i finished reading jesus land a memoir on sunday, it is a great read. i sat in the tub bawling when i was done. turns out the author julia scheeres has a blog. jesus land is a very frustrating read, everyone is a christian lunatic and the ones who aren’t are extremely racist pieces of shit. discovering her site after reading the book is amazing cos there’s family pictures and a whole bunch of other shit to go through. basically it’s about julia growing up white with two adopted black brothers their mother is a christian psycho and the dad is never around they live in rural indiana and everyone in town and school is racist and inevitably they are sent away to the dominican to a christian reform school, pretty much every character they encounter along the way you want to fucking murder. read it. don’t go through the pictures though well go through some but don’t go through the ones near the end it will spoil it.

Ryan: you should start a rent a friend business

me: how do i do that

Ryan: i bet a lot of urban jerks would love to have a posse for a night
um start a webpage ,torontorentafriendservice.ca

me: u mean just hang out for work

Ryan: i think so
well there are randomer ways of making money

me: it wouldnt work i cant even get my real friends to hang out with me how would i get strangers to pay me to hang out with them?

Ryan: sucker them
see i think you’re cool, from reading your blog that’s the impression
i suppose you’re as uncool as anyone but that’s beside the point

me: i am neurotic and annoying
annoying people are well annoying
so i get it

Ryan: ok well there should be a network

me: it is lonely at the top

Ryan: if someone wants a neurotic annoying person then they choose you
for like a night when their real friends ditch them or they want to make an ex jealous

me: well i am more things than just annoying
like sweet but i get obnoxious if you are boring me

Ryan: yeah you could sit there and look pretty

me: and then people think i am wasted
but im not

Ryan: oh is THAT it
you’re good-lookin’.
i’d say…a handsome female.

me: oh yeah and im very good looking thats a big factor peple dont want to hang with me cos i am so good looking they feel like trolls

Ryan: other people are good-looking too
is it all in yr head that people don’t want to hang with you?
i mean you’re enthusiastic about drinking so what else is there.

me: dude i dont know im totally fucking joking right now
people cant handle my truth?
i am too transient i guess
i dont know people just do their own thing

Ryan: how do you start to accumulate hits, i’m starting a new blog with a friend.

me: uh i dont want to talk about that shit
if you dont know how then you are stupid and it will never happen

Ryan: i like yr idea of suckering people into reading anything you could spin off


Ryan: i know how but is there a shortcut

me: porn is the shortcut

Ryan: hahah ok check.
wouldn’t that be rude though
to show a dick
i would feel slighted to accidentally see a dick wouldn’t you

me: not you porn naked bitches porn

my asian implants

when buzznet is finished its shit nap i will post a video of the boobs inflating it is magical science.

oh also in case you are bored and feeling reminiscent i made you a flickr set of all my art here you are welcome.

AND today i looked up two words on dictionary.com that can be found in today’s post/s somewhere, if you can accurately guess which words they are i will mail you a postcard. ps. i spelled the words correctly when i checked just so you know.

i’ve been having some pretty amazing bowel movements lately it is quite nice, deprive yourself a bit of food, keep your caffeine intake the same and it is like proo pooo fooo ooooh ahhhh AHHHH! my metabolism is awesome right now.

yesterday i bought a pair of men’s winter boots they are very nerdy but i am bringing that back and not the annoying ironic hipster nerdy either, no i don’t mean that i mean the deck shoes doesn’t stop talking or following you around at your cousin’s housewarming party nerdy DON’T COPY ME.

we drove to acton it is not worth the drive i’m sorry i would rather shoot myself i mean i am all about little places but there is always some sort of modernity that seeps in and ruins the whole equation like some douche walking to the variety store wearing a 49ers starter jacket ungh. if i was going to live in a small hidden town my life would have to be 100% like fried green tomatoes, yes i would have to live in a movie.

we drove past a lady walking by herself and she had a bloody nose and blood was all over her tissue. she looked kind of badass. kidding. then we went to a conservation area to see the snow owls (ha i just wrote coversation area, i would go to one of those except i am already IN a conversation area everywhere i go anyway there is no point in driving to one) and also fil did donuts in the parking lot cos no other cars were there and a crabby lady looked on at us through the window of the visitor’s building where you are suppose to pay but we didn’t. i made a video of it i will post it soon.

i said to fil before pulling onto our street that i liked watching people’s bicycle tires when they are riding them and watching the wheel reflectors until they match up and spin at the same time he thinks i have aspergers yeah um duh.

ps. i let him keep the 20 dollars for “being nice to me” but i was very close to taking it back, he did many things that were not nice but out of all the sundays he was nicer yesterday than the others.

blog party this wednesday at supermarket!

