How clever am I with that title? Shh. Don’t even try to disagree. Full on cerebral attack. When your language turns in to gabblity gook and peeps start understanding it, what does that say about them then? So I will just own my freak flag if people call me one anyway right? Anyway it’s a play on blogstalking deriving from Pippi Longstocking.

I am the most interesting person you will ever meet. I heard that said about me, from one normie to another, yes I met Raymi and she was, pause pause pause, really interesting. Then the other leapt to my defense and said BUT she has a huge following AND BUT (a cause for a double but now! How unique is this creature exactly?) THEY LISTEN TO HER.

I fluff up my feathers.

What day is this, September still? Everything changes in the fall. Not just the weather. Our clothing, temperaments. Happiness maybe turns to glum from acceptance of the fate of the upcoming months of coldness ahead. Canadians are patient people, I like them. Yes, I like us. We get the teeniest slice of tropical climate and then it goes away and we wait for it again. It is poetic in that it involves suffering. Yes, I suffer from the weather maybe because I allow myself to. I just know that sun is where it’s at and then it’s like middle earth grey sky covered in ash, bleak and cold icing on top, for the majority of the years of my life. Yes I want to live in LA. I hear hipsters and artists eventually become miserable there too, but how will I ever know if I never go? I’ve lived all kinds of places and I’ve sacrificed one lifestyle for another in pursuit of “my dream”.

I digress. No, ramble. Using both makes me look smart.

Speaking of that. I was thinking maybe I should write more and spend less time hiccuping burps and 140 character thoughts at a time on twitter, get better at my writer’s craft. Every time there are Raymi mob lynchings they all say the same thing, my writing. JUST WRITE DICKHEAD. OKAY FINE.

Put it all in one place. I will see how long I can go in one browser only. I bet a lot of you can relate. e-late. Yes you get it.

I was called a con-artist in the last great Raymi bashing war of 2012. No, it was a direct vomment hit. But anyway I never forgot it and I think of it as a treasure because 1. It made me look at myself and 2. what is the internet if not but one giant opportunity to convince everyone that you are wittier, smarter and cooler than everybody else and we are ALL in a race for it people. Then if I am a con-artist that means I am smart, right? Con-artists are smart. Yes? What is my con? Being a fucking idiot? Swish! Getting people to hate me? Done. But, I take that as another giant victory because at least I got people to look at me, anything-me, something-me. Getting on to radars alone is important. I am evidence of this.

I was going to tweet con-artism made easy. Or as fine art, call it a day (Ray) but then thought oh no, too cryptic, what does she mean? All my frenemies will be like FUCK YOU RAYMI. Dee sent me a post she wrote once about worrying about what other people think of you, read it. When people give you advice, take it.

Anyway, I am an advisor for She’s Connected again. I’ve been thinking about what that means exactly, am I talking again? Okay well here are my advisements anyway:

Be nice to people. Don’t talk shit about other women because you point a big fat red arrow over your bitchy unhappy fucking head. Be real. Don’t ring lead or bully. Give credit where it’s do. Passive aggression is pathetic so always always call it out when it’s happening. Don’t let people push you around. Be confident and learn how to wade through this cut-throat vicious idea-stealing, brand grass-cutting toxic arena. Swim away from the sharks and you be you.

It is part of my duty to make you think you can be me. Don’t be me, be better than me. What I mean is, you have to do everything to be everything to get everything, these days. Lots of talking, game playing. Playing the game, game play. Agency wooing. Reputation over-smoothing, schmoozing. Yes, it is a lot. But those are the rules. Break some of them. Break hearts. Take names. Come with adequate table stakes. You can change. You don’t have to do what everybody else does and you can do it by doing what they tell you not to do. Impress yourself first and don’t come in last.

Kay bye.

Time to flex my feminist misogynist muscles now. Wish me luck because I am writing crazy blog rants instead of finishing my draft.

Mom link my blawg on your youtube in case it goes viral/nowhere ahaha that was awesome I just laughed the entire way through from the audio alone. We were whispering cats only because my mom said that first like I was going to break in to sporadic MOM’S TURN now on camera or something, sha-right. So to mock her back I whispered cats only too. Everything else that is eccentric I cannot explain after that.

After all this playing they all passed out cos thay so tiny! I napped with them but it was hard not staring at them because I knew on the other side of my eyelid was a PILE OF KITTENS DOZING AWAY. They are $900 a piece. I am like get out of town about that, but seriously, $800-$900 depending on fug-cute ratio + colouration. They’re maine coons. They can turn in to alligator-size have fun. There are three adult ones + Dugan (The stud) that make these kittens once a year. He is a maniac. Slashed open my Nana’s hand once with his rooster talon claw. The imagery makes me wanna vom. Kay bye. Please buy one so Janet stops going bananers from the 13 cats in the house. Oh and by the way the ugly one is actually the cute one IMO.

