Hi welcome to RAYMILAND! A very special place. Make sure your shoes are tied!
I get so lazy in the winter, complete opposite of how I am in the summer. Bad girl.
Excessive a little bit. You can’t even make all of the HK gear out in the crystal box pile, oh my.
I never get tired of seeing my blog on the big screen.
Did not exceed expectations. Met them. Bland, but, ok?
Actually think the fam would dig it plus you get to just leave it in its cardboard house platter, would get lost in the kerfuffle this weekend though and then made fun of for life.
Good look. Would sweat out in a club though. Hi I am wearing 3 blankets.
My phone is turning into mystery camera once I start going backwards in time it’s like, when in the hell did that happen?
Anita’s attitude adjuster Teach ordered for me, the booziest drink ever. Totally unnecessary at the time. Bumped into Nathan down Oss on our way out and he was like woah guys wtf. We were a mess.
Painted on pants. swoon.
Got a ridic amount of shots.
No way I could outshine her. Didn’t go like this. Too cold.
This cabbie gave me a lift for free, such a sweetheart. I am big on acts of kindness like that (his debit machine wasn’t connecting) so I have his card and number and he’s going to get a nice little Raymi reward.
Ooh those heels.
Grow hair baby grow!
Grilled caesar from watusi. We were loaded after Lana, needed food bad. Won’t be going back for awhile cos we fought in the back I’m sure it wasn’t that embarrassing but still, ha. You know how it is.
When those spanish heels are on you know I’ve been practising burlesque. Can you guys handle a show Dec 18, a Sunday? the 11th is way too soon I think.
My old blonde bestie is now a mousy (looks great though) brunette. What’s the point now? Lol. I’ll tell you about our FTP failure later, basically it conflicted with Lana’s concert. Lana. Ha. First name basis now.
I had a dirty martini for dinner and samosas and that’s where the trouble began. Sarah had a gin one.
Sam Crenshaw face.
Does Marilyn Dennis sleep here at night like being locked in a department store (my dream fantasy as a kid). I would, her show is at the crack of fuck in the morning.
We killed time here, there is nowhere else to hang. It’s nice and tinted these windows, it was way sunnier than this photo appears but it was COLD so so cold. Bad cold. Bad line-up cold. We got our photo taken in line but it’s not so hot. I’ll post it anyway. I made them retake a few, and said I couldn’t right click to tweet it and they (rogers) were like just tweet from our account, I said no thanks I’d rather do from mine and the guy is like why, how many followers do you have? I said 3000. he moved on but then came back when the info sunk in and went WHAT!???? Yeah I’m a famous blogger and in fact we don’t even know why we are in this line right now haha. Gave him my card.
Cool? Cool. Have a great night and a wonderful weekend.
Oh dear. This is a relic of a suit, I was hired as the sexy santa girl for Andy Kim’s christmas special at mod club (with Esthero!) and it was awkward cos I was there with THE SANTA of Toronto but his fucking wife shows up, they didn’t hire or pay her so we all stood there together ugh so I just mingled and got wasted like a party elf jester, my mom, GOT OBLITERATED and bopped me on the head and face and talked like a yak through her Andy Kim (whom she sloppy kissed) poster at me while I was greeting everyone as they left MOM I”M WORKING FUCK OFF and her date would and could not drag her away. They haven’t called me back. I was talking to Jacob about this at Lana Del Rey, I think I was 24 22? My mom suggested I get a medium so that she could fit in to this. My nana has also worn it too. Oh god. So it’s a little bit too roomy for this exhibitionist. HO a ho ho.
Party time excellent! I want to listen to Eddie Murphy’s party all the time now. I WILL!
It came from a costume store in Mississauga. I added the apron from Nana’s house, cut and folded it.
This used to fit me like a glove. I got it from the AA warehouse sale a few years ago, then I got fat and now I am teenier than when I first bought it? SO togalicious. It coula been yours at my 10 year blogiversary party. I love my clothes all over again because I tried to get rid of all of them.
Like a glove and reversible for whichever shoulder you favour.
Dork.
I am not wearing this in public so you can get that out of your head right now.
Keep weights around always in sight and you will pick those bastards up a hell of a lot more frequently than you would otherwise, Raymi fitness tip.
