i stole a pair of blue rockstar sunglasses today. i was trying them on and in one fluid motion i dropped them in my bag and walked over to my frendz,

“Uhh guys, a barcode wouldn’t set the alarm off would it?”

“no. it wouldn’t.”

“Ok then.”

and off i go. That’s Rad!

ever notice that when people get new cars, no matter what type of vehicle –
they instantly buy a new pair of sunglasses to sport whilst driving like they’re all bad
zooming around in their new SUV or whutever dullard car
they think defines them as a person
and adds meaning to their pitiful life?

one time my fillipino frend reNA ate one of her dawgs fluorescent green Dog biscuits cuz we told her to do it and she pretended it tasted good so we all wanted to do it. i sniffed the treat and was like, “ew gross.” but my other frend took a bite and got real mad Quick at Rena and sed, “you ffukin’ bitch liar. u sed these tasted good.”

i wonder why sum dog biscuits are dyed fluorescent green and yellow and orange? i remember they came in a big brite yellow box.

we use to steal rena’s dad’s menthol cigarettes.

i am so bored and aLL the sites i normally go to will not load becuz of some gay blocking of sites with swearing and nastiness on ‘em at skool. aRRrrr. ward told me about the time last nite he had this lil pink battery powered train that took C batteries and he was carrying it down the stairs, tripped – the train flies in the air and smashes against wall, sending fragments of pink-plastickyNess everywhere and he remembers seeing the C batteries slowly roll by him as he is lying on the floor injured and in pain. his mum walks in immediatelyand chucks out all pieces of train and pockets the batteries for herself.

i go for a koffee now

today in my business class i had to sit thru the most b o r i n g of presentations. my mind wandered all over the place i kood not in any way, pay attention….ethical this…whistleblower that…and on and on and on. I knew a few of the people in the group so my friend and i pulled faces at them and held up signs saying you suck or your balls are showing which we felt to be quite necessary considering. I know a little bit of sign language so i signed i like naked boys amongst random words and symbols. of course it was not understood what i was doing. meh. anything to get me by, i say. Then this pathetic girl behind me starts crying cuz she forgot her coat in her math class and i am like, “Shh, calm down. get it later. hey, is it ugly?” she’s all, “what so you mean?” “Well, would sumwun wanna steal it or is it beyond ugly and thus unstealable?” “IT’S FROM THE GAP!” then she storms outta the rume. hmmmmph.

we gave the group 60% which i thought was very generous.

i think this is the worst post i have ever placed in my blog.

i’m going to eat now and then off to hardware heLL.

Oh yes it is fun to be pasty pale and then wear black to look more pale and stick a finger in yer mouth in a hoteL RooM and then pile a bunch of baLLooNs in the background for no apparent reAson.

so Be it.

man – this morning i was hunGover before i even got outta Bed. i sorta shuffLed around my niteStand for a bottle of water and guzzled it down like a desperate cameL, sadbastard style, it was. uhhghhhmmmm….”please pass the advil. just put it in my mouth. thankYou.”

i always feel scuzzed-out the next morning after lotsa weed the previous day
cuz i lay in bed for as long as possible
and i won’t get out
until i am absolutely done thinking about all the things i planned to think about thinking

bah.
and so laying there
entails touching at my face and sleeping on my head and wiping my face in my greasy pillowysweat
haha

so cute

and i toss and turn like a nutcase
and i talk in my sleep
and kick randomly
and decide i MUSt listen to this song or that song or whutever.

Tourette Syndrome Barbie click that. you won’t be sorry. do it now. thank you.

i’ve fukkin’ had it with Hardware. i’m nothing but a bitch. “Cut this key” bitch. “Go get some Ice Melt” bitch. “Your hair is too weird for our store” bitch. “Go help that old guy with plumbing” bitch. “Go get me a coffee cuz you’re an hour late” bitch.

Today i was treated like a slave. move this. move that. go over there. come back. go over there. don’t ask too many questions…just do it.

I am NOT YOUR FFUKIN’ ROBOT!

hmmmph. the customer is not always rite, yuh’know. the customer, in fact, is irrational, demanding and a ffukin’ twat when it comes to hardware. i swear. one time this guy wanted me to cut him 30 copies of the same key. so i do it, rite.

Buddy comes back ten minutes later cuz none of the keys work and he is going AWOL on me. ffuker, i’ve been working here for two years, i am not retarded. then he’s all, “Well, this key you copied from doesn’t really work but i thought since you run it thru machine it fix itself. yah?”

jesus. ok. deep breath. “Look buddy, you just made me make 30 friggin’ copies of a key that DOESN’t work! You wonder WHY these keys don’t work!?!?”

I only sorta lost it on him. i went out for a walk around the block and had a smoke.

“Customer is always rite?” My ffukin’ ass!