I love War Horse. I mean, I hate war and I hate horses but put them together and you have something great! I think? I like plays and entertainment and stuff. (I love war films though by the way! I am a conundrum!)

Also, here is wind in my hair. Wind, people. Wind.

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Hi everybody. It’s funny how Attention Deficit Disorder can totally– I can barely finish that sentence!

I always look like carbage when we go on the vespa. It didn’t really make sense to do my hair before all that. Some guys like girl scruffs anyway. Scruff Life. Also I find that some of the hottest girls are disgustng slobs in real life most of the time. Like why gym rats always wear jogging pants. It’s so obnoxious and in your face. Here is this giant dickhead who eats sleeps dreams breaths gym, cloaked in basketball jogging pants that look like a giant tent. It makes me think of youth. And University. I have a University boner because I never went. I was jinxed at birth with giftedness and needn’t to learn no more. Maybe I will go back to school like Rodney Dangerfield. Just so I can do a back flip off a series of diving boards and impress a barely attractive smartly dress distinguished woman. Wow next thought please.

My hair looks like a number seven at you.

My messy hair looks the same as the birds. My right nostril is bigger than my left. GREAT WHAT’S NEXT. Trust me this blog post is going to be really amazing. Really really. I think I am having a love affair with hating blogging right now or I am just satiated that I have a couple new work gigs (Playboy + something else :)) so I can “just chill” but I think do I have to keep going with my blog or have I blogged enough? If people want new news daily, maybe they can just wait? I think bloggers who blog less than me grapple with the need for daily blog postings, of the why bother? sort.

Checkered shirt, checkered hat. Check.

Before or after Demi/Ashton split? The answer is integral to my wanting to watch this gotta ba bona fide mega hit flick. What could it even be about!??? Don’t tell me!

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I’d rather post this particular Q&A on my blog where I can control everything. Muahaha. I actually also would like to extend a kudos-inspired shout out to my haters right now because you’ve “been good” lately and I truly appreciate it. I don’t want to be fighting all the time or be pissed off, hurt, sensitive, defensive (your favourite) so thank you in advance for canning it and just watching the show. It’s not over yet. You know I’m a big believer in not fucking with nature, just let it roll and see how it pans out on its own. I’m a choose your own adventure type. Any teeny ripple in the matrix can lead one’s stream this way or that coursing over rocks in the riverbed called life so thank you for letting me crash my own “slowest moving trainwreck in Toronto”, much obliged. Love Ronald McBlogald.

“An Open Letter to Haters”

One of the things that came up in your interview is your thoughts on all the haters out there, who have nothing but criticism for your blog. What would you say to all the haters of your work, and all the haters out there in general? And what words of encouragement would you give to people who want to share their lives with others in a similar way to you?

I’ve always “been hated” but I am smart enough to know the true meanings behind it and it doesn’t really hurt me all that much at all. If you’re successful then you have haters. It just sucks for them that they’re not doing anything for themselves in this world than torment some chick who invented a niche for herself and inspires so many others to do the same, to lead fun lives and achieve goals. What a waste of time focusing all of that negative jealous energy. Lately they’ve been hush-hush as I’ve enforced a zero tolerance approach to haters – disarm, delete, ignore. They are nothing to me and are nothing but negative trash purposely trying to bring me down to their level and distract me from my game, so I delete and ban them, sometimes ban them from even accessing my blog period. They know this by now so they just shut up and enjoy the show because if they lip me off again, more banning. I am on the internet for my friends, my long time internet friends and fans and there is so much work to do everyday I really cannot afford to piss away my time fighting with assholes who have nothing better to do or this is the best they can do. I invite people to all of my events, come meet me, have a “discussion” to my face if you feel so fucking strongly because this is the free time I have alloted for bloggy time extracurriculars, but no they prefer darkness and shadows and that’s why I am famous and they aren’t.

How I felt in May. How I feel now, there are more things to say but for now, Bye from Ray.

Where were we now. Oh right. I ran up 6 flights of stairs to get Madonna tickets after biking like a madwoman across town to Amy’s to get my new crazy pants so I biked in a big triangle from Libville to The Juncsh to D/T back to Libville. As I was hoofing it up the stairs I saw stars as I shook my head and laughed at myself for my stup-cray-idity. Any opportunity to get the maximum workout bonus points, take. This is the view from half way up.

This is me almost fainting out of a window. Splat.

