Is it a sign of aging if you like a good stroll? Dogs are good for that.
I love big ol enchanted trees.
Ahh why am I inside right now I dunno I’m an idiot I’m addicted to blogging I’ll go for a walk in an hour the good weather isn’t going anywhere, tomorrow it’ll be even nicer. Hurrah!
Virgin suicides Sofia Coppola moment.
Dad’s band killed it last night. I sang a couple songs. One is up now I’m going to check it and add it in a minute to this post.
I am into this.
All the bikes are out this time of year with avengeance.
The home stretch after our big long walk/run. A loser commented that I am getting fat again. Thanks buddy you helped me lose 3lbs by watching my diet this weekend :). But today is Thanksgiving dinner so we’ll see how much skin I stuff into my face.
We don’t need no stinking badges.
Dancing to my dad’s band. Fun times.
I forgot my dr. blobbert shirt. We made do.
I wore my penis shoes. Like that guy is a penis. You wouldn’t understand, maybe if you have a brother and talk like disgusting cretins. I was going to stick my mary jane heels in my dad’s gear but thought whatever I’ll be gong-showed plus we walked. Tom York wears track shoes with hipster jeans in the just video, that’s when I knew irony was fashionable.
Ooh I want one of those crazy german motorcycle helmets. Or the one that bad guys wear in GI JOE.
I blasted by these two on Queen holding up my jean shorts (so fat they fall off/no belt) with the dog, AA tube socks, and he goes YOO check this girl out. I was like, they are cool and likely connected I def gotta go back and give him my card. Second chance happened on Dundas, I yelled across the street as we waved to one another, no YOU come here. He took my picture on film. I said I heard what he said. You should challenge yourself to talk to at least 3 strangers a week, the city is too isolating and timid. Forget his name but was spinning at Roosevelt wanted me to come by. I said I partied a billion times a week so, maybe not but keep in touch.
I see these two and think what would raymi’s mother do? First I asked their ages in case they were 13. Not twins! But the blue one has a twin. Bizarre right? Diane Arbus eat your heart out.
Ahhhh dreamy lil apple.
It’s even hotter out there today right now I am speed typing now to get out there before slipping in to my ridiculous ball gown to impress nana at thanksgiving dinner hahahah. I dressed up for her in the hospital once so she wouldn’t say something negative – the prettier i look the more her manchester powers are defenceless against my glamourous smiling facade and golden hair ahhaa. Anyway she’s like Lauren are you going to a party? I was dressed like a snow fairy, I said no nana this is all for you, as I wheeled her around the hospital near Christmas eve winking and flirting with all the doctors. When I got home I slipped into my rags and melted like a dirtbag in to the couch by the fire ahh while sugar plum fairies danced in my head. Also it is my Papa’s 83rd birthday today. What? What do I get him?
I don’t care what you think or say, this does nothing but delight me this gorgeous weather, it is fantastic and a god send. This is the last time I am going to say this, g’wan be a long ass winter.
See Pluto growing on my forehead? I just made us all bacon and eggs and I feel like a new universe is being created in blemishes all over my face ugh. i only had a teeny bit of bacon. I always feel gross when I eat it. Yeah you crave it and it’s delicious but if you restrict every so often your day is all the better for it. Like, my dad and teacher are napping right now and who is the one up?
Ha ok there Hollywood.
We played in the school park field with Stella. Never go down this street. I could have been burning out in that field all summer long what?
Ew sick look at my runs too much leg, so skinny, funny. I’m thrilled!
Uhh fido dido much. I want to lift weights right now.
Showing a new dance move I invented that looks stupid apparently. Not when three hot girls in witch hats do it simultaneously!
Yes, some good and quality time was spent with Stella.
That sun, she was a blazin’.
I look like a potato. I don’t even know why I am showing you this.
this was shot before learning what the installation was all about.
Initial Nuit Blanche smattering here. Finally dredging up the rest I’ve already uploaded, brb. It’s gorgeous out I’m wearing a bikini ahhh glorious! Fank you Sun King! Oh here too are more teddy bear shots. My favourite ones. I’m a ladybear Stew said.
Getting pumped up for my show.This is what scared looks like kids. Face your fears in life and your will be stronger, more iron in your will than food. I learned that from my cleanse coach.
