this would be the perfect time to capitalize, click to enlarge:

dibs anyone?

did it again.

aimoo says she eats singapore vermicelli once a week TOPS.

schizo starving here.

russell peters and this other comedian jason something were sitting directly behind me the entire time and aimoo didn’t say anything about it until they left thanks! the jason guy turned up to stand-up at the rivoli nite so good thing hey we just saw you at the chinese restaurant hey here we are again can i have your postal code?

as predicted, fil’s hot peanut butter jam sandwich dumplings.

mine.

four minutes later mine.

aimoo didn’t even make a dent in hers i was pretty angry cos they gave her the bigger portion and i mentioned it like fifty times and then i ate off her plate she said she was vodka boozin’ it beforehand and was full uh sorry me plus vodka equals give me all the food in this restaurant i have a gun.

animals.

if she gave me the green light i would have inhaled the rest but i had to act nonchalant about it which i did, poorly.

no no it’s cool take it to go.

but which person? so many have wronged me tell me cos i believe you little piece of paper that i drew randomly!

i was a brownie too but i only earned three badges i think, the sports one which aimoo doesn’t have (i played soccer on a team that never won a game and i think we even scored on our own net i was 6) and i got the snowflake cos we went on a nature walk through some park in the winter big deal i saved the planet and learned about some birds. i quit brownies after a year.

i have 50 or so trolls, some were ten bucks each, and some were 20, and the big ones were thirty. what a waste of money.

aimoo is a grown-up now and has her own place.

how did you know?

sure you’ll just have to hang a few ’til i’m through hugging this other dirty smelly street urchin.

also, for you non-toronto persons, there is actually a little mailbox for you to write down your thoughts and feelings and messages haha it should be uprooted and planted in the annex.

of course i sleep in and then have 60 emails to go through when mental city is going down on the internet

here i am jumping on a trampoline and my hair is black again brb

HAHA

Re: Pics

Nanette Parker 9oliver68@jjtruckequipment.com

to raymi

Hello! I am tired tonight. I am nice girl that would like to chat with you. Email me at xx@imailmessage.info only, because I am writing not from my personal email. I will reply with my pics

“only because i am writing not from my personal email”

WHY NOT FUCK FACE!?

+++

hey raymi.

i feel like a real creeper for reading up on yer blog so often and not dropping you a line. i came across you for the first time on buzznet through meltingdolls. (i haven’t posted anything in a while.) i’m also from mississauga (and spend half of my time downtown…the annex, actually, where my boyfriend’s currently moving out from) and have also graduated from a journalism program. i’m sure there’s a six degrees of separation in there somewhere. anyway, i just thought i’d write you to tell you what i think about your blog whenever i come across it. i like what you’re putting out there on the world wide web of internets. you can communicate sarcasm, tell a good story with a unique style, and i’m always impressed when you, in a nutshell, tell someone to go fuck him/herself/or themselves, collectively (efrank), with ever such cleverly chosen script. mmm. comma. keep it up.

ps. wtf is up with those bratz dolls.

signed,

crissandra

this video features my double chin and i call fil a fuckhead cos he slams on the breaks as i attempt to serenade him with an elvis song, then i scream that he ruined my life, my hair is extremely greasy and i am not wearing any make-up cos we were on our way to go swimming. why does youtube make all my videos ugly?

lesbians i put up some new videos.

when you have barely anthing on your menu way to go and burn the apps.

dip and suck edamame one point for the name, no points for the shitty.

chicken curry roti fil and i shared, so good, this nite it was lacking a bit on the filler though.

sammy had the pad thai.

I’M STARVING!

i know, i’m as shocked as you are, drinking water, nursed just one glass of red.

stefan is taking these, another shock, he usually lectures me long and hard when i bust out the camera. “Stefan was the first Canadian actor to use the word “fuck” on Canadian primetime television” -taken from wikipedia.

still working on it.

sharpie’s.

then they went to neutral with kenny and we went to the ‘shoe.

wendi’s “friend” heh.

she’s so thrilled, this says it all, it was awesome watching him being asked to leave and tried to figure out exactly why. oh i dunno maybe it has something to do with DRINKING THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

wendi is really into kitten paws.

fil got off early on friday so we went for a walkies halfway through it i inform him on his blog he mis-linked something so we had to go to a web cafe for him to fix it holy uptight much?

what a great facial expression WHAT!? I DIDN’T SCREW UP YOU DID!

didn’t know there were intestines eyes ears and other organs in my feet thanks chinatown.

this building sort of rules too bad it’s on smells like garbage always street.

fil smokes these.

oh my god you’re so groovy.

nice pretending to read the french side pose.

fil came home before i had a chance to shower cos i was too busy surfing porn.

the WWII soldier war memorial room was open, feat. soldiers who attended UofT.

i have mentioned this before, my grandfather was in ww2, he was in intelligence, his vision was too poor to be a pilot so he briefed pilots before they went out, he was shot at once going into a building.

that’s german, captured at vimy ridge. burn.

haha ikea.

+++

hey check out my friend andrea’s new blog send in a picture.

more like COOLEST TIME EVER LAST NITE pill. share your oops.ca ? haven’t checked that out yet assuming it’s a fucking goldmine though.

hey look it’s my i’m a 30-something teenager who sings about fighting highschool chicks outfit BANANAS YO!

did you see the interview on much when she said DON’T TALK TO THEM when the interviewer acknowledged the harajuku slaves? japan weeps for you. <3 you gwen!

wow, she looks happy.

my niece has some of these bratz dolls still in their packages hint manufacturers THUMBS DOWN. i made my barbies fuck the hell out of each other and they had noses ie. way less porno, these days, no noses equals hump city genitals tingling so appropriate for little girls.

HAHAHHA right!

because girls who play with barbies are totally encouraged to read. nice. like when barbie camp boasts how barbie has been an astronaut, a doctor, a vet, movie star, mother, race car driver pffft uhh ps. SHE’S A FUCKING DOLL!

look in her hand it’s not even a book it’s a fashion magazine ruin the world much?

oh perfect it’s a mohawk baby THANKS ANGELINA JOLIE!

don’t worry girls if you want a vacation from all that fashion you can just clean the house!

so much fun wheee look my dress has dragonflies on it beep beep watch out i’m sucking up valium.

thanks mom i’m that much closer to being as miserable as you are.

german, hmm, i’m so shocked.

even venom’s gotta spread it.

speechless, overwhelmed – look at those boots i partied in those when i was 18.

dear parents i am a rugmuncher and it is because of shit like this thank you for the xmas presents.

honestly, no nose? that was sexy for like two seconds and by the way you are meant for 6 year olds you are NOT my blog you gash station. dear bratz, thank you for terrorism.

is nothing sacred?

don’t worry sexual-orientation-confused sports dykes YOU TOO CAN BE SEXY!

*AND*

the piece du resistance:

wow for real!? a barely toddler on a phallic banana THAT ^%#^@% ROCKS!?!!??

fil pointed out her arm placed like that between her legs looks like a penis. whatever it looks like it is one thousand per cent above and beyond suggestive hi i’m cute can i sit on your rocking banana tee hee giggle daddy barf.

yeah yeah yeah barbie you are over the hill we’re into babies now.

ok for you cocklicks over at sooeys don’t blow your loads all in one go.

to: editor@efrank.ca

ps. ottawa, more like gayowa.