come and get it
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5159339462/
you have to tell them eventually that it’s not going to happen. a succession of them, it’s not going to happen (so stop putting so much pressure on it every time we hang out) or that you haven’t decided yet either way, getting huffy about it prematurely certainly isn’t going to make it happen. adrenaline surge just before you have to make your this is staying in the friend department speech and why again do you even “have” to make it? why can’t it just be obvious and unspoken? and then you get put on the spot reasons why. do you want the truth or a lie? why does a woman have to tell a man it’s not going to happen why can’t there be normal relationships and why can’t guys just be normal? i see guys and girls walking around together and the guy’s face looks so pinched you can tell he’s about to snap and acting funky toward her is on the horizon. guys get obsessive.
something mean will be said to me at this juncture of course, that’s the nature of things. people are never delicate with your feelings when you are careful with theirs, the courtesy is not reciprocated.
you are not the one. that’s why.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5158731343/in/photostream/
to consume someone and have an intense healthy passionate relationship now, that is a beautiful thing. i saw an uptight squeezing his girlfriend so insecurely hard in the florence and the machine crowd he was like trying to be a tent around her. it wasn’t lovely. i do love being cuddled and to cuddle but i also need to be free. i am loyal i do not stray when you have me so it’s ok to be hot and cold toward me as long as that balance doesn’t waver too far to one side or the other for too long. you have to go through a lot of people to find the one again. the one you want to burrow with at night, in the couch, at a show, who won’t snap at you for opening your mouth to say something charming and clever.
don’t think i think i’m some hot shot who gets her way always i know some of these guys exactly what they’re after when dealing with me i am not an idiot i know where it’s going and where and when it will end i move on i carry on it’s being an adult no hard feelings i’m just saying it would be nice for some men to get what silences mean, when to push and when to back off and not get abusive and rude.
Couldn’t agree more. You just know when it’s not gonna happen. The worst is when they fight that, and list all the reasons they’ll be great for you & prove how wonderful they’ll treat you. Sorry, it’s not a debatable subject.
men. not all, but many. 2010 and they still think they are entitled to the world and everything in it. newsflash…
I guess it happens to a lot of people in general. They are so caught up with the idea of finding someone they try to force it. Well, and of course with a lot of guys they just want to get laid and get pissed off when that is thwarted. Pains in the asses.
Men get angry when women point this out, but they have never experienced being harassed incessantly by some guy who thinks he can wear you down and into doing what he wants. Add to that being commented at every time you go anywhere (and it happens to most of us right? Men can be surprisingly unpicky) and it sort of makes you want to give up on them.
so yeah guys, maybe if you ever find yourself thinking “what’s wrong with me?” well, this is what’s wrong.
Nicely said.
its like a slot machine that you only get to pull once. first impressions are pretty key to a new girl. once she pulls the trigger and triple 7’s don’t show up its done! doesn’t matter how many more times you pull that handle.
I am new here to Raymi’s blog can someone tell me how old she is?
lol unless that’s an inappropriate question…
im 27
I think you should just move to Istanbul or Brisbane or Cleveland or Montreal. Or Argentina. Or London. Oh fuck, can you imagine if you just said fuck it, I’m a do this in LONDON. PARIS. GENEVA. You should totally be doing something like this for mtv.ca. wtf
It would seem to be only married/fatheresque and/or (emotionally) older men who might provide you with what you seem to be saying you require and/or wish for in congress with men. perhaps this is a side of you that other unseenmainlyonthisblogatthispoint men cover. One would love to hear the uh…the beast guy…chime in at some point with a little grown-up commentary. really throw down and put your money where your mouth was in this comments section. the only kind of guy who would do that is like a hard fishing, all my time in the woods, don’t give a fuck kind of guy. i thought fucking canada was fucking full of those fuckin hard Labatt hittin guys. wtf. do only pansies read this shit?
evidently yes.
say hello world to the protagonist of a forthcoming major fucking TV show about beneath her contempt certain people in Toronto are and forever shall be. cut to a lightbulb going on over some self-styled web marketing genius’s head as he realizes that raymi’s pure snark and vitriol is underutilized in The Marketing Campaign. about what an off the hook reality television scene this is happening here, only waiting to be filmed on zero budget. cut to many many lightbulbs going on over many many heads. the kids all say Much Love but they don’t know
It all comes down to chemistry
and chemistry isn’t just about a look
Its also between the ears.
