i just cut my pillow dress into a shirt i am a good idea here‘s some haikus i wrote in 2005 and here is fil as jeff from today’s special.

haha a convo my mom and i had before she started blogging. the comments are still there for the post too.

OH NO
i can really giv’er to this song, but not so much this time. i may or may not be drunk. for some reason i was feeling shy.

garden rose
pretty fucking amazing if you are able to wait it out ’til the very end ha.

me: oh man this song i am singing (garden rose, second video, band is lavender diamond whom i love and we hung out with once and they are from LA so if you live there, stalk them.)
brutal
i look fucking retarded

Phil: haha

me: like im trying to be whimiscal and delicate
but i just look like a drunk witch

Phil: hahaha

me: im like waving my fingers in my face to show off my polish
it doesnt translate

Phil: hahahaha

me: oh and then my voice is cracking
u made me feel shy
oh and now i am trying to sing opera

check out my brother checking out my nubs.

sorry but i am super fucking into my nails right now i am looking forward to doing another coat i just might go and buy up the rest of the colours too.

albino eggs!

yes i wear that sweater 7 days a week now.

mesquite injection.

dinner at fil’s mum’s.

oh good news, she went to a psychic and the psychic said me and fil are getting married and having two kids! ha.

her second little baby thing arrived too, this one is uglier than the last, the other one’s eyes are at least closed.

look at fil’s mercury filling, OLD!

oh just perusing the baby catalogue.

ew get away creepy ugly desperate girl!

labradorABLES hahaha.

before that we met up with my dad.

he had that mmmmm.

i was starving my balls off so had a grilled cheeser, right before dinner too. fil just sat there starving.

hey at least it was on whole wheat. pfft.

okai bai.

the beaver

they were out of the avocado salsa so we shared the garlic white bean spread instead, pretty good, a bit on the bland side at first but then you come to crave more of it near the end. fil described it as refreshing.

we both had the prosciutto salad, $10. amazing and very generous with the prosciutto.

then we dropped in on samir and sharpie.

they gots a new tv.

that’s the corona i smuggled from the beac.

i was making fun of rock shirts last nite saying oh wtf is with all these skeletons all of a sudden woah so hardcore thanks for reminding me you have a skeleton and then carried it over to WWF shirts, fil’s new shirt looks like a WWF t-shirt. the skeleton on sweatershirt/hoodie was good for maybe 2 minutes now it’s like babyland go away how’s good charlotte doing?

fil wanted to call the police TWICE saturday nite for two separate incidents. story to come.

i just heard a little girl outside in the park scream HEY LETS PLAY MERMAID!

fil got a david beckhamesque hoodie yesterday.

trick to looking like a skinny junky, wear a men’s large salmon coloured shirt.

here i am crazy waiting for chinese food to show up, 1.5 hours to get there oh it’s “raining” whatever fil beat the guy coming home and he stopped at the lcbo too.

the sky/view from our patio while watching will and grace and eating seven rounds of chinese food.

i put the sticker on my longboard.

dessert.

then i had to change cos the chinese food made me feel pregnant.

i at least got some free expensive hair product from that die mannequin event.

sentimental romantic outfit with smeary mirror.

new polish, had the same kind as a tweenager.

went out for coffee and got us some groceries for breakfast, egg whites instead of eggs for basil tomato feta green onion scramble, can’t notice a difference in taste, no fat and bonus: looks like a yeast infection surprise!

stay tuned for a hilarious drunk fil story!

who is this?

DEAR TONITE,

HEADS UP! I AM FEELING ROMANTIC AND SENTIMENTAL SO I WILL BE DRESSED ACCORDINGLY.

THAT’S ALL.

xx R/L.

Elizabeth: I am sending you a song (glamorous life – nitecourt – Sheila E – edit remix) and I need you to make a video of what its like to listen to it, shoot it with the camera on fil’s eyebrows

me: ok why do i have to make a video
cos its a good song?

Elizabeth: oh
well
I mean
Im inspired to make a video
so
you know
I am giving you my inspiration

me:
ok i am listening to this song now how am i supposed to feel
i feel like i am in a drum circle on lithium
ok now i am in africa
and i have dreadlocks

Elizabeth: hahah

me: oh wait this is MIA now?

Elizabeth: its a REMIX

me: ok now i am climbing a chain link fence

Elizabeth: HAHAHHA

me: now i am in a janet jackson video

Elizabeth: yes

me: and i am doing rap dance moves

Elizabeth: the one where she goes around the world
absolutely

me: and i am 35 lbs overweight
no rhythym nation

Elizabeth: oh really?
I was just about to say “and your abs are really toned”

me: ok now i am in a pillow fight wearing pink and my hair is crimped
oh now my abs are toned at this part

Elizabeth: what part
how many seconds

me: now i am collecting soup cans and letting them spill down the stairs cos thats what it sounds like
2 mins in

Elizabeth: da

me: or like 150
i like it
i kind of have to call my dealer now
now i am in a dance off

Elizabeth: right

me: wearing hi-top la gears

Elizabeth: yes
with neon laces
ironically
with your hair combed to the side

me: and making fun of other girls on the scene and i am talking about how fluorescent is dead

Elizabeth: DEAD
are you dancing with a black guy
because I am
not so much with
as for
jew know

me: YES
he is dressed like mc hammer on basketball afternoon

Elizabeth: and now I am headed to the bar
bc the song is over

me: we need to get a blog and do this music fantasy conversations like everyday
yeah now i am going to the bathroom and taking a coke dump for the 60th time

Elizabeth: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
and Im like
“damn when I get home Im going to have to shower before I can put out”

me: or it goes past the point of being able to do it cos u did too much and you have to tell a long story about the time someone in highschool told you about a play they went to in thailand