Hey guys. Welcome back. It’s great to be here. I’ve had a wonderful last few days.
Ready for this?
Nate and I have been meaning to collaborate for a long time now he is my e-buddy hardcore since I slipped through the cracks. We talk all the goddamn time and since I well, I should shut my yapper actually because I am writing about him for these bros ===> so with what I am not using for that mega piece I’ll just blog now. I must say though that I am muchos stoked.
I went cray at winners on a ton of black gear. That is my look until I am fit again. That’s an rcva shirt, did I spell it right? Anyway street cred.
I got one of those phone cases you can drop off a building that was smart of me.
Guys should I start posting newds again j/k. I was posting this above photo to just “be funny” and go hey what do you think about this??? All Sarah Silverman like you know. Forgive me as I am half blasted on scotch at the moment. Saw Jack Reacher. Ate pita pit. Bowled. Fish market oysters. Dranks. Fun Sunday! More pics of it tomorrow all proper blog like. I even convinced an apple owner (iphone) that galaxy was better when he saw my phone in action! That never happens to me. We won guys, we won yay!
But omg do I love scotch is your face supposed to be on fire like this cos I like it. It’s super beet red boy am I ever gonna sleep tonight. I’m at that Dysthymic state of being when your dreams are more interesting and involved than your waking life I’d call this my Beatles and the Maharishi phase. Quiet, reflective. Jesus I just googled Dysthymic — “a depressive mood disorder characterized by a chronic course and an insidious onset.” GREAT! Well I’ll be. (southern drawl). My mother keeps a facebook photo album entitled the winter of my discontent. I wonder which of us will walk in to the river first with that attitude.
Blaha. Loved this one. Hated my face. MS PAINT COMPROMISE THROW-DOWN SUCK IT!!!!!!!
Fuck it dude lets go bowling. That, we did. Alright it’s late and I gotta pretend to be asleep now.
Collective sigh of relief. Man was my other phone uber-annoying I could not work like that I don’t know how I ever did. I wanted to throw it in to the fucking sun on so many occasions. Anyway lets hope my new one doesn’t make me kill myself over data-over usage and that everything works out for the best no problem apparently I have mad credits on my account I’ve never applied to anything so with that I can work out a good plan. I have a question though how do I save my own instagram photos? Or email them when I make them? There’s still so much to learn about my phone, the guy was like this phone is better than the Iphone 5, by far and it’s cheaper. Okay then. So far so good. Too bad he was kind of a dick though, bad custy service grounds for a I am leaving Rogers for Bell flip-out/new phone manipulation.
That’s the one. It’s pretty big. I chose it in white. I really have nothing else to talk about other than boring nonsense as I’ve been sick all weekend long and did nothing. I am becoming progressively more and more stir crazy thanks to winter + sick + suburbs. I am casually starting to look for a place to rent downtown finally so lemme know if you know of anything. This is like my personal craigslist website what else do I need while I’m at it are we out of milk? Newp. Okay hi, happy Sunday.
Thank god my friend is coming to town today to eat drink putt movie whatever anything hang. Allow me to paint a partial picture of my charming little life now. It reminds me a little bit of my time spent living in Maine in the winter. When we go to the supermarket it’s like walking in to quicksand, everyone is slow, everything takes so long the cashiers are the slowest moving older chicks ever. I’d be employee of the year if I had a lane there swiping shit at lightning speed don’t worry this is not ever going to fucking happen but honestly how can you be so goddamn slow and not just you even, you, you, that lane over there, holy crap that one has the longest line ever. My dad, my brother and I will all choose separate lanes and shoot each other psycho telepathic eyes bugging out incredulously frustrated facial expressions like, I know, yes, yes, I know this is actually happening we’ve been standing here silently for 20 minutes now. It doesn’t help either that the supermarket is connected to the liquor store, my favourite store in all of Borington fuck it I should get a job there ahha. I only crave the social aspect and this is when I am reminded of Maine because this happened there too. As city folk operating at city pace you leave all that shit behind and go live on the coast with stupid people, sorry, simple people. Who live without irony or snarky jokes about fashion and you find yourself wanting to chat one up while you buy your groceries because you haven’t opened your mouth in hours to talk to anyone all day and the cashier just stares blankly at you like a zombie. Some people don’t have enough marbles rolling around upstairs for small talk, or they’re too shy to be chatty. It’s just not in them to talk to you like someone at Queen video would with way too much personality and out-funnying you I swear to god this one time at brunch with our waitress I was like you are going to have to stop having an answer for everything I fucking say I am trying to just get my order placed here please but I still mega-miss that shit and appreciate it I feel like I’ve had a lobotomy since being out here.
