lucky i geared myself up for the hot last friday, first time eating more than one jalapeno slice in my life, this was like eating a jalapeno sandwich fuck i couldn’t even taste the chili in those cookies.
i love you arteries here is a present.
fil’s sister and her fiance and i had a v. nice afternoon, just letting you know.
ps. i just googled fiance to see if i spelled it right and fiance.com pops up, check it out hahahaa.
i think i’m in a summer blog funk, what do you guys want more of, tell me in the comments, guides (guides to what?), movie reviews, long mean tangents about children?
ooh i’m almost winning please click and give me some more thumbs up votes thanks.
we saw the simpsons movie last nite, it was good, could have been cruder though.
this jacket was about 700 dollars and fil was starting to fall in love with it! heinous take that piece of shit off right now!
he didn’t buy these he said he would look like a poseur, only thirty bones for a pair of ponys. mistake.
the day after i bought my expensive pants and my oath to not buy anything for a month i get blasted in the face by all these cheapo ‘kinis.
fil was sexually aroused by the one on the left and said he wanted to remove my limbs and head cos torsos are HOT.
RIP max, may you be fighting the good fight for treats and pats on the head in doggy heaven xoxoxo.
the russian futurists played a show on the drake patio, we got in before they started charging for the door, supposed to start at three, didn’t until after four so to kill time i drank three mojitos.
felt a bit obnoxious for sitting at the bar, so close, but needed shelter from the sun SO HOT yesterday my friends!
the tip to ordering mojitos is JUST DO IT don’t ask how much they cost cos once you’re on the second you are like i will BECOME a mojito i don’tz cares, ps. one wasn’t listed on the bill, score, it’s ok we are huge tippers. i still don’t know how much they were.
i kept sucking up mint so i’d have a mouthful of drink and one leaf caught in my throat and would gag and got goosebumps up and down my arms and back, almost spewed all over the bar which would have been a party.
what, hello? can i have extension: i am the most fucking important person in the world please? no i will not hold.
everyone blew it for missing out all zero friends of mine, that’s right, you know who you aren’t.
gettin’ a little bored here, fil and i have used up all of our stored conversations and began to pick skin flakes and hairs off each other’s faces.
number 2
yesterday was no shower day so i did the bangs upsweep rich fucking asshole girl thing that the hills and laguna beach has shamelessly destroyed for greasy scalp people like me, anyway, at least i look like a vampire all day do you know how much of a tool it feels like to take a photo of yourself in front of 40 drake poseurs sitting behind you in the hot sun watching your every move out of boredom? it feels like mojitos.
ANOTHER PICTURE OF THE BAR AND SUNGLASSES THAT EVERYONE WAS WEARING YESTERDAY!
used to hang with glasses girl (left) she’s married to the whitest dude in the band i know they are ALL honkies, which one?
duder on the left, married to him.
third and final and free!
well this is attractive, i’m sad that elizabeth isn’t here, she is the one who got me to listen to this band in the first place. i just finished drunk-dialing her for the first time.
more like the russian sunglassesists. shut up i love this band.
it’s nice of the drake to provide its clientele with masturbation booths.
ah home again for an underwear night in and nachos.
coming from someone who has never been sexually abused or raped i think there is nothing wrong with you at all, i think you’re fucking awesome to be able to carry on with your life, not allow some shitty incident control you forever and not be one of those WAH WAH WAH my life is FUCKED women on oprah, dude “took” something from you and you are letting him win by bearing this burden and let it paralyze you for the rest of your life the best thing you can do is keep your chin up and be the happiest person you can be.
oh one of these chicks, GREAT. so did you jut out your stomach and arch your back “for weeks” everytime he walked in the room? how about just punching him and then wait and see what happens? ps. it’s LED my ex to believe not LET, how’s oshawa?
first of all way to blow it did you write it on a banner and hang it from your bedroom window? your parents suck, tell them to fuck themselves and move out. what kind of mother do you have? yeesh. tell her she is ugly and fat and you were faking your laughter when she pushed you on the swings.
DON’T GET ME STARTED!
you are child what? and no, blowjobs in cuba are more of a priority right now i don’t have time to “miss” things. way to place your last “zinger” at the bottom so it would be cut off.
so you obviously want to get with the wife but why were you snooping through their computer? red flag: CRAZY.
terrible, awful, get out or call child services on your own house, you are destroying your kid, worst mother ever.
this just in, water is wet.
here’s something that will brighten my day, FUCKING OFF. adults who say when i grow up and giggle afterward and refer to themselves as BIG KIDS make me feel extremely violent. do yourself a favour and keep this ambition of yours a secret.
and what the hell would that be a fucking baywatch pyramid with you on the top, you aren’t brave enough to do that in real life? you have a better chance of being struck by lightning everyday for the nest 365 days, retard.
+++
blowing my ego comment of the day award goes to kymberli
Its sad to say but I am a total closet Raymi fan, Have been for years, but have never, ever posted anything on your site haha, I just like reading, and checkin things out. I think alot of people aspire to be like you haha And you know what…when I 1st discovered you, I didnt tell my friends b/c i was like she is the best person ever, noone else I know should know about her haha, well, things have since changed b/c those friends of mine I feel are worthy and really would appreciate some insight to what could be, and how to be a free spirit, I tell them about you, so in total ive only found …umm… 2 of my friends worthy of your coolness, haha
I’ve been going through my archives, trying to fix all the broken picture links, etc. and have been finding some funny old posts. I found this one, which isn’t really funny, and kind of boring (I wonder why I even bothered to post it) but it’s interesting from a historical perspective. It’s your mother’s first time on MSN.
Lisa says: i had a really long dream about john last night
Joanna says: what happened in teh dream?
Lisa says: we were at a party or something. and he was there. and i said something dirty to him, as i tended to, and then we were in this room with all these people and this one little skank was flirting with him and i was just yelling abuse at her and he was oblivious.
Lisa says: then the skank turned into raymi and i realised that raymi’s boyfriend is way hotter than john and she wouldn’t be all skanky and whatnot.
Joanna says: hahahah
Lisa says: pretty gay dream. it’s like “i miss john but i LOVE raymi”
