funniest video bestest thing get out of my life if you don’t watch all of this right now.
thanks radmad.
lead me to the building fuck you.
+++
me: im horny come here and fuck me
it might be the energy juice and vodka talking
paris hilton drew this in jail
Phil: ha i have to crap
me: ok im not horny anymore
awesome strikes again
they saw me taking pictures and mayhaps thought i was a food critic so they busted out the freshest most delicious batch, the pork was juicy and fell apart in my mouth before i could even chew it, so incredible.
everytime i burped yesterday i could still taste it i want to go eat it again today.
almost gone no i didn’t eat it all garbagemouth fil helped.
i dunno why fil insists on getting these dumplings, the peanut sauce isn’t even spicy and the whole lot just tastes like a hot peanut butter sandwich.
best tasting beer i ever had hangover beers are my friend.
on the back of that wine is a dig at americans by the french, something like a convenient bottle for on the go americans, like you’re SO on the go you have to have a bottle of gimmicky wine and not the regular bottles.
only jerks drink rose hey peirot come over for some wine i got this great new rose i am just dying to open.
oops
she wrote back
—————– Original Message —————–
From: *************
Date: Jun 30, 2007 4:26 PM
did dugan also tell you that he didn’t exactly stick up for you either? in fact i’m pretty sure he was making cracks about you also.
you might want to consider the idea of letting go.
i’m amazed that you would even bother with shit like that.
ouuu i said shit about you… are you gonna call me up 10 years from now to tell me how upset you got?
and from me:
i do not care what dugan said, i’m sure he had his reasons
everyone in that little circle are pathetic dinks anyway i’m sure you have loads of fun at the saloon laughing it up about people who made it out of streetsville and aren’t trash
the fact that you felt the need to offer up this information speaks volumes of your character, i regret ever humouring you in highschool
getting closure on something that pissed you off when the opportunity presents itself is not “out there” and no i was not tossing and turning thinking about this for years don’t flatter yourself, i saw you, i remembered it, i wrote you
you’ve always been bitter, nasty and unlikable, i would change that
and then:
lauren,
i could care less if you like me. i could care less about what you think of me.
as for you “humoring me in high school” listen why did you even bother? i didn’t bother humoring you.
and as for this getting “closure”. ummm sure?
i’m sorry.
and your little message didn’t “piss me off” i haven’t had a harder laugh in a long while.
now would you stop bothering me and go on with your own life?
–wendy
and from me:
oh blow me you pretentious little scag
my only intention in writing you is to give you a head’s up about accountability for the shit you talk, it gets back to people
—–
she posted my letter on her myspace and changed her title to nasty, bitter and unlikable. when should i let her know she is featured on my blog?
found her on myspace!
subject: magic pony
i saw you the other nite at my friend’s store
i was going to say something but was too incensed with rage i didn’t want to make a scene
dugan told me many moons ago you said that i was a walking std, scott would not grant me your phone number to call your parents and tell them their failure of a daughter is a rug-munching dyke troll
you talk shit about other girls cos you are insecure and hate yourself
enjoy your life, ugly.
love lauren white
ps. lose some weight
pps. metal sucks
july 2006 archive time.
yes i went to edgefest last summer.
nice hair loser.
shitty pointless post, and now i see what everyone is talking about, sorry guys.
look it’s jim!
fanmail telling me i am a tragic mess or something it is long.
i still get attitude from this.
your life sucks.
here is the crap we don’t want real people with jobs to be subjected to.
how to deal with your DEPRESSION.
3. ok i do sort of like you guys but you see what i did there? i made a JOKE, fucking try it sometime, guys le douche.
brianna just made me have a crush on her.
woah deep.
i am a desperate pervert loser.
sorry fatty. wow.
the birth of stalkraymi
zoo pictures.
wow. and i wasn’t even wasted.
is produce considered an aisle?
OOOH telling it like it is.
boner for kaylee still got one.
my blog is german.
the doors are LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE.
fil is a girl.
this just in: these things still blow.
just some pics, you know.
bla blah did this drank that watched something.
congratulations you hang with dudes.
nicest most sincere fanmail.
reminder not to do bangs again.
future-me RULES!
DO YOU GUYS KNOW I JUST READ THE WORD FAGGOT AND I GOT THIS BOOK FROM THE SCHOOL LIBRARY?!
i swear i thought stomach had an e.
i want to take their fun away.
dear amanda peet
nsfw the hairy bush pictures that everyone exploded on i still hate you guys.
i still have the rest of the kit does anyone want it?
this other super annoying thing happened last nite at lee’s, we watched this skinny jock loser trying to be a hipster dancing and bopping around and feeding drinks to his chick-friend, fine, later on i go up to the bathroom and she is sitting on the floor of a stall and her boots are sticking out from under and i was going to take a picture but i decide not to be a total inconsiderate opportunist and ask her if she is ok and i spy a bunch of spew in the toilet, it takes her awhile to respond she says yeah she is fine i ask if she is alone or came with friends she said she was alone i asked if she wanted some water she said that would be great thanks so i go get her some from the dance cave and bring it back and ask again if she has ANY friends with her (as mother theresa as i was being i was not into partying in the bathroom with a stranger all night) she says yeah she has a friend his name is mark i say what is he wearing knowing full-well it’s the skinny dancing douchebag and she says a hoodie, bingo, i go down to find him and tell fil what was taking me so long, so i find mark chatting up one of the dudes from the first band, the teeth, and i can tell he is hitting on him or trying to, he is passing a map drawn on a napkin to the guy, i say hey man your friend is puking in the bathroom she needs some help you need to go check on her and he cuts me off with a snotty whiny smile DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT? uh yeah as i was saying… DO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT? yeah i got her some water but she is SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF THE BATHROOM IN A STALL AND SHE IS NOT OK then he goes oh you got her some water you’re such a hero in this condescending but somewhat sincere tone and asks again if he has to go deal with it and the teeth guy is amused by now by all this and at the audacity of the guy’s priorities so i say, i mean, she IS YOUR FRIEND to guilt the shit out of him, then walked away.
