My hair is ridiculous. When you have platinum hair the texture of the follicle turns delicate, doll-like. Luckily my hair is resilient and can take a lot. My hair is all virgin platinum too, I only do my roots, never double-process and because of my new-found texture it goes wavy like that. My hair was perfectly straight last night and in bed I sweated like a junky withdrawing and now my hair is declaration of Independence wavy, with a little gay ponytail. I need a ruffled shirt to complete the look.
I can’t be arsed to blog proper today. I just spent an hour on the phone with rogers, got my bloody hardware upgrade and a brand new blackberry on the way which is more than half stupid as today internationally every blackberry is taking a dirt nap. I need the keyboard, if iphone had a keyboard I’d get one. They don’t, so I didn’t. I am not a robot and this isn’t the matrix, I blog, I type, you can’t change me.
I like when new trolls discover me, they fall all over themselves starting up dummy twitter accounts to troll me and comparing me to heidi montag. So naive and lazy these reactions to all things RTM.COM it never changes. They’re like this OMG WHAT? Pictures of herself! SO MANY! And her clothes! OOOH ^&%#&$#&! Like seriously people did you just stumble into the internet yesterday? How else do you get people interested in your life if you don’t fucking show it?
When I visit, Rocky only hangs out in two places now, the computer desk or my dad’s room. Stella the dog has something to do with that though she loves and tolerates cats, lives with two.
These kittens sell for $900. My uncle’s cat has popped out its third or second litter now.
Someone said elsewhere on the internet that I am built like Amy Winehouse. I think they meant hip bones. I am fine with that. Raymi Finehouse.
Papa was protecting this one from the rest of the family but I said he was killing it, its arms and legs were wedged in the couch like a fawn. This was the lap-cat of the lot. Mewling in your ears ahhh bless it I am a total kitten groupie.
I was holding back tears in this photo cos I knew I looked like an idiot and this was my first ever portrait (that I was conscious of) and I was totally nervous ps. thanks mom for curling my bangs. NOT.
Gwen Stefani is prettier as a person.
That’s my dad at 17.
Even if I wanted to “blog” I couldn’t cos all my shots are on my blackberry and can no longer email to myself. I was like, to customer support, I CAN’T WORK LIKE THIS ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOORE! Do something or I’ll go mental.
Feather earrings may be in but if they look artificial, you can’t wear them. When people jump on trends so quick they don’t always bother to get it right. As for these ones, pretty real. For seagull feathers. Haha they’re not.
Ps. these ads are all over town and if you see one be sure to go up and yank your lingerie from the poster. Too cool, they refill them as well. I’ve decided to go sexier with RTM, back to basics, things I should’ve done years ago but I let stupid bitch whiners get in my ear. CYA! Totally have a case of the Mondays on this Wednesday. I don’t know how I’ve blogged for all these years or forced myself to do so whilst feeling so aggro.
See her over there ahead of the dude, that’s right after we shook hands gah! My phone was sundialing like crazy and she so knew I was stalling her by way of hand squeeze. She nodded at me too, Beth, and me, OF PORTISHEAD, we were wearing the same outfit but mine was better with my hat and suspenders. Then she swug a gulp from her bottle of stella on stage. I swooned and screamed up into Darius’ face what happened. It’s cos of him I saw her at all, he’s a giant. He’s my lucky charm at sound academy, I always meet/brush with the greats when I take him with. Tickets were pricy and I could only get a plus one/vip. We felt special. Hardcore fans everywhere, I really liked that. Old timers like me, total emo arty educated sort.
A girl shoved me right off the bat when we arrived. I barked in her face DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME. She’s like we were standing here for an hour! I said I am taking pictures, chill out and wait. There was a mega section of space she was territorial hogging, prized balcony real estate. If that was your spot why weren’t you standing in it. She was wasted, I said I WORK HERE. That shut her up. Wearing all black at a concert is key in these moments. Wearing an air force hat (authentic!), even better. That’s how I combed our way through the crowd to the side pocket bar, scuse me scuse me i work here just trying to get through. Ugh people and bodies and rudeness. I have no tolerance for it. Another good lie to get by I heard once was “my wife is pregnant” or I am trying to get to my friend who is pregnant, ahha I know right? And the crowd parts.