The pot of stuff on the counter is my new hair product I use once a week in lieu of conditioner, just a glob the size of a nickel. It was expensive. It’ll make my hair stronger and help prevent breakage.
Shoes are scary to walk in but I can dance in them, odd right.
I keep thinking I’m going to visit Leslie and just fly with that painting instead. My slothenly ways with sending mail are one of many shames of mine.
We were fighting about cleaning the house and I said I’m a blogger seeee in speakeasy voice and then we made jokes in bed for an hour before going to sleep. I let Stella sleep in my arms I treat her like a cat I am a giant fag.
We joked to my niece when she still believed in Santa Claus that I worked for him, I blogged for him and worked part time at the North Pole. It was a good story, modern take on Christmas. I said it was a secret though, it was when we still had Cedar Grove and I wore my santa dress for our christmas eve family hang.
Could look at these instead of my stupid ass all day right?
TGIF!
Too far? GOOD! (it’s emo day).
I was in the middle of cramps and bad. I get pms three weeks in advance then I’m normal and wondering if I am pregnant cos no cramps or any symptoms leading up to the day. I had two advils and prob why I got so loaded. Wuhoo! I look like a desperate trophy wife maybe that’s because I am! No I’m bloated and in pain.
This was an off posing night so I was like lets just look at the shoes shall we kay?
I’m going to be on MTV’s next episode of a new Social Media show next week, my heart just skipped a beat and I felt a flutter as I typed that. I am hyper self conscious of everything I type now that I know I am “being watched” which doesn’t make sense as I am always being watched but, I just hope I can hack it.
It smells so nice.
This is my impression of a twenty year old. I WISH.
It’s like the tickle trunk is here again. Whatever, what do you think a Hello Kitty insane person’s place looks like? We’re in the middle of a cleaning house stalemate and both losing.
Ha ha the cat. This is the christmas groupie outfit I wore to Lana Del Ray. It looks freakishly sunny out, ah got tings ta do.
Ghostface Killah TONIGHT!
Kinda cute in a dumbass innocent nerd kind of way? Silver fox bait for sure.
Uploaded these on second thought. The more the merrier.
Mystery Camera is better than Iphone pics.
We are still recovering from this night.
We like our idols messy.
I’ll have to watch myself tonight though cos it’s family weekend again, My Uncle is coming down.
We are Milestoner lovers. I’m collecting their bellini trinkets they throw in your drink. We go after I get my hair did around the corner and last time I saw a girl with my same hair, a sort of acquaintance and there is no way she didn’t do that to her hair because of me cos I saw her after a hair appointment at Brennen several appointments ago and maybe that was the last rip-off straw. She was sitting in my favourite booth I sat in with Brock once and with my hair holding a big goblet of wine and grinning to her date acting so, me? Ik. I almost fainted. You are not allowed in my ironic low key resto with my hair!
My pink earrings matched my shirt and nails. Ok that’s all.
I have to master that necklace, it always flips backward. Darn.
Went through a serious photo time-warp today. Ok catching up on my stories now, ANTM and Survivor. And we’re eating that feta coiled thing, we saved it since two weeks ago. Caved tonight. Also had McDee’s. Oh for shame.
LOVE YOU! No I don’t. Well kind of sort of.
So many sirens in Parkdale tonight what’s crackin’?
We got blasted. Oh man what a tornado. I take life by the balls. What’s more fun being blasted or annihilated? I shall make a poll.
Now, here is a very decent gentlemanly email that just came in.
Hi Lauren ( typed with a french accent )!
I have to comment on the Jack-Off who stood you up the other night! I bet he didn’t even have tickets because if he did ANY reasonable person would have arranged to get them to you so they wouldn’t go unused. He knew well beforehand that he wasn’t going to make it and ANY decent person would have at least called to give a heads-up. Speaking as a former horny bastard I agree with you that he was probably trying to get some….On behalf of the decent guys out there I feel compelled to apologise to you for that sack of shit.
Finally, by all means tell me to mind my own business if my emails ever bother you. I’m not sure how many followers you have and maybe you get lots of comments from people about your postings but even though we haven’t even met yet I feel like I know you ( at least a bit ) and, so far, think you are a decent, likeable and definitely opinionated lady.