do i have to deal with it?
so many fucking things wrong with that question when your gf that YOU got plastered is alone barfing and you are whining to me a complete stranger who went out of their way to help her out while you are being a groupie-slut, it was walk away or shake him completely senseless.
and now i must fold laundry.
scroll to the bottom of pics for shitbagging post.
i need this bad. you can see my socks/shorts combo in the mirror reflection would go nicely with it.
i will write about this troll after i make espresso stay tuned it’s a goodie.
so the troll mentioned above’s name is wendy cheng, chen? chang? whatever. she went to my highschool, same grade, she’s like 4 feet tall, not a looker, proportions all wrong, sad really, anyway, she’s smart and i guess witty but her personality is so dry and obnoxious, she is mostly unlikable, given that, i STILL gave her the benefit of the doubt and acknowledged her and kept my mouth shut when she said cunty things about everything, other girls, bands, the universe, one of those arrogant debbie downer types, like cynical emo loner. i asked my friend ward why she was always hating on this one chick who i thought was her best friend, everytime lindsay would get out of ward’s car, wendy would insult her like crazy, ward said because lindsay is average height for a girl. oh, good thinking ward. granted lindsay was a dingbat but still she was super nice to wendy and tolerated all her snide musings.
and so how does this relate to me?
in highschool wendy sort of hung with the people i sort of hung with, i had two spare classes together and when i wasn’t spending it drinking at this cafe and tanning at the salon, i would go with my chums to eat and wendy would be there too, she told me once she would do it with a girl she’s just waiting for the right one. she was also dating my friend scott, or they had broken up, who cares, anyway, after highschool i go to nyc then partied in town for a bit to save money before going to maine, while in town i hit the local saloon a lot for karaoke and brews and wendy sorta hung with the regulars there whom i sort of hung with too, only cos they were there, i fucking hate them all now and had oodles of secret-contempt for them at the time but that’s how i roll, enemies close type biz and remember the chick who said she was jealous of me in the bathroom and won’t let her boyfriend be friends with me? she is one of these regulars.
OK so back when i was (this is all mostly lead-up) hanging at this bar with my dude-friend whom i am not allowed to be friends with anymore, one time i am not there and she says to him OH YEAH LAUREN WE USE TO CALL HER THE WALKING STD.
when she said we she meant SHE cos no one liked her and would have the balls to sling shit about me like that, i asked my friend scott once i heard about this to give me her email and phone number so i could call her assumedly strict chinese parents and tell them that their daughter was a fucking dyke rug-muncher, scott would not give me her number. i even tried to look her up in the phonebook, you know how many chengs are in the phonebook? (insert you have more chins than a chinese phonebook joke here) anyway i got over it sans closure by way of temporarily forgetting it, BUT LAST NITE SHE WAS AT MAGIC PONY.
i was going to accost her but i wasn’t even buzzed, i told everyone there about her, kristin said i should say something and offered to go up to her and tell her to get out of her store. i gave her a ton of cut-eye and passive-aggressive hostile atmosphere and while shitbagging her to kristin i was looking all around for her to point out and she was right beside us the whole time so i HOPE she heard everything i said. thing is, i was totally railing loads of guys in highschool, she didn’t know that though so this std-remark is totally unwarranted also i will kick you into outerspace you cow. she probably wanted to bang my friend and thought dissing me to him was a good way to go about it, plenty of chicks have done this to me before, it’s great.
so, was i right for not saying anything about it would you have blasted her through a wall? per se there is some sort of in-future highschool reunion, is it way cooler to harbor resentment and let it brew even longer then explode it then?
also, she was with this total ugs-looking chick and as far as i know, her life blows, still lives in the burbs, goes in to toronto to hang at the reverb and buy knick-knacks from silver snail, i guess i win.
i think she recognized me we made some eye-contact and i think she was too scared to deal cos she made herself pretty scarce after that. GOOD.
FUCK THAT I AM GOING TO STALK ALL THEIR FACEBOOK PROFILES NOW AND FIND HER.
READ THIS YOU GUYS.
rilah interviewed me for this eating disorder website thing.
Q. If you could go on a strict vegan diet and drop weight faster than you could put it back on, would you?
A. Based on principal, no. Aside from that, I do not have the willpower, nor desire. I enjoy life too much. I mean, I like to enjoy my life while I’m living it, not suffer, eating twigs and leaves.
read it all.
look it’s me and christian rudder the guy who started the spark he has a band now called bishop allen we saw them last nite at lee’s after magic pony. all i kept thinking when they were playing was the spark the spark the spark i am a loser. we used to chat a long time ago back in the hotmail days, he didn’t remember that, still a loser.
