hi guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuise

sorry i’ve been awol i am totally cramping out right now in brad’s office. i decided to ride with fil today to keep him company cos i’ve been so stir crazy sick the past week but now i’m like ugh completely scatter brained from sitting in the car all day doing nothing reading the brutalest book. uhm yeah hi. britt’s here too we’re eating meats from cheese boutique and drinking weeks-old questionable JD and just shared an airplane single serving sized bottle of that white trash iceberg vodka euugh, fil’s shooting a band’s performance right now the roadhammers a ton of country folk are out there partying away and i am being a greasy grinch in here. tina’s dog sophie is blind she’s so cute and keeps walking in here doing a lap sniffing out the steak sandwich the band dudes in the room adjacent ordered i’m like sorry girl wrong room see you in two minutes sigh. oh right we finally caught up on lost so now i can get my fucking life back. payce.

ps. being sick and scalp-sweating my brains out has permanently parted my bangs and lengthened them that’s the update.

wake up

so, yesterday was kinda sad eh.

this notorious (great guy) barfly suffered a massive heart attack just before christmas and on his person was a note to contact the bar if anything should ever happen to him, no family basically, aw. he wanted some of his ashes to be scattered on the floor and the rest of his tab covered the food and drinks for a few hours it was really sweet. i was not expecting to have such an emotional reaction at seeing his old post and that teddy bear he had given to his old waitress (who has rights of his ashes) sitting in his old chair like that and the pictures. god. anyway, it was a bittersweet afternoon and i came away from it with a lesson to us all not to let your life pass you by in a bar, but, if you do, be a bit of a wise-ass about it, and at least make some friends there so then you really don’t die alone? i dunno. i feel like oakville pubs kinda remind me of peter pan, they allow adults to never really grow up in a way, you can always go back to one and see at least ten familiar faces in there is what i mean. kind of a bubble effect that place. it’s comforting and it’s sad at the same time. then that stupid sam roberts song came on I THINK MY LIFE IS PASSING ME BYYYYYY… and i said fil he’s speaking to us from beyond the graaaaaaaaaaaaave ooooooh as i was playing megatouch. i’ve given so many dollars to that machine and a good few years too and allowed myself to let myself go for awhile. so yes indeed, total lesson if you’re going to be a drunk at least have something creative to show for it, like a book detailing all your drunken excursions so kids can idolize you for years to come there’s nothing like the glamorization of things that kill you. ahh hollywood.

RIP burt and cheers you are, and will be missed.

pretty much everyone has done some time behind that bar.

i also finally met binsk, after years of her hiding and ditching she came out. yay hi binsk gimme yer new url i can’t find it.

and this would be the infamous stall after i uh ahem had an ASSident i had to remove my winter boots, pants and underwear (and threw ‘em out) it all went down here. you’re welcome.

i have a crazy appt today ugh, i missed my last one cos it was on the same day as fil’s closing photo show and i messed up the date. i have no idea what to come at this guy with i feel so exhausted like i have nothing left to say (shocking) so maybe we will just sit in silence and have a blinking contest.

my mom was in a car accident on saturday, it’s ok she’s ok but wow yeah, be safe people.

internet dream

this guy is great even though it’s old howevs to be fair to myself i much prefer this jam to that chocolate rain song.

“So every day I swear
I’m gonna go to bed at like eleven.
And all of a sudden its 4AM . . .
And I was just watching Youtube and
reading Wikipedia for five hours.
It’s like MAN . . . you ask me the
next day. I can’t even remember
what I was doin. Crazy.”


I super f-ing dig this song and video.

is that the “old one” in the nicole richie kerchief they keep obscuring the face off and sticking in the back? anyway, see you on the rez at the feather store!

fil just said what are you doing this is 905er music haha um fil we BOTH hail from the 905 remember that? also, you send me lolcats pictures everyday.

i see nothing wrong in apreciating some “top forty” garbage it’s music to drink and dance to sorry djs of the world you ain’t helping the dance floor with your pretentious 7 minute long sigur ros beirut whatever jams, i’ve tried it before no one appreciates accordians when they’re partying. you are not confined to liking one particular genre of music ever, what is this grade six NIRVANA RULES! RAP SUCKS? i feel like we’ve evolved a ton since then so stop jamming this pretentious sh-t down my throat. thanks love you bye.

also, this stuff gives me a serotonin rush, i have plenty and plenty of sad “acceptable cool” music to be emo by on reserve when the time calls for it plus i’m a girl, duh, and when i see a video like this all i think about is dancing to this song with other girls and trying to recreate these shitty simple moves. sorry for liking good times.

people who like music because they feel like they are supposed to like it (see: rotate this recommends wall or vice reviews page, stereogum whathaveyou) are really infuriating, is that indie record store your girlfriend too? what an expensive and clichéd existence and then you put on this new EP (that took you MONTHS to track down and you paid pounds for it) for a few friends and one slags it and you get in a fight, awesome saturday nite thanks guys this was a gas. if you prefer to stand music snobby against the wall all smug clutching your pixies (hi matt) LPs watching the tail go right on by, be my guest but until you GET that it’s ok to like music your cousin in ajax has access to you’re going to die alone or end up dating a chick who thinks she’s tank girl. ew.

i’m not saying all music snobs are like this so chill, i just don’t see the value in worshiping multiple acts like why not go fly a kite instead, seriously and no offense.

