gay faces listen up i canNOT believe how little of you have been voting for me or period it’s like you don’t want me to win and you don’t want to read this blog anymore?! i mean i know i’m not on crazy pills anymore so like what’s the deelio? i am shocked. there should be a trillion votes in all the categories i am in don’t forget that even if i come in close second this blog will be GONE, archives too. today, tomorrow, and friday are your last days of voting for me so DO IT.

love nana

ps this lady doesn’t want to lose to a blog with a tagline of LADIES THROW THEY PANTIES ON THE FLOOR “because I don’t want to lose to the blog with the tagline “ladies throw they panties on the floor”, even though I am not against throwing my own panties on the floor, but more out of weary exhaustion than any kind of sassy debauchery.” i said it’s a ghostface lyric and it is COOL, i change that thing up there a lot, she won’t publish my comments, but yet in email makes nice with me wtf why bother? anyway i said i will find a more offensive tagline just for her. however, her blog IS endearing and i think that she is a great writer, and you know me, i do not praise often let alone someone i am up against. i don’t think her blog is better or worse than mine, just a different genre.

ALSO look i am getting skinnier so yeah you can read the blog of a skinnier person it’s true someone told me last nite i am skinnier but it seems somewhat like you guys want me to get pregnant and have a blog about being a mom cos that’s who i am up against, do you want me to be a mom, is that what this is about?

no offense but i kind of hate kids, and no not your kids, your kids RULE. i mean i hate blogging about kids it’s like blogging about cats and noel told me that that’s lame so i try not to do it very much and as much as i hate agreeing with noel, he’s right. people go on the internet to ignore the fact that they are fucking losers so going through a bunch of blogs about babies and cats what the fuck?

anyway look at it as payment for reading my blog, there are no ads, there are no fees, all you have to do is go to a different site and click my name and press enter HOW OBESE ARE YOU GUYS!!!????

oh, and i love you thanks, and, believe me, i am just as tired of reminding you guys to vote as you are of reading my abusive threats.

WELCOME TO RAYMI’S HOMEWORK HELP CORNER! TODAY’S STUDENT IS erica.

ok i am going to be a complete smart ass

-Why did you start blogging?

cos i cannot shut myself up, cos i dominate all others when it comes to personal opinion and original thought.

-In 25 words tell me about yourself.

i have an inflated ego that’s not exactly unjustified, i’ll probably be shot one day for pissing off the wrong person if i haven’t already.

-What impact do you think has on your readers?

poor man’s celebrity, cult-like bullshit, intelligence, smut.

-Many people have trouble thinking of things to write on their blogs, how do you do it and keep people coming back?

wit and originality and i am good looking, i invite people and encourage them to obsess over the crap what is my life

-Who is your favourite blogger?

that cuteoverload.com meg lady

-How many hits do you get a day?

2000ish, sometimes less sometimes way more.

-You do alot of other things besides blogging, what inspires your paintings, t-shirts, stuffed things etc.

money, fame.

-Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, will you still be blogging?

yes but i will either be more or less bitter, depends upon what happens between now and then

-What do you think you will be blogging about then?

hopefully how much more money i have and what it’s like to pass out in a leopard print one piece on a yacht, doing drugs with celebrities.

-What’s next for you?

finishing my third book hopefully getting a non-indie publisher, to get my book in a bookstore

-What is your favourite thing about blogging?

how impulsive it is

-What is your favourite quote?

THE FASTEST ROUTE BETWEEN OBSCURITY AND FAME IS A STRAIGHT LINE OF COCAINE WITH THE RIGHT PERSON – plastic little

-What is in your CD player right now?

itunes shuffle, right now it’s playing peeping tom

-Why do you think your blog is so successful while other fail?

cos i glamorize the ugliness of the fellow man, myself obviously included

-Have you met a lot of your readers?

yes but not enough of them

-Which celebrity do you hate the most?

i want to say paris hilton but that’s too easy she’s like default hatred but i could still see myself hanging with her maybe one afternoon and then i point out everything about her that is bad. i don’t hate celebrities, i prefer to hate real life people, like, right-wing fag haters.

-What is your view on politics? religion?

oh hello jumped the gun. religion, no. politics, no. i’m an athiest and not in the annoying way a ninth grader is who cuts themself, just like, when you’re dead you’re dead there is nothing else after that and politics, i am a leftist.

