christ raymi, i was just trolling your comments, it never stops. what is it with the posturing? it seems that people feel inclined to take harsh stances, either for or against, in these synthetic communities, just digging their heels in and making their presence felt… but what is their presence?… i thought that blogging was supposed to be about sharing the things that stem from your life, providing entertainment, in a variety of styles… but the way that people act in comments and with the between blog bickering it would seem that the blog arena becomes an important part of their life… that is hard for me to accept… how can non-physical share-space become a big part of a person’s life? at least big enough to engage in stealing styles and attempting to bandy words with such fervor, and it is such gay fervor too, it is laced with sarcasm and a feigned indifference, obviously everyone gives a major shit or they would be silent…god damn, people need more physical contact, we need to deal with mannerisms and smells, we need to deal with ‘right here, right now’ awkwardness… get knocked down a few pegs when we get all self-conscious and sweaty in a mall… fuck. a bunch of no-pressure computer world degenerates. all of us. revolution?
i am going to beat this drum to death.
maybe i should just figure it out and stop being a word monger… but i am genuinely disturbed by all this.
damn.
i would like to post this but it would cause major major hell you are right people live vicariously through me i guess i am reliable so they stick around my parts? what do you think it could be
i think its loneliness, and an easy way to feel as though they are a part of something. it is pretty ridiculous but it may in fact be an issue of reliability. they can be sure that you won’t abandon your own creation and they use the aspect of comments and the “community” to stay in your realm of discussion… so their boring bicker shit can maintain a “live” and recognized status through you, because they can’t pull it off on their own. fuck that is lame.
i am fine with criticism and battling in general… but as i said in my initial marathon email… when it comes to criticizing an established entertainment style, trying to criticize the person that has the readers and the audience that the critic has chosen to flex in front of… there really isn’t a leg to stand on.
yeah i agree lately ive bene in the middle of some blog wars with some of these folk after a year of their shit and copying me i retaliated and they are all super shocked and depressed ungh
i just liked what you said re: pretend indifference when it’s obvs this is very important to them
I think this chunk of my analysis should end with a metaphor.
the feeling that one of these passive aggressive blog adversaries gets when their comment/insult made against you falls limp, poorly received, with no impact… is something akin to the feeling one might get after being walked in on upon while masturbating with a belt around the neck and apple sauce smeared all over the chest… it is the sort of moment in which the person realizes they are completely fucked, and caught, they know that what they have done is inescapable, so chaos ensues, there is just an incredible flailing attempt to escape being seen and then a subsequent scramble to recover by whatever means necessary after the belt and the boner are out of the picture… it can start with excuses, taking some sort of a defensive position, whatever is necessary to escape the reality of the extremely awkward and ridiculous course of action that the individual chose to take.
the entire phenomenon is simply explained and yet i spend lengthy emails pontificating on the issue… some people are blowhards that have no commendable style of their own… so they engage in their semi-confrontational posturing and try to piggy back on other more stylish and talented people… the blog world dynamic is the same as most other societal dynamics… some people have talent… and other people try to do what the talented people do but fail, and end up in an envious state which lead them to criticize in their bitterness…
and my metaphor works even better than i thought… these passive aggressive people that are shit talking you are like sexually unsuccessful hermit people that are deep in the throws of not having sex… they have to resort to abstract masturbation tactics to fend off the pangs of their utter lack of fulfillment… and when they get caught in the deed they are forced to feel that much worse about their plight… because now their strange behavior, the epitome of their lack of success, is out in the open. from that point on their character flaw is exposed.
it is that simple… in most of these case… you have the situation that the shit talkers wish that they had,,, and they are just shooting off their bitter tits in some sort of attempt to gain ground.
so, i need to stop wasting my time investigating these unchanging brute social realities … and by extension stop wasting your time by ranting at you about it.
it is time for a break from the world of internet posturing… i’m getting body aches thinking about all this bullshit.
I am extremely troubled by this reoccurring dream I am having in which I am eating whatever the latest dish you are blogging about.
I am sorry to bug you but I just (well not just it was about three hours ago) ingested a bunch of E and felt compelled to tell you the statement above.
I think people generally suck except for me, that is why I dig you blog.
