i woke up with weed hair. do you know what weed hair is?

it’s when you go to sleep stoned and/or drunk so i guess there is also drunk hair anyway weed hair is more fucked than drunk hair because when you are falling asleep high you have no capacity whatsoever of resting your head in a position that doesn’t make your hair stick to your forehead and get tangly and then you try to make it nice and flat, fanning out across the pillow but then you are like oh yeah i’m baked and have to fidget 10000 times more and then you pass out and wake up with weed hair.

i’m glad i don’t smoke weed too often anymore. anyway i’m not washing my hair today cos i want to maintain its shittyness.

love raymi

ok everyone nevermind we are cancelling dodgeball not enough people have said they will for sure be there and we don’t feel we should bother bringing all this shit to the park and then on top of that the weather will likely be crap so we are going to a ball game if you want to join in we’ll be around third base go get a cheap ticket and heckle with us

karaoke is still on tho

tony and i ran into the most irritating dude last nite. he shows up just after midnite to the torontoist party to take pictures of the bands and the bar is closed and the bands are packing up he says to us HEY ARE ANY OF YOU IN ANY OF THE BANDS i’m like YES so he goes on about how he thought he had time to make it out bla bla makes a point to mention that he is an ARTIST a few times i’m thinking if YOU are an artist then I am a doctor. anyway he takes pictures of us and some other people and then i asked if he had weed and he did and one was rolled ready to go so i use the can dude’s gone me and tony go out to figure out what next and there is THE ARTIST doing something to a/his bike and he walks up to us and i’m like yeah so about that joint? and he totally forgot all about it also his cellphone is RINGING a lot so we are walking to green room for a drink and smoking on the way there and the guy is acting like he just saved our lives for giving us a few hits and says do you mind getting me a drink then and i said yes just so we could hang longer so i could have more dirt on him.

we sit he gets a beer with a glass he tells the waitress cos artists are classy people too anyway phone rings three more times by this point we are certain that he’s a dealer and the guy is saying in his fone yeah ill be there in ten minutes yeah ill be there in five minutes and he chugs the beer leaving a lot of it sayin that if we get thirsty we can have it hey thanks pal can i really drink the beer i just paid for?

anyway he mentioned two more times he was AN ARTIST and i said what is your art exactly and he says I WORK WITH LIGHT and he enunciated LIGHT for me like i am a huge retard and don’t know what it is. i took his picture of course because I am an ARTIST too and I work with LIGHT also it’s called a FLASH on my CAMERA you loser.

i said to tony that i was glad that i didn’t get all drunk generous or anything and tony pointed out that i gave him my torontoist pin AND later when i wanted a smoke before getting in a cab i noticed that THE ARTIST took my fucking lighter.

fucking artists.

oh and while smoking on the street before getting in a cab guess who should stroll up but my homeless crackhead friend who punched me after i kicked him after he called me a lying cunt after i said sorry for not having money to give him SWOOOON.

lindsay lohan punk’d

lindsay lohan doing stuff

lindsay lohan parent trap screen test

Hi Raymi,

This is fanmail. Seriously, I am in love with you. I have been in love with you for like a year. It’s like, I’ll be at work, or late late home from the bar, and I think, hmmm, wonder what raymi is doing, maybe I will go check and see. And, darling, you never disappoint.

I was first referred to your blog through a friend who is a Toronto writer – and also a big fan. I used to live in Toronto but now I live in Amsterdam so it’s wicked awesome getting all the Canadiana from your blog.

Bye dear,

Laura

oh and did anyone notice that yesterday i was on a WELP roll? fil pointed it out asking what is welp and i said it is well but more casual like hey we’re just a coupla regular guys wearing sweaters on my wraps-around-the-house porch and yeah like that anyway fil is like 6 years on your blog and no welp and today(yesterday)TWO WELPs.

crazy i know.

baby moving inside belly

holy aliens much?

oh here is the e-card i sent fil at work yesterday cos i am a romantic which is made evident by the music that goes along with it.

and now i bring you mastertrashed theatre

after this radular photo was taken mr. santa claus had to stop his guitar ballad to shake pitt’s hand and hug and kiss him. not lying.

that’s right, i’m bringing back the caption.

is yellow teeth an irish thing? that kid’s hair sucks.

YES i see you sheep dog curly barf hair kid

nice pretending to be thinking pitt.

uh hi the clothing store called, they’re running out of stripes?

I LOVE YOU FIL NO I LOVE YOOOOU PITT NO I LOVE YOU FIL! I LOVE YOU MORE! NO I LOVE YOU MORE!!! NOPE I LOVE YOU !!!MORE!!!11! NO I LOVE…

ok fine we love eachother EQUALLY….except i love you just a little bit more.

fil please tell me the secret behind being able to suck your nose into your face

salut pitt ou eh my baguette?

everyone look at me screw that guy like whatever you come out to the dome every home game since the beginning of baseball nevermind that EVERYONE LOOK AT ME

SERIOUSLY i have a blog do YOU have a blog? no? so shut up and another thing…

pitt looks like that guy at your party who is just really annoying and smiles a lot and people avoid him cos he is a total gasbag who goes on and on and on and ON and you have to tell your wife before the party that if she sees you talking to him she has to save you otherwise you are dumping her forever

nice pixelation relish motif what are you computer static? funny? anyone?

good thing i ruined a perfectly good picture by BEING IN IT good thing also my face turns mongoloid after a few beers and shots of red wine

my hair is pretty.

wasted

so hot