ps here are some dope school photos of my older brother you are welcome i think the last two were during his sweater phase though i’m *not sure.
*not sure is funny cos obviously i AM SURE cos he’s WEARING SWEATERS.
mayhaps i should write a disclaimer guide for my blog explaining the parts where you laugh.
ok here is an awesome story i think i might have blogged it years ago when it happened but i don’t know – if you find it you win a cheesy e-card sent from me. ok.
sandra and i went to lava lounge years ago i think this was before i had short hair and went to england which means i was probably 17? anyway back then i was way into faking english accents when i went out boozing and so sandra and i made our way to lava lounge and got in, that place was always pretty lax on carding, and we had a couple hours to drink as much as possible until ward would pick us up and drive us back to mississauga so we drank pina coladas and vodka tonics beers whiskey sours serious shit all while pretending to be british and we managed to find the ONLY british dudes in the place to chat us up and buy us jager shots FUN i love back-peddling my way out of potentially mega embarrassing situations whilst drizzunk!
anyway howling hour came so we toodle-oo’d our new friends who were none the wiser or really even gave a shit that two drunkards were faking accents at lava lounge so we’re driving home i’m in the front and i get the major spins and i ask ward to pull over on the highway i get out and climb the side of the highway hills to puke in privacy. it’s pitch dark and i am leaning over with my hands on my knees and i can’t puke i think ok cool false alarm so i go back to the car and get in and two minutes later make him pull over again cos the upping wants a chucking but this time around there isn’t a chance to go on a side of the highway adventure for a nice scary place to puke i have to do it right there in front of traffic with one hand steadying me against his car and i got a ton of puke on my shoes too.
anyway we get back to sandra’s and i crash there but not before puking a ton more in her bathroom first and her mom asked her the next day if i puked there and sandra played dumb.
the moral of the story is pina coladas = VOMITSAUROUS REX when also combined with the entire universe of booze in two hours the end.
fucking merkley texted me at 6.30am and woke me out of a nice deep sleep and i couldn’t get back to sleep til 9 and he won’t even apologize for it. i had to listen to fil’s various styles of loud breathing for over two hours my favorite!
i was trying to think of the cuntiest email to send merkley but then i started thinking about buying myself stuff instead.
the moral of the story is fuck you merkley.
noel‘s creations are viewable in magic pony‘s storefront window right now ya’lls!
the COULD THIS BE MORE LIKE SEINFELD line was pretty amazing i don’t know why you guys insist on taking my sense of humor for granted.
oh yeah i forgot to add that sandra’s mom has her own cleaning business and sandra use to clean with her after school, sandra and i go back to kindergarden, anyway, she is also italian so this means she will be in her head compiling a list of all the dusty surfaces and fingerprints and smudges of our condo so i have one hour to clean everything and make my hair not look greasy cos today is not bath day though it could’ve been but come on it’s ME here. oh yeah sandra is also going to be a for real opera singer. could this be more like seinfeld?
bye.
my statcounter told me that so far today, 910 people have looked at my blog so this means that i should have 910 comments right!?!?
i’m gonna start losing my muthafuckin mind on you guys and take away unused privileges like comments and then you will have my mom to reckon with!!
thee bitches love them some raymi
Hello Raymi!
I was house sitting for my supervisor and we found some art in her house that looked like faux Raymi art! It reminded me of your popsicles! So, I wanted to pass the pics onto you because you are obviously famous if someone is imitating your style!
Rock on!!!
Cheers,
Natalie & Kendra
me: i am listening to that song that white people get wasted to and dance like scottish retards
home for a rest
i dont know why
i think this is a new low for me
i have a zit-type thing on my nose, a blemish that’s not a zit and won’t be cos i already pressed on it a million times and any puss that was going to come out, if at all is now deep inside my brain. i wish i had a tiny band-aid to wear over it cos i think i would look really cute. i’m trying to see how much suck i can bring to this blog can you tell?
i am seeing my friend sandra later today whom i have not seen in years, well three summers ago just when fil and i were somewhat courting each other anyway, i went to mississauga for a raging rock and roll party (not kidding) that my friend scott notoriously throws and i got there before sandra but other highschool chums were there, sobia for one, and she was about to go pick up sandra from the go station and me being the genius that i am said LET ME GET IN THE TRUNK AND I WILL JUMP OUT AND SURPRISE SANDRA.
so i did and we drove through town with me in the trunk and when sobia got to the station she asked sandra to grab her something out of the trunk, popped it and i get out and go BLEEEARGH! and sandra’s eyes went all big, she stepped back with her hand to her heart and i was jumping all around like a scarecrow on meth (i was a little manic at this point in my life) and was all HI SANDRA HI SANDRA HI SANDRA.
i was wearing a fluorescent orange shirt too and sandra was like ALL I SAW WAS THIS BIG ORANGE FLASH JUMP OUT AT ME WTF!?
and a good time was had by all.
