elaborate stupid things

Adding the title of this blog post to the resume of my life as I have dedicated much of it to exactly that and I am still standing bruh. Now here’s some things from said life. Hold on tight y’allready made it through the cold open. Don’t get me started on comedy. Every sentence that comes out of my mouth is either a punchline or preamble to something (I find) hilarious. I am getting better. The key is to remember your material.

Mom stayed with us for a week and we all survived. Hey man I ain’t saying I am innocent either just saying is all. This is from Canada Day. We went to Woodbine beach after for the free concert and shenanigans in the beer garden with our roommate plus mom oh it was a time. Living in the beaches is ridonkulous. I will look back on this summer and cry whistfully into the wind. As much as I dig moving forward if I look back at all the amazing shit I have done in my life too much stacked together without enjoying those moments. When I look at skyporn cloud pictures from kew beach over winter I will explode. I will just explode.

Sushi/sashimi the other night. They forgot a roll we were like yes we want it. We ordered pizza later on at night cos we were still fung lol.

Canada Day. What’s in the baaaaag man.

Did your head explode? Good. This is Fella. We are bonding now. The little fart has my heart.

Taking him to the vet was a trip. A sweaty, eating my hair while my shorts were falling down and walking in the wrong direction of where the vet is -trip.

My face has been breaking out because I am aging backward in time. You have to have popeye’s at least once in your lifetime right. With gravy and biscuits, dirty rice and macaroni ahh gad the shame the delicious shame.

Starting the ol diet off with a bang. No more deep fried foods diet lol.

We walk as much as I try and force us to. We are living in paradise FOMO BRO. Thank God we don’t Pokemon Go. Not to be a hater but we have enough things in our life.

This guy had this house built on kew gardens property for his homegirl when they got married to keep her close and happy. Lucky chick. I read the plaque while drunken lawnbowler preps sauntered by me, rejected from the steamwhistle short bus (it was full). Could tell they were embarrassed because it happened right in front of me. One calls out, “claaaaassic” both in ivy league sweaters tied around their shoulders. I fucking love the beach for reasons exactly like this. So I sped up to walk ahead and let them bro it out alone up to Queen and a patio to continue getting blasticated but then they caught up to me reading this plaque. I must have read that plaque 4 times before I was able to retain any of the information written on it. Then another prep threesome walked by I could feel their eyes all over me. So much awkward loud silence like, I should have been HEY LEMME READ THIS TO Y’ALL AS YOU WALK UP THE STREET NOW. My problem is I size people up too quickly and then, I hate them. I had seen the gf ignoring the bf while on her phone and snapchatting her drunken mother riding around in circles on their bicycle. The bf had seen me note ALL of this. So in my head we had this, again, awkward knowing secret together. I bumped into them one more time as they headed into a bar when I noticed they were all wearing identical khaki pants and white buttoned shirts. Themewear for the lawn bowling club’s rager. Aren’t you glad I share things?

I really do love it here. It’s calm. Fabulously. I read alone on the beach. Not for long. I am too hyper and ADD but the whole process of packing a backpack, hitting some shops then reading til it’s dark while I get eaten to death by mosquitos forces me to slow down. It clears my head. I get lonely but I like it. To a point.

Julian Bachlow has been getting a lot of acting gigs lately it’s impressive. Some days are long shoots so we don’t see each other as much. Gives me time to reflect and to miss him.

Love this little nook we happened upon one day. It changes too. New things appear or leave.

Very The Friendly Giant.

Went to Fat Bastard burrito Saturday night. Everywhere we go it’s like performance art lol.

I know why it’s called fat bastard burrito though. Get a small. It’s gigantic. I ate it again on Sunday.

I had the butter chicken. Phenom. With noodles. It blew my mind.

Before we hit the road selfie.

Feeling this Beck jam big rn btw.

What should we call our variety show?

We watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High the other night. It is still amazebaaaalls. Sorry to bring amazeballs back. It’s crazy the cameos in it.

Super beached out af like it’s raining desperate.