I was shaking. But I was also obliterated so when I was performing I was more focused on my wicked buzz and thankfully I had a long shaggy bang all over my face. I’ve been to many concerts, seen so many various styles of performer, I know how it is done. I am a born entertainer. It was brought.
After it was all said and done we dipped in to Bovine, had just missed a live nude bondage performance whaaat? increds.
That guy was 7 feet tall. Wicked get-up. Andy Koffman as that lounge lizard dude? He was one of the photograph subjects, in a bathtub naked with two hot broads. Very sexy art back there. You can see it at my show!
Here’s my calling card, stay close now. Dressing as a fuzzy animal gets you away with murder. not real murder but things you wouldn’t normally get up to. The only near miss altercation was with two jersey boy guido poseurs. I won of course.
Cute no? Yes. That guy took a seat to watch the show. Nuit Blanche is like Mardi Gras Halloween.
She was like a severe drew barrymore face. So cute.
She is telling me how great I am and my performance at The Toronto Underground Cinema. Aww.
I am building a hot girl army.
CAUGHT ONE! Lady Bear LUNCH TIME!
Just gonna sneak up on these unsuspecting campers now heheheh deedly dee.
I don’t like street meat. We went to Mcdonald’s for the sketchiest experience ever.
There was a big ass castlelike mansion in Bellwoods once, which is why those gates are there. Now why in the hell they tore it down is beyond me. Idiotic. Princess Diana has her palace in hyde park, right? Kensington? I have it written down in one of my travel journals. Something palace, starts with a c? ugh brain!
Scuse me coming through.
Everyone was dancing at my teddy bear picnic. Great success!
One of my fav parts about this costume was not having to wash my hair. Laziness grounds for the day. That pile of my clothes is gone now. Slobtastical.
Babe Bartender Allison. it’s nice being a VIP at bovine.
RSVP TO HAUNTED HAREM BURLESQUE At the Bovine Oct 29 – It’s going to be a rager! The week before that I’m throwing an arts & crafts party: we’ll make ghost mobiles and weird scary art! Do you know any halloween things to make? Lets invite Martha Stewart over, she had Snoop on her show once. Baller!
Ahh love me a do-nothing post. THESE are the rewards that make all the hustle worth it. These in-betweeners, they help me get through the scary landscape what is my mind, life. How many neurotics out there reading? How often do you worry about your place in society, status quo, business, I dunno. WORRIES. Man, what a drag.
A guy I dated once said he loved the fantasy world I created for myself. The make believe. What are you talking about? In the same breath he called me a charlatan. What the fuck is that? We were in bed naked together and I laughed. It was actually a compliment cos it means I coast on dreams pixie dust fume sparkles. But can I forever?
I’m just as scared as any of you. Imagine of all the doubts you had about yourself daily were amplified ten fold, ten times when you least expect it throughout the day something intensely disdainful was thrown your way. I think you’d be exactly like me, worse.
I have always taken matters in to my own hands my entire life. I can’t? Watch me. Cue spitting dust and pebbles.
While sitting here three insane facebook messages came through about my age, how I should hang up my heels. Other putrid stuff as if written by psycho ward demon. The way a person writes, their typos and grammar, it’s a massive impression from their soul cos emotions tend to get affixed to the words they choose and if you’ve been reading for eleven years it’s like waiting for the fuse to go out and BOOM. All crazies eventually snap.
I had written on my facebook to not spam my wall, as a status update, directed at no one and everyone. This guy LOST IT. Anyway, I will only have to get used to this, and more of it. I know right? SO wrong.
So apparently when I sound off anger on the internet it warrants a massive cataclysm.
Why do you think I train like a nutcase? One of the guys on Survivor said if you didn’t do any sort of exercise, training, working out before the show, then you’re an idiot.
I met with my book agent yesterday and got him to light a fire under our asses. Outline due Tuesday. I’m more of a show don’t tell girl so I say no more.
Need to do something about the Harth hive lighting, I look grey here.
Do you know what Harth stands for? HARMONICA AVALANCHE RADIO TOOTHPICK HOUSE. Ask again and get a completely different and fun answer. That is how we do. No seriously they told me Hurricane Alf Rocketship… Lets see what Diamond says when I interview him. I heard a rumour he is shy. Isn’t that adorable!
St. patty’s day owl, a knight guy representative of something funny I forget and me Oktoberfest wench. This is the Halloween user group meeting. Seriously this is like hanging out with JPOD. I love it.
