DATE NiGHT

How many drinks did I have? Three. Two capirihanas I can’t say or spell that word. NEXT. Then I had a something punch. Teacher had a dark n stormy then rye and coke. His stand-by. I think he thinks he’s classy or something, a gentleman. Yeah he’s not bad whatever lol.

This post is going to be a mess, a hot mess, like me. TGIF!

What a cutie YOU BELONG TO ME YOU ARE MY POSSESSION AGHH EXPLOSIONS! He could barely hear me over the music so we had a screaming fight while I was trying to get us hooked up with some free dranks, he said to relax and have a good time I was like, I am not that kind of person sorry. But then I did. It was tiki night, live band (too loud) and partiers, yupsters, Mom you will like it here.

One of my Deamon forms is a cat. If you have read or seen the Golden Compass (YOU MUST!) you will know what this means it’s on some Harry Potter level shit. I reject your reality and choose that of my own.

Like these guys, my friends, who do not know that they are my friends but are still my friends all the same. I am hoping there is another episode up right now, I’m a simple woman yes, under all that complexity, there is a giant lazy slob just raging to be the forefront projection of my various personas.

But NOOOOoooo we have to go out once in awhile like everybody else does (it’s winter, Minx’s hibernate too) so we watched it when we got back because I knew if we watched it first we would never leave. I avoid the couch all day long and the roof deck all summer long in order to maintain a semblance of productivity.

When I get skinny I like to pig out and then get depressed about it and then get skinny again by conjuring up massive giant clouds of stress and anxiety to scare the fat off my bones. It’s working for now but I’ve yo-yo’d before so I am being cautious. Never-ending daily battle all women on this earth are plagued by. Moving on now.

My jacket is back! Need to trim all fraying material at the pockets, looking a bit beaten.

Should have chosen to face the other way cos it quickly filled up behind me and there was all this action at the back of my head on top of a chick who recognized me but only once I put my hat on.

So happy to be reunited with good wings again. These are the dry pepper rub and lime with habanero on the side.

Four pork tacos, not bad, can add another one to make it an order of four for two people. Obvi we did that.

Capiriahanaaaaaaa.

Done.

Steak Frites. The truffle cream will blow you out of your seat.

Before that we worked on some comedy.

Ok I’m giving up now. Have a nice night Little Raymis. Xoxo.

please post here now

Sorry for being a waste of space today guys I have to stop partying on Thursdays. There’s two Fridays in this city, one just happens to be called Thursday but anyway don’t you think there would be more suicides if weeks were months long? (TGIF!)(Or TGISF thank goodness it’s second Friday) Like the weekend only came at the END of the month? You think about that while I build you a nice post to read before you leave your little offices and start your weekend warrior lives. Kay thanks bye!

MY BRAIN HURTS AND MY EYES ARE STINGING cut me some slack give me a break cut it out and so on haaha.

I should have just gone in to the office like I said and approved the (blog) designs cos god knows I sure as shit didn’t get anything important accomplished today. I am kind of milking mtv but the flush of extra traffic should have been put to better use like pictures of my cats’s tupperware party and more advertisements! Get a free Jamba while you still can is what I mean.

I’ve changed the screen grab to one of myself instead of LaurenOcide but it hasn’t taken so maybe lots of people are watching it cos they think I’m her (prettier) and on youtube they watch it cos of a burlesque screen grab. Everyone wins!

Tits and wigs

Dude. Dude? Ya dude! Totally.

This could be on a stamp or hippie poster. I will draw crap around it maybe.

Hot Mess Yikes.

I would listen to this band, shit yeah! What’s our name called? Ha nice grammar. I know! Hot Mess Yikes. Lol.

I want more hair. MORE HAIR EVERY COLOUR!

Kind of like Ariel right, it was an not an accident that I looked like a mermaid.

Hot emo sad.

Now I know I can do p0rn and get away with it with a wig on. Not that I Would, just Could, COULD. Should? Good? Just Kiddayng. Maybe a spy though.