Thanks for turning me onto Naughty James, he is the reason I am going to art school at age 21.
we are doing a family joint birthday thing tonite (my brother’s birthday is april 10) we are doing dinner and then bowling. i have to get my brother something, maybe some cheesy playing cards, he is gamblor, do you know where i could find some? he will probably get me nothing, or scratch tickets or upon seeing my gift for him feel guilted then give me twenty dollars. i think i will practise bowling on wii but i don’t want to weaken my arm though cos i haven’t played wii in weeks. i’m starving.
bathtime.
ps. i KNEW something good would come of listing past blog titles.
i’m doing that sneaky mariah carey pose where you angle your waist to the side a bit and dig your hand into your love handle. (she was NOT that skinny when that album came out so there is no chance in hell that cover wasn’t photoshopped also her other hand is tugging her left love handle back i am aware of that trick too nice try mimi!) it also helps to wear a curtain dress that billows around your waist.
i am going to build a time machine so i can go back in time and eat that again.
easter cid
indoor shoes
mere moments before i smashed the half pint all over myself table and floor 1. i was NOT drunk i had only 1/5 of it! 2. the waitress took our bill and was like i will be back with change and i said no that’s fine keep it all and waved my hand right into the flute 3. i had just finished telling fil that he was gonna have to drink my beer i was not feeling it.
happy easter stigmata i love the JC so much i shoved glass into my hand after smashing a half pint glass. a tiny shard was on my hand and when we went to leave i pushed the door open shoving the shard into my hand, it was neat.
shitty sleep last nite the theme song from that playboy bunnies show was stuck in my head all nite long COME ON TO MY HOUSE bla blah and then i obsessed about being a bunny and not skinny enough aside i don’t think i would fair cos i have this red thing growing on my shoulder, i should have it looked at it’s probably a botfly hanging in there.
i also am very shitty at humouring people HI I CARE HERE ARE MY BREASTS IN YOUR FACE AHAHAHA HO HO THAT WAS A HILARIOUS THING YOU SAID ABOUT MY TAIL OLD FAT UGLY GUY HAHAA OH YEAH I TOOOOOTALLY ENJOY THE SMELL OF CIGAR SMOKE.
then i had scary dreams when i was finally able to sleep.
i watched this show on slice called at the end of my leash it is about terrible dog owners who let their dogs get fat and don’t walk them the guy who came to help was really good at putting them in their places, he comes in the door and says wow that dog is big and the mom laughs and he goes you are laughing? why? i would be embarrassed and disgusted with myself.
you chose the dog, the dog didn’t choose you and you are killing it.
the teenage daughter’s excuse for not walking the dog was she has a social life don’t you understand that? and everyone was fine with it!! it’s not the dog’s fault you have a social life, fuck, i bet the dog would love to have a social life too but he doesn’t have that choice, take away the table scraps and walks and he is still fat and miserable chillin’ on the livingroom floor while you are out social lifing it up.
i don’t think i will ever be able to have children because they would be stuffed into suitcases and thrown into a fucking river if they begged for a dog and did nothing to care for it.
i will think of other things to complain about while i make espresso.
and because you guys are so amazing here is an alphabetized list of various titles i have used for this blog over the last year or however long those drop-down menus store history, tell me what your favourites are:
a drunkard takes it all in like a friend a place for famous people to get away from nerds am i dying apollo kids aunt lauren ballad of a cold lost marble ballin a jack be hyperly unaware of how fucking amazing and mysterious you are big glasses on a gun bringing illness back but for no one more round buyin’ smokes for kids buyin’ smokes for kids and i pocket the change controlling menstrual cycles since 2000 curious george and the electric fence dirty drunk dog of tears dumposaurus each the other’s world entire elements of the ridiculous fighting through the whiskey freak total loser fight accident fun with lonerisms G rated garbage garbageface HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA happy valentiiiiiiiiiine’s happy valentiiiiiiiiiine’s day hot time kid IN THE FACE! i am a detective i am lance romance i am the internet! i don’t give a damn if i’m your villain i finished the internet i’ll leave grafitti where you’ve never been kissed i’m still your fag i’ve got a tricked out magic stick in my leisure suite Le le le crap le ghetto le voyage de penelope lets get high and listen to tegan and sara lets grow mustaches MORE BETTER LOOKING manipulation tactics mitten moment offensive display of superiority and self-importance; overbearing pride. old chevy penis cheese sandwiches playing you like a bassoon prattle on ’bout bad inventions pretty penny primer gray is the colour when you’re done dying public pervert quote your grandfather regularly raining with the spirnkler on ray liotta driver’s ed regulating menstrual cycles since 2000 satin in a coffin scarecrow shadow on the nazarene see a whole universe all over again shit out shut up dicklick stank strangers on train suck it trebek take a ride on a downtown train the blog whisperer the bottom of the best of the worst the grain the meaners the oldy lady blog where i talk about old ladies the sickness of mind the under the stairs dick lick there always were golden rocks to throw they punish success this is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about this one’s for your mom tragically WICKED trainwreck, le ugly, oldness, death what makes you think you’re my only lover Yuko & Hiro you could be hotter you would do it if you were pretty your mother douches your music sucks your rock and roll is going away your stink makes my eyes burn
let me tell you about sexy land.
