i’m some hot shot who gets her way always i know some of these guys exactly what they’re after when dealing with me i am not an idiot i know where it’s going and where and when it will end i move on i carry on it’s being an adult no hard feelings i’m just saying it would be nice for some men to get what silences mean, when to push and when to back off and not get abusive and rude.
rob showed up didn’t know if could get him in or not so i didn’t pre-invite. no prob get his ass in there. told casie to hug him, it was really important, guy looks like a good hug. duh.
we danced halfway through the show apparently that is a big deal in toronto. having fun and dancing to live music. sorry but standing around uptightly like a sea of useless bobbing heads i don’t think that’s very fun or inspiring for the musicians. so if i’m gonna be dancing at every show i go to i guess i should prepare to be written about.
we hug attacked that girl in the bathroom not knowing she was doing all the girl voice bits (her voice is exactly like feist’s ahhh dreamy). her gf joined in on it too then every single girl in the bathroom it was funny and cackly and football huddly. your endorphins release when you bond with women in bathrooms that’s why women get so chatty and gabby in there, without you realizing it voodoo is being done on your woman chemistry and all of a sudden you’re in that i love people and things and stuff whimsical vortex just cos you played with a lady’s brooch.
casie‘s sister is a major hot one. really weird to meet someone for the first time and they’re in a cleopatra wig. she’s platinum too so when i see her again i’ll be meeting a whole new chick. casie can you link that video of jenie dancing to single ladies please?
oh dekel. told him i was going to pants him after taking all his little quips and bullshit, he said i couldn’t (pants were really belted up there or something) oh is that so, eh? YANK. i got ‘em down to his knees. love a challenge.
when you see me taking a picture of myself with the peace sign it means i am shy because i am being stared at and i know people go all smug when they see people taking self photos so i pump it a bit further like THIS IS ALL IN FUN SO PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. that’s my body language big time this nite out. i really don’t like leaving events or venues with a sour taste in my mouth. i know we’re a spectacle but guess what IT’S HALLOWEEN GET OVER YOURSELVES.
auctioning this dress off. as well as THEE black lace dress half the city’s women go to bed fantasizing about every night. i’ll photo everything i’m getting rid of.
here’s my florence video it is crappy and short. i don’t know how to wipe the flash card on camera so i can only do mini videos i am too spastic to take the three seconds required in figuring it out.