This was the one photo I got and then she bulldozed me. I knew she was going to do it before she did it and then she did it. Haha SHORT ARSE (Colin Ferrel voice) push me all you want but you can’t make me budge or see around me. her man was like i don’t want any trouble. I go up to Darius at the bar and say I already got in to a fight he goes, “already?” bahaha yes THEN he walks RIGHT where the incident happened to the couple and the dude says to Darius, “Sorry dude blabbity blah..” Darius is like ??? Turns around to me, OH right hahaha I wave and smile in a told you so face. Fuck VIP. We went down in to the under belly of the venue for more aggression. Lost Darius in the crowd, my hat fell off, bent down to get it and five gross guys are all mouth breathing, ugh. I went back to Darius and slapped him with my hat, stay close! So we had to double back past the gross guys again. If you smile your way through it only gets you halfway, you must use force and say that you work there 50 times. At the end stretch of the gauntlet of the mob a dancing mashed chick was flopping all over me and the final barrier out of the pit I said CAN YOU STOP THAT FOR A SECOND! Everyone roared with laughter. She didn’t even hear it. We got through, bumped into Claire and had the loveliest of times.
I will “be” right “back”.
Oh god, death to quotations. More like death to spam, I have a billion comments to sort out. Ugh.
Beth Gibbons shook my hand, I squeezed the hell out of hers, she squeezed back and looked right INTO MY SOUL. Ah legend. All my photos are crap, Darius’ iphone is the old one so no videos. Oh that’s right I took a bunch on Claire’s. The show was perfect. Ok brb now I have underwear that needs uselessly walking around in. It’s Canadian Thanksgiving weekend (for my american brothers reading) so don’t be alarmed.
Stayed out late last night. The moon turned big and harvesty. Orange and luminous, bloated, engorged. Clem texted me when I was at Wrong Bar, then we went to Motel, then to the Central and it was a reunion for ol raymbo. Oh god the central vortex. Nothing like everyone talking at the same time to music blaring ALL OF OUR IDEAS MAN! (stephy bahaha) at howling hour. Darius is lucky he got away and had a shawarma. Claire and I haven’t hung in ages. Dig that girl! I forget that my friends read my blog, in fact I met so many people last night who read me and halfway through my rambling at them incarnate they go I have a confession to make, I know who you are and I have read your blog for many years. Cool.
Walked our asses halfway home. Some asshole did this to every bike on college.
Yikes about the second bit. Bit of a red flag or heat score much?
I texted this to my brother the other day and he’s like who is that and I go, I don’t know but he rules.
this was shot before learning what the installation was all about.
Initial Nuit Blanche smattering here. Finally dredging up the rest I’ve already uploaded, brb. It’s gorgeous out I’m wearing a bikini ahhh glorious! Fank you Sun King! Oh here too are more teddy bear shots. My favourite ones. I’m a ladybear Stew said.
Getting pumped up for my show.This is what scared looks like kids. Face your fears in life and your will be stronger, more iron in your will than food. I learned that from my cleanse coach.
I was shaking. But I was also obliterated so when I was performing I was more focused on my wicked buzz and thankfully I had a long shaggy bang all over my face. I’ve been to many concerts, seen so many various styles of performer, I know how it is done. I am a born entertainer. It was brought.
After it was all said and done we dipped in to Bovine, had just missed a live nude bondage performance whaaat? increds.
That guy was 7 feet tall. Wicked get-up. Andy Koffman as that lounge lizard dude? He was one of the photograph subjects, in a bathtub naked with two hot broads. Very sexy art back there. You can see it at my show!
Here’s my calling card, stay close now. Dressing as a fuzzy animal gets you away with murder. not real murder but things you wouldn’t normally get up to. The only near miss altercation was with two jersey boy guido poseurs. I won of course.
Cute no? Yes. That guy took a seat to watch the show. Nuit Blanche is like Mardi Gras Halloween.
She was like a severe drew barrymore face. So cute.
She is telling me how great I am and my performance at The Toronto Underground Cinema. Aww.
I am building a hot girl army.
CAUGHT ONE! Lady Bear LUNCH TIME!
Just gonna sneak up on these unsuspecting campers now heheheh deedly dee.
I don’t like street meat. We went to Mcdonald’s for the sketchiest experience ever.
There was a big ass castlelike mansion in Bellwoods once, which is why those gates are there. Now why in the hell they tore it down is beyond me. Idiotic. Princess Diana has her palace in hyde park, right? Kensington? I have it written down in one of my travel journals. Something palace, starts with a c? ugh brain!
Scuse me coming through.
Everyone was dancing at my teddy bear picnic. Great success!
One of my fav parts about this costume was not having to wash my hair. Laziness grounds for the day. That pile of my clothes is gone now. Slobtastical.
Babe Bartender Allison. it’s nice being a VIP at bovine.
