Luck be a lady, too-night. Her name is Lucky. I also know a Pastel (also real O_O yay). Oh you know, it’s just gonna be me and Lucky and Pastel, hangin’.
And some cleavage on a pear tree! And some pear tree cleavage whatever you get it.
This did not last the night. Why don’t we just throw a bag of Doritos in right and some airport sized bottles of gin, fuck. It’s way too close to the couch. This was a present from the doghouse.
Kept asking Charise if I looked like a wizard and she said no but I think she didn’t get that I wanted to look like one. It’s ok, you will get it right next time.
Messed up the E.
I look like a blob but these are actually like a size 27 I cannot even breathe in them anymore.
Then I got the brilliant idea to put all of my crap on the tree!
Letter from my homies about face, written from a kid who went to camp. Love you dudes! Donate to AF please if you are going to be donatin’ to charities this holiday season.
I found my monster kini in one of several burlesque bags hurrah. Man that thing travels.
Wowzers.
YOM.
#lazerdogcaresaboutfashion
I might make a dominos tumblr for every time I order this. So far, 4 times in the last two weeks. Twice on the same day, and then one day apart. The fourth time was at my dad’s. I am joking, they’d love that, embrace then realize their disastrous mistake. mmm misteak. Oh whatever only bitches cry wolf.
Another I’m sorry present. Fine but we get to listen to all the music that I want to hear and you have to watch everything I want to watch.
You guys were meant for this! These are my designer salt n pepper shakers. One day when I have my dreamhouse I will put salt and pepper in to their respective homes and have someone over for dinner who would BE SO BLOWN AWAY BY THEM.
I need more wedges.
This is so Dynasty. That’s how I live my life anyway, in dusty pastels and couches.
I made a salad!
At first it looked like this!
Mo wizard mo problems.
Behind the scenes shots for pre-tease tweets for the super fans.
I almost wore these shorts on MTV.
See? Dynasty.
Stella is a mommy now too. This came with the Kinder present, it’s tacky and not my style. I have a hate-on for white stuffed animals, ok I am sure there is probably one out there that I’d like a la Hello Kitty but all in all xmas ones? Bears? Tacky and cheap. I gave Stella her “baby” that she chews the hell out of and throws around like a good mother should, she goes nuts and expresses happiness by speed biting on her baby.
I am going for a tan very soon.
I had no face on just base sorry Charise if it was scary talking to me.
Now I have Raymi Winehouse slippers. Oh god. I already just went out in them to let Stella take a wizz that was so housewife of me ew ewe ew. I ALSO HAD A SHOWER TOWEL TURBAN ON MY HEAD.
My hair is very long and I have no face now, I hope that is alright.
Raymilicious,
You are killing it gangsta! Love the heels, love the new tattoo and love love love the outfits. Teacher makes an awesome accessory. ^_^
Happy to see more and more people are loving the awesomeness that is Raymi the Raymbo of Awesome. What what!
Also – Ikea totally rocks – just a bit of a challenge to put that furniture together. Love your rug (lol).
Hugs,
Nebraska Bob
(That’s a shirt inside joke what Amanda bought off me because she wanted to sell my scent and wear my best vintage find and because I am so chivalrous, I gave her the shirt off my back, for hello kitty stuff and $USD ya!)
PS – as a crazy cat lady – love all the pictures of the animals. ^_^
Amanda you made me feel special thank you for writing and sending your sprinkle memo, the cats are like, no big deal, but they are cats so that is expected of them but I know in Lady Garbage’s heart, she has a better life now thanks to my blog and by proxy, me. I think these things should be acknowledged which you did, lemme know what stupid thing you want next that I will take a year to send in the mail.
Pps. Lady Garbage is looking at the Christmas tree right meow and sit/standing quite regally. Oh and we put together another ikea thing last night that’s meant for my tickle trunk upstairs and all my clothes but right now it is behind me and meant for cats to play like wizards in.
Let the Monday Madness begin.
Hailey’s birthday Shopping Spree with Aunt Raymi and Nana. My mom is learning youtube.
Aww my mom and hailey and Journey.
Mom are you shy whisper singing again? Get new cds kthxbai.
Just emailed this to her:
go in to your youtube settings and change the thumbnails of your videos, you have a choice of three otherwise its what it is on the videos of my blog, your retarded face. Or give me your password and I will just do it. This just got me 40 future back and forth emails explaining this all over again like I have time.
The heathered grey Valentine K photographs so flatteringly and I love the pink. Can I trade? Should I?
#champ
#fail
My hat matches the painting. Met Teacher’s other sister last night, she is awesome! Turns out his family has been reading my blog all along, hey guys, Looks like Christmas is gonna be interesting. Prepare for full on Raymi and be careful what you wish for ;). Ps. Meet Paco your new son-in-law!
Love ya lil buddaroonie! Why do I talk like this? Why not?
#So #much #SWAG.
Ahhh.