-You are up for three awards in the 2006 Canadian Blog Awards, how do you feel about that?

greedy and obsessive, mostly.

-Do you think you are going to win?

yes

-Is there anything else you want to add?

is there something else i could be doing to be better at blogging?

it’s my life

at least i can carry a note

papa don’t raymi

stop crying

dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooods

i found a pair of skinny pants at winners yesterday for $24.99 this rules cos i don’t have to turn them skinny by myself they came that way.

look how big my eyeball is you can put a campsite on it

i couldn’t sleep very well last nite so naturally i get to thinking about how amazing my blog is and how i should write a top ten reasons list why i am better than other blogs and how essentially unnecessary that would be cos like, come on, duh.

but fil‘s breathing was too loud for me to come up with anything other than i draw pictures of celebrities and make their faces busted-looking and i am very mean and funny and have long hair etc this is not new information, anyway, fil’s breathing was like A-BWAHAHAH A-BWAAAAAAH and then his lips would stick together and make a popping sound everytime he exhaled so i had to build a pillow-wall barrier to bounce his breathing over to the window and it sort of worked until i got to thinking (no lie) ABOUT THE BOOGIEMAN!!!

after 2 in the morning when you think about short leprechaun monsters with oily drippy faces you canNOT stop until you fall asleep so i had to take down my pillow wall and lean it against my back so the boogieman/men couldn’t get at me (stop laughing i hope this happens to you tonite ok no i don’t it’s very scary) but then there was still the predicament of fil’s LOUD BREATHING 2006 OLYMPICS to deal with so i took the pillow and put it between us and was careful not to have any part of my body hanging over ther bed, toes, ass and what-not cos the rule is that no boogieman or men are allowed to fuck with you if your entire person is on the bed and this rule came to pass one summer long ago in the 80s when it was too hot to hide under a blanket, or sheet, for that matter.

so a half hour goes by and i’m confident the boogieman has fucked off but THEN i noticed a light similar to a flashlight beam up in the vent in the hall that you can see a quarter of when lying on your back in bed and then the entire fucking plot of sliver played over and over in my head and i made a note to be afraid of this vent FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE THANK YOU WILLIAM BALDWIN i can’t wait for my next anxiety attack in-where the focal point will be this ceiling vent and all the terrorists living inside of it YES.

i am giving stink-eye in this picture cos my mom is just !BLAAAARRAGH! it took infinity times to get her to stand where she finally was when she took this picture of me, she was looking down at the lcd screen and i’m like MOVE OVER THERE MOVE OVER THERE MOOOOVE OVER THERE and all these yuppies are walking by seeing me yell at this lady thinking how mean i am but like YOU try and get your moms to take a simple photograph of you standing on a little girl’s bike in yorkville see how long until YOU fucking explode.

and if this doesn’t totally inflate her head then i don’t know what will and i do not even want to know.

TODAY IT IS THE 6th year ANNIVERSARY OF MY BLOG CAN ANYONE ELSE RUNNING AGAINST ME SAY THAT?!

NO YOU CAN’T

i bet my dad is major stoked about sharing his birthday with my blog’s anniversary and tonite i am going to get them both wasted.

oh and who wait what, who is that up there in OXFORD, England on the last day of their JOURNALISM exchange program at the age of 17? that’s right, JOURNALISM. and yes, that amazing haircutted pile of laughs is indeed certainly me and NOT you.

eat it, suzanne.

ONLY 3 MORE DAYS OF VOTING FOR RAYMI LEFT.

best humour blog
best blog
best personal blog

thanks.

the geniuses take a ride

watch city tv news at 6 my mom and i will be on it talking about pamela anderson and kid rock and tomkat and i make a scientology joke. they might repeat it again at eleven. feel free to tape it somehow for me and email it or youtube so i can see it i am going to eat my mom is exhausting me i have a very small shopping window and then i turn into a monster.

this is my mom at our condo for the first time. we haven’t strangled each other yet though she is pretty annoyed that i am not ready to go out shopping and have made no attempt whatsoever to even get ready i am drinking espresso and puttering around wasting time i better get moving before nag central 2006 begins.

haha i am doing little things to annoy her “oh let me just put some getting ready music on.” she hasn’t eaten yet (me either) so she is extra ON EDGE.

bye.

mom: I AM NOT ON EDGE

raymi: well would you rather me say BITCHY!?

DOES ANYONE WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH MY MOM?

if i win best blog i will auction off my mother ya’lls, promise!