Sabrina squeezed my neck foam and was like, what is this for, is this for, fashion? I was like yeah it is I know (it’s bananas) and she just shook her head and fell back into the couch. I could tell she was disappointed I didn’t get railroaded as much as I had let on that I would be. Ahh sweet fucking relief and I blew the ending for them too hahaha can’t help it runs in the family. They were like oh darn! No they weren’t (yes they were) but they didn’t say it cute like that.

Wig time, I guess I kind of look like shit without a wig on.

Exploiting Shannon’s jugs! No problem!

Continue reading

ONE OF THE MOST AWESOME THINGS THAT I HAVE EVER DONE!


That’s Terry, of Fubar. Yes him!

Basically in a nutshelll, I solved a crime for my buddy Nav who owns Wrongbar, hung out with fubar all night long, well when they got there, but also backstage during their film fest after party which was packed and seeing yupsters turned away from the other side of the velvet rope completely obliterated (me, it was a long night, bar was open til 4am, film fest special privileges) was one of the most gratifying feelings that went through the body of your hero, second only to this moment captured forever in film, of me doing heavy metal Raymaoke to Enter Sandman, duh. It gets really good and retarded and insane the more it goes on. I let a girl scream on mic at one point and then I finish the song off in my own fashion.

Best feeling ever because I had no feelings (no nervous!) I was entirely slaughtered and everyone sang along too plus I was the only one to get to do it and I am thankful they had that song cos it’s the only metal song I felt I could pull off. Then the band played right after me so it was the karaoke host and then me and then band and normally at wrongbar you can just do whatever the fuck you like and barely pay attention to the stage all the way from the front like people who think (myself included) they are too cool, oh wait hey, is there a, band tonight? pff ha right hipsters but anyway, it wasn’t like that when I performed. This story over time will grow to have unicorns (skullheads on stage sufficed) in it and maybe one day I can talk about all the drugs too! I almost rolled my ankle on an uneven part of the stage when I was dancing like Belushi and Chris farley’s spririts were moving through me.

I know, it’s only rock and roll BUT I LIKE IT!

Brb with stupid hot pictures you will all pretend to not care about.

*Original braggart POST HERE. “over 300 people were watching this like it was a concert. I was a concert. ” Haha I say I actually was nervous in that post. I have since changed my mind, I was pretend nervous.

F

UUU.

Anyone else enjoying the bigness of my teeth as well?

Melodie wouldn’t let me shower this night. We went out like skids.

Hater of the weak

why am i not surprised to hear back from someone who stars in a RTM.COM blog post entitled:

YOU WERE A BITCH. THE END.

Do you guys see what I have to deal with, with these fucking people here? Imagine a kaleidoscope full of every single emotion imaginable, walk of life, freak, ups, downs, highs, lows, contacting you every single day, mental problems knocks on your door. OTHER PEOPLE’S MENTAL PROBLEMS.

Without further ado I give you a creature of obsessive habit, person specimen what is known as “sam smith” she or he is fucked up as hell, finds other internet personalities who have all stumbled on to huge success (it’s a lottery dude, not a given) and then emails me about them? She is obsessed with internet phenomena, it is apparent but I don’t see the necessity in sharing your gay news clippings like my grandma or dad do, uh? Get some friends. If you have friends, would you tell them you emailed me like you do?

You gotta change your plan..

Cause after 11 yrs it’s getting you nowhere. Especially since little girls like this one below accomplish more and do something more productive with their own blogs in a much shorter amount of time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2087822/Tanya-Burr-Blogger-YouTube-sensation-make-tutorials.html

Yep.. This girl, pixiwoos, amodelrecommends and Lisa Eldridge. All leaving you in the dust!!

As you would say… BURN!!

Haha! Continue reading

Behind the Creeps scenes with my mom

Here’s my clip! Ps. I win!

watch the final decision here. My mom’s profile is now up oh shit.

There’s eleven minutes of this!

I have no idea what is said or goes down so, let me know the highlights I got shit to do haha. Oh mom.

Should have brought two bottles of champagne.

This has been on my fridge for weeeeeks.

Wore my Valentine K sweater!