Hi Raymi,

Not sure if you’re interested in this but we’re holding an exclusive preview of blogTV.ca at Supermarket on Wed. Jan. 31, and we thought you might want to check it out. We’re inviting a broad range of bloggers – from performance artists to “techies” – so the crowd should be interesting. Let me know if you can make it – and feel free to bring friends as well.

fil will be out of town, who wants to be my date?

these works and more go see them at magic pony for yourself, it’s fun.

me: did u see how i am wanted for another music video

Phil: yes where is it shooting?

me: dunno
cos i am cool and relevant?

Phil: why don’t you just dump me now and find someone who is cool enough
i am sick of not being cool
fuck it
i will be anticool
oh wait
i already am

me: aw baby
i love you
stop punching yourself

Phil: i am punching myself cool

me: HAHA
good luck

some crazy bitch is posing as me on myspace!!!!!!! go tell her off please.

ok im dealing with it i have to take a picture of myself and bla bla here is how i found out about it

I’m not some weirdo, but you may want to report this girl. She’s using your pictures.
Body: http://www.myspace.com/jennawantsyourass

She said she was from my town and a lot of my guy friends were like going crazy… But no one had hung out with her. Saw the painting and at the bottom it said “Raymi”. So I searched Raymi in the search feature of myspace and found you. :)
Just thought you should know.
Have a good one.

she has pictures of my niece of cid and of my fucking food taken from my blog even a picture of green room of my art of fil of sarah of matt good saying they are siblings! holy fucking loser.

Subject: CBC News: The Hour

Hey Raymi, Interested in having a four minute piece done about you and your blog for The Hour? If so call me or reply with contact info thanks.
If not, no worries, a jealous friend who blogs sent me a hater email
about your site but I really enjoyed it, especially your strombo
r. m.

HAHAHAHAHHAH yes burn on whoever who emailed my blog FUCKING SUCKER!

The mother of all embarrassing bodily trumpet music

Dear Raymi Thank you so very much for writing that piece.

For me, it happened last night. My boyfriend didn’t care but I’ve never even just farted around him, so farting with my vagina seemed even more embarrassing. After he and I read this, I feel more at ease and he still really doesn’t care.

So again, thank you =)


we went to lfk it was alright a bit dead upstairs a bit loud according to fil but he is old i think it would be a good place for a nerd blog party cos there are already a bunch of nerd try-hards there dressed in their finest I LIKE TO PARTY outfits to distract from their overall insecurities and lameness.

the highlight of the nite was giving the finger to this girl’s throw-away camera behind her and her two poseur friends fil was all WHO ARE YOU FLIPPING OFF i said dude they won’t know until they develop the film i’m a coward like that.

the second highlight of the nite was ripping out all my fingernails under the table. the vanilla ice movie was on. jeff stopped in for a couple drinks he was supposed to bring strombo with him but feh i asked if he drinks jeff said no i said well then why the hell do i want to hang out with him? oh right, fame mooching. speaking of that, look out ron sparks fans. in other news, k-os has dumped me and moved on it was good while it lasted?

i paid fil 20 dollars to not be a dick today, an OLD $20 bill at that, and if he does any dickitude today at all when we get home i am taking it back. so far he has corrected me a hundred thousand times and done other annoying things like right now he is tickling my head with one of cid’s whiskers he found. sigh.

i want to go to payless today to find some good old dyke truck driver winter boots nothing fancy. i had a nice pair that got losted somewhere, probably left them in maine. i am wearing them in this picture:


pancaketuesday has a new video it’s called TOKYO MOM. it’s sweet.