This was a very busy day for me I was on a warpath and BBMing non-stop. I changed into my costume in the car in front of two garbagemen up in their garbage truck looking down and into the windshield replete with headlights. It will definitely make the life highlight of 2011 cut. Sean was like they’re all in here in costumes waiting for you and like the team player I am I couldn’t get my shirt off fast enough. Luckily I threw this costume in to my Nella Bella Gym bag in planning to wear it in our ANDY MILONAKIS video. There was also a totally weird french guy and other strangers. This was a partial major duping because I have nothing but s-e-x costumes I wanted to throttle sean but I was too busy bbming Joey. UGHHHH hahaha.
Hodge glitter-podged James Dean from rebel w/o a cause on to butterface pin-up girl. You can claim him if you donate to my aboutface charity. My paintings at base sell for $300. Truth. My thermometer is embarrassingly at 0. I got donations already toward Jenn’s, but I still had to register for legal purposes in case I die up there but yeah, this time I am rewarding a Little Raymi with something nice. Second prize donation is my Rasta designer toothbrush haha. I am walking the CN Tower on October 28 at 8 in the morning. Oh my god. O_O. I’ve climbed mountains and high structures before but this, I dunno. At least it’s for charity. Jenn’s is up to $645! Amazing. She has three boys with cleft palettes and AboutFACE is a charity that helps those kids with skills for the future, they go to camp and have a wonderful experience like “normal” kids and then I fall off the CN Tower. I’ve never been UP the CN Tower before. They give you a breathalyzer too.
I told my therapist about all the insane things I do and he was like, wow. I’M STRESSED OUT OF MY MIIIND! HAhaha. You know every time someone goes, man I’m so ____ I’ll jump out of a window! Or off a building. Kay nevermind that joke doesn’t make sense cos I’m not jumping, or falling, I HOPE! I would black out on my way down if I bungee jumped. I made a hot air balloon ride joke to my dad as a non-sequitor “what’s new?” once and he completely lost his mind on me. Woah was TOTALLY KIDDING. he’s used to my stupidity these days. Looking forward to his band’s gig tomorrow in my beloved Burnoutington.
This tender amish moment ruined by yours truly. CHOOSE ELECTRICITY STAY! STAY! The modern world is calling. Actually I would love to trade places. I could write for the village newspaper on the side of a cave bahaha. Mennonites fascinate me. Wonder if they ever google themselves. I know someone who gave a bunch a lift once cos they built the barn on their property, what? You’ll go to hell if I drive you, get out and hoof it Jebediah!
Up Ossington.
These shoes make me laugh, so geeky. Yuppie bait!
Have to get back in to burlesque spirit. Shit dog I never left. Maybe I should go to a strip club and take notes. We did in Quebec City. Funny night man they are smooth operators.
Blowing through film to see if I am doing it right, I need to take it out I think.
Leslie’s like you will NEVER mail that. The soap made it like ten times more expensive to ship, it’s a brick.
Name the artist.
This is a dreamy little place. I left with 15 bags of coffee to-go for ten bucks? Fifteen? Forget but it’s delicious and each bag is a full pot, they cut out the thinking for me. Cafe Barnate, hidden gem I have never stepped in before.
It’s gorgeous out so it’s time for a spin with Stella.
OK lets put our thinking caps on and I’ll grab my notes. The conference feedback about your hero was: wow she has a plan – she knows what she wants and she is going after it. – congrats and u looked gorgeous :).
Raymi the Minx aka Lauren White or, Raymi Lauren, built her brand at the age of 17, spawning raymitheminx.com in 2000. She is a pioneer of blogging and was amongst the small pool of bloggers during its first wave of popularity in 2002, drawing the attention of The National Post and SEX TV. A provocateur savant, unabashed black sheep of the digital age, influencer, trend setter, wordsmith; Raymitheminx.com has been a MUST READ in the Toronto’s hip and in-the-know arena for over a decade. Raymi is on par with media, a notable invitee to all the to-dos, touted as the Penny Lane of Toronto (long time music industry ties), muse to the stars, spearheads a bounty of fellow Little Raymis with copious pop-up copycat raymi blogs. Multiple times over viral, donning garb and trends before you got over the last one. Raymi has singlehandedly made a business of her personal everyday life, is a spokesmodel for a plethora of elite brands and has successfully married her hobbies and passions with business, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. You need to meet her to fully experience and grasp her special brand. A closet feminist, comedienne, exhibitionist, Raymi wears all hats and didja know, she’s HUGE in the foodie scene too, not to mention, a rapidly budding and requested burlesque dancer?