Regards, G
I spend a lot of time alone and lead a pretty monastic life to counter balance all the insane events i go to so your emails are fine and welcome :).
that being said yeah he was a dope and i had a feeling he’d bail but i called his bluff and his hand was weak.
if anything it was a subconscious decision to blank out any other thing going on that night so i could have more me time.
thank you though, that’s sweet. and Im going to blog it because some woman said the very opposite thing of what you said in my comments so it’ll work as perfect ammo. thanks G.
v Says:
December 1st, 2011 at 12:40 am edit
..i think that is a rotten thing to do to a boyfriend. fuck passive aggression, if you don’t want to be in a relationship, then move on i say. don’t go on a date with a guy you don’t want your boyfriend to meet who wants to screw you and plan on getting drunk and try to act like it’s ok.
sounds like some kind of subversive revenge.
they have a place for situations like this:
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/
i’m disappointed. i read your blog because i thought you were an independent chick that i could relate to. this makes you seem like someone who i’d have zero respect for in real life and yeah i have a chip on my shoulder about stuff like this but whatever.
good luck.
adios.
raymi Says:
December 1st, 2011 at 2:05 am edit
LOSER SPINSTER chill thanks. do you live in the sticks? do you understand independence and omitting personal details to my life because people like you get a little too invested? you’re taking something out on me, this situation with my “friend” that I am in the right about, good grief lady. I love my boyfriend and we love our life together. Get over your shit.
jo Says:
December 1st, 2011 at 3:13 am edit
I specifically came here to tell you I am loving this post. I also think the insecure commenter is hilarious because it just reiterates your whole point of chilling out and trusting people. anyway, respect.
raymi Says:
December 1st, 2011 at 3:30 am edit
it would never occur to me to interfere in someone else’s life, their choices, potential fallout. quite shitty of her actually, anti-feministy all around. tired of girl hate. thanks jo
You can have a boyfriend and have a life too, moron.
Muah.
See, much like our good friend G up here (and you will learn just how good after the holidays ;)) I have class and come from good breeding and manners, I would never screw someone over like that and if I had they’d be mad at me (and rightly so I agree!) for months, it’s true. I bailed on Doug Coupland with Courtney years ago and she was pissed at me for two years. Oooh chilly! Ever gotten a frosty hug from Courtney? Lol Now we are besties yay! So the moral of the story is, we are all grown-ups now and we don’t screw each other over, capice?
Oh my god I look like my mother, more of these comin’ right up! I crashed hard today, meh. Deserved it. Needed it. Teacher will be napping all night. I bet I will gain 5lbs in delivery tonight. I want to say Take away like Bridget Jones.
On Monday we got Monday night Drunk and it was aiight.
My roots get to this and then I get them done. If I washed my hair daily for two weeks I could get away with prolonging appointments (it would look the opposite of this photo), but I’m neurotic and I have this hook-up so, I go like clockwork. I was very nervous for yesterday’s appointment thanks to my &$%#&%#% brother. I was practically in tears, I have breakage in the back and one time a few appointments ago Brennen made a comment about maybe going darker. NO WAY. But then as we do a blow-out and the fresh roots and toning is seen plus a treatment, Brennen falls in love again and we’re good to go. He is a genius and smokin’ hot and seriously a sweetheart, I love the whole team there!! They all get their fingers in my infamous tresses and for three hours I regale them with Planet Raymi bullshit. WIN WIN.
Not bad here at all, that was just an insanely TMI close-up and I didn’t do anything special with my hair because I don’t want to touch it. No one is allowed to touch it. Silk pillowcases here I come.
We Gay towned it up with the animals. Watched my top ten inspirational music videos, which degenerated in to retarded youtube amateur videos then I sent her ass home.
You have TWO rugs to choose from now and this is your current favourite perch. Oh-kay. I put this up to shame us to vacuum their hair dust clumps everywhere (like we have time) and technically I guess it should be my job to do but I am too busy typing to you stupid idiots all day long.
I am still bordering sick-ish so I stayed in again last night, I hate bailing on friend’s events but, you gotta look out for number one right. I have on-camera stuff next week and now that I am a fossil I have to take’r easy in between givin’er.