sexy land is the table on the other side of the room where fil uses his laptop, on weekends we spend hours not talking to each other out loud instead we talk on gchat and update our blogs we do this until stir-crazy kicks in then we go for a drive or a walk or eat and so on. throughout the day fil will eat many snacks and he lets the plates stack up around him and espresso cups, wrappers, forks knives napkins, fucking hot. yesterday i came over to go through pictures with him and noticed all this nasty shit on a plate from a burrito he just ate, it looked like snot vomit mucous, anyway i said HEY IS THIS SEXY LAND? he said that it was.
also in sexy land you can only wear your underwear and slippers and the underwear has to have a million bleach stains on it and the elastic has to be all mangled and said underwear has to be ill-fitting, and streched out. we call these guys the getting some pants.
that is all about sexy land for now.
we wons!!!!!
hey look it’s me EATING AT THE GREEN ROOM despite saying no more to doing that AND i am eating the EXACT DISH fil had last time with the uncooked chicken except i got tofu instead i cannot stay away from the curry.
amanda blog-spotted us at the pump yesterday, she was our waitress and obvs. psyched about meeting me. pitt asked her if she reads comic books she said no cos she has a vagina. she took a picture of me with her phone camera and said she would show it to her friends and they will ask if i am as cunty in real life as i am on my blog SO ENDEARING! she said my hat is bigger in person too and bought us a round. let this be a lesson to future blog spotting persons.
so we went to smokeless joe’s to hang with fil’s sister and her boyfriend, he didn’t drink as much as the usual when we all hang cos he fell on his head or something and was kinda fucked up i got kinda loaded and told super ridiculous not-funny long stories then we went to aimoo‘s picture show at gorilla monsoon where she introduced me to three of her brothers as we were leaving and i said WHAT ARE YOU MEXICAN? she said maybe. here’s a quick funny story about gorilla monsoon before i move on to the other funny shit from last nite. the last and first time i ever visitted gorilla monsoon i got kicked out and banned, i was 19, i met up with my friend who was the only dude in the place drinking tea in the very back at this tiny ass oppressive table so i’m like uh lets move to the front booth, more room, more fun but NO, little old guy behind the bar is all NO WAY can’t move tables sorry and then i lip him off saying oh yeah why not cos of the massive rush that’s about to show up here? and guy flips his lid says get the fuck out and never come back i said FINE FUCK YOU something like that and WAY TO TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS. my friend was pretty pissed off, he was like all i wanted was to drink my tea. i think he was pretty hungover and kind of a mess then i come in and totally fuck it up for him. you know when you’re suicidally hung and shaky? he was like that.
coolest mom/son ever, local drunk guy, left, would NOT go away.
ok so fil and i went to the horseshoe and squished our way to the bar and were beside this totally cool mom/son duo from buffalo and this lecherous drunken idiot local was hanging off the mom and so we get to talking and all that meanwhile this dick is leering at the mom and his eyes are looking in opposite directions and i keep telling the son what the fuck can i intervene please? dude is trying to take them out to a late dinner i’m oh pleasing left and right cos it’s clear this guy NEEDS to eat, mom/son are playing it nice but the mom knee’d son secretly as a signal so i jump in and engage the mom for a 15 minute chat, loud yelling laughing banter and drunk guy is barely able to even lean against the bar without staggering and he keeps trying to get her attention by swiping at her shoulder and missed every single time so FINALLY he gets his arms around her and is all slurring into her ear about treating her to dinner so i take this opportunity to scream at him DUDE IT’S NOT FUCKING HAPPENING, LEAVE!
he did not even hear me that’s how liquored he was.
i am tips myself but at least i am not asking a mother and son to go to a late dinner with me at 1 in the morning a thousand times.
that is some serious leering.
eventually he got the point, mom/son were not going to eat, the second he left they both said ok we are going to go eat now. haha.