My nails are naked rn about to paint them after this post or keep them natch. We will see.

What happened in Nice today…I feel like a dick writing this post. I began this post earlier then we went out in our “super ultra safe neighbourhood” and came home to the news. I kept running out to the porch to tell everyone because I am a disaster junky like that but also I have been desperate to write a blog post for days and keep getting sidetracked and this is like putting my foot down I AM DOING THIS and I am writing this fuck sake. It just feels like it’s raining bad shit all around us so I like to appreciate what I have and those I love. Cut the shit and get on with it.

I made him this bacon bagel sandwich with lettuce from the garden and tomato. It was out of control excellent.

Little pug pug made it to the big times. Everyone died when they saw him at the vet now I know why dog people like being dog people because they get to feel like the popular girl ALL the time it was like Jesus ENOUGH jk we love it I have stories of dog beach adventures man let me tell you life is good sometimes.

Have to get into my fancier gear once in awhile to remember that I still do that sometimes.

Someone is babysitting him for a few days this picture just tore my heart to shreds.

If this bridge could talk. Took Julian on a tour of my old hood. It feels like you know my life because everything that has ever happened to me in this park comes flooding back.. but how could you know. Anyway it was a trip. It was like I was just there yesterday. We off-roaded it into the jungle and my legs are all scratched up for it. Julian loved it… mom not so much. It has overgrown a lot in a decade and then some haha.

It was a tour of Lauren. I brought them to a cemetery in Streetsville. A friend of mine is buried here. We made friends with this cat who fell in love with us and followed us out of the cemetery and then my heart broke some more. I had a doctor’s appt in ‘sauga is why we were all there togeths.

I can’t wait to find my belt.

I can tell you a lot of stories about the Credit River. Involving me and/or others, the police, bush parties, fires, river walking, setting shit on fire, sneaking out at night. Forest sex. Crazy bananas things. What is this our Texas? Well, for a time maybe so, maybe so.

Falconer Drive is totes diffskies now. Shit of legend. Curfews at night lol.

Kay back to Toronto now. La la land. I see things you would not believe there is even a beaches mascot now, a dog, a guy in a dog mascot costume. Brilliant.

And this!

Losing steam here now people. Yeah it’s snack time.

All about dat neon tho.

I made a new friend one afternoon. We laughed and shared the best stories, totally vibed and took each other on a social adventure I could feel Don’s happiness as he told me about his grandmother, who championed him when he smiled on the inside and outside as he spoke. He blew my mind with some real talk perhaps too controversial for my blog but when he left he said he really enjoyed talking to me. I wished Julian was there to meet him.

Hahah what’s with all the emo pictures I will try to switch it up guys swear.

Your life is a piece of work and yes it’s work but it’s a piece of artwork so design it how you like share it how you want tell it how you feel make it magic make it real.

If you venture into this dog park you can pretend you are on another planet if you wanted to a little Jurrasic park here and The Martian there, nah bruh?

I watched the storm roll in wondering if it was a storm. Rolling in. Baha. Then I ran home in the lightning scared out of my mind. Lightning storms um nope. All the rain storms lately are cool it’s SO HOT the planet is like “time to explode into rain mawfuck burst inna rain son!”

I look like a bohemian slob most days so the one or two days I make effort I do the selfie thing so these are my faux apologies.

Sleeping on our new mattress on the floor has been FUN/NY. Okay I will tell ONE embarrassing story. Not really embarrassing at all but like, we were drunkies after sushi and needed more food so ordered pizza but we were rolling around on this frigging thing and like basically already on the floor..and drunk with the giggles. We laugh at our bullshit a lot at least. Wow cool story, nice and short.

Beginning of the mural. Maybe I will tackle it tomorrow.

Doing starry night has made me keen on researching Van Gogh. Quite the guy.

Oh look. MORE pictures of me. LOL.

Tash and I hit up Brass Vixens last week as well. Going for another class real soon. Love it.

Went to the Drive-in. A summer bucket list must! okay guys time to irl so ttyl xo rlw!