#DIVATREE2011
Bunny needed a bag for her one teeny shirt (I would have stuffed it in my pocket) but I know she is a student and will use this way more than my monthly burlesque transporting of tickle trunk. We reversed it and I didn’t want to give it away, but I did. I have loads of Nella purses, going to go by and see Tarek soon.
Relax, it’s only textbooks Bunny. Enjoy xo your pal Raymi. She said she is loving it btw.
YUM. I am such a pig right meow. Stress eating. Well since Thursday. What a bender. Baby got me this shade of nail polish top fav rotated colour. I want that shade Jenny and I wore the night we party hartied. I was a bone rack.
Cherry Garcia is smokin’ hot, and alive! Amazing. That’s her nickname. You got Raymified.
I like how skinny elongated 19 year old sex model raymi behind you (by jamie) is posing fierrcely with you too.
I chose the bigger sized ones so it would slouch more and I can belt it, I am an amazon.
I had to put pants (bettie page pin up shorts) on before his sis came by.
I am going to live in it all winter. There’s a pic of me in this with Stella and she has lazer eyes. I will dump my blackberry photos on the webz tomorrow. Something to look forward to!
Ok fucksticks lets do this again. Help me decide PLEASE.
Poster 1.
Poster 2.
Your reward is this this:
I am not even going to watch this. Yes we are blasticated at the Old Mill. Yes this is my mom and godmother and I. Not sorry. Double Birthday Scorpio whammy.
and now I have to figure out which shot I haven’t blogged yet. I shall do that now.
Rehearsal, remember (no judging), this is as much teaser as you’ll get, so lots of dumb talking and brainstorming. These vids ar teaching aides. You’re welcome for sharing and welcome to the creative process. I am PSYCHED for this. I am giggling in the beginning of this uncontrollably cos in the last take I tornado twirl ninja karate chopped the hell out of Bunny. We DIED laughing.
Brb with pixxx. xohoho.
Ps. meanwhile my new fav Valentine K shirt arrived by way of personal hot girl messenger Charise #ballin’ #flossin’. This chick and I got history, elite history, which trumps all gimme-gimme social media bratty jealous expectant competitiveness hand outs, fyi. Charise is my homeboy, and I know I got some hot shots of her on Mystery Cam.
This shirt is cashmere. get used to it cos you’ll be seein’ it lots lol.
The blond hair looks bad, I like my tattoo though. But our burlesque names are too tiny and that font SUCKS too garish not pretty or sexy come-hither enough, way too grinchy (and in my head I think just because I am doing a Mr. Grinch solo does not mean you have to make an entire fucking poster around it) and I dont make stupid gay nerdy puns, jiggles? (jingles) F. North Pole jiggles? Show me anywhere where I said to put THAT on. I said Classic Burlesque Christmas, I don’t see that ANYWHERE.
Stop trying to be creative designy control guy and do what the client asks for and NO MORE THAN THAT. Where is Bovine’s branding too? I think I want the hair to go back to the way it was before but you confused me with vanity by putting my tattoo on her arm so now I am in a bind and ENRAGED by that. Recreate the wheel EXACTLY as I tell you to! Add my blog address too and why is the time so tiny down there? We aren’t hiding that people have to pay door cover. Trying to find Haunted Harem poster to show an example of a GOOD poster. Please add SUNDAY too and don’t make the “pm” floating above the 9 cos it’s confusing.
All in all, I now I have to wait LONGER to start my FB event so THANK YOU for that.
Love Raymeh.
It’s better to be feared than loved apparently haha.
ps. where are my new business cards I have been requesting for 2 months now?
This post is brought to you by Reed Switch, bitch. Lol it rhymes.
Now that I am an adult (child) I am trying to re-wire myself as an eating breakfast (in the afternoon) person and lately I have been riding the brunch train like a good little socialite so thought I’d hit up my BOOM kin, my bredren, that be, and have brunch-proper. They got WIFI now so no more Raymi Whinehouse (but i need to BLOG) complaints. That is a whiner pun not a drunk pun, for once.
Ladies, say it with me now GRILLED TOMATOES in lieu of frites but make sure someone else is nearby who will give you a handful of theirs.
No wait, you can ask for two. Better idea. I am a big fan of the insanely specific and complicated order. …and a side of 3 peas please.
Do you like this do you like this? Yeah that’s what’s going on! Girls eatin’ up in there were like DAYUM at my platforms, ‘spect!
I came from Fraggle Rock to dine with you!
And write on my blob.
Look at how much I enjoy my occupation!
The next time someone compares me to Courtney Love I am going to say that I more so relate to Reese Witherspoon or Gwyneth Paltrow and when they say, “Really?” I’ll say BAHAHHA NO. See my Linda Hamilton pipes? Kelly Ripa Raymi.
Ok thank you colleague, good to know.
Wifi hook-up, firstish thing’s first.
Boom frites are irresistible. I had 4 or 5. They dress them in this metal bowl with rosemary and sea salt and other spices.
And, did you know you can get a 13% (HST/Tax) Raymi discount WHEN YOU PAY AT THE TIL and say I am on Raymi’s D(iscount) List to the cashier. No prob Little Raymis.