It is really super easy to pare down your life once you leave the bustling city but please keep inviting me to things to lure me back I mean it. At first you go through this bailing/I don’t wanna phase. It gets harder to go back or when you do you stay for a few days go on some dates maybe and see your pals party hardy rinse and repeat. It’s harder to organize though that has always been my problem.
Okay I have to shower now! Keep it real homies. Your pal Raymi.
I feel as if I don’t fucking exist right now! And no not in the existential identity-crisis sense it’s just because my phone has finally bit the dust. There’s a term (several I’d imagine) attributed to this new world phenomena of Dude where’s my phone? actually, which makes me smirk because I find phone-dependent people to be flakey hollow-headed twerps in need of constant gratification, attention and connection. It’s a hallmark of mental shit going on and insecurity if you can’t just stand there in a room, in the crowd and meet everyone in the eye but instead tweeting, instagramming and facebooking the night away like yo all of your friends are right here right now but I just have a business to run and calls to make, phone companies to scream at a package to get at. The keys to the city are in my voicemail which gets texted out phonetically to me that I can read but these texts come in to me in spanglish sometimes then a phone number which I never call until I hear the entire voicemail. I fucking HATE talking to people in the day, it’s a drag. If I could communicate by type for forever then I would. I don’t like breaking my creative bubble. Mindus interruptus is too distracting and I will go flit off to do something else, waste 3 hours on twitter, I dunno what the hell I actually do to kill time since Borington actually haha.
I realize that my life right now is totally not working. Commuting is exhausting. I used to come out here ironically for a week at a time every so often when I was living at Adventurehouse. All irony is lost now. It’s not that bad but it’s the boredom that kills you and leads to all other problems. In Toronto if I got this bored I’d go for a run (it’s winter, I don’t run in winter) or just go out and see someone, walk somewhere, get some errands done. My phone being broken is an added buzzkill and you know I have had some nice phone conversations while being out here, I use it more that’s why it’s ‘sploded to shit and my phone bills are higher because again more use now whereas in the city I dunno you just see people more often collectively and then you’re caught up.
I am getting a lot more writing done otherwise than I was before. But it is hard to be inspired by suburbia. But then not. The Pearl Jam thing I watched on tv last night was pretty awesome likewise the Annie Leibovitz on TVO.
I’m beginning to lose track of the days of the week (though we can also blame the month of Christmas for that). The writer/brand ambassador lifestyle outright encourages it. Here I am sitting in a tin can floating in outerspace. I am probably maybe a little bit Jack Nicholson in the Shining style right now but I’m not perturbed about it because I saw Eddie Vedder go crazy on multi-stages and everybody dancing right along with him and that is how a writer should write just write.
You know what it is I’ve let all my normal comforts craves and necessities just fall away. My camera, busted. It is ingrained in me to document so I relied on my awful phone until it too finally could no longer deliver and my phone, my tweet ADD best friend til the end if I can’t document in photos I can in thoughts but now I can’t do that when I’m lying on the couch watching tv. Guys I have hyper-active crazy genius person thoughts that I have to get out, creative compulsions or I just die of boredom. I also can’t instagram party with anyone. I am excluded. I don’t exist. This is the actual case. In my field you have to multi-platform-surf. I barely blog too didja notice that too so, surf? I’m at the beach bro waving to you from shore.
Blogging is a dying art. I am one of the last of the greats and I am barely keeping the dream alive. Kay no, I am keeping the dream alive if that dream is watch me say kinda funny shit all day long every day for as long as I can until maybe someone hires me to write for them some more then yes, AH ah ah ah stayin alive, stayin’ alive.
Long story short I am finally going to get an iphone because it will be two birds one stoner phone/camera sorted out. What the hell do I even spend my money on anyway (restaurants/booze) what a waste I don’t even buy clothes and I just piss it away so anyway yeah time to get my ass in gear this year and by my 30th birthday I expect to be a tanned svelte skeleton beacon of health and beauty.
My hair needs a treatment too while I’m at it with all the things pissing me off presently.
Oh and I am totally sick again so blog delirium post excuse deux. My mom had this cold too already she said she thought she was hungover but nope, it’s a cold. I said the same exact thing too lol. But boo sick wahh. TGIF.