My summary about the next episode of Creeps is, my mom was shocked by how calm I was because normally I am screaming and swearing at her (she winds me up) but I was like mom, it’s scripted, we take turns, tv shows have organization behind them despite how messy they can sometimes appear. Also they talk in your ear to try to get you to goad the contestant, it’s funny, and I tried to be a talk hog as much as I could but I also felt like I got my moment on the last episode. My mom wishes she was feistier, I think she stands her ground pretty firm and looks hot too. It’ll be a fun show to watch and cringe. Hoping to get our clips for my blob for everyone to see.

back with more of this very soon!

i came i saw i ruled

Lots and lots of wig pics comin’ right up! Danger playing with wigs cos that’s the next step to dying your hair dark. Noooo I look so good but whyyyyyyyyyy can’t I be both? MY EPISODE IS UP if you missed it last night, it’ll be up alll week loooong. How can we rip it for the American Little Raymis to see? Halp please.

Dear Raymi the Minx

(Psst I have no eyebrows in these photos, my “face” isn’t on yet not to hyper-focus/draw attention or anything and these photos were taken with a program called Motion FX so there are funny light effects in them that are barely noticeable/noticeable).

Dear Raymi

Subject: Random

I should be far too embarrassed to admit this but I found your twitter feed in a round about way that started out with me watching Jersey Shore. Yes a 36 yr old male watching Jersey Shore and saw and ad for that Creeps show and well I creeped and eventually stumbled upon your blog.

The underwear shots lured me in but I have to tell you its slightly addictive to kind of go through your life in pics and captions.

Anyway hopefully not too random and creepy but thanks for the entertainment on a boring Thursday night! Have bookmarked the blog already.

Thanks bro its mad flattering actually no worries comment write any time at least ya knew me before shit hit the mtv fan been doing it over a decade haha raymi

You win the vibrator or we sign up to win the vibrator? (yes you do) I don’t have much use for it but it sure is shiny

you Sign up to win it lol

well I would have signed up to help you win it….that thing wont fit in my ass….but it sure is pretty…

hahaha feel free to spread the word

Well your blog keeps me entertained at work and your ass looks incredible in that red number so its the least I can do….will do my part

Thank u thanks and comment don’t forget I love those!

I just gave you my comments! But yes will do so on the site as well! Does it bother you slightly when guys just go on and on about the pics? I mean I went to the site initially because your hot and like to dress up but stayed and come back because of some voyeuristic nature inside me finds it incredibly fascinating to continue checking in daily. Anyway sorry for the novel will start commenting on the site!

i am going to blog this chat. i am all things blog obsessed. i indulge people who email me because i feel a connection to them, if they’re nice and seemingly get me you can bother me all day long times however many years. i have many friends guys and girls of all ages i’ve never met before but help me get through my day whether they know it or not. i like comments because it is less isolating and engenders a discussion, i am oldschool and very content gung-ho and comments i am told are a big part of my blog too, apparently i’m the only blog that has interesting comments, now i dont think that but i see what was meant by that opinion. at the short of it, it helps me in my opinion to have comments because i reply, more people come to watch. i say a lot of offensive shit and then no one says anything, maybe im too forward or they are scared i dunno. being erotic is part of my thing i guess, i just wanted to be good looking and have people like me for that. i know it’s silly but i see myself as a science experiment too a little bit. I have substance, I make time for people which proves alleged said substance so people (men) stick around once they’ve been sucked in my my butt.

thanks for being a fan/friend

by all means feel free….I would be happy for people to read what I think about your blog.

So to summarize….comments are great and help add to the dynamic of the site but feel free to email you anytime I want? Oh and I can make comments on your physical appearance as well? Oh and that you’re a lil tipsy to help calm your nerves? (Its really the best medicine anyway).

Good luck tonight will have to make sure I tune in!

it shows i have an army and helps fight the haterade and show that im not that bad afterall (not at all bad) some times i am broke some times i am not people think im living this fantasy reality but i still need money to make this blog happen. comments are a part of it its like saying thank you raymi

Casie is here. Gotta gothe show begins! Ack! Heading over to O’Nizzler Laurenocide‘s for 9 cos we don’t get MTV here how ironic. Just think Canadian Little Raymis, our eyes will all be drinking in the same air at the same time tonight. I want to hear your opinions about it too, only the good stuff. And if I’m unhappy about how I came off, i shall rebut.