Showed up a little early (for once) to catch the panel before mine to see how these ladies were doing it. they would set the bar and I would be cartwheeling over it. That was my trick to settling my nerves. It worked. Was still nervous though, but I am always nervous so it doesn’t much matter. I’ll distract them with dazzle camouflage.
Following people on twitter and they thank you by spam blasting you with something you have zero per cent interest in. No thank you. Unfollow.
Katrina tweeted are you wearing pants? I replied with oh sh- where are mein pants? ILUVHER.
I guess colleague was bored at points. He is already well-versed in all my wacky hair-brained schemes.
That baby was calming. We vibed off one another. I don’t know protocol in talking to babies, is it ok? I picked up a dog once in a movie store and my bf was like NO. That’s the equivalent of picking up someone else’s baby. I get away with stuff all the time and I know that what I can do isn’t necessarily ok for everybody else. Yes I get special privileges.
They all followed my twitter straight off the bat thanks to Rose. I am this close to being a pyramid scheme (what’s a ponzi scheme that sounds fun!) or a televangelist.
I know and don’t know what they were saying. The room was packed! No seats or, I just didn’t want to interrupt. I saw that no one was being as insane and boisterous as I had been plotting. My nerves went away. I’ve been on network autopilot for weeks it is second nature now and annoying all of my friends. I can’t stop selling.
THIS GIRL HAS SOME STAR QUALITY (AND I’M NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW AFTER WATCHING THIS). BUT, REALLY. SHE HAS MORE TALENT AND SEX APPEAL THAN MOST OF THE BIMBOS ON TV TODAY. WHY NOT? PUT THIS GIRL IN A MOVIE PLEASE!
It’s super weird to get comments daily to a ghost of a girl. Like she lives in a dance video in a condo she used to live in. Click that link to see.
More of that.
@1ofthose2girls the tiara chick had the fortune of washing her hands precisely when I was in the loo putting on my magic final touches and thus became deeply entangled in a massive sharing of ladies room banter. That’s Katrina, the new treasurer of empire raymi. She is paid in Brie.
@KarmicEvolution screamed out I LOVE YOU. I dared her to. It happens at the end of my Intro here. I knew she’d do it cos she had a whale on her head. People with animals on their heads typically are wont to yell things out in public.
This is what I call being a team player. Did you wear your shirt?
I wore a bra in case my party hats would be showing. I chose my colour over summer and everything was easy breezy sunny and I was a surfer babe 24/7. Farah said she expected me to show up in my lifeguard outfit. She said it’s infamous hahaha. Totally. Maybe I’ll do a post of photos of me wearing it all over town.
All #SCCTO babes get a discount to AndroidTO. code: RAYMI. Android and Connected sitting in a tree c-o-n-f-e-r-e-n-c-i-n-g. Hot geek love.
Another baby.
So adorable.
Your baby is a thief. Her mom was like I am trying to train her to pull people’s rings off. Loved that. I love when they take you to task for the bluffs you throw out there.
Pfffft.
One of the first things I said was I FEEL LIKE I AM SITTING AT A BAR. I was jokey. People listen to stand-up.
They are all staring. It’s like a dream and a nightmare simultaneously.
I want those shots. or maybe not. You get the idea.
OOh that hat was a good idea, face hiding. Like when people whisper, you listen closer. If my face is obscured you will constantly look for it.
Ok I will for real get up off my ass now and get my notes. It was hard to say all the things you planned to because it was a discussion and specific questions lead to specific answers. What works for me might not necessarily work for you and I knew I couldn’t convince a room of 200 proactive techy chicks that the recipe to success was heavily beauty based or being a constant gag-making stooge, I can tell that to you guys but to a room, nuh uh. Everyone likes to think that they have all the answers better than you. Fine then go get invited to a panel and tell it on a microphone. Mantain relevancy and longevity. That is the goal. I am eleven years old this blog, one woman rushed me about blogging back in the day too but yeah, are you notable?
Well done clap clap now lets see what the feedback is.