What’s up girl. All her hair is cut off now, looks great.

MMM vodka cucumbers. Not a smart lunch snack because they truly do absorb all that up.

I’ve had these uploaded awhile, I don’t remember if I blogged them yet. I don’t think I did.

I am going to continue on my non-cheese diet. Maybe. There can always be exceptions made, rules broken. I am a pig.

Don’t wear it out.

I think I’m getting sick. I delude myself that I’m not until I am full-blown sick. It’s in my throat. Great. Send juice.

Killigrew tees I be lovin’ ‘em.

Your face makes me LOL. J/k I couldn’t think of anything else.

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Pt. II of my TOT Q&A.

Part of blogging on a daily basis is that you need to create spectacles, go out and have adventures, and otherwise try to create interesting content from your everyday life. Most people aspire to be adventurous, be open to new experiences and to be confident enough to try new things. What is your advice on how to lead a “Minxy Lifestyle”? How would you encourage others to go out and lead their everyday lives in as interesting a way as possible?

It depends on what people want to get out of life, are they living this life on social media or is it truly for them? I would say live balls to the wall and just enjoy your life and if you have the inclination to capture and share it, then yes please do because people get off on that and want to live life through you sometimes if they so happen to be too busy to party, rockclimb, surf and so on. A minxy lifestyle (to me) is a detailed one maybe even a selfish one. If it’s not fun then it’s done. Changing it up is important too cos no matter how fun your scene is, it can get a little tired eventually. If I discover a new restaurant and say they have cheap drinks and free food on a certain day, I am bringing all of my friends there so they can get in on it too in a How to Live your Life My Way fashion. If I’m invited to a ballin’ event I am going to see how many +1’s I can get so that the experience will be as fun as possible. For the same token flipped over to the other side, if there’s an event taking over the city and I am not feeling it, I’ll leave town and do my own thing and enjoy that immensely. I do not dig over-saturation and sometimes glitzy affairs can be stifling and stressful. I’m in to pampering self days that turn in to weeks lol.

I wrote this in May.

I wrote this months and months ago in another life but by all things scribed from your hero with time, the seasoning is still pleasening. TOT featured me and asked me a few questions along with that piece of which they wrote their own very flattering RTM kudos profile (scroll below the video for a refresher). Here is one of the questions I fleshed out a retort on. I’ll share the others in a separate post to not overwhelm you all at once by. Less is more.

xo Raymbot.

Do I look like a genie in this hat?

As a dedicated blogger, you live in the public eye. What is it like to have your entire life on display? What does it feel like to feel compelled to update your readers on your private moments on a daily basis? You are your own paparazzi. What are the ups and downs of sharing your most intimate moments with everyone? We’d love to hear what you think about your day-to-day.

It feels great (most times) to live life on display, it’s instant gratification on attention I’ve demanded, commanded. It can get a bit speedy at times when I’m doing a lot of events and projects at once plus trying to cover it all on my blog and maintain a semblance of me-time. Of recent however, I’ve slowed down on my content output timing it with the change of season from winter to summer (kind of how it is in Toronto with no spring in-between) because a lot of people get busy now. They go out more and surf online less. I’m trying to make a healthy balance and I had a schedule I stuck to of doing one thing every other day as a means to not let content stack up and overwhelm me as it is at the moment but that’s life and it’s good to keep busy. I try to keep my private stuff private because bloggers seem to do more of that lately but also because trolls and haters and those with no lives feed off scraps of personal information like parasites you cannot be rid of. I created a monster with my lust for traction and infamy and I got what I wished for so now “every little thing” is juicy and with almost 12 years of footprints and tracks behind me, my readers can read between lines, assume ghosts that are not (or are) there about me and my comings and goings, demanding information like it’s a right. No matter what I do next THEY WILL ALWAYS KNOW. It feels. Hahhaa. It’s fun, I can toy with it, fuck with them, script my own life, detail my destiny and construct the final picture in this certain scope that is unique and entertaining, even to myself. I am in love with sharing I am in love with life first and foremost and that shows. It’s only the ego and that of others that ruin everything. The only downside to sharing your everything with everyone is if or when I get fat and old, but that’s it. It’s my vanity that will take the hit but I know I will always be beautiful in some capacity so I don’t care. I don’t tend to worry about the future because I like living in the now and I take things one day at a time. I don’t do more than I can handle, I don’t blog and spin my wheels like crazy and use every internet platform there is to get people to love me. I am patient and calm and I know that they will come, it will come. Not to sound like a wizard but I feel the times they are a changin’ (Bob Dylan) and I like it. I am about to dump my life on its head again and it feels good.