Ps. enjoy our soulful rap hook btw!

Elusively aloof

Hey gang, ready for one of those things that I do here? Good me too. Lets get it over with. None of this is in order, rhyme, or reason. I’m managing several projects as usual and this is just a dump post of IG images plus some extras. I go crazy if I don’t blog here and my life (in pictures) accumulates.

*Psst: I started writing this yesterday (Sunday) fyi.

Tuesday went to Southern Accents (aka Southern Comfort lol easy mistake) after Guu now called kinka izakaya. Tuesday was a funny day I had a couple appts, hit the mall to do a long-standing chore then met up with another new colleague. Hey whatever I dont need to explain myself to you people!

Life is about balance. I am also addicted to “going out”. That balance I speak of.. the other half of my life is spent sitting in front of my laptop working so “lay off me”.

Errrm. If you go into a library you’re gonna read a book and if you see a bottle of absinthe you’re gonna have a sip. It was the perfect storm and I totally nursed it like a lady.

I ventured out dressed in gonna speed-walk home gear so felt like a desperate housewife eating at Kinka Izakaya just a little. I made it work.

I have misplaced my Detroit Tigers hat. Whoever has it, Give it baaaaaaack.

On Earth Day last weekend I was feeling a little cooped up and so guess what I did haha. I painted the down just a bit. Birthday month kinda thing.

Double-header blog gig day a couple weeks ago one job being with Toughroof, flat roof repair. Went out to the jobsite pretty under-dressed for it which resulted in another cold a few days later that is still in my throat. I have a kennel cough.

This view never gets old and largely is why I stuck around here so long haha.

When my hair is unwashed it goes more red. I am trying to stretch out salon visits in between colourings rn. When I wash it all the blond pops out again. My roots make it so I have to do that model-hair flip thing. Hair hair hair etc.

Happy I finally got the right size bracelet for my teensy wrist. Aside from my nose, all my other features are small like hands, ankles, boobs, wrists. The more ya know. Actually while on the topic, my boobs are not that small they are deceptively small in appearance but are actually quite the scoops. It’s my platform and I’ll declare whatever the hell I please here on it. I wonder how addicted to charms collecting I’ll become.

Adore this place. Don’t ever leave or change.

Sometimes you just need some spicy octopus. This cleared my brain right out. I took a bite and got back to yammering then all of a sudden I felt like I was going to sneeze and my eyes watered right up. I find that if you senselessly flap at your mouth and at the air like an idiot for a bit the heat will subside and you’re left with a nice little buzz and your co-eater is like, you ok bruh? While tears and snot streams down your face, “I’m fine.”

Turns out eating and drinking lots gets you fat. What? The zipper on these bit the dust. You have to wear them on a skinny day. With spanx. Anyway, I stopped ordering pizza for a few weeks and have slimmed down finally. I am exercising too. I want to be toned. I have a vision. No more farting around.

Dream come true. Everyone loves my DJ name Babysitting Money. “My DJ name”. I am Raymazing. Remember when I used to have joie de vivre and say things like that? I must have been kicked in the head by a mule, or by bitches. Too many bitches, so little time. So many distractions. Y’all don’t even know. The object of the game is to keep it that way. I am well blessed in accruing lots of great mentors and cool people, peers and colleagues along the way. I love collecting good people who are good to me and believe in me. Tired of people hating me for breathing.

We thought the event went at 7. It started at 5. I was late. Showed up to a swarm of nerds. My big coat and I trying to make our way through the crowd I was having a mega-anxiety attack. I needed a drink stat. I am not a .ca member, I only own .coms so I had the white lanyard aka a loser. No open bar for me! No biggie I was the star of the party and had all my new friends and future colleagues getting me dranks through the night. You need to rsvp for next year. Don’t wear a turtleneck though. I was dying. My jokes were on fire though.

I wanted this but I was in a stingy bitch mood. I still want it though, it was a little big. Distressed clothing is the best I have their contact I’ll nag them for stuff. A shirt like this would have seen me through summer.

