oh yeah something else i said that was awesome yesterday at the trying to be posh bar/eatery that has replaced the regular drunken dive pub – the new owners are taking socializing with the clientele way too seriously and this one lady in particular was just brutal and so we were analyzing her every move and thing that she said and she was wearing this long white pea jacket and i said YA man who is she, the scientist of the restaurant? too bad a) no one was listening to me when i said that and therefore b) nobody laughed at the funniest remark in the universe made by ME!

then i saw a somewhat distinguished old man with a little chapeau on unashamedly spit on the sidewalk right in front of aimee and i and he kept right on walking.

maybe i should call the local newspaper about that one?

ok upon impulsive self haircut job i now look like an after school special teenager/made for tv movie star.

because i have the mentality of an eight year old and think that everyone cares about the same things i care about i will have you know that survivor is on TONITE!

now i am going to cut my hair diagonally.

for some reason i thought those bloomer-style underwears were the shit as in dead-sexy and cute. that was back when life was like, trash-city.

anyway, last nite i didn’t make it ’til dave chapelle, i fell asleep on fil and he got up to go to bed and then called me over and i was in a sitting up position with my arms folded into my body like an old man or a troll.

and then i dreamed about the big bottle of apple juice that fil bought, oh excitement! we had gone to the company and were complaining about the size of the bottle. (one of those bulk-size ones that housewives buy for their 7 children) i said bitch it’s like holding a mountain to my face and trying not to spill it all over myself. i was demanding several smaller bottles.

then i dreamt of other crap involving violence and floating and candy, i dunno.

we recorded at band practise last nite. can’t wait to hear how stupid and warbly i sound.

my comeback of the evening is as follows:

“oh, did you drink a cup of smart-ass on your way over?”

i am the best. me!

i just wasted several minutes going through my archives and it has inspired me to cut my bangs shorter, to never get fat and to never have a lesbo short haircut and to also maybe do something more with my time, like, crochet stuffed animals and donate them to the red cross or maybe learn a valuable trade.

last nite was very jackass.

i got shot in the ass with an industrial airgun. fun, i know! i have a welt too. fil got shot in the face with an oily rag. he was wearing a face protector visor whatever though. we were shooting pyramids of beer cans in martin’s shop and then exploding those bullets and adding hot glue to nails and screws and making spears out of metal rods.

being safe is boring.

i wasn’t expecting being shot to hurt though, i thought martin was making a dinky little tape ball but no it was dried glue in the shape of a bullet with duct tape on it and here i am standing there feeling all heroic and brave and then UUUUUUUUUUNGGHGHGH AHHHHAHHH my fucking ass! it hurt so much i felt like vomitting.

i just got a major out of nowhere urge to eat a huge hamburger.

you know one of those greasy ones from some ghetto mom ‘n pop diner? ya one of those.

and i never have hamburger cravings, not until i am out at a restaurant and i end up ordering the special that is usually unrewarding and then whoever i am with orders the burger and i won’t shut up until i am granted a bite out of it and then three more bites after that and then i promise myself that the next time i will order a burger and i never do.

if i don’t eat a burger right now i will cut off all of my hair!

the shining was on last nite. i think i mentioned to fil that i use to have hair like that danny kid at least twenty times.

yesterday during a coffee and sandwich break we were lucky to witness an 8th grade date and it was so awkward and depressing and lacking of fun i wanted to go over there and offer them some drugs. not that i would actually do that, you know, of course not, still, something made me want to help enhance their saturday coffeeshop get together.

at least if they smoked cigarettes they could run off and do that together and that could be their whole day right there.

these kids were actually polite. not even swearing.

however, they were hating on all the rich kids they go to school with and then the girl said she couldn’t wait for summer so she could go camping and the boy straight ‘dissed her by saying that would be too rustic for him.

he was a tiny little puke anyhow and she was already growing breasts and should have been sneaking away with some boy two years older.

i’m going to be a good mom.