Courtney’s pics will be later down this post I don’t know why this is all backwards. Anyway, we watched a 1947 Disney film called fun and fancy free, it was trippy.
Jiminy Cricket breaks and enters into various people’s homes and then watches the people’s lives which turns in to two different stories in the “movie”.
Oldie Disney movies make me feel good inside.
So weird.
I grew up aggressively watching family channel. I had a nerd shut-in phase, as much crap I inject into my blog now that same amount of time was spent watching movies, tv, and listening to tunes as a kid.
Last night. My scalp is temporarily pink. I like when I get a cute after-tone, sometimes ash.
Here it is very Marilyn. I am against weaves, they would snag all my hair out. Being platinum is a big step and requires commitment and upkeep, and you have to hear about it ALL THE BLOODY TIME and your friends will whine about your old hair and piss you off. They can eat your dust when your princess tresses are tickling your belly button like a mermaid. This is real hair, and I have struggled though growing it so it’s annoying when some other chick just dons extensions I consider it c-h-e-a-t-i-n-g.
See how big my new HK necklace is? I also have to blow softer on the candles when I put them out, red wax on the wall.
Can you tell the video?
One of my mittens is smaller than the other, both knit by a mom and a daughter, cute right? If I wear them out they will take up my entire purse.
Stella loves her mummy. If you say that word to her she loses it! I say it four hundred times a day.
Lady Garbage slinks over for a head rub.
We unintentionally wore matching striped socks.
I guess get used to looking at people sitting on the rug pictures and all my friends having FB our livingroom profile pictures because I never go out anymore.
I’m wearing jeggings. Stupid word.
So emo. I was blasting emo tunes too. Fitting.
In the supermarket I was like, thank god I didn’t wear my yellow/blue striped ones. I like dressing like a tool in the winter time, I could care less.
Stella stares in to your soul.
Come on by for your portrait!
Ooh hot! Lookin’ good Courtney.
This came with our pizza. Super doughy. But good. I threw half of it out, dough stays in you for days while you digest it. Pass fatties!
The frosting looks like semen (but tastes better!) and that would be my newest cat scratch on my finger.
Let me take your coat. You will find entire outfits hanging up on that, like, a sock or a bra, suspenders. It’s PeeWee’s playhouse.
Courtney said her outfit didn’t matter because she was going, “nowhere special” uh WRONG. INTERNET IS TONS SPECIAL and lasts a lifetime.
This was my Thursday outfit which turned into a romper and thigh highs and a staying in night. I was supposed to go to Jay-Z and Kanye but my full of shit ticket holder date for the night was stuck out of the city (and doesn’t inform me once about this all day either) I am unfriending after I hit publish. He only for sure wanted to bone me, he never has so he’s been pestering me for a year since our last hang, in-where he still didn’t get laid and I explicitly told him (shouldn’t have) that this “concert” will not end in a boning either. I wonder if he even had tickets? He had the nerve to text me at 1am “still up?” ignore and 30 pokes on FB later the next day.
N
hey… sorry been MIA.. Im still in London for a emergency work thing.. things are bonkers…. Does not look like this night going to happen…
Raymi Lauren White
hilarious you are a jerk off thanks for fucking telling me today not once.
so angry
N
I was trying to get shit done to make. You think I do not want to go to jay n ye.
Raymi Lauren White
I better not see any kanye tweets by u then lol
N
So is the appropriate thing to say. Let me take you for a few drinks lol ?
Raymi Lauren White
pfft i can buy myself a few drinks. you made me look stupid, you gave no notice, i am dynamite to hang with, you blew it. more like drinks on a jet.
N
Reeeeelax Shit happens
Well it doesn’t happen to me! I am a busy socialite and if I make time for something that means other important somethings are on the back burner and if you don’t have the balls to man up and tell me it’s not happening, you are dead to me. He told me to be ready for 6 and I am never ready for six, or, ready. But this time I was cos I didn’t have his number (new phone) and he didn’t reply to my two FB contact attempts, one in the day and one an hour before he was supposed to fucking arrive. He is full of shit and I doubt he even had tickets “good ones”.
