ok so here is the story of fil and the police and no not the sting kind of police.

so after leaving samir/sharpie’s we were waiting for a cab on dundas it was late and i may or may not have smoken some pot and i may or may not have also been drunk too though fil was full-on blasted, he didn’t smoke weed (he can’t) anyway someone shines a laser pen at me from a window and i saw the red glare of it swoosh the air so i go hey someone just shon (shone shined shown ungh?) a laser pen at me then fil turns schizo and says THEY CANNOT DO THAT! and marches over to the window and the whoever slams the window closed and fil takes out his palm pilot phone and pretends to call the police and i am jumping all around him (baked) going HEY are you REALLY calling the cops hello hello hello DON’T! fil STOP! it wasn’t a big deal! (inside my head i am totally flattered though) i was pictuing the police showing up and we are wasted and i am high and then they like ask me to tell them where all the weed in toronto is i dunno i was FUCKED guys! then fil shows me he was pretending so then i make a big show of oh yeah the police will be here in three seconds! then a cab comes we get in and fil is giving the window menacing looks while simultaneously pointing at his phone from the backseat window haha and i am like boy that was exhilirating man!

old people land.

then when the cab pulled up to our building i see this fight on the street and i am all into it and then get out and run toward it and the cabbie told fil don’t let her go there alone (i’m reckless) i only ran to the end of the driveway they are on the other side of the street but they break it up and the one guy runs really fast in one direction and the other dude does the same except the other way and fil has his phone out and about to call the cops cos i’m like oh this shit is NOT over yet something else is going to happen, when fil is ripped he gets really into my conspiracy theories like i am a psychic and can fortell future fights and then he takes it one step further and wants to call the cops holy buzzkill! but he didn’t call 911 we go inside and i start talking about it again and he gets all panicky do you think i should call the cops then? NO I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD CALL THE COPS AT 2AM! then we start to eat some cheese and monstergirl and i had been texting and fil is like CALL HER INSTEAD SHE’S AWAKE! i’m all NO but then he forces me too and i am prepared to leave a making fun of him voicemail but couldn’t cos he was standing in the livingroom watching me and pointing at me like don’t you DARE! cos he could tell i was gearing up to burn him on her voicemail. i said dude she is not drunk WE are the drunk ones specifically YOU just cos she is awake at 2 in the morning doesn’t mean she’s drinking the world.

in the morning i reminded fil about all of this and he was really embarrassed.

the end.