Matthew: see i take issues with that viewpoint

me: well read the whole post
and im not being completely serious so chillereeno
i can unrefernce you
and the pixies

Matthew: hahahaha don’t worry about it

me: k back

Matthew: the way I see it, the thing is there are people that are really into music and are nerds, people who are kinda into music and people who just passively listen to it. I am definitely a music nerd and the problem is that there are music nerds that use the music they are into as some measure of coolness. They ruin it for us other music nerds because they’re snobby and they look down on people who “just don’t get it” the fact is I constantly search out music to listen to because i love that feeling of an epiphany when you hear something brilliant. It’s almost like a drug and I am most definitely addicted. The people that aren’t addicted don’t see the big deal of course and because a lot of the people who are like that are snooty to them they of course get offended and think that everyone who is a music nerd is a pretentious douche bag

me: well ive always felt elitist and above music in a way like who cares i see the drug and i say no thanks id rather actually DO drugs
id rather be a star than give all my money to them
i appreciate classics
and i appreciate the newcomers who become big too
but then there is someone who says oh i saw them first or heard of them first
like this is a contest?
sorry i was too busy being cool i missed the boat by a few months

Matthew: but that’s the thing, it’s just different for you. You don’t care. I’m basically like a nerd who plays warcraft all day, brb showering

me: ps you don’t know how to spell epiphany i changed that for you

also annoying, people who TALK about music constantly to let us know that it is the most important thing in the world to them ughhhhhhh we KNOW why not follow that up with telling me your dreams please, equally interesting. news flash NO ONE CARES. congratulations on achieving the opposite of what you set out to convince me of, that being you seeming cool, cos there’s nothing cooler than music defines my personality like the guy who walks around with a lizard around his neck, it just reeks of insecurity i am totally tuning you out.

Matthew: I avoid talking music with people who aren’t like me. The thing about hearing something first is that in the context it sounds pretentious but it’s not meant to be. Imagine you told me I went to disneyworld last week and I said oh cool I went there 2 years ago too. no big deal right? But, you say oh I just heard this great band and I say oh sweet, I saw them 2 years. I’m just engaging in conversation and don’t mean to say oh I’m cooler than you

me: comparing disneyworld to music snobs is quite accurate cos it is pretty childish
it’s like an acceptance race that never ends
you never feel satisfied
and then your apartment burns down and there goes all your precious work
you need to find other things
is all
and not YOU you

Matthew: The unfortunate thing is that for some stupid reason coolness got tied to music you listen to. Because of the music I listen to I’m automatically branded a hipster just because these stupid insecure fucks that were losers in highschool use it to show how above they are the ‘normal people’ I pray for the day when indie rock returns back to the 80s when people buying shit from salvation army because they were truly poor instead of trying to look cool. Check out a few indie rock legends and their sense of style:

me: see how this turned into defending “cool” music when all i wanted to defend was slutty pedestrian tunes

Matthew: pixies:

me: thats pretty much how you dress

Matthew: hahaha sebadoh:

me: yes all of these looks are in ps my ex is friends with sebadoh

Matthew: cool!

me: HA
all you have to do to pick up guys in this city is say SEB A DOOOOOH
so easy

Matthew: hahahahahaha
so true
i remember this one girl in highschool who liked sebadoh

me: GAY
picking up indie dudes 101 subscriber

Matthew: very very few girls really like sebadoh
sebadoh is like jewel or some shit for boys

me: ugh

Matthew: it’s sappy

me: why dont you shoot a personalized video of yourself using a montage of holga shots to a belle and sebastian song while you’re at it

Matthew: what are holga shots?

me: you dont know holga!
and youre a 1 hipster 2 photographer

Matthew: dang, I guess I’m not as cool as I thought. Please don’t post this on your blog as no one will think I’m cool anymore
oh yeah I saw these things at like urban outfitters or some shit

me: haha yeah
everything turns up there

Matthew: hahaha

me: i love having cool mass produced and sold back to me at UO
so then i KNOW for sure it is cool