Star Wars The Force Awakens

Hello Dings. Hello Dongs. I’m here today to talk to you about Star Wars The Force Awakens. I will not spoil anything for you (I might though, to be fair) here. I use to review movies way back when on my blog, out of (pain) pleasure and sometimes out of payment plus pleasure. My reviews typically revolved around all the things that pissed me off in the movie theatre along with hair-brained opinions of my own, as well as differing ones that always drove me up the wall and makes for great blog fodder.

I’m putting this post on RTM instead of Raymi Toronto cos I want raymitheminx to get all the glory although the potential of it going viral (getting picked up) would be something good for RTDot but I have had this bout of writer’s block this week blergh blah so I need to exercise my mind in a less stringent environment, which would clearly be here.

I’m going to get this part out of the way first. The part that super-ensured I review this movie at all because of all the haters posting about how much they allegedly “don’t care” about Star Wars very much proves otherwise. Oh yeah, you don’t? Cos I see you big time caring over there in actuality. You’re POSTING ABOUT IT. You remind me of me trashing on the world cup cos I never bloody ever watched it. Guess what happened when I watched it? BOOM. Bandwagon. With me on board. Every single person ranting about Star Wars HASN’T EVEN SEEN IT YET. And. It’s not like I am even a Star Wars superfan or anything here because I’m 100% certain I passed out cold at the last Star Wars movie I saw in theatres I am way on the fence with this one residing firmly in the middle between utter boredom and okay fine I’ll see it only cos the tickets are free and everything else is that I will be consuming as well as I got five t-shirts as xmas gifts for my loved ones lol.

Moreover. I cannot stand people who act as though they are more-evolved than others for shunning a widely loved and recognized movie. It’s just ONE THING people. Can you not let people see it and then move on with your life? It didn’t become a thing until I saw lots of people (myself included) sharing their cinema photos posing in front of the Star Wars sign en masse like we know it’s a dorky joke and that’s why we are doing it. Really, that PISSES YOU OFF SO MUCH? To see nerds happy? You think you’re evolved? Sorry. Nerds are the evolved ones. Let them have this. Go back to your nasty too cool for school hovels, preaching this that and the other sanctimonious shit like no other day then. You’re hypocritical AF cos when you post about something you love, wouldn’t you lose your mind if someone posted all this OMG SO BORING shit all over it?

This popcorn made me crazy fyi, and the pop. I just had too much. After the movie waiting for my friend outside I was having a panic attack. Going to the movies is no easy feat, especially downtown Toronto on a Friday afternoon. Going into public spaces with crowds is going against everything I stand for so I get that anxiety is another reason why the haters are hating too. All my old movie reviews revolve around someone sneezing and it thwarting me into WWIII of the mind and god have mercy on the soul of the (any) person sitting behind me who so much as grazes the back of my seat. All reasons to NOT go to the cinema. You know what I finally discovered was a big helper in watching movies in a giant room full of noise-making strangers? Drunk movie watching. Pop one or two back and you will not care about ANY sound nor even be aware of it in the theatre but go in there as a c__t, on-edge type and you only have yourself to blame.

Now. Here are the FUN REASONS why you should go to a star wars premiere with a bunch of nerds. Every time someone tripped up the stairs beside me here, green shirt guy had a trip count and would announce to that person which number they were who had tripped right on that spot. Also. Light sabers kept going off accidentally. They were provided by the company Nimble Storage who did a presentation for us which resulted in free popcorn pops and t-shirts as previously mentioned. It was MY light saber that went off during the presentation from being nudged on the floor and it would not turn off, was extremely humiliating and the guys behind me had to deal with it. Which was a lesson to be learned prior to movie screening as there is nothing scarier than nerd rage during movie-interruptus. I would not let that thing near me for the movie at all.

My legs killed from taking the stairs tbh another reason I felt a bit green after the movie (they were shaking on me) I had no energy left Star Wars sucked it out of me paying all that attention haha. Look at ALL the lazies who took the escalator up ha ha.

Might wanna remove that coming soon portion.

I wanted to take a few more to use for a photoshoot but people were getting greedy clutching 3 per person so I was like nahhh.

This pile quickly disappeared.

Then the horrible part happened when I had to give up the seat beside me cos the guy on the end had hoarded so much shit he had no room and I kinda snapped at him yo bro move your things, make room why should I give up MY extra seat? I lost. He pretended he didn’t speak english anymore what a guy anyway, the bro who sat beside me was decent and we chatted throughout until we were both less lost in what was unfolding in the movie. SPOILER ALERT “Is that the new R2D2?” “Yeah I guess so” then later on R2D2 appears lol. Neither of us knew when the last Star Wars actually was but it doesn’t matter cos they string it together for any idiot to understand and the leading girl isn’t famous AF yet so it’s not distracting.

My new shirt and yours too if you’re one of my special guys. I rate Star Wars 4/5. If I didn’t go, and before I went, I’d be like omg whatever. But I went and so here we are. I look fwd to seeing Hunger Games next week something I’ll like a million times more. Okay peace.