Aaand unfriend thank you goodbye. You blew it.
I was only using you for your tickets dude, you knew that. Last time we went to a Leaf game and you had shitty seats and because of my hair I walked us down to gold. It’s a good time to go out with me and chicks always flock and then you can have the spill-over, what a moron.
Playing that shit off casual-like to your boyfriend is rough, like, I didn’t want them to meet, this dude to me isn’t even a person, he only wants one thing but I have to act like the naive innocent girlfriend. I am not a wet blanket of a partner, I have a life and I do things on my own and if it so happens to be a dude that I have to do the thing with, then so be it, no one is my boss but me and I like to think that all women in life enjoy the same freedoms with their partners. I was in the bath and Teacher asked how I would feel if he was going to a concert with a girl I had never met, well, I don’t work with hypothetical jealousy scenarios and right now I have one hour to be ready so you get back to me when you have this girl concert date and see how I react about it. I didn’t sign up for games, it’s a waste of time and stupid, I’m going to Jay-Z and that’s that but you see, this bro didn’t just f with one person by bailing, he fucked with two.
It would have been a good time, we’d have caught up with the cougs or I’d have ditched him. I def would be wasted incarnate blah whatever. I’m only using this tale for entertainment purposes while I throw up the rest of the pics I uploaded and ran out of time to blog yesterday.
Ok next I tackle Mystery Camera. I also have to clear a bunch of shots this tv show wants permission to use, ughhh I hate tasks. I’m over my phone data limit so how much does that cost and when is my next billing period? I’m going to watch a taping of Foster the People today with Sarah! PUMPED. Then Lana Del Ray. Mental.
This could so be in the back book cover jacket sleeve yeah? Raymi currently lives and blogs in Toronto with her two cats (inherited step-motherhood thereof) one Lady Garbage and Her Friend, Boyfriend…she likes soup. But not when there is too much cinnamon in it.
Hola blogarinos!
I’d kill for some sunshine today. Short of that, a dry sky.
This shirt was close to making its way to the donation bin, can you imagine?
I wanted to do back-to-backs of a year ago this month but I looked in my archives and got severely depressed and bored instead. The desire has passed. I threw some archive links in my twitter feed and the blog numbers were cranked over 130 guests for a couple hours. Ok twenty minutes. IS equivalent to 2 hours in blog years.
I found my nail polish, it was in my laptop bag, with those strawberry nail polish remover pads erica gave me, so I gave myself an insta-mani on the spot while playing (and winning) Balderdash. It was a very intense game, I wonder how it will go down this weekend when more relatives show up. I will have to practise shadow-boxing.
On my way to victory. I still have to think of some nicely cold served revenge though for Shawn, he ripped a chunk of my hair out. In that moment I had to make a quick decision, do I give him a right hook in the eye and spoil the party or do I end it and remove myself and SLAM THE BEDROOM DOOR AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE. Still angry and I will hear it at the salon today. My brother was drinking psycho punch for sure, he warned me he would hit back earlier so I knew it would escalate. I wonder if we will still kick the shit out of each other when we’re forty?
I think I am getting sick but I am not going to dwell on it, I’ve had a couple of those sick feeling sneezes that wash all over and prickles your skin the last few days and my denial act of said sickness possible ailments has actually been working effectively so far. Knocking on wood is for pussies. I also quite enjoy the taste of snot down my throat. #yeahisaidit.
We saved the gingerbread train for Hailey but we opened it like raccoons and inspected the box contents based on the credo of “I bought it.”
We also played indoor frisbee with this neat fold-up frisbee I got in San Diego from Blogher holy shit next year take an empty suitcase with you, I bet all those mommy bloggers wrapped their kindles for this xmas, smart.
I can’t believe they let me go out in public in this dopey outfit, the socks I was wearing with leggings and grey flats, stupid hat. Behind my back they were calling me a trucker dude. It’s every man for themself in my family. Haha this reminds me of drunk wisdomery with Courtney last night, I said, life is like that Will Smith post-apocalyptic world movie (I can’t believe I spelled that right) and he’s alone waiting for rescue and there are zombie monsters everywhere, THAT is what it’s like, you MUST be happy on your own and survive. We just discovered that Courtney’s Ex is more of a piece of shit than we thought so we got smammered last night. Smammered is Heidi’s word and I give credit where it’s due.
