hey it’s me and jim thanks sarah for upgrading your flickr i have been waiting 9 months for this.

MORE FROM KEITH

yeah. no more analysis. write a screenplay with that material.

“tales of boredom and insecurity”

it’s all just material dude. -keith

cant tell if you are being condescending -raymi

there was some condescension there.

i didn’t like the “it’s material dude” line, i interpreted it as you saying you were above the possibility of having acted like a pussy. and that you were seperated from the things you were writing like a porn star saying that the sex they are having is just a job… and that it doesn’t cut the bottom out of their soul.

it goes a little something like this:

nobody reads my blog… and i don’t like that, maybe even to the point of being bitter. i see the internet as a medium with a lot of potential… especially because it seems as though it would be really easy to have no pressure discussions about the dynamics of human behavior… so when you posted about people challenging the merits of your personality i wanted to dig into the issue a little bit deeper… and i was met with “that was long” and ” you have diarrhea of the mouth”… i don’t care about people thinking that i am a suck-bag… but i do care about entering into discussions… it seems like everyone wants to stay casual or some bullshit and the discussions never start… it just becomes an exercise in parrying snide remarks or trying to figure out a way to complement somebody and plant a seed that there might be more to talk about… in fact when people are inclined to respond it is because what i said made them get defensive… i just want passionate dialectics. no
body wants to do it. i have to start questioning whether my presentation is boring, uninteresting, off-putting…

i think i have a pretty good style… it is a shame that other people don’t seem to dig it as much as i think they should.

i don’t mean to be pushing your buttons on the insult level.

hope you enjoyed my mini life story.
stay hardcore. -keith

ok well your condescension stems from bitterness which has fuck all to do with me but yet you have this love/hate thing for me cos i get all this attention and you don’t
you’re way over-analyzing all of this
also
you dont know anything about being a porn star and what it feels like
i use to do online modelling, which was live webcam masturbation for dudes
they saw everything
and it WAS JUST A JOB and didn’t cut the bottom of my soul out at all

maybe people would be more interested if you cut the bullshit and got to the point and were concise about it, people don’t want to have discussions with pretentious gasbags ok -raymi

sprinkle brigade

love me tender music box
i hope this makes you cry.

my papa is 77 today well i don’t know the actual date of his birthday cos i am an asshole but i got him a music box that plays love me tender when you wind it and i felt like bjork in that vespertine performance i have on dvd where she winds the music box forever i would fully go see a concert of someone just winding a music box and then suck my thumb and lie down in the foetal position.

do you like me better cos i spell foetal with an ‘o’ ?

car wash ambience
will probably also make you cry, starring fil and esso.

we went to see jackass 2 last nite and it is FUNNY. i was laughing 99% of the time for two hours so my stomache feels nice and taught FOR ONCE. there was a dad behind us who had a funny laugh so that made everything just a bit more funny unfortunately he was a BAD DAD and had his kids there both no older than 13 and they KICKED THE BACK OF MY CHAIR THE WHOLE TIME even after we asked them to stop then they just moved over and kicked those chairs but not realising it vibrates the entire row. it took away from my movie experience but i didn’t want to lecture that dad cos his laugh was so awesome.

the moral of the story is, it is wrong to hit your kids but is it so wrong if i hit your kids?

the second moral of the story is which line sounds most like doctor seuss’ hop on pop?

some guy paid the pants 100 dollars to watch him jerk off and here is the funny comment i said about that (i’m funny remember don’t forget)

i have to talk to fil i think i am getting ripped off.
raymi | Homepage | 10.14.06 – 11:57 am | #

oh i also said who cares about school cos you have a hot body.

you guys would tell me right if i was being that guy at the party who is a creepy perv and follows you around everywhere basically one million per cent of my blog readers.

raymi, the blog arena is a fucking disaster. people think they are engaged in social interaction… but it is just bullshit. fuck this social paradigm. get out while you can.

and sure i could just accept the fact that it exists and deal with it like any cool/casual person would.
that is not what is happening here.

imposition is part of everything. -keith

i couldnt tell if yer comment was dissing me or not (in your comment on my blog) -raymi

nah, it wasn’t dissing you.

i happen to think that you must be an interesting person based on the evidence. but even if i was dissing you… who gives a shit?