Canada was not cool enough to be represented in fashion. That’s cool we good.

One of my bigger life regrets is not buying a tartan plaid mini blazer that I tried on at a clothing sale in bar in Ottawa. I have pics in it I’ll show ya. Ugh. I haggled and the girl would not budge the longer she looked at me in it cos she knew I needed that blazer it was made for me. I did not want to lose so I did not buy it. REGRETS.

Was not expecting to go here but it’s just around the corner from Kinka so why not. I like escapism bars. If you never leave the fucking city you kinda have to.

We had such a blast we stuck around for trivia and then it got ugly. Hella competitive. Okay not ugly but they wouldn’t let you even touch your phone and sometimes you need to reference stuff (not cheat!) or follow whomever you’re talking to on IG and then all of a sudden you’re getting yelled at for being on your phone in front of the entire room. Plus you’re drunk. I was just like FINE. We had too many people at our table and at first were split into two teams and we were mean af to each other then got nice when we just banded together so whatever it’s just one over the limit why not merge teams but not before one of us said Duluth instead of Buffalo. Rowdy is fun though I love talking trash as I’m sure you’ve noticed.

When you’re not feeling your body, going out is a chore. Especially if you are a last minute outfit planner like me but it worked out I think. I’ll be gross and unshowered-ish for days then shower and feel like a beauty queen and take a bunch of pics then kind of hide for the rest of the week in my jogging pants.

A gf said this is one of my high fashion looks. The socks and the shoes like that. She just has a Melanie Griffith in Working Girl (those pumps and socks!) boner, so I am a little skeptical. I do notice a lot of women flicking their eyes down at me when we pass in an, oh that’s an idea kind of way. I know when things look trendy. I am not an idiot. Okay well I am but not in that capacity. I could be a legit stylist if I got my shit together. The more I brag about myself the longer this takes.

Hey again. I have a lot of these.

Club 54 disco inferno dress.

Earth day. Unexpected fun! Makes you feel like you saved the Earth a little. I bet in the future it’ll be mandatory to do it once a week for an hour and then more and more as we deplete the Earth of its renewable resources.

I bet these billboards were all lit though.

During bed to couch rotation I get to see the most spectacular ways of the sky over the city. It takes my breath away or would if I were properly awake. Then I go back to sleep for awhile.

RIP Rob Ford. You will be missed. It’s been interesting seeing the pitchforks come out and kind of disappointing. People love when villains die.

Winter hair. Wild animal. Can’t wait til it’s monstrously gigantic.

A Kir Royale. Loved our bartender this night. I have memories sitting at this bar. Kind of got a chill. I was so much younger. Felt like a kick in the pants.

Shotgun houses.

Lots of memories down here in the bunker of the Drake.

My celeb mogul besties list gets longer. My friend Dave knows Jelleestone (J!) and we recently became social media friends.

A refresher if you will. I went by Grasshopper records to see Dave after I went to The Darling Mansion and he knew J would be there, the stars just all aligned and now we are homies! Go Raymes.

Love hanging here. Hadn’t seen Dave in a month too. I know Dave through Geoffrey. It’s all very complex who cares.

So it was a good night. We hung around Dundas, went to Get Well. Record store. Studio. I am a lucky girl. Or I just spent a good deal making connections in my life and being awesome in general blah etc snore zzzz lol.

I also hadn’t seen my nice lady friend Tanya in a bit so I decided to drop in. More on that later!

No comment. I enjoy the composition. Kind of comical. I ate 4 taquitos and I don’t ever want to forget it and thus never do it again.


Easter was a success. Some couldn’t show because of all their barfing kids so like I said, a success! Love our dysfunctional fam though. I’ll do an homage post when I have some time never.

My brother and I’s birthdays are ten days apart. Mine is on march 31. JUST SAYING.

GOOD TIMES. TTYL GUYS time to watch The Walking Dead and edit this post.

Head’s up 100% going to this so get a ticket and come with. Or better yet Retweet my tweet and win a set. I’m giving away two pairs of 2.