This is how dude’s wrap a present. WRONG. You make it look like a pretend fire in drama class and place it in one sheet at a time like the whole bag is a fire. Why do you think they give you 8 pieces? This is 8 pieces of tissue paper folded over, cool waste dude! I left it as is cos it was funny and then I pointed it out to everyone when we arrived for a joke. Dad I will get you a card on the weekend. LONGEST BIRTHDAY EVER.
Friday night alright outta site! It’s getting to laundry low level so outfits are interesting I wonder what I will wear today, how exciting!
Leaf me alone. Getting longer.
AHHH Scary leaf ghost.
I don’t know my own strength/accuracy plus I had never done this trick I just invented before. Don’t aim it at your head, stupid?
A woman was studying, (absentmindedly not seriously) and we quickly ruined that for her. If you don’t want to be around people then why the fuck did you leave the house? She was scowling at our fanfare but by the end managed to grimace a giving-in smile at me because I kept staring back at her threateningly with my FUN. I hate bitter people because they remind me of how I used to be.
So suck it.
My bro had oxbloods like these when he was a teenager, I had them in blue, so I got these as an homage to him as well as a double time burn. I bought him a nice pair of Wallabee’s a couple years ago as a switcheroonie on style omg what is this Freaky Friday! He wears them on special occasion type occasions. Why am I writing like Jack Kerouac today so much oh right I’m a pisstank wordsmith like he is, a-doye.
I am trying to do the Marilyn poster, can’t wait to see it!
Even though I’ll definitely be playing Courtney Love. I thought this outfit was a bit of a Cobain Hybrid.
OMG GET OUT OF MY HEAD. Lol.
And my Nirvana tribute tat. I felt I was dressed pretty posh at my MTV interview, I am tired of the Courtney Love connection. It’s insulting. Yes she is an icon a little but I am not a raging lunatic like that, not yet anyway. I was wearing a goddamn $800 jacket that I talked about for an hour aghh!
Party statue, fresh from band practise in where I scrame my fucking guts out after very little sleep cos I was partying, I swear! NO Courtney Love here. I’m cute though right? That soup had too much cinnamon.
Teach had a burger so he only ordered soup and the waitress went, “Just soup?” haha well we had pints and I ordered a vegan sandwich. If you eat like a vegan you will look like Kate Moss but people always be fucking with Teacher, it’s funny. I think it’s the glasses. People feel comfortable, themselves, in giving him a what-for. I love it.
Whereas me it’s a mystery box of how are they going to react. I know I generally boss around servers but that’s only because I am efficient and I sort out our drinks and food within four seconds of ass hitting seat, who said it that their dad was a busser orderer too? I am not exactly that guy but I know the time saving trick of menu depositing and splitting for five minutes and nuh uh if you think homie done gone play a trick like that. Our very nice and professionally phoney people pleaser server at Fazooli’s tried it and I was like, HEY, wait a minute. Then ordered apps and those slush martinis before she could go look at herself in a mirror. She knew then that we were a table not to be ignored.
There was a pile of leaves, maybe that pissed her off? Hey lady is this your pile of leaves? There are two kinds of people in the world, those who get angry over spilled piles of leaves and those who are no big deal about it and just rake it again as life and fall is short. Ha I kinda gave up on that one right. I am getting leaving house anxiety because it’s so rainy and my light bulb ikea guy I bought out of loneliness is so comforting (you should get one) but mostly I am lazy, and possibly sick. And a whiner.
Bringing the big ass umbrella with me.
Ready for your punk rock aerobics instruction? My torso is not this long or warped, it’s the pants, they have stretched out and are a large. I’ve shrunken since purchasing them.
How is this inappropriate for minors? My jingle bell rock dance video was flagged. HO HO HO!
Don’t forget to PVR How the Minx stole Christmas.
Wait a second.
He didn’t even tell me about these ones. He said he was “getting mad” so that meant I was posing right.
Ps. I am only wearing one pearl earring in the durex video, I lost one on the way over Gotta get ready now love you bye!