in the name of being an affable chap i will explain in a less rant-like way what i was saying. (i am just going to assume that you care)

i don’t understand why people idolize other people… which is what many people seem to do with you… you are able to articulate the things they think in their fucked up little under-powered angst brains and they dig you for it… i believe that someone looking at you and thinking that you “get it” is just a complete misunderstanding of existence on their part… there is nothing to get… talented people are just recognizing elements of their situation and improvising interesting things… any number of people can be said to “get it” just because they are perceptive… there is nothing that a perceptive person is actually getting… they are just improvising using their wit. (i don’t claim to know anything about you in your actual life… this is all stemming from what i have observed in this fetid-shit realm of blog-world) so some people, as you were saying, want to be on the inside of the abrasive shell that you put up… and making a comment along those lines or expres
sing that interest makes them lame, unless you were some tortured guy that had been in jail and some hot gentle chick fell in love with you and dropped the “let me in line”… but that is not what is going on here… if people say shit like that it is lame. if they want to be on the inside then they should be clutch and honest enough to get on the inside and if they can’t do that then they should shut the fuck up and spend time with less interesting people that they can handle.

the only thing that could be construed as me making fun of you was saying that responding to insecure -pussy-people’s critiques of your way of being was a pussy move in itself. but moves like that are unavoidable… we are all insecure on certain levels…

and to highlight the complementary aspect… i meant to point out that you seem to have a natural edge on people and that the criticism that you recieve probably stems from them sensing that they are inferior.

and in a related area of thought

i fucking hate emails and i hate blogs because the disjointed dialectics that this medium breeds just don’t work in the way that i want my interactions to work… there are always problems with interpretation and tone and all sorts of bullshit that isn’t nearly as much of a problem in the face-to-face.

but now this, like the ambiguous comment, is getting up to the length of chore-reading.

-Keith

you ask a question and answer it in the same sentence

im manic and what i put on my blog is just an exercise and not me being pussy
it’s material dude
and i rarely do the emo interpretation posts like i use to so when i DO do em they stand out and seem juvenile i suppose
no one has ever said let me in to me
writing that on my blog was the first time i have ever said/written it
i think i was trying to puff myself up perhaps
but all those conversations did happen
and i dont have a wall up it’s just the way i have always been
insecurity and above itness and boredom
i also can be very shy and people forget that so they take me as being snobby and all that other shit bla bla i don’t take myself as being complex, pretty straight forward but if other people want to see me as a mystery that’s nice
makes for good movie material
bye -raymi

ALSO ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITE POSTS

thora birch as boner. probably one of my greater posts i don’t think i can top it well maybe if i wrote about ants with gigantic dicks or something i am drunk still can you tell?

oh yeah fil also had a HERO OF THE WORLD moment last nite.

we were leaving the dance cave (there only cos it’s attached to lee’s which is where the show was) roxanne was with us too btw and she touches this dude’s afro who is smooching with some girl in a booth and then i of course had to touch his hair too and fil got super drunk jealous and we fought about it all the way to the tap and then the dude who punched me after i kicked him after he called me a cunt was spare-changing the street and half-way through my getting out of trouble for squeezing some kid’s afro speech i said THAT’S THE GUY WHO PUNCHED ME BY THE WAY and then fil turned into hulk and followed the guy like stalked him leaving me and roxanne smoking outside of the tap and he gets as far as lee’s palace and we can’t make him out anymore cos of all the people on the sidewalk and drunk blindedness so we run after him and he’s outside that tattoo place giving this crackhead a lecture and the crackhead has zero recollection of it even happening he also looks a little bit afraid and i feel bad for him but still feel obligated to tell him what happened and bla bla he apologized and fil said it was because he knew that fil was about to kick his ass pfffft. fil pointed at me and said THAT’S A GIRL.

he even did the DON’T APOLOGIZE TO ME APOLOGIZE TO HER thing. ahah.

i almost said to the guy hey your hair got a little longer but stopped myself.

yay fil defender of the world.

ga blaaah fil couldn’t sleep anymore so he woke me up i know it’s one in the afternoon but hello last nite was friday which means i only went to bed 9 hours ago (4amish) ok i know that sounds uh lazy of me but anyway he woke me up by watching some show about ghosts and he doesn’t even believe in that shit. i fell asleep in the spins position and this asshole wakes me up to people’s re-enacted ghost experiences. the swear word for what i am feeling right now has not been invented yet.

the moral of the story is people who believe in ghosts are stupid.

it’s funny when someone is telling you about some time when they were in a haunted house or something and they go on and on and you have to listen like you give a shit/believe them. HEY DUDE AWESOME CAN YOU TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOUR DREAMS NEXT AND FOLLOW IT UP WITH PICTURES OF YOUR BABIES!?