Male or Female, a person may have the best personality,looks,success,intelligence,character etc.
but if you are not feeling the chemistry spark
Its not going to happen.
I honestly think I might be in love you. Not in a traditional way but in a holy fuck – why is it considered weird for a girl to ask another girl to hang out after only having read her blog for 2 weeks? kind of way. happy anniversary.
That’s a fine bit of commentary, Beaumains.
Not only that but a real nice comment on yourself as well.
that was cute.
Problem is mixing those two types Beaumains. I am a blue collar business owner. busted my fuckin ass to get where I am, own acreage on a lake in northern Ontario(no heat no hydro no running water). I love every part of that. I am probably your typical hard working, beer drinking, ice fishing kind of Canadian guy. No not just fucking pansies read this. I read it because I feel I can relate a bit to Raymi’s trials and tribulations. regardless of our different markets you are trying to make it in a world where no one thinks you can and regardless of your age or accomplishments the boomer generation still treats you like your a fucking teenager. I find Raymi’s “I don’t give a fuck” attitude very refreshing. its fun. and she is sexy. aaanyway…..mixing those two types of people together is difficult. a woman wants all the pros but non of the cons. I have been thru lots and that’s what makes me emotionally mature. I don’t have time for bullshit, I’m a bit of a gentleman and I have no use or interest in wasting anyone’s time including my own. Problem is the cons, with emotional maturity (as you described it) comes baggage (age, prev. marriage, kids, different responsibilities. While Raymi may be able to throw on long johns and go ice fishing with me could I throw on some GQ outfit and talk fashion over drinks I cant pronounce. two different people from to opposite ends of the spectrum. lol cant believe I just typed all that. no need to critique my poor writing ability
Raymi, I didn’t mean to minimize what you do to “talking fashion over drinks I can’t pronounce”. I just meant living in the “Toronto scene”. its intimidating to someone not in that on a regular basis. I had planned to go to your party just to experience it, but sadly I have early commitments Friday morning and I have a feeling the party may still be going!
all the best and I look forward to reading about it
no hard feelings thanks woody. there is no problem mixing up those two types at all actually.
oh raymi, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Someone was crushed the other day when I had to tell them the same- it wasn’t going to happen, why can’t we just continue hanging out and being awesome without that weird tension. Like, deal with it. I’m not talking with this guy now, even though he and I used to hang out all the time. It’s really too bad.
<3
Ok so I’m not asking (honestly) but hypothetically would you date a guy who had been married and was 10 years older than you. someone who supported what you do and the way you do it but wasn’t necessarily up for being involved in the scene regularly? What if he had kids? you think you could mix those two people together?
and two the other women here, it works both ways. I have only been single for about 6 months and girls are just as whacked as guys. its a sign of either desperation or lack of communication. Maybe you think your giving body language that a woman might understand but men aren’t that smart. we need clear communication!
really liked this post. ya hit dating on the head.
all walks of life are mixable but a retard is a retard and i think raymi has the paradox of being young beautiful, sexy fun liberal along with being wise beyond her years, generally having above average intelligence and interests with the energy to go all the way daily in her work/activities combined with a huge sensitive heart that it seems that guys in their twenties love the first half and are dumbed by the second half because all of these values in one person are not common. and the older/emotionally matured are awe-inspired by the second half but demonstrate control/imageconscious/sackless or just can’t handle baggage on the first half. it is her gifts in this uncommon package that will take a likely uncommon dude to pull the right string, so to speak, to get the package and inspire with his own….package. sorry, u know what i meant.
can you write the foreward for my book hahaha awesome.
If I was a blogger (or at least a better writer), I would propose Raymi and I date. Two opposite ends of the spectrum. 1 month maybe two depending on schedules. During the dating process keep track of your feelings (likes/ dislikes), stories, awkward moments. but don’t tell any one or post anything. Then at the end… at the same time both of us post everything. that way neither is biased by something the other was thinking or doing. am I making sense? it would be a cool dating experience and I am sure everyone would get a kick out of the results.
Woody, if anyone ever makes a movie of this comment thread, I get to play you.