Ahh love me a do-nothing post. THESE are the rewards that make all the hustle worth it. These in-betweeners, they help me get through the scary landscape what is my mind, life. How many neurotics out there reading? How often do you worry about your place in society, status quo, business, I dunno. WORRIES. Man, what a drag.
A guy I dated once said he loved the fantasy world I created for myself. The make believe. What are you talking about? In the same breath he called me a charlatan. What the fuck is that? We were in bed naked together and I laughed. It was actually a compliment cos it means I coast on dreams pixie dust fume sparkles. But can I forever?
I’m just as scared as any of you. Imagine of all the doubts you had about yourself daily were amplified ten fold, ten times when you least expect it throughout the day something intensely disdainful was thrown your way. I think you’d be exactly like me, worse.
I have always taken matters in to my own hands my entire life. I can’t? Watch me. Cue spitting dust and pebbles.
While sitting here three insane facebook messages came through about my age, how I should hang up my heels. Other putrid stuff as if written by psycho ward demon. The way a person writes, their typos and grammar, it’s a massive impression from their soul cos emotions tend to get affixed to the words they choose and if you’ve been reading for eleven years it’s like waiting for the fuse to go out and BOOM. All crazies eventually snap.
I had written on my facebook to not spam my wall, as a status update, directed at no one and everyone. This guy LOST IT. Anyway, I will only have to get used to this, and more of it. I know right? SO wrong.
So apparently when I sound off anger on the internet it warrants a massive cataclysm.
Why do you think I train like a nutcase? One of the guys on Survivor said if you didn’t do any sort of exercise, training, working out before the show, then you’re an idiot.
I met with my book agent yesterday and got him to light a fire under our asses. Outline due Tuesday. I’m more of a show don’t tell girl so I say no more.
Need to do something about the Harth hive lighting, I look grey here.
Do you know what Harth stands for? HARMONICA AVALANCHE RADIO TOOTHPICK HOUSE. Ask again and get a completely different and fun answer. That is how we do. No seriously they told me Hurricane Alf Rocketship… Lets see what Diamond says when I interview him. I heard a rumour he is shy. Isn’t that adorable!
St. patty’s day owl, a knight guy representative of something funny I forget and me Oktoberfest wench. This is the Halloween user group meeting. Seriously this is like hanging out with JPOD. I love it.
This was a very busy day for me I was on a warpath and BBMing non-stop. I changed into my costume in the car in front of two garbagemen up in their garbage truck looking down and into the windshield replete with headlights. It will definitely make the life highlight of 2011 cut. Sean was like they’re all in here in costumes waiting for you and like the team player I am I couldn’t get my shirt off fast enough. Luckily I threw this costume in to my Nella Bella Gym bag in planning to wear it in our ANDY MILONAKIS video. There was also a totally weird french guy and other strangers. This was a partial major duping because I have nothing but s-e-x costumes I wanted to throttle sean but I was too busy bbming Joey. UGHHHH hahaha.
Hodge glitter-podged James Dean from rebel w/o a cause on to butterface pin-up girl. You can claim him if you donate to my aboutface charity. My paintings at base sell for $300. Truth. My thermometer is embarrassingly at 0. I got donations already toward Jenn’s, but I still had to register for legal purposes in case I die up there but yeah, this time I am rewarding a Little Raymi with something nice. Second prize donation is my Rasta designer toothbrush haha. I am walking the CN Tower on October 28 at 8 in the morning. Oh my god. O_O. I’ve climbed mountains and high structures before but this, I dunno. At least it’s for charity. Jenn’s is up to $645! Amazing. She has three boys with cleft palettes and AboutFACE is a charity that helps those kids with skills for the future, they go to camp and have a wonderful experience like “normal” kids and then I fall off the CN Tower. I’ve never been UP the CN Tower before. They give you a breathalyzer too.
I told my therapist about all the insane things I do and he was like, wow. I’M STRESSED OUT OF MY MIIIND! HAhaha. You know every time someone goes, man I’m so ____ I’ll jump out of a window! Or off a building. Kay nevermind that joke doesn’t make sense cos I’m not jumping, or falling, I HOPE! I would black out on my way down if I bungee jumped. I made a hot air balloon ride joke to my dad as a non-sequitor “what’s new?” once and he completely lost his mind on me. Woah was TOTALLY KIDDING. he’s used to my stupidity these days. Looking forward to his band’s gig tomorrow in my beloved Burnoutington.
This tender amish moment ruined by yours truly. CHOOSE ELECTRICITY STAY! STAY! The modern world is calling. Actually I would love to trade places. I could write for the village newspaper on the side of a cave bahaha. Mennonites fascinate me. Wonder if they ever google themselves. I know someone who gave a bunch a lift once cos they built the barn on their property, what? You’ll go to hell if I drive you, get out and hoof it Jebediah!
Up Ossington.
These shoes make me laugh, so geeky. Yuppie bait!
Have to get back in to burlesque spirit. Shit dog I never left. Maybe I should go to a strip club and take notes. We did in Quebec City. Funny night man they are smooth operators.
Blowing through film to see if I am doing it right, I need to take it out I think.
Leslie’s like you will NEVER mail that. The soap made it like ten times more expensive to ship, it’s a brick.
Name the artist.
This is a dreamy little place. I left with 15 bags of coffee to-go for ten bucks? Fifteen? Forget but it’s delicious and each bag is a full pot, they cut out the thinking for me. Cafe Barnate, hidden gem I have never stepped in before.
It’s gorgeous out so it’s time for a spin with Stella.
OK lets put our thinking caps on and I’ll grab my notes. The conference feedback about your hero was: wow she has a plan – she knows what she wants and she is going after it. – congrats and u looked gorgeous :).
Raymi the Minx aka Lauren White or, Raymi Lauren, built her brand at the age of 17, spawning raymitheminx.com in 2000. She is a pioneer of blogging and was amongst the small pool of bloggers during its first wave of popularity in 2002, drawing the attention of The National Post and SEX TV. A provocateur savant, unabashed black sheep of the digital age, influencer, trend setter, wordsmith; Raymitheminx.com has been a MUST READ in the Toronto’s hip and in-the-know arena for over a decade. Raymi is on par with media, a notable invitee to all the to-dos, touted as the Penny Lane of Toronto (long time music industry ties), muse to the stars, spearheads a bounty of fellow Little Raymis with copious pop-up copycat raymi blogs. Multiple times over viral, donning garb and trends before you got over the last one. Raymi has singlehandedly made a business of her personal everyday life, is a spokesmodel for a plethora of elite brands and has successfully married her hobbies and passions with business, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. You need to meet her to fully experience and grasp her special brand. A closet feminist, comedienne, exhibitionist, Raymi wears all hats and didja know, she’s HUGE in the foodie scene too, not to mention, a rapidly budding and requested burlesque dancer?
Showed up a little early (for once) to catch the panel before mine to see how these ladies were doing it. they would set the bar and I would be cartwheeling over it. That was my trick to settling my nerves. It worked. Was still nervous though, but I am always nervous so it doesn’t much matter. I’ll distract them with dazzle camouflage.
Following people on twitter and they thank you by spam blasting you with something you have zero per cent interest in. No thank you. Unfollow.
Katrina tweeted are you wearing pants? I replied with oh sh- where are mein pants? ILUVHER.
I guess colleague was bored at points. He is already well-versed in all my wacky hair-brained schemes.
That baby was calming. We vibed off one another. I don’t know protocol in talking to babies, is it ok? I picked up a dog once in a movie store and my bf was like NO. That’s the equivalent of picking up someone else’s baby. I get away with stuff all the time and I know that what I can do isn’t necessarily ok for everybody else. Yes I get special privileges.
They all followed my twitter straight off the bat thanks to Rose. I am this close to being a pyramid scheme (what’s a ponzi scheme that sounds fun!) or a televangelist.
I know and don’t know what they were saying. The room was packed! No seats or, I just didn’t want to interrupt. I saw that no one was being as insane and boisterous as I had been plotting. My nerves went away. I’ve been on network autopilot for weeks it is second nature now and annoying all of my friends. I can’t stop selling.
THIS GIRL HAS SOME STAR QUALITY (AND I’M NOT SAYING THAT BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW AFTER WATCHING THIS). BUT, REALLY. SHE HAS MORE TALENT AND SEX APPEAL THAN MOST OF THE BIMBOS ON TV TODAY. WHY NOT? PUT THIS GIRL IN A MOVIE PLEASE!
It’s super weird to get comments daily to a ghost of a girl. Like she lives in a dance video in a condo she used to live in. Click that link to see.
More of that.
@1ofthose2girls the tiara chick had the fortune of washing her hands precisely when I was in the loo putting on my magic final touches and thus became deeply entangled in a massive sharing of ladies room banter. That’s Katrina, the new treasurer of empire raymi. She is paid in Brie.
@KarmicEvolution screamed out I LOVE YOU. I dared her to. It happens at the end of my Intro here. I knew she’d do it cos she had a whale on her head. People with animals on their heads typically are wont to yell things out in public.
This is what I call being a team player. Did you wear your shirt?
