Category Archives: Uncategorized

total request life live

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vacay in the city is that okay

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it’s true, black forest cake IS an abomination to all things cake. there’s why.

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gotta go, lying in the sun, can’t really see the screen have to enjoy this day as it’s supposed to rain tomorrow and also have to magically clean the tower whilst enjoying said sun. watched the roommate last night, holy cuckoo bananas and exact same premise as SWF, to which i am also an expert as i’ve got TONS of single white females up in ma grill. ew i just took an ancient pillowcase off of an even ancienter pillow and i have never seen a more disgusting pillow. this is why i am spring clean beaver fever insane, guy has been living like a bachelor sans pretty princess and so there is a lot of work to do (family coming over tomorrow did i say that already?) on top of honeymoon slob stage that happens, double disaster. stella keeps territorial pissing (hey that’s a nirvana song) everywhere (even though i take her out daily and bag her shit) intermittently, is it an aging thing? i am not a dog person so, but don’t worry, there’s two retarded cats here also to fill that void. lady garbage has a song now, to the tune of lady madonna, with garbage at her feet. the other one, her eyes look in opposite directions and i love it.

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i must be a really old person like prehistoric times old (‘notha lives and shit) cos i am into legs on dudes, dude’s legs whom when in their underwear look all neanderthal manly hot. like so.

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ahh can’t stop blogging.

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drive to tmr.

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when the sun goes down this post will go up. my neck is already getting broiled. sunstroke!

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ahhhh he just put the umbrella up i can see now! no more glare.

can’t wait to burn this ratty string bikini

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i love my new office.

make all your emails to me awesome, you never know, i may just reply in vlog-form. haha i’m playing this right now and stella is looking around for me even though i’m sitting right here my voice is being broadcast directly INSIDE HER MIND.

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hahahaha flattering. don’t worry, new ‘kinis are coming my way. wonder if i should stay tan lineless this year? should i make my signature tan lines again for the movie? maybe i should ask them first and now that it’s back to raining we have at least one more day of alabaster on our hands.

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i cannot believe how long this phone has lasted me. it’s going to totally blow up soon. i am such a cheapskate procrastinator waiting on shannon and i’s schedule to align so i can take her unused blackberry off her. speak of the devil my phone rang and then said reset app and now it’s hourglassing its balls off on me now shit. i bet it was teacher calling. yes bring home more presents you don’t have to call to ask me about that.

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vive le shithead.

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i call for doing nothing tonight!

ok friday lets do this

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this sunset brought to you by mcdonalds.

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i told the teacher the story about the first day i wore these tube flops. what an event. it’s like floating 3D acid trip arrows were all hovering around my legs pointing down, NEW ITEM! LOOK! i practically ran home from the dovercourt starbucks with my bodum passed the parkdale regular fare also totally like what!!? about my fluorescent in their face feet. tubular.

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gahah what is that? it’s like a rainbow bright fitness warlock.

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no i think i’m steering more toward dog the bounty hunter territory now. i mean, i can run and we both have wavy blond hair and all kinds of weird shit dangling off us. flare. flair? meh. this joke is over.

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you are dating hello kitty. what is that like?

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scary, intense, awesome, like dating a pile of pink sugar what speaks. i think largely why i get away with showing my tits is because i don’t have any. i can’t tell you how many people mistake me for a guy on youtube. f-rs.

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this hoodie is now too big for me a little. it’s my elliot (ET) hood.

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teacher wants it back in rotation. teacher teacher teacher haha. i will consider it.

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watched charlie sheen’s winning recipes video (i love it)(yes OLD). half the gibberish that spills out of him man, hilarious. so raymi. good thing i don’t smoke.

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yep. gonna be a good summer.

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i sense mystery camera’s fullness but i just flipped on MY laptop and nothing happened. i’m using teacher’s new macbook pro. trying to get over mac learning curve. ARG. ACK!

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casie’s blog gave me the idea for roof grass. but fake, astroturf. good idea?

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check my calf muscle i’m not even flexing it that’s normal stance. GYMNASTY FANTASY.

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lesbo soccer bait.

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having some family over sunday means must clean everything. EH VEH RAY THEENG. i feel like a bike ride. i must prepare myself for my work out now. i am ready for them (it’s tyler’s first real work out). i am listening to someone precariously slide/shove a piece of junk mail under the door right meow cos i won’t answer it and stella keeps low growl/barking and i keep shushing her in my underwear. COOL MOMENT!

it’s been raining in toronto for weeks

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and this is how we dealt.

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in my raymi speak i was all, baby do the thing (connect photobooth to the tv) with the stuff (mirror image that shit webcam time) and show the lisas what fun is like.

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at first a bit hesitant as well as collective hangover brain damage but once it was set up they “got” “it” pretty quick.

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hahah yeah.

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my big head is on lisa’s body.

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lol you can’t find me.

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where’d that arm come from??

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no need to show off, keep it understated.

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floating hipster things!

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awwwwwwww! floaty cat.

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she was quickly not into this. cameo over.

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agh i’m hallucinating the cheshire cat as a brainiac.

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yikesicles.

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hey look we found a missing baldwin.

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coffee tawlk time. ack! (cathy comic) we ack a lot now. it’s a new thing we do. you wouldn’t understand. also this blog is so turning into a friends spin-off lol.

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that lisa (lisa’s bf james) is to lisa what i am to teacher. we’re the ernies. blaha.

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speaking of that shirt is quite bert. so bert.

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ORIGINAL CONTENT CONSTANTLY IT KILLS ME.

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i’ve been putting teacher through the lauren white celebrity diet of lovesickness and abuse and it’s working for him. he’s all model-y now. you’re welcome. invoice is in the mail.

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these are all in order so you can see concepts develop and ideas take form and the progression of intelligence and degeneration, respectively.

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why thanks i’d LOVE some!

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it’s so beauty and the beast to me, inanimate objects come to life. that’s why i like it so much. for now.

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alright it’s monster time.

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ok i’m getting stir crazy gonna breeze through these make up your own captions.

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honey my back hurts.

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they wouldn’t shut up about how ugly i am in this beetlejuice shrunken head picture. when they see the swan go ug duckling they make sure to point it out. assholes.

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i was trying to be as unsexy as possible in general to ward off room boners kay? kayballs? duhhballs! DUH! fucking duH!

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mission accomplished. teeth are still awesome.

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shitty rollercoaster rules!

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gahahahahhahaa

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givin’er at yellowstoner no bigz-a-lot. pourin’ out some waterfall there son.

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AHHHH! it’s a mummy ghost albino thing from the forest.

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help i fell down the waterfall. wheeee splash! so real!

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blaahah shitty idea. BEST IDEA. stupidea i come from the land of.

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be wary of those minxes. modern day medusas.

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this was tricky to balance.

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holding it for three seconds.

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gettin bored now what more booze run. friggin rain ya frigger!

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the heat is in the kitchen.

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spying.

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shitty effect.

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i support thee. i back you.

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hair band. rain hair day.

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candle took forevererererereer.

ok doggy time.