trick to looking like a skinny junky, wear a men’s large salmon coloured shirt.
here i am crazy waiting for chinese food to show up, 1.5 hours to get there oh it’s “raining” whatever fil beat the guy coming home and he stopped at the lcbo too.
the sky/view from our patio while watching will and grace and eating seven rounds of chinese food.
i put the sticker on my longboard.
dessert.
then i had to change cos the chinese food made me feel pregnant.
i at least got some free expensive hair product from that die mannequin event.
sentimental romantic outfit with smeary mirror.
new polish, had the same kind as a tweenager.
went out for coffee and got us some groceries for breakfast, egg whites instead of eggs for basil tomato feta green onion scramble, can’t notice a difference in taste, no fat and bonus: looks like a yeast infection surprise!
Elizabeth: I am sending you a song (glamorous life – nitecourt – Sheila E – edit remix) and I need you to make a video of what its like to listen to it, shoot it with the camera on fil’s eyebrows
me: ok why do i have to make a video cos its a good song?
Elizabeth: oh well I mean Im inspired to make a video so you know I am giving you my inspiration
me: ok i am listening to this song now how am i supposed to feel i feel like i am in a drum circle on lithium ok now i am in africa and i have dreadlocks
Elizabeth: hahah
me: oh wait this is MIA now?
Elizabeth: its a REMIX
me: ok now i am climbing a chain link fence
Elizabeth: HAHAHHA
me: now i am in a janet jackson video
Elizabeth: yes
me: and i am doing rap dance moves
Elizabeth: the one where she goes around the world absolutely
me: and i am 35 lbs overweight no rhythym nation
Elizabeth: oh really? I was just about to say “and your abs are really toned”
me: ok now i am in a pillow fight wearing pink and my hair is crimped oh now my abs are toned at this part
Elizabeth: what part how many seconds
me: now i am collecting soup cans and letting them spill down the stairs cos thats what it sounds like 2 mins in
Elizabeth: da
me: or like 150 i like it i kind of have to call my dealer now now i am in a dance off
Elizabeth: right
me: wearing hi-top la gears
Elizabeth: yes with neon laces ironically with your hair combed to the side
me: and making fun of other girls on the scene and i am talking about how fluorescent is dead
Elizabeth: DEAD are you dancing with a black guy because I am not so much with as for jew know
me: YES he is dressed like mc hammer on basketball afternoon
Elizabeth: and now I am headed to the bar bc the song is over
me: we need to get a blog and do this music fantasy conversations like everyday yeah now i am going to the bathroom and taking a coke dump for the 60th time
Elizabeth: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and Im like “damn when I get home Im going to have to shower before I can put out”
me: or it goes past the point of being able to do it cos u did too much and you have to tell a long story about the time someone in highschool told you about a play they went to in thailand
and this is me in my dad/back to school outfit hahaha.
now here is some art, i do not know by whom, gorilla monsoon didn’t know the name of the artist hung on their own walls. geniuses.
this is the artist.
painted on canvas to look like woodgrain i thought it was real at first.
and now for these stupid dicks, the ugly one on the left said he was the artist i said oh yeah you eh? and they all laughed hysterically and i said oh so that’s you and pointed at one of the paintings (of the actual artist) and i said sorry dude you do NOT look like that, then pretended to double-take, they believed it then chortled some more so i hung back and took some more pictures to eavesdrop in on them talking about me, i couldn’t make any of it out other than they are loser douchebags who hang out at gorilla monsoon who thought they were more intelligent than me. i hate young people. we were there ONLY because the horseshoe patio was full.
i just found out this guy rob wrote and starred in phil the alien why did everyone keep that from me last nite oh man the jokes that could have been had. when dimitri said i looked like angelica houston rob said that fil looked like an even younger angelica houston and we all laughed then i said who is angelica houston?
should i do tiny blond streaks again? blond chunks are tacky but teeny ones i think are allowed.
that’s out front of a house in oakville i went to a party for a kid who turned 19 and a stripper cop showed up.
same place.
looking at these kind of makes me dreamy for bangs again. but i know it wouldn’t be the same, i’m older now, stopped smoking weed and switched to drinking instead and my face grew.
look gillian my longboard now you can be my girlfriend because i impressed you.
RIP 1049 cedargrove blvd.
these were all taken in 2004 well except for me with the tennis ball duh.
+++
me: we need toilet paper does ******** bring that are u going to swing by the lcbo on yer way home
Phil: nope you get to go get some
me: do u want something other than wontons i mean as well as
Phil: oh i wasnt planning it
me: cos i might get super greedy and like eat a huge portion of the sing verm haha adorable “might”
Phil: oh maybe we should get something extra AND WHY HAVENT YOU ORDERED YET order a “spicy peanuts chicken”
me: mmmmmmmmmmmm why did reading that make me super horny?
Phil: ??? i dunno
me: bring home some beer maybe please asian beers
Phil: k did you shower?
me: uh no comment why cos u want to do me
Phil: maybe
me: maybe i will eat in the bath because i am a fat disgusting elvis presley