I wore a bra in case my party hats would be showing. I chose my colour over summer and everything was easy breezy sunny and I was a surfer babe 24/7. Farah said she expected me to show up in my lifeguard outfit. She said it’s infamous hahaha. Totally. Maybe I’ll do a post of photos of me wearing it all over town.
All #SCCTO babes get a discount to AndroidTO. code: RAYMI. Android and Connected sitting in a tree c-o-n-f-e-r-e-n-c-i-n-g. Hot geek love.
Another baby.
So adorable.
Your baby is a thief. Her mom was like I am trying to train her to pull people’s rings off. Loved that. I love when they take you to task for the bluffs you throw out there.
Pfffft.
One of the first things I said was I FEEL LIKE I AM SITTING AT A BAR. I was jokey. People listen to stand-up.
They are all staring. It’s like a dream and a nightmare simultaneously.
I want those shots. or maybe not. You get the idea.
OOh that hat was a good idea, face hiding. Like when people whisper, you listen closer. If my face is obscured you will constantly look for it.
Ok I will for real get up off my ass now and get my notes. It was hard to say all the things you planned to because it was a discussion and specific questions lead to specific answers. What works for me might not necessarily work for you and I knew I couldn’t convince a room of 200 proactive techy chicks that the recipe to success was heavily beauty based or being a constant gag-making stooge, I can tell that to you guys but to a room, nuh uh. Everyone likes to think that they have all the answers better than you. Fine then go get invited to a panel and tell it on a microphone. Mantain relevancy and longevity. That is the goal. I am eleven years old this blog, one woman rushed me about blogging back in the day too but yeah, are you notable?
Well done clap clap now lets see what the feedback is.
That guy interviewed me on his little blog tv show thing haven’t heard from him yet. I get 80% more traffic than him, my colleague said, THAT is why RAYMI when he asked “innocently” about what the big deal about bloggers and brands is. Advertising, dude. That’s what. It’s just a channel of preference. Have something neat you wanna raise hype and awareness for, email ME: RAYMI@RAYMITHEMINX.COM Think your brand is too elite for me, you’re fooling yourself and asleep at the wheel. My fingers are in every pie.
@zchamu was in my Blogher San Diego crew. LOVE HER! Which is blog code speak for SHE LOVES RAYMI.
YES WE CAN!
Moments prior to this I was like you have to be a punk rock mommy blogger these days to be interesting again and WHAMMO! Dreams answered.
Shannon was on her way back to Ottawa. Wah. Go hang out with my aunt and uncle! They’re like me (nothing like me) but way more posh.
Amen blonde sister. Don’t feel alienated other girls. Colleague said I alienate people sometimes when I write I had no idea what he is talking about cos he hasn’t any hair at all!
Here is a picture of what me pretending to know EXACTLY what african drumming is. Like, Peter Gabriel’s concerts? Gahaha. Please totally invite me I dance like a chicken to tribal music it will be hilarious.
Wait for it!
Hahahaa.
I am doing my patented MIB-rip-off memory record wiping by waving at the air. Photographic evidence unfortunately doesn’t delete the same nor does willingly typing html code into the body of your typing field for the photo either. It’s unfortunate that this entire post is tainted for me based on one rotten egg of a woman talking shit about me. My brand isn’t “for her” and had I known this our conversation meet and greet that I was nothing but lovely during would have been wildly different.
It’s ok, I’m wearing a hat. I got this covered.
She liked me, I liked her, blah blah blah oh that’s right she was at the picnic too!
Give me some.
I want a tiara! I’ll be a stagette party forever no problemo!
Conference sponsor what’s up!
Give me one.
Sometimes I look Japanese right? That is because I am related to David Suzuki. No just kidding. Notice how I antagonize a notable periodically here for about a month’s time to get a reaction out of it. WINDOW’S CLOSING, SUZUKI. Why weren’t you at the picnic? I planted a tree in your honour.
There’s a video of this but I think it was TMI so won’t be posting. If I knew how to edit. Hmmm.
Ha. Who even knows anymore?
Tracey was like what would we talk about on tv? I’m LIKE WHAT WOULD WE TALK ABOUT????
She said I had it going on and I said you distracted me during my panel, I saw you look down and was trying to figure out who you were and then saw you typing and thought, “what is she typing about me?” I am totally self centred.
I wish I didn’t look like this when I laughed, but I do. Oh well. The point is what WOULDN’T we talk about on CityLine? What is the live delay, 5 seconds? Bahaha.
Don’t I look like Sam Crenshaw sometimes?
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Something neat, this photo is trending right now on tumblr:
It took my breath away because I took a photo of the same steps in New Orleans Louisiana in April 2008. Crazy!