That guy interviewed me on his little blog tv show thing haven’t heard from him yet. I get 80% more traffic than him, my colleague said, THAT is why RAYMI when he asked “innocently” about what the big deal about bloggers and brands is. Advertising, dude. That’s what. It’s just a channel of preference. Have something neat you wanna raise hype and awareness for, email ME: RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM Think your brand is too elite for me, you’re fooling yourself and asleep at the wheel. My fingers are in every pie.
@zchamu was in my Blogher San Diego crew. LOVE HER! Which is blog code speak for SHE LOVES RAYMI.
YES WE CAN!
Moments prior to this I was like you have to be a punk rock mommy blogger these days to be interesting again and WHAMMO! Dreams answered.
Shannon was on her way back to Ottawa. Wah. Go hang out with my aunt and uncle! They’re like me (nothing like me) but way more posh.
Amen blonde sister. Don’t feel alienated other girls. Colleague said I alienate people sometimes when I write I had no idea what he is talking about cos he hasn’t any hair at all!
Here is a picture of what me pretending to know EXACTLY what african drumming is. Like, Peter Gabriel’s concerts? Gahaha. Please totally invite me I dance like a chicken to tribal music it will be hilarious.
Wait for it!
Hahahaa.
I am doing my patented MIB-rip-off memory record wiping by waving at the air. Photographic evidence unfortunately doesn’t delete the same nor does willingly typing html code into the body of your typing field for the photo either. It’s unfortunate that this entire post is tainted for me based on one rotten egg of a woman talking shit about me. My brand isn’t “for her” and had I known this our conversation meet and greet that I was nothing but lovely during would have been wildly different.
It’s ok, I’m wearing a hat. I got this covered.
She liked me, I liked her, blah blah blah oh that’s right she was at the picnic too!
Give me some.
I want a tiara! I’ll be a stagette party forever no problemo!
Conference sponsor what’s up!
Give me one.
Sometimes I look Japanese right? That is because I am related to David Suzuki. No just kidding. Notice how I antagonize a notable periodically here for about a month’s time to get a reaction out of it. WINDOW’S CLOSING, SUZUKI. Why weren’t you at the picnic? I planted a tree in your honour.
There’s a video of this but I think it was TMI so won’t be posting. If I knew how to edit. Hmmm.
Ha. Who even knows anymore?
Tracey was like what would we talk about on tv? I’m LIKE WHAT WOULD WE TALK ABOUT????
She said I had it going on and I said you distracted me during my panel, I saw you look down and was trying to figure out who you were and then saw you typing and thought, “what is she typing about me?” I am totally self centred.
I wish I didn’t look like this when I laughed, but I do. Oh well. The point is what WOULDN’T we talk about on CityLine? What is the live delay, 5 seconds? Bahaha.
Don’t I look like Sam Crenshaw sometimes?
+++
Something neat, this photo is trending right now on tumblr:
It took my breath away because I took a photo of the same steps in New Orleans Louisiana in April 2008. Crazy!
Using the audio wasn’t an option, sounded muddy and underwater. Not a bad activity to practise your first video by. Maybe they’ll let me take the go-pro up on the CN Tower. They’d have to duct tape it to my face. Well just another day in the life as usual right? This week seems like it’s flying.
We made our promo video the other night for Andy Milonakis. He raps too did you know that? Did you know he rapped with Snoop? Do you know that he is the funniest person you will ever have the chance to breathe the same breath as ever? Exactly.
I hope his response video isn’t ten times better. It most definitely will be.
This made me laugh hysterically for ten minutes. The camera takes stills every so often so you know what video clips to look forward to.
Don’t forget to get a ticket to the HARTH FEST PARTY OCTOBER 26 7PM @ 99 Sudbury (same space the Android TO conference is held). Tell your boss to cover your ticket, say it’ll be comprised of all the conference savants which is where the real business deals go down: strip clubs, on the green, wasted someplace. This is a key networking rule, meet the people first and see if they want to work with you (and likewise) then the next time you see them, blather a proposal or follow-up email with one. Short of that, it’s going to be a hysterical f-ing time, over the top and unprecedented. ROLLER GIRLS WHIPPING AROUND THE ROOM, Burlesque, an MTV CELEB, ME! YOU! EVERYONE! Val Toronto Gal pumped it up too. She and I have wicked dance-offs so I am personally excited about her attendance.
See?
*Early bird tickets aren’t going to be available forever.
**You help us spend more money on this event when you buy these tickets.
Thank you.
All the machines will kill us one day if we don’t be nice to them, basically.