Some of the servers hate me I can tell so have my back please thank you hahaha. They think I am a diva. Well, Tony did call me a jewish princess yesterday and sent me a hilarious photo email apologizing for not being there.
I call this the Skinny Minx and it hit the spot mighty fine and I gave a piece of bacon away. I order off menu there. #swag #baller #VIPLEASE. #stalktomebaby Ok I’ll stop now. #meow.
Since yesterday, I have torn off that cut part of the apple leaf Joey gave me this years ago. It makes me look professional, grown-up and someone to be taken seriously.
Heehee EXTREME TIMES! You must experience for yourself to BELIEVE! Get one of those car dealership crazy circus billowing things out front too. What a spokesmodel, right?
Fresh from playschool.
See the Wifi egg? Cute.
This could be a photoshop meme, in a red sports car, Pearl Harbour, massage parlour, etc.
Ok we get it now? Boom now with WIFI! WHY fight it? Have you seen the Menu? It’s full of puns, expansive, cheeky and great, I love it. We sit around naming new dishes, wait, didn’t I name spanish funguy (what colleague ate?) Wow I have early on-set Alzheimers.
Test lighting shot. I want studio lighting, next time no arguments. FLASH ME.
I can wear gladiator wedges with black tights because the toga-ness of the dress unifies the two, get it? Also, I am Raymi the Minx. Word. You may hear that sound byte on MTV with an F-bomb in for good measure. The show airs after Jersey Shore. The private life is offish overskies Lebowski. Ps. I’ve been on MTV before.
Coincidentally they have a screen-grab of joey and I and I saw the same wall of photos just a few days ago in that infamous office. They say it takes ten years to be an overnight success. In my case, eleven.
My makeup is a bit, bleh. I put primer all over my face. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT FOR YOUR INFORMATION. I was born a guy so things like makeup skills I have picked up along the way ie. probably doing it wrong. I want a facial. The G-rated kind (you guys disgust me).
One piece of toast only I said over twitter before I arrived haha. It came cut in half and I said I SAID ONE! and the guy with the name I always forget goes, It’s cut in half. HAhahaa uhhhhhhhh.
Get those eggs I directed.
Eggs everywhere. Very cute. Very my mom.
Triple chin.
I love showcase fridges. It makes me feel like being in a mini-diorama of a, diner?
Colleague is hair jealous.
I could also got for some teeth whitening. What colour is that, beige? The colour of garlic? When it is blue/purplish tinted that means it is local so you should buy it.
For you, Little Raymis, the world.
Looks like I am eating an orange. I am not eating an orange that is the yolk exploding. Will this finally make Marco Pierre White contact me?
Poached eggs are the healthiest eggs you can order cos they boil them. No grill oil, grease or fat. Skinny Raymi tip. If you follow all the stupid things I say you will look like the girl you see in this picture someday. I am an expert life coach.
You have to get toast, because you have to sop that up. Also if you have insomnia, I read that toast at night can help, carbs are brain food. I try to defy toast though and I have proven myself and conquered it. When I did a carbless diet, the first two weeks I had a splitting headache in-between being totally stupid, slow on the uptake and possibly crabby. Your hangovers get worse too because you switch to whiskey from beer and have no base for it anyway and whiskey, everyone knows is much harder than beer. It works but it was hell.
Doing this to my ankle is tempting fate much? Like my dress? Get it from American Apparel yourself and lets go out partying. To kickstart that you can get a FREE (NO CATCH!) $10 Gift Certificate for American Apparel via Fabfind. I got mine, and Little Raymis keep telling me (and thanking) of their coupon collection so awesome for that! Kylie helped me decide to rip off her idea entirely and get these hot tights. I want them in pearl.
Is this poster too much for Boom? I asked Al. Apparently not, according to him. Ha.
What kind of car is this? Mazda Miata, ok good like I thought so, I sent this picture to my Uncle cos he has/had one lol. He’ll be like uh, thanks?
Tomorrow is the weekend, big brunch day, and there will be line-ups down the block so get in early or late. Try to use my name to line-skip. They have booze too if you are desperate or like to keeps it Bukowski. I’ll pick up the tax for you don’t forget and their breakfast special is CHEEP omg I am turning into a boomer, boomers make puns like crazy (right dad?). Love Raymeh. Thanks for brunch Tony! Muah!
Or call the Boomobile for a lift (just joking). Tony and I are in a Playboy race fyi, I want to be a centrefold and he wants his logo to be as iconic as the bunny ears. We’re workin’ on it baby lol!
I do social media consulting on the daily basically and here is an example of one of my subjects, my buddy Rebecca and so far she has done everything I have requested of her to date pending my immediate critiques and suggestions ie. online public banter with me. You are wasting my and your time if you aren’t on twitter. So now she is! She’s been out of the game awhile so I am extra impressed by her. She is just as weird as me. I told her blogging was made for our kind DUH. She skinned SNAKES in the south and